Vel SFA 24

I don't like cryptic sh1t! I never do cryptic crosswords...I'm a very straightforward man - I only eat cornflakes for breakfast, me...

OK.  It's always eaten me inside up that I collected the literate Sci-Fi/Fantasy magazines but it was the picture comics for the illiterates than became ultra-valuable.  The one time I was in hospital in the late 50s I seem to recall eating Superman no 1 when it was ward reading (up to the mid-teens I used to eat the corners of pages - I guess I had a lignin deficiency).  Anyway, SFA 24 ....

The worst of it is that I managed to track down a rare copy of Science Fiction Adventures No. 24 for eighty dollars -- the cover is ripped and it's an all L. Ron Hubbard edition... Nothing but dismal inter-galactic L. Ron Hubbard stories featuring nose-breathing tall aliens.

So what does the number 24 denote anyway? Are you gonna wait 24 days to tell me, you rotter?

Skills Funding Agency...Scottish Football Association...Scottish Flickers Association - Subbuteo league...

You lie - and you know it.

You must promise to not tell anyone else.  Ballard's The Drowned World first editions go for £1-2 thousand.  Some dealer is trying to sell SFA 24 for £3-400 because it contains a novella that became TDW.  They were going for £3-50p before his death.

I love Force Flakes - "high o'er the fence leaps Sunny Jim, Force is the food that lifteth him" (or similar).  Sadly Sunny Jim, the cabin boy  in Para Handy, Master Mariner, died last week.

Bodil - are you aware that Ted Rogers was a staunch supporter of Thatcher? I've got an 'orrible feelin' I did some crypto-nuttic thing on a previous thread...and I am paying for it now...as surely as if I were a deranged Rangers fan from the 60s, shot forward to the year twenty fourteen...

I sometimes - not often - wonder what the first Perry Rhodan is worth.

Don't talk - I once bought a tea chest full of James Bond first editions for £70 - all with DWs in perfect condition - and they were stolen before I could collect the books. I only got my £70 back - this was circa 1983...hate thinking about all this sh1t...

Let's think about Para Handy - a kinder, gentler time, when we weren't dying of old age.

You have no fookin' idea - seriously - it's like Del Boy to the power Lovejoy squared, the distressing tales I could tell. I could have bought a thoroughbred stud farm in Normandy and lived a deeply troubled life with Marisa Berenson...my racing colours are Aztec Blue with Whelk Grey crossbelts and a Cerise cap...but they...have...never...never ever...been carried by...an 'oss!!

Neil M. Gunn was born in the village of DUNBEATH! Henry Cecil used to train that - it was sold to Sheikh Mohammed for a squillion bucks, after it's successful 2 year old career.

However...however...Neil M. Gunn is sadly NOT related to Neil Munro...

Have you ever read Lewis Grassic Gibbon, Bodil? We once went to Vivian Heilbron's house to collect MASSIVE WARDROBES...she was in Sunset Song and Kidnapped with Michael Caine.

'its' sigh

The paths not taken, the drinks undrunk, the bets not laid ...

So SFA 24 - hunt them down.  Car boot sales maybe?

Where was I?  Tonight I am drinking oxygenated vodka.

Are you a man of significant wealth, Bodil? Can you please pay Crags to read Sunset Song and Cloud Howe? You can apply to the Doris Duke Foundation for help.

Failing that, you can apply to the Daisy Duke Foundation for an au pair.

Look, through sheer force of words I made him eat his left arm - well, one of his arms.  If he troubles you, I'll make him eat the other.

Steady now, crags.

I have a Tesco Helter Skelter ice lolly melting in a tumbler of gin. I have further evolved it by adding a Lee's snowball.

Velasquez..are you a modern day "Young John Gourlay?"

"Chris Guthrie's mother, broken by repeated childbirths, commits suicide and poisons her baby twins. Two younger children go to live with their aunt and uncle in Slamannan, leaving Chris, her older brother Will and her father to run the farm on their own. Will and his father have a stormy relationship and Will emigrates to Argentina with his young bride, Senga Bungey-Douglas."

Sofia - had to google that name...all of a sudden I am reading about a fella making his fortune in Crimea...and some stuff about the temperance movement...

try-the house with the green shutters..masterpiece of literature.

or george douglas brown

then read it...you will adore it.

Everything evolves, including acute alcoholic degeneration. Tbh, I can't think of many alcoholic drinks whose taste I actually like.  Probably just as well.

Now, it's the Terry Pratchett stuff that fetches a lot.  I have both Science Fantasy no 60 (his first published story if you ignore the school leaving mag) and New Worlds 156 - his second.  Have them all - but someone seems to have eaten the corner of 60.  Bastardo.

Our teacher did mention that when we did "A Scots Quair" - as a racey, sensationalist book - she called it Scottish Kitsch.

Bodil - you need to sell all that stuff along with your DDR memorabilia, so that you can build a massive modernist masterpiece mansion in Monrovia.

