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Stevie Strikes
30 Sep 14 10:01
Joined:
Date Joined: 27 Apr 04
| Topic/replies: 1,279 | Blogger: Stevie Strikes's blog
F'ck off - I don't want another 67 of those.
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Report Stevie Strikes September 30, 2014 11:36 AM BST
I had to add "take garage rubbish to dump" to the top of it, and I can manage that one today before racing starts.
Report Makybe_Diva September 30, 2014 11:38 AM BST
Laugh
Report Stow_judge September 30, 2014 12:27 PM BST
timing
Report MisterBadger September 30, 2014 12:36 PM BST
that's ok, I'm not a real doctor
Report HH Sultan Vinegar September 30, 2014 12:38 PM BST
It's going to take that cuἡt ages to paint that fence.
Report johnizere September 30, 2014 12:40 PM BST
Must be your feet then?
Report Stow_judge September 30, 2014 12:42 PM BST
That's good because I couldn't play it before.
Report MisterBadger September 30, 2014 12:44 PM BST
it's not a porsche it's a ferrari
Report Mikael D'Haguenet September 30, 2014 1:06 PM BST
and chucked out the Mexican.
Report Capt__F September 30, 2014 1:11 PM BST
any cats innit
Report Ken Masters September 30, 2014 1:16 PM BST
Hypothermia (also: Me, in my lucky blue rape suit)
Report Ken Masters September 30, 2014 1:16 PM BST
A muppet.
Report doantwin2easy September 30, 2014 1:35 PM BST
have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Report pixie September 30, 2014 1:36 PM BST
Know it? I facking wrote it!
Report pixie September 30, 2014 1:37 PM BST
I time traveler walked into a bar.
Report pixie September 30, 2014 1:37 PM BST
* A time traveler walked into a bar.
Report MisterBadger September 30, 2014 1:43 PM BST
read it? I work with him!
Report DStyle September 30, 2014 1:44 PM BST
and then he jumps out from behind a pile of bricks with a peacock feather up his arse and shouts "supplies"
Report pixie September 30, 2014 1:51 PM BST
'Harrow, tax driver'.
Report pixie September 30, 2014 1:52 PM BST
Ffs! What's wrong with me today? *taxi driver
Report wallis September 30, 2014 3:06 PM BST
"If thats the organ of life then stick it in the camel and lets go home"
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:54 PM BST
and the poof said 'I just did that'
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:55 PM BST
'fack the other step, I'll piss here.'
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:55 PM BST
'drained wops keep falling on me head'
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:56 PM BST
'and that's the end of the Gnus'
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:57 PM BST
' I dunno, I got horny and fell off the perch.'
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:57 PM BST
'fack the sheds'
Report call me a taxi September 30, 2014 5:58 PM BST
'No!! Jam, you daft coont'
Report naydam September 30, 2014 6:36 PM BST
Aye, we all like a new 'un!
Report naydam September 30, 2014 6:38 PM BST
Brother Joseph's always complaining!
Report brendanuk1 September 30, 2014 6:55 PM BST
Because the dog's a fookin liar. He never did any of that stuff.
Report mad mad moon September 30, 2014 7:02 PM BST
So I said to my Pakistani neighbour "You win, you can keep the eggs"
Report Pokermonster September 30, 2014 7:09 PM BST
Ta da!
Report MisterBadger September 30, 2014 7:14 PM BST
well I didn't have it all cut off, did I?
Report brendanuk1 September 30, 2014 7:17 PM BST
that's what i said diddle i
Report Shanelee1966 September 30, 2014 8:24 PM BST
Nothing Yogi
Report Kit-Kat-Dan September 30, 2014 8:37 PM BST
I needed somewhere to park my bike.
Report MisterBadger September 30, 2014 8:50 PM BST
some cracking jokes on here!  Laugh
Report STUDYFORM September 30, 2014 8:54 PM BST
You don't think I actually asked for a 12" Pianist, do you?
Report STUDYFORM September 30, 2014 8:57 PM BST
It's not that amazing, he keeps p1ssing in the fridge.
Report Kit-Kat-Dan September 30, 2014 9:06 PM BST
If you loved me you'd swallow that.
Report naydam October 1, 2014 1:16 AM BST
But these Fockes were Messerschmitts!
Report naydam October 1, 2014 1:17 AM BST
So he looked at her and he said "That's once"!
Report danniellasmincepies October 1, 2014 9:20 AM BST
Nut screws washers and bolts
Report Mikael D'Haguenet October 1, 2014 9:37 AM BST
Death by Mau Mau!
Report Ken Masters October 1, 2014 10:51 AM BST
No, it's just ice cream.
Report Ken Masters October 1, 2014 10:51 AM BST
Nice tits. Where do you want these blinds?
Report Crisp77 October 1, 2014 11:14 AM BST
Because they are likely to be easy peelers.
Report Crisp77 October 1, 2014 11:15 AM BST
Sounds more like nightclub antics in Wales than a soup
Report danniellasmincepies October 1, 2014 11:18 AM BST
Pardon me Al, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes .
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 11:49 AM BST
^^ Roy -  shirley.
Report danniellasmincepies October 1, 2014 11:55 AM BST
Yes that does work better cmat Whoops
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 12:00 PM BST
Happy
Report Stow_judge October 1, 2014 12:33 PM BST
with Hans that do dishes are as soft as Juvais with mild green hairy lipped squid
Report Akak October 1, 2014 2:07 PM BST
I know what you mean. I just don't know what your talking about.
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 2:52 PM BST
You, pick them peanuts shells up, get that black ****, and fack off.
Report Kit-Kat-Dan October 1, 2014 4:29 PM BST
I don't know who the other two are but the one in the middle is Kenny Dalglish.
Report naydam October 1, 2014 4:33 PM BST
No...it was a chair leg! LaughLaughLaughLaughLaughLaugh

Sorry 'bout that. Couldn't help it.
Report HH Sultan Vinegar October 1, 2014 5:03 PM BST
The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you
don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Report HH Sultan Vinegar October 1, 2014 5:15 PM BST
yeth and I'm only sikthteen
Report Kit-Kat-Dan October 1, 2014 5:29 PM BST
I can get your toe out no problem but I can't do a thing for Acker Bilk.
Report naydam October 1, 2014 5:29 PM BST
Could you get rid of the pain but keep the swelling?!
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 6:10 PM BST
No nurse, I said prick his boil. 
A shocking omission.
Report SlippyBlue October 1, 2014 6:20 PM BST
Just don't hit me as hard as you hit that crocodile.
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 6:21 PM BST
I'm sliding s gong on the chest of a slave.
Report terry mccann October 1, 2014 7:23 PM BST
looked so good i eat it myself
Report terry mccann October 1, 2014 7:25 PM BST
no.but it sure do keep the flys off de melons
Report STUDYFORM October 1, 2014 9:45 PM BST
I's impotent and I's gonna LOOK impotent.
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 11:42 PM BST
Dere's not enough blood for de two of us, no what amin.
Report call me a taxi October 1, 2014 11:42 PM BST
How often I gotta do dat?
Report treble October 1, 2014 11:52 PM BST
I'm not cooking egg fried rice at this time of night!
Report call me a taxi October 2, 2014 12:21 AM BST
I like fishing, she's got worms.
Report call me a taxi October 2, 2014 12:21 AM BST
Well...they ain't been playing too well lately.
Report call me a taxi October 2, 2014 12:22 AM BST
I fell off the tailboard and woke up on the bedroom floor.
Report call me a taxi October 2, 2014 12:22 AM BST
He's a taxi driver from Liverpool.
Report call me a taxi October 2, 2014 1:03 AM BST
Ahs facking dis custard.
Report Tony Broke October 2, 2014 8:41 AM BST
and LDR (lana del rey ) said, thanks for that, tony, we had a great time.
Report Mikael D'Haguenet October 2, 2014 9:38 AM BST
"Look at that 'S' car go!"
Report Desmond Orchard October 2, 2014 2:09 PM BST
And the Pope says, "Don't panic my child, I gave the ****** my rucksack."
Report Desmond Orchard October 2, 2014 2:09 PM BST
It was an iron bar
Report Ken Masters October 2, 2014 2:29 PM BST
A multi-story carp ark.
Report danniellasmincepies October 2, 2014 2:36 PM BST
Well hop over the counter and get me a steak
Report History Maker October 2, 2014 5:36 PM BST
The barman gave her one.
Report stickyvicky October 2, 2014 6:14 PM BST
Stop clicking your fingers then !
Report Jack Hacksaw October 2, 2014 6:58 PM BST
What?...Eric?
Report Kit-Kat-Dan October 2, 2014 8:31 PM BST
So I punched her in the face & fekked her twice.
Report lovegod October 3, 2014 10:21 AM BST
No I'm a frayed knot.
Report Cobblaz October 3, 2014 5:16 PM BST
And she said "Well, you're not a member of BUPA, are you?"
Report Desmond Orchard October 3, 2014 5:34 PM BST
Then the Doctor walked in and said, "Who the fook was that guy?"
Report speedypro October 3, 2014 5:39 PM BST
We've had picallili sandwiches
Report STUDYFORM October 3, 2014 5:44 PM BST
Dat ain't no canoe, Dat's my 'flection.
Report blackestnight October 3, 2014 5:49 PM BST
You punch him in the face and I'll nick his mars bar
Report Foinavon October 3, 2014 7:32 PM BST
You don't want to be left with an ugly one.
Report Foinavon October 3, 2014 7:33 PM BST
That sheep's a liar.
Report Foinavon October 3, 2014 7:35 PM BST
No, let's walk down, open the gate and **** all of them.
Report screaming from beneaththewaves October 3, 2014 8:44 PM BST
"Ah come t' git the man who shot ma paw."
Report screaming from beneaththewaves October 3, 2014 8:47 PM BST
STUDYFORM 30 Sep 14 20:54 Joined: 26 Jan 05 | Topic/replies: 14,460 | Blogger: STUDYFORM's blog
You don't think I actually asked for a 12" Pianist, do you?


You'll like this, STUDYFORM:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE3PgsIjvrk&list=RDEE3PgsIjvrk#t=0
Report STUDYFORM October 3, 2014 9:03 PM BST
That was a very large number of ducks!!!!

Not that there are any ducks in the joke that punchline was from.
Report screaming from beneaththewaves October 3, 2014 9:44 PM BST
I didn't ask for a thousand ducks!
Report STUDYFORM October 3, 2014 9:49 PM BST
Ahhh.

Very good.

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y248/tophat665/Desire_12InchPianist.jpg
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