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19 May 14
18:57
Joined:
Date Joined:
19 Nov 11
Happened to me this morning, but then luckily a UKIP leaflet popped through the letterbox and saved the day 
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Your letterbox is next to your kazi?
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no, the kazi is next to the letterbox
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How annoying is it when somebody is watching you have a crap through your letterbox
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But do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
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no, the kazi is next to the letterbox
Where is the bidet, in the living room next to the telly? |
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by the fridge
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Fair enough.
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The following is the order when running out:
Kitchen Roll Newspaper Flyers/A4 Paper Undercrackers or socks (public) Cardboard Tube Shower (Home) |
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Pack of 18 very nice soft ply available at the pound shops
Bought some the other day No real excuse for running out these days |
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How much did it cost?
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£2, a quid for the paper and a quid for the nail brush to get the sh1t off his fingers
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Surprisingly good quality in fact.
Was in a pound shop. Cost a pound. Absdlute bargain |
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UKIP leaflet is free
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I used to pick my nose and wipe the bogeys on the eyes of photos of Mad Maggie in the papers.
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Best you don't meet my mate who wrote her speeches.
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silly me thought this may be a serious post.
i was gonna say no, cos i never run out. always have a spare one next to the crapper for such abruptly ending toilet roll eventualities. i would use a ukip leaflet, would spread it around your bum like nutella |
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Why is it always a hot sticky tar poo when the loo roll runs out? Never a ghost poo.
And why do Lincoln Logs that refuse to flush away always happen at other peoples houses? |
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Here I sat in mystic vapour.
Some daft t1t had nicked the paper. Time was short, I could not linger. 'Fraid I had to use my UKIP leaflet. |
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smooth stones
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ffs sfbtw
that doesn't even scan  |
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bristol_stool_scale
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In days of old
when knights were bold and bog paper wasn't invented you wiped your arse on a lump of grass and walked away contented. One of my grandads nursery rhymes when I was a kid. |