Guess what I need now?

Glasses?

A nostril/ear hair trimmer?

You need a cat to calm you down.

.

The boy crags got it straight away. I need reading glasses, I was struggling to read my book on the way home on the train the other day and I was sober as well. It's all downhill from here

How did you know that crags by the way? Uncanny.

I'll never have an nasal trimmer Toes, I rip them out with a pair of industrial pliers.

I was about your age when I needed them, Slippy 

I had two weeks on the raz in Spain HH, recharging my batteries. I was watching Wolverhampton and the doggie channel tonight. Have got the boxing on now old stick.

Did I,nahhh.

Boxing, is it Groves toniht?

4-9 on answer is somewhere above

Slippy, I made the mistake of spending a lot of dosh in an opticians. Glasses lasted a few weeks before I stepped on them and smashed them.

Just go to the market now and get a pair of magnifying glasses for a few quid.You'll find it best to get a few pairs as it's easier to have them in various places like, lounge, bathroom, bedroom, car etc.

you'll look the business in them slippy.

IMAGINE all the women

what about dennis taylor ones? If they fall down yr nose you will still be able to see out of half of them

Get your eyes tested properly.  You may need a different lens for each eye, like me, and they can be expensive.

They can spot other stuff as well. I have early stage cataracts in both eyes, but it's no big deal these days. 

Only a clumsy facker like crags would break his glasses by treading on them....imo.

I agree with CMAT.

Get a proper eye test Slippy.

Don't just 'make do' with cheap things you can buy from various outlets.

I had an eye test for the first time since I'd left school last year - upon which reading glasses were advised.

I've never even used them once, as I've had no need to - and I paid about £120 for them.

I had/have glaucoma which was diagnosed at the eye test (I already knew there was a fair possibility of it because my brother had it) but wasn't correctly treated for the condition for 2 months after my eye test due to 'Doctor Bloody Quack' delaying my appointment to see a proper opthalmologist - and I also have Meniere's - which I only received the appropriate medication for from 'Doctor Bloody Quack' about 2 weeks before my eye test (another condition which can really affect your eyesight).

Once the appropriate medication for the Glaucoma and the Meniere's was prescribed my eye sight was restored to about 98% of the 100% perfect eyesight it always has been.

99.9% of opticians would advise glasses when you went to (see) them.

Just like dentists who if ye listened to them, thy would have been walking around like Les Dawson..

Funnily enough, I had a letter from Specsavers just yesterday to tell me how it was almost 12 months since my last eye test and how imperative it was that I should have another.

The letter was ripped up and put straight in the bin.

If you do have Glaucoma, Slippy, you have to see an opthalmologist - for free - at either a hospital or a clinic at intervals of whatever they advise where they do a 'field test' and check the pressures of your eyeballs.

I remember the very first time I went to the clinic I was sent to after my initial eye test at Specsavers whereby they carried out the eye chart test and asked me to read whatever was the most comfortable line on it to see.

I read out the very bottom line as easy as pie.

When I'd had the eye test in Specsavers I'd got one of the letters wrong on the bottom line in one eye - but their eye chart was about 1 foot further distant to where the 'proper' opthalmologist had their's placed.

Profiteering, Thatcherite scumbags?

Now why does that spring to mind...

They're all

If you're going for varifocals, make sure you position everything - test and post - in the same place.  They do give you more freedom than fixed lenses re dropping off the end of your nose.