Things that are interesting when they happen to somebody else - but you're glad it's not you

Genital warts.

Nervous breakdowns

1.01 money buyers when it gets chinned.

^^^ Like yesterday. 

Buyers lumped on my selection for a place in running, and were still shovelling it on when it hit 1.1,  then it got down to 1.01 and was all snapped up.

I was happy as I had backed it at 1.56.

It was 4th ffs.

Not a nose, or a sht hd, or a hd, or a neck, but nigh on 2 lengths behind the 3rd.

What the fack were these people backing it for, and because they wiped out all the layers offers, I didn't bother taking my stake back as I was convinced it was in the frame.

Tuesday again,my absolute bok day, and that was my only bet all day.

When someone crashes their new BMW car you tell them you are sorry for their bad luck,but that's not what you say when talking to someone else about it.