WRITING SONGS.

No. But well done you

Just lyrics, for me

I'm more Bernie Taupin than Elton John. Fair play to those that can be both.

Yes, the chorus goes, "T1tty woman, I like your style - I like your stuff."

Sounds a bit poor to me, pal. Good luck with it though.

youtube it mate nice change from beheadings.

It's a ballad.

I have but not to music, unfortunately do not have a musical bone in my body, but lyrically wrote quite a few whilst in my college days

Yeah, me too, Scandi Haven -- at school, we wrote a song about the Grand National :

Oh why must men and horses die
To satisfy...

Limerick Mick threatened us with violence

Just because he didn't agree with the sentiment of the song...

One of mine was about slashing your wrists, it was called Sweet Red Escape. Was aimed at the Goth market

Did erse write blowing in the wind?
Or
Pump it up

dumped it

Crags, are you Richey?

He's presumed dead is he not? So, no

Write one hit song, have it copywrited and sold to a big label and you are set for life off the back of the royalties, I think though, there is an exclusive writing club, a select group of prolific professional song writers that the big labels go to, to ask to write a song for a specific artist, cathy Dennis being one.

Yeah but, if you're him, then he's not. Have you checked?

Yes, I was checking that I had the right Richey

That Mungo Jerry guy who wrote "In the Summertime" must be minted. It never goes out of fashion. It's currently in an advert. I was hoping that "Titty Woman" could be used by Berlei or Michelle Mone's bra conglomerate. Would love to score an ad. $$££$£$££

My apologies - I meant RICHIE - Richie Havens.

He's definitely dead and would never come up with something like Sweet Red Escape.

You've made a fool of yourself

Is that the first draft? think you might need to tweak it a bit.

How's about:

T1tty woman,
Walking down the street,
T1tty woman,
The kind I'd like to meet,
T1tty woman,
I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could have T1ts as big as you

... something like that set to a catchy tune?

Clouseau, I have to admit that is actually better than my own version. I feel like Salieri in the presence of Mozart.

Hold on - that is a bit ripped off from Roy Morbison, is it not??

As I say, tweak it a bit and no-one will notice:

T1tty woman,
From the Stobart fleet,
T1tty woman,
Off to deliver meat,
T1tty woman,
You drive a lorry, you've only got one tooth
No bloke should have T1ts as big as you

Crags - he did SUGARPLUMS which are SWEET and SORT OF DARK RED...also, he dreamed that he wrote it when running away (i.e. ESCAPING) from jail...so, in point of fact, I am basically spot on and you must now feel like a total jam doughnut

Ffs Clouseau!! This is a tender ballad NOT a Black Lace travesty of a song!!

I've got lyrics that I started a few weeks ago, but just for fun.
It goes to the wonderful tune of Sir Paul's Mull of Kintyre. It's called Custom House Park. I'll put it on here one day.

I write songs, vel. There's a 'quarter' of a song on youtube - a tribute to phil ochs. prob is I cant re-record it and it'd sound terrible if I just appeared on my laptop in front of the camera, I haven't the recording equipment to do song justice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QHiwDEfzUY

Loads.

I'm proudest of "Here comes the cat food utensil" because everyone automaticaly thinks "spoon", but it turns out to be a fork!

Hundreds. Went to music college and been in a number of bands.

Mainly this sort of thing these days:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjcbCq2xta4

Nice, Tony.

Four Foot Fez quite Syd-like.

I can write (well, make up and put together) the music, but am not very good at lyrics.
Hence my only efforts so far being instrumental.

It's quite rewarding when you put a tune together and can sing (hum) it to yourself later.

Thank you Vel

Four Foot Fez...Full Fathom Five...

"Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes;
Nothing of him that doth fade,
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell:
Ding-dong.
Hark! now I hear them — Ding-dong, bell."

Shakey

Oh Flo
I Love you so
Especially in yer Nightie

So don't be shy
when I come by
Lie back and think of Blighty.

Yeah, this is goin' places...

I thought the next three lines should go along the lines of

When the Moonlight Flits
Across yer T its
Jesus Christ almighty....

That's just crude

Shouldn't you update your name, Zilzal you bassa, nobody even remembers that horse anymore...

Oh Vela
yer so stellar
Even when you Cough

I'll send you some Vicks
and a box of tricks

And a Photo of Richard Gough....

Hee hee...Imran Ahmed won his case against Rangers today - the appeal is on Monday.

Says he who's name is a wee bit Older...... Ya Bampot....


Away and raffle yer Donut...

If you do get independence then there will be some confused bears around....

No way - there's ALWAYS some kwalitee jockey in America called Velasquez...name never goes out of fashion...how would Zilzal fare against Kingman on good ground...?

Yeah - it means that the Union Jack will be a foreign flag...just like the Irish tricolour that flies at Celtic Park.

Hard to say, may be biased but imo only Frankel, Northjet and the Brig would beat Zilzal on g/f though

Is it you who goes on about Northjet on the racing forum...

