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07 Jul 14
01:56
Joined:
Date Joined:
02 Oct 03
Our dog lies on the sofa and stares into space.
I often wonder what she's thinking about.
In the garden she will only bark at and chase pigeons.
All the others, blackbirds, thrushes, sparrows, our resident robin, and even doves, are completely ignored.
Why?
She knows when Mrs CMAT is going to take her for a walk, five minutes before it's going to happen, even before Mrs CMAT gets her coat or lead out.
It's never the same times each day, so how does she know?
When she's upstairs in this room with me, she can hear, but can't see, cars, but only goes downstairs when Mrs CMAT is coming down the road in her car, before she's even at the end of the road. The woman two houses away on the other side of the road has the same model car, but the dog never goes downstairs when she comes down the road.
Are her lug'oles tuned to Mrs CMATs engine?
When walking along with Mrs CMAT she ignores cars, unless she hears the father-in-laws car come along the road behind her, then without turning round, she'll stop and sit on the kerb, because she knows he'll stop, get out of his car and stroke her. We don't get many cars down our road, but she has never sat down for the wrong car.
I'm convinced she can count to 10.
She dives under the duvet in the mornings, and it moves like the ground does in the film 'Tremors'.
I started to say to her 'You've got up to 10 to stop moving.' and it usdd to last up to 20 seconds until she settled down.
Now, a few weeks later, no matter where she is under the duvet, and it's still moving, when I get to 10, she stops moving immediately and lies down.
All this puzzles me as it's the first dog we've ever owned.
I often wonder what she's thinking about.
In the garden she will only bark at and chase pigeons.
All the others, blackbirds, thrushes, sparrows, our resident robin, and even doves, are completely ignored.
Why?
She knows when Mrs CMAT is going to take her for a walk, five minutes before it's going to happen, even before Mrs CMAT gets her coat or lead out.
It's never the same times each day, so how does she know?
When she's upstairs in this room with me, she can hear, but can't see, cars, but only goes downstairs when Mrs CMAT is coming down the road in her car, before she's even at the end of the road. The woman two houses away on the other side of the road has the same model car, but the dog never goes downstairs when she comes down the road.
Are her lug'oles tuned to Mrs CMATs engine?
When walking along with Mrs CMAT she ignores cars, unless she hears the father-in-laws car come along the road behind her, then without turning round, she'll stop and sit on the kerb, because she knows he'll stop, get out of his car and stroke her. We don't get many cars down our road, but she has never sat down for the wrong car.
I'm convinced she can count to 10.
She dives under the duvet in the mornings, and it moves like the ground does in the film 'Tremors'.
I started to say to her 'You've got up to 10 to stop moving.' and it usdd to last up to 20 seconds until she settled down.
Now, a few weeks later, no matter where she is under the duvet, and it's still moving, when I get to 10, she stops moving immediately and lies down.
All this puzzles me as it's the first dog we've ever owned.
Show More
The dog is on the sofa and in the bed? It is a dog. It operates best as a dog. It is happiest as a dog.
My dog can be very badly behaved. She once fouled the carpet. I kicked her up the arse and she made a bolt for the door.
If they are so clever why does a greyhound chase a fake hare over and over that it can never catch ?
Dog wants to know when your going to paint the fcking celing..............
They observe your every move. Watch them watching you.
They do indeed Shane, my dog is a smart cookie. He doesn't miss a trick.
All my dog wants is cuddles and food, hes like a little baby. If a stranger comes into the house he headbutts them.
Mine is a softie. If the window cleaner comes round he goes mental and wants to kill him
He`s been sat in front of the fridge just staring at it because we have half of yesterday`s chicken left in it.
In Dulwich Park my muttley is a babe magnet, he does much better than me anyway which isn't saying a great deal though to be fair.
I know exactly what you mean. I even get young women talking to me, without Mutley they wouldn`t even glance my way Ahhh, he`s beautiful, ahhh, what is he
Ahhh, he`s beautiful, ahhh, what is he
I don't have that problem as mine wear braces and Doc Martins
I've often wondered why my dog humps my lower leg when my schlong is only a matter of inches away
A skin head dog 
You don`t see many skins now days do you?
You don`t see many skins now days do you?