Sofia - have you read WAX FRUIT by Guy McCrone? Just bought a copy from the Chemist's this morning for 50p...charity trolly...

There's a lovely John Singer Sargent portrait on the cover...of a posh lady painted in a slick style...you won't starve painting like that, for sure...oh my, begorra...

Ballard would have approved of Monrovia, and the inevitable moral and physical decline.

Perhaps I should just give in and

nope I have not..the house with green shutters is a book that I rate very highly..as a youth that and
kurt vonnegut stuff floated my boat.

And ? ---->

.. and ..

Sorry, Sofia - I was aiming that AND at Bodil...I will have to try to read all that Scottish stuff. Apparently, Sunset Song has been re-made for 2014 telly and will soon be on the bbc or whatever.

I have read all the Kurt Vonnegut books and my favourite character is Rabo Karabekian.

And so it goes.

its late.can't a fellow miss out the word most now and then?
GOD BLESS YOU MR ROSEWATER IS MY FAV although everyone else prefers slaughterhouse-5

Kilgore Trout for me.

The model Agyness Deyn is playing Chris and Terence Davies is the director. Looking forward to this. Terence Davies made "House of Mirth", a great film IMO.

I liked the message being carried across the Universe ...  Even when the carrier read it, he kept going.

Kilgore Trout was based on Theodore Sturgeon ...Alex Salmond...Nicola Sturgeon...Kilgore Trout would make a good leader of the SNP.

I vaguely remember a scots quare being on tv..it was well received bbc jockland did it.

That's very unsettling Vel.  How did I miss that?

I liked GILGONGO! about the people celebrating after wiping out a darling species of panda bears in a non-gulty way...

It's difficult to get hold of the old bbc series - not sure it's worth £35 or whatever.

just read the house with the green shutters...you will love it.

Do you think Douglas Adams just ripped off Kilgore Trout stories?

Ok - I will, Sofia - I am currently reading an Emile Zola book on the recommendation of Tony Broke.

I am not familiar with his work so I can't say..time for bed.nite nite.

Good night. What time is it in Monrovia, Bodil?

Sleep well kenny - surprising how much we have in common?

It's always party time in Monrovia, Vel.

I will type GOODNIGHT 2 u 2 Bodil as the *GYN* is taking a fierce toll - would you be interested in buying some value MELEE WEAPONS? I am issuing a catalogue soon, due to the increasing civil disorder potential. Fook knows what it is like in Monrovia and Zwickau this time of year.

MELEE WEAPONS -- are ye interested...?

AYE or NAW??

My brother's an antique dealer. I have more than enough weapons of local destruction to pick from - including some the French tried to ban for being too vicious.

But thank you for asking.  Sooner or later we will all be at one end or the other of them.

I take it that's an emphatic MAYBE.

Goodnight!

My TRIUMPH is that I did not let ye BULLY me in to chatting about the VITAL SPARK !

Ps - Ask your brother about ANDRE CHARLES BOULLE...

A kinder, gentler time ...

Sleep well you space cadets, all!

I once knew a man who bought a Boulle cabinet at auction for £10,000 and sold it one hour later for £120,000..........that man was..........

NOT me!!

Sweet Fack All?
Sweet Fanny Adams?
Sex For Afters?

Shh, Vel - my brother's main problem is medieval Arabian brass bowls.  Apparently the Qataris have bought every one they want.  He has every two and three.  Some of my late father's creations have sold for several thousands at Sotheby's and Christies's - all too long ago. 

We all need something to keep going.  Or something to kill the people who wont keep us going.  \or ...

I'm sorry - I can't talk to you - you ruffian - as I've just logged out. So anything that you come up with - and let's face it, it's bound to be feckin' CRUDE - is null and void. By the way, I am against CRUDITY and CRUDENESS.

You think you're Carlos Monzon, dontcha!! But you're FOOKIN' knot! I hope I don't meet you in a dark alley cos I would sort you out - make no mistake - with a choice MELEE WEAPON.

I'm sorry, Bodil - that was aimed at Call Me a Taxi - not you, Bodil. He thinks he's Carlos Monzon but falls short of that fellow's combat skills -- for sure... Yeah - he's no Carlos Monzon in my eyes.

Here we were talking about culture, yeah? ARAB culture and fine French cabinets and the kind of melee weapons Robespierre or Marat might have used...yeah, culture from mythic places like Slamannan, Monrovia and Zwickau, and then this giant wombat's ar$e appears to whip up trouble. Carlos Monzon? You couldn't even clean his jockstrap with limited edition Domestos. You're no Carlos Monzon, pal - no Carlos Monzon at all. As the Esperantans say, you are nnnnothing -- nnnnothing but an unlovia UKlonite plonker...and that is a long way from the heights reached by Carlos Monzon my friend.

I agree with Vel, even though I've not bothered to google Carlos Monzon

My arms way more than Carlos Monzon.

Two weighs to speel way.

Well it's about time you weighed in, pal, 'cause you

What happened there? What happened?? Did you do that? Did you? Even if you did, you are no Carlos Monzon.