But surely they'll have no Queen to sing aboot.. might as well forget about the whole thing and get Blootered instead.

Oh Hang on

No, havent been on there for Ages..... hows your luck been this year?/

I seriously thought Polish Precedent would beat Zilzal easily. I remember being shocked at that race. I did back Steinlen in America, though, when Zilzal was murdered by the tight turns.

El Gran Senor

I was at Ascot that Day, Polish had murdered the field in the Jack Marious(or whatever its called)

El Gran Senor would have been very close though, that was a Golden Guineas

Gulfstream Park..AKA Crayford by the sea

York was dire - couldn't back a winner until the Ebor where I had the forecast. The exacta paid about 100 quid more Sheer greed. That bailed me out.

Trained by Johnny Murtagh and a 5lbs apprentice, fairly high draws...if you go back to the start of the season, they were tipping up Van Percy for the Ebor after he won at Newmarket, yet no-one was talking about him on the day.

Even so, it's been a rubbish season - just find it hard to get enthusiastic about racing, post-Frankel and post-Cecil. We've kinda seen it all.

Camelot blah blah blah...Australia blah blah blah...

Sheet Vela, unlike you to be that down... shaping up to be a good Arc.. Breeders Cup

G-Force wins tomorrow imo... Lawmans Thunder/Munasab cast... Days Of Conquest in the 1st   

Tomorrow's racing is poor - I'm backing Scotland to beat Germany at 20/1...

And why not??

More water with it...

Those bl00dy Paddy P00er horses have done my nut in this year as they always get up in the last 0.0001 second to deny me a good payout...hate the feckers with an irrational passion...POWER this an' POWER that -- imagine owning two of the feckers -- !!

I can't even tell the difference between them anymore - they probably just apply a wee bit of shoe whiting here and there. It's clearly the same horse.

Ive asked your compatriots, chvrches, if I can strum along to one of their songs, recover, when they play in Liverpool, they actually put a 'like' on this on facebook! U never know, why bother with haunting synths when you have a guitar version!

e minor...and if I recover.....
c ....will you be my comfort?
D   ....etc...

Re : haunting synths -- have you heard La Ritournelle by Sebastian Tellier, Tony? Only heard it a few weeks ago, though it was out circa 2004. I think it was Brendan UK who posted a brilliant drum version too.

no, but ill look it up on youtube?? btw of course I don't watch chvrches videos because of lauren mayberry - honest.

There's a church near me that only plays music by the human voice alone -- a bit extreme, but Gaelic churches have a tradition of doing that too...and Georgian choirs, etc...

well they only put the roman 'v' in their band name so that people would get them in searches and not actual buildings!

I like taize music vel - have you listened to that?

Tony - what is it? Never heard of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oduCbdxA4yo -- drum cover of La Ritournelle -- ta, Brendan UK aka BRANDON 14

Taize --> French!

v good!   never heard that before. Taize cant be summed up in a few words but...it's like a community in france. People from all walks of life go there, there are monks etc but it's also open to members of the public..the songs/chants are very different to the usual stuff you hear in churches.They often take turns, swap languages etc.
Here's one example.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwRMT2_pi9c

I need to feel the peace, when im losing!!

Might as well go the full bhoona here with Mahler's Resurrection Symphony and Bach's Passion of St. Matthew!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPAiH9XhTHc

Julia Hamari - Erbarme Dich - this is the music used by Tarkovsky...must have posted it a few times over the years...

all good....ah well, one day I might have me own bedroom music studio! Unless chvrches need a guitar player...

Well done Zilzal - can I subscribe to yer service? It's ALL goin' on tae Scotland noo...

Hic...ye hiv...hic...put the sword tae thay POWERfeckers hic

Very funny Vel!

- and very well done Zilzal.

The dreem continues Tommy Toes...if Stoge kin beet Citeh then...hic...bshaabi...schcodlund...bosch...hic

They CAN, VEL!

U drunk as well Tommy?

haha!

Tommy son...ye need tae...hic...ye need tae line yer stomach son...wi'...hic...don't be a daft drinker...hic...line yer stomach wi' a few packs a'tunnox tea cakes...hic...stay classy...experience son...experience counts - hic - fer a lot in thas game.

hehe! If Charlie Adam is playing for Scotland he'll have scoffed the consignment of Tunnocks Tea Cakes for the whole Scottish squad!

greedy bassa...leeve sum fur the wee tea wummin

At least you wont have to hide in the karsie when its yer round tonight

BTW Zilzal - there was a big mad tear up in Castlemilk today. I found out about it on a football forum and Facebook :

"Bit of a distasteful incident in castlemilk drive today with a republican march clashing with protesters from a loyalist group...

traffic was stopped for hours as the police were out in huge numbers with horses, dogs and the helicopter struggling to contain the chaos

no need for this kind of nonsense in 2014 no matter what side you are on... at the very least there is a time and a place and a busy Castlemilk drive isn't one of them."

Ah Memories of Evelyn and 1982

You'd think people in the 21st century might have realised that its all a load of old cobblers by now

Exactly.