Most unfunny comedian ever.

Gaffer?

loads of them.... rancid carr chap for me

wit-ham, tuther brand
with monkey
not sure which is the less talented tbh

Johnny Vegas you mean dusty

Sean Walsh for me utterly horendous

That Lemon tawt thinks he's funny.

thats right S+C about as amusing as a blood clot

Kenny you'd have been better having a voting system with a list

technically you've already decided that 3 are the single unfuniest

lee evans.lenny henry

Russell Howard a truly shocking omission

virtually all of them apart from lee mack, who is brilliant at stand up but **** at acting and panel games

oh gawd, whose awful idea was it to just pick one?

Well you have to allow two here......Mike and Bernie (with or without the ****ing dog)!

This is a betting without Sarah Millican market I take it.

Lots to choose from but how lee Hurst ever got away with it will always remain a mystery to me.

I agree with every name listed. Must be the easiest career path in the world.

ross noble cant stand him

stephen k amos

end of thread

xmoneyx 16 Nov 13 14:31 
lee evans.lenny henry

Evans is funny. Henry isn't.

Lenny Henry is to comedy what Garth Crooks is to football punditry.

Roy 'Chubby' Brown must be up there

Shappi whatever her name is, its like she's wona competition to ahve a go at doing stand up

Early Eddie Izzard was hilarious. Izzard from the past 7 years or so is just rubbish.

Alos Paul Merton on HIGNFY, needs to be pensioned off, WELL past his best.

freddie starr , sarah millican a close 2nd

Stewart Lee doesn't even tell jokes. Fortunately Gary Wilmot was banned from performing comedy in the early 90's.

BlazingWalker     16 Nov 13 13:16 
By a mile Phil Jupitus and in second place Eddie Izzard.

2 for the price of 1: Phill Jupitus doing an impression of Eddie Izzard
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKWBEn2vMtE

I can visualize one from years ago but can't remember his name. Slither was his catchphrase. The worst ever. Can anyone remember him from his catchphrase?

Roy Jay RIP

Frank Skinner........ I panic if the remote isn't close at hand in case he contaminates my sitting-room. Not only do I not find him funny, its the irritation that goes along with it.

Millican and McIntyre goes without saying. Also Dara Ó Briain errