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themover
09 Feb 15 18:12
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Date Joined: 25 Apr 03
| Topic/replies: 53,043 | Blogger: themover's blog
thank you in advance
Pause Switch to Standard View What is needed to "convert" to Islam?
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Report GAZO February 9, 2015 6:20 PM GMT
no toilet paper just a bottle
Report Zazu February 9, 2015 6:23 PM GMT
£500 per week so I don't have to go to work
Report Ovalman. February 9, 2015 6:24 PM GMT
A beach towel to wrap around your head.
Report fool proof February 9, 2015 6:29 PM GMT
Not washing seems pretty high up the list.
Report Hank Hill February 9, 2015 6:31 PM GMT
A total absence of any brain.
Report Ibrahima Sonko February 9, 2015 6:35 PM GMT
Being a hypocrite usually helps.
Report Sica Dan February 9, 2015 6:35 PM GMT
Tolerance.
Report Emden February 9, 2015 6:38 PM GMT
you must be 'peace' loving - it's in the koran
Report CLYDEBANK29 February 9, 2015 7:16 PM GMT
You need to know directions to Mecca ... the city not the bingo hall
Report treetop February 9, 2015 7:19 PM GMT
An inability to think for yourself as you will rapidly be told what to think by an angry Imam piped into the local mosque from Saudi Arabia, that renowned location for tolerance and understanding.
Report David Fishwick Minibus Sales February 9, 2015 7:23 PM GMT
you gotta have faith
Report Eeternaloptimist February 9, 2015 7:30 PM GMT
About 100 years. You won't have to worry about choice because it'll be compulsory by then.
Report buggsbunny February 9, 2015 8:42 PM GMT
Anyone can convert as long as you believe in Allah and the prohfit Mohammed walk into any mosque see the imman 'you copy what he says ,job done
Report Scamp the man February 9, 2015 8:46 PM GMT
37 virgins ...i think DevilDevil
Report Charlie February 9, 2015 8:58 PM GMT
72.
I like this article: Virgins? What Virgins? http://www.theguardian.com/books/2002/jan/12/books.guardianreview5
The final paragraph is:
"As Luxenberg's work has only recently been published we must await its scholarly assessment before we can pass any judgements. But if his analysis is correct then suicide bombers, or rather prospective martyrs, would do well to abandon their culture of death, and instead concentrate on getting laid 72 times in this world, unless of course they would really prefer chilled or white raisins, according to their taste, in the next."
Report G1_Jockey_4 February 9, 2015 9:03 PM GMT
dont get why they would want virgins.
surely you want a bird or 72 that are experts at it??
Report Charlie February 9, 2015 9:08 PM GMT
Presumably so they can't be criticised for being **** at shagging and having a little todger.
Report Charlie February 9, 2015 9:11 PM GMT
More food for thought: http://www.albatrus.org/english/religions/islam/72virgins_and_boys.htm
"Homosexuality was and is widely practised in Islamic countries.  To please the homosexuals among his followers he promised them pre-pubescent boys in Paradise. So after committing plunder, loot, rape and murder in this life, the followers of Islam get "rewarded" by untouched virginal youths who are fresh like pearls."
Report flushgordon1 February 9, 2015 9:15 PM GMT
A frontal lobotomy and a 1 man tent from millets.
Report moisok February 9, 2015 9:17 PM GMT
they are of course, completely bonkers - which is very worrying
Report Emden February 9, 2015 10:06 PM GMT
a prayer mat
Report Make my hay February 9, 2015 10:11 PM GMT
Get out your mat and pray to the west, I'll get out mine and pray for myself.
Report Barry Conway February 9, 2015 10:32 PM GMT
You first need a khatalytic converter to make your Toyota Avensis suitable for use as a minicab.
Report guinness2dear February 9, 2015 10:38 PM GMT
A penchant for marrying 9yr old girls (male)

A liking for genital mutilation and being enslaved (female)
Report themover February 9, 2015 11:45 PM GMT
Shocked
Report spellingandgrammarchecker February 10, 2015 1:13 PM GMT
Charlie knows...
Report subversion February 10, 2015 5:32 PM GMT
a beard
Report guinness2dear February 10, 2015 5:40 PM GMT
And the males?
Report Burton-Brewers February 10, 2015 5:51 PM GMT
first join the Labour Party then they will show you what to do and explain your benefit entitlements
Report Wesdag February 10, 2015 5:52 PM GMT
Intolerance.
Report Foinavon February 10, 2015 6:16 PM GMT
If you already believe in a god, you are halfway there.
Report Vubiant February 10, 2015 10:21 PM GMT
Reckon BSE would do it.
Report Emden February 11, 2015 10:10 PM GMT
a minicab
Report stickyvicky February 12, 2015 11:48 AM GMT
Practise talking to people while looking out your front door letter box
Report Aunty Post February 13, 2015 1:56 PM GMT
Couldn't be more simple....grow the biggest and most stupid full beard you can.

Get some baggy PJs and sandals.

Skive off the production line five times per day, for seven minutes, to which add time for ritual ablutions.

And finally must go "Kabut Sale" every Sunday morning.
Report Ken Masters February 13, 2015 2:05 PM GMT
By production line I assume you mean the Mrs(es).
Report guinness2dear February 13, 2015 2:11 PM GMT
They will have to wait until schools out..
Report Aunty Post February 13, 2015 2:12 PM GMT
Very droll Ken... Laugh
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