I never even bought him Shane I got lumbered with him, my niece got him as a pup and her partner was allergic to dogs so she said can I look after him for awhile. Two years later he is running the house He's a greedy beggar though, he even eats olives and loves cabbage.
He's a greedy beggar though, he even eats olives and loves cabbage.
Mine is the opposite in terms of cars. Mine goes mad everytime she hears one the same as my missus'!
I've always had dogs B-B but usually greyhounds, the house is never the same without one.
Mine is a Pomeranian
He has got papers and everything though.
Mine is a Pomeranian
He has got papers and everything though.
Come on then, I've fessed up to having the gayest breed ever, what have you all got?
At last, a proper doggie.
Mine eats moles, birds, anything he can catch tbh..
Mine eats moles, birds, anything he can catch tbh..
Shar Pei. Likes a pint as well. Haven't tried him on Tsingtao yet though..
Oh Christ Shane, I don't feel to embarrassed about my Pom confession now
I walk a border collie b1tch for a friend. She's a bit of a goer! And so is the b1tch! Friends have a cockapoo (cocker spaniel/poodle cross).
Sometimes his juices come out on my lap if he gets overexcited. The smell is horrific.
I had a Border Collie Cobblaz, he was a lovely dog but he got terrible arthritis at an early age and didn't make old bones 
The vet said he was close bred and it was not uncommon in that breed.
The vet said he was close bred and it was not uncommon in that breed.
Not sure which way round, but one of her parents is a Cocker Spaniel & Poodle cross, and the other parent is a King Charles Spaniel & Chihuahua cross.
She was my eldest daughter's dog, but her new landlord doesn't allow pets, and Mrs CMAT stepped in last xmas, and we brought her home.
Posing
.
http://i57.tinypic.com/jrraxk.jpg
Watchewlookin' at
.
http://i59.tinypic.com/28gs0p3.jpg
Sound asleep after a long walk and a game of ball
.
http://i61.tinypic.com/2e698vt.jpg
She was my eldest daughter's dog, but her new landlord doesn't allow pets, and Mrs CMAT stepped in last xmas, and we brought her home.
Posing
.
http://i57.tinypic.com/jrraxk.jpg
Watchewlookin' at
.
http://i59.tinypic.com/28gs0p3.jpg
Sound asleep after a long walk and a game of ball
.
http://i61.tinypic.com/2e698vt.jpg
Call Me A Taxi - Can you please ask your dog who is going to score the first goal in Germany match against Brazil and what the correct score will be? tia. 
RickiBobby 07 Jul 14 22:12 Joined: 04 Dec 11 | Topic/replies: 552 | Blogger: RickiBobby's blog
Sometimes his juices come out on my lap if he gets overexcited. The smell is horrific.
Seriously, if the smell is horrific, his an@l gland needs emptying. It's a repository for poisonous gunk, and if it fills to bursting point, it causes all sorts of discomfort, bad behaviour, physical problems etc. The only way they can relieve it is by rubbing it, sometimes by "scooting" or, in your case by rubbing himself against your lap. This is the "overexcitement".
It's a job you can DIY, but it's well worth paying a vet to do it. It won't take more than a few seconds, so won't cost much.
You'll have a much calmer and happier hound.
Sometimes his juices come out on my lap if he gets overexcited. The smell is horrific.
Seriously, if the smell is horrific, his an@l gland needs emptying. It's a repository for poisonous gunk, and if it fills to bursting point, it causes all sorts of discomfort, bad behaviour, physical problems etc. The only way they can relieve it is by rubbing it, sometimes by "scooting" or, in your case by rubbing himself against your lap. This is the "overexcitement".
It's a job you can DIY, but it's well worth paying a vet to do it. It won't take more than a few seconds, so won't cost much.
You'll have a much calmer and happier hound.
I'm sure for the standard fee any doctor, male or female, would allow you to take down your trousers, sit on their lap and have your anu$ squeezed for a few seconds. However, as our an@l glands are set into the walls of our back passages, there isn't actually any little bag to squeeze empty like you get in a dog or a cat.
Again, seriously, if you have a dog or cat that rubs itself or sh1ts in the wrong place or is bad-tempered or biting itself, ask the vet to do this job.
