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no toilet paper just a bottle
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£500 per week so I don't have to go to work
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A beach towel to wrap around your head.
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Not washing seems pretty high up the list.
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A total absence of any brain.
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Being a hypocrite usually helps.
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Tolerance.
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you must be 'peace' loving - it's in the koran
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You need to know directions to Mecca ... the city not the bingo hall
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An inability to think for yourself as you will rapidly be told what to think by an angry Imam piped into the local mosque from Saudi Arabia, that renowned location for tolerance and understanding.
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you gotta have faith
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About 100 years. You won't have to worry about choice because it'll be compulsory by then.
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Anyone can convert as long as you believe in Allah and the prohfit Mohammed walk into any mosque see the imman 'you copy what he says ,job done
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37 virgins ...i think
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72.
I like this article: Virgins? What Virgins? http://www.theguardian.com/books/2002/jan/12/books.guardianreview5 The final paragraph is: "As Luxenberg's work has only recently been published we must await its scholarly assessment before we can pass any judgements. But if his analysis is correct then suicide bombers, or rather prospective martyrs, would do well to abandon their culture of death, and instead concentrate on getting laid 72 times in this world, unless of course they would really prefer chilled or white raisins, according to their taste, in the next." |
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dont get why they would want virgins.
surely you want a bird or 72 that are experts at it?? |
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Presumably so they can't be criticised for being **** at shagging and having a little todger.
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More food for thought: http://www.albatrus.org/english/religions/islam/72virgins_and_boys.htm
"Homosexuality was and is widely practised in Islamic countries. To please the homosexuals among his followers he promised them pre-pubescent boys in Paradise. So after committing plunder, loot, rape and murder in this life, the followers of Islam get "rewarded" by untouched virginal youths who are fresh like pearls." |
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A frontal lobotomy and a 1 man tent from millets.
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they are of course, completely bonkers - which is very worrying
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a prayer mat
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Get out your mat and pray to the west, I'll get out mine and pray for myself.
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You first need a khatalytic converter to make your Toyota Avensis suitable for use as a minicab.
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A penchant for marrying 9yr old girls (male)
A liking for genital mutilation and being enslaved (female) |
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Charlie knows...
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a beard
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And the males?
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first join the Labour Party then they will show you what to do and explain your benefit entitlements
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Intolerance.
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If you already believe in a god, you are halfway there.
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Reckon BSE would do it.
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a minicab
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Practise talking to people while looking out your front door letter box
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Couldn't be more simple....grow the biggest and most stupid full beard you can.
Get some baggy PJs and sandals. Skive off the production line five times per day, for seven minutes, to which add time for ritual ablutions. And finally must go "Kabut Sale" every Sunday morning. |
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By production line I assume you mean the Mrs(es).
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They will have to wait until schools out..
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Very droll Ken...
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