I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.

On the run up to the hit on Joe Unwin, Heelie Watson and Hayley Watts had an argument at Stanislaw the Pole's Friday night poker mash-up in Slamannan.

Hayley Watts pulled a pocket bottle opener on Heelie - one of those jobs with a very sharp little dagger - and drove it straight into his left heel. She hit him so hard that the blade broke and stayed in his heel. The pain burned like molten papaya and mango in a turnip tinted volcano of agony.

This type of incident had happened to Heelie back in the Seventies, when he ran the young Airdrie mob out of town, hence his nickname, "Heelie", a name he disliked intensely. His actual birth name was Bernard John Davis Watson, and his parents were G.P.s from the rough part of Bearsden. Hayley followed up by smashing his right cheekbone with a pool ball she grabbed from the kids' table. She was spreading panic like a rabid pit-bull on the loose.

"Ya wee b1tch!" screamed Heelie, "You'll be feckin' sorry the morra...YA EVIL WEE B1TCH!"

Stanislaw and Ingo had to restrain Hayley Watts, who was pure dead raging and ready to finish off Heelie Watson...and not in a good way. Heelie was a big guy but Hayley had taken him down without fear or hesitation. Hayley was now immobile, tied to an IKEA dining chair.