Again, seriously, if you have a dog or cat that rubs itself or sh1ts in the wrong place or is bad-tempered or biting itself, ask the vet to do this job.
themightymac
08 Jul 14 00:56
Call Me A Taxi - Can you please ask your dog who is going to score the first goal in Germany match against Brazil and what the correct score will be? tia.
She has ner nose in the stats now.
08 Jul 14 00:56
Call Me A Taxi - Can you please ask your dog who is going to score the first goal in Germany match against Brazil and what the correct score will be? tia.
She has ner nose in the stats now.
Lady Dog has made her selections.
In an all out first half attack, Paulhino scores the first goal around the 20 minute mark.
She says there will be an equaliser in the first quarter of the second half, but she can't name the player.
End result: 1-1 draw
Having been alone in a spare room for most of the day, Lady Dog refuses to divulge her inscrutable selection methods.
But if this match turns out to be correct, you can ask nicely for the Argentina v Netherlands selections.
Lady Dog is now resting.
.
http://i61.tinypic.com/e8ka3k.jpg
In an all out first half attack, Paulhino scores the first goal around the 20 minute mark.
She says there will be an equaliser in the first quarter of the second half, but she can't name the player.
End result: 1-1 draw
Having been alone in a spare room for most of the day, Lady Dog refuses to divulge her inscrutable selection methods.
But if this match turns out to be correct, you can ask nicely for the Argentina v Netherlands selections.
Lady Dog is now resting.
.
http://i61.tinypic.com/e8ka3k.jpg
Muttley pulled again in the park today, this time a blonde.
"Oh he just loves blonde women, I don't know where he gets it from."
Tomorrow it might be a brunette.
"Oh he just loves brunette women, I don't know where he gets it from."
I draw the line at gingers though.
"Oh he just loves blonde women, I don't know where he gets it from."
Tomorrow it might be a brunette.
"Oh he just loves brunette women, I don't know where he gets it from."
I draw the line at gingers though.
I draw the line at gingers though.
But not no-necked prop forwards though, eh?
But not no-necked prop forwards though, eh?
Letitia is lovely you rotter and I read recently that she has given up eating chocolate eclairs so is a bit more streamlined these days 
Well 18st props instead of 21st props, still doesn't do it for me i'm afraid ol bean..
Thanks Tommy.
Daughters can't believe I've become a pet lover 'Gone soft in your old age, dad.'
'Old'...ffs.
Daughters can't believe I've become a pet lover 'Gone soft in your old age, dad.'
'Old'...ffs.
It's great to see how you've taken to your first ever dog though. I've had them since I was a kid so know how they get to your heart but in the past I know you never had much time for them, so it's excellent to know how their magic works on almost everyone.
They knock cats into a c0cked hat.
They knock cats into a c0cked hat.
Ideal way of getting phone numbers. I've taught mine never to pass any woman without plonking herself down in front of her and begging for treats. Just hand women a biscuit and the dog soon learns.
Then some barefaced lie along the lines of "She must really like you. She's never usually like this with strangers, etc." After a couple of accidental encounters plenty will take a photo of this special friend they've made.
"Hey! That's a great picture! Would you mind sending it to my phone, please?"
As it happens, it's a complete waste of time with me, as I'm deaf and can barely understand a word women say, but it's an amusing exercise.
Then some barefaced lie along the lines of "She must really like you. She's never usually like this with strangers, etc." After a couple of accidental encounters plenty will take a photo of this special friend they've made.
"Hey! That's a great picture! Would you mind sending it to my phone, please?"
As it happens, it's a complete waste of time with me, as I'm deaf and can barely understand a word women say, but it's an amusing exercise.
Jul 8, 2014 -- 1:49PM, screaming from beneaththewaves wrote:
Ideal way of getting phone numbers. I've taught mine never to pass any woman without plonking herself down in front of her and begging for treats. Just hand women a biscuit and the dog soon learns.Then some barefaced lie along the lines of "She must really like you. She's never usually like this with strangers, etc." After a couple of accidental encounters plenty will take a photo of this special friend they've made. "Hey! That's a great picture! Would you mind sending it to my phone, please?"As it happens, it's a complete waste of time with me, as I'm deaf and can barely understand a word women say, but it's an amusing exercise.
"She must really like you. She's never usually like this with strangers, etc" That line is always a winner.
Love your dog by the way screaming. I point Muttley in the direction of a nice sort in the park and just say "fetch". He runs over and jumps all over them. That's my boy.
Lovely dog you have Mr Screaming. I believe it is a Shetland Sheepdog or is it a Collie?
Tommy Toes
08 Jul 14 19:46
It's great to see how you've taken to your first ever dog though. I've had them since I was a kid so know how they get to your heart but in the past I know you never had much time for them, so it's excellent to know how their magic works on almost everyone.
They knock cats into a c0cked hat.
I have a folder of photos under 'Family' on my PC. Then sub-folders for different members. 'Dopey Dog' has her own folder, and it has over 20 photos in it. Needs updating, about 10 on my phone and 6 or 7 on the PC not put into the folder yet.
08 Jul 14 19:46
It's great to see how you've taken to your first ever dog though. I've had them since I was a kid so know how they get to your heart but in the past I know you never had much time for them, so it's excellent to know how their magic works on almost everyone.
They knock cats into a c0cked hat.
I have a folder of photos under 'Family' on my PC. Then sub-folders for different members. 'Dopey Dog' has her own folder, and it has over 20 photos in it. Needs updating, about 10 on my phone and 6 or 7 on the PC not put into the folder yet.
nice photos BB and CMAT. Is he a Labrador BB?
CMAT, your dog is very clever but he`s losing his marbles if he thinks Paulinho will score. He couldn`t score in a brothel
CMAT, your dog is very clever but he`s losing his marbles if he thinks Paulinho will score. He couldn`t score in a brothel
he's a staffs bull terrier mac that was taken when he was 3 about 8 years ago
I thought if not a Labrador he might be a Staffy, but hard to tell from photo what size he is. Very lab like head. Lovely dog BB.
Very happy looking dog BB. That photo really cheered me up after reading yesterday about that poor little dog at that hotel in Cyprus. IMO, they should hang the b*******.
Don`t know what happened in Cyprus, don`t want to either but yes, hang the ****s
he's a soft dog but with the bad press they get you can see people avoid him
Shanelee, you don`t want to know mate, it ruined my day reading it and that`s why no link to story posted. scum they are.
BB, staffies are very loving dogs but get bad press like you say. It`s all down to owners mate.
Lady Dog has retired from the tipping business.
Watch out for Ivan, the Russian Hamster.
Watch out for Ivan, the Russian Hamster.
cracking dog BB
mate has a 'blue' staffie aint met a more gentle dog in my life, walks everywhere off the lead by his side. nothing seems to bother her.
i have a lab , and well he's a nutter
mate has a 'blue' staffie aint met a more gentle dog in my life, walks everywhere off the lead by his side. nothing seems to bother her.
i have a lab , and well he's a nutter
Muttley loves the woods.
[ This image is no longer available. ]
[ This image is no longer available. ]
this was when he was 8 weeks old alongside a 12" ruler
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[ This image is no longer available. ]
Dog - God backward. Not met a bad dog, sometimes you meet one that has a bad owner that mistreats 'em. Makes them snappy.
People that treat dogs as if they are other animals are idiots that believe mankind are way above everything else in the universe. Just because they don't drive tanks in battles does not make them inferior.
People that treat dogs as if they are other animals are idiots that believe mankind are way above everything else in the universe. Just because they don't drive tanks in battles does not make them inferior.
Why should mistreating a dog make it snappy?
Before the hand-wringers get their punching gloves on. I'm not suggesting that you should mistreat any animal.
Phew - that was a close one. I almost left myself open there.
Before the hand-wringers get their punching gloves on. I'm not suggesting that you should mistreat any animal.
Phew - that was a close one. I almost left myself open there.
Lovely dogs B-B and egg. My nutjob had a run in with a Cocker Spaniel a bit earlier who was 6 times his size. He got flattened while they were playing and took great umbridge at that and started steaming in to protect himself. No babes today though which was a little bit disappointing.
Wonder why my dog does certain things? I don't even wonder why my wife does certain things.
Although if my tongue could reach I'd lick my own balls as well.
I was a good at maths, geography and economics, spelling was never a strong point. 
spellingandgrammarchecker will have you for that error.
He will no doubt. Hope you will be ok mate, that was very upsetting to me to see you in the wars.
Of course you are a survivor, we both are and that's a given. Thanks bud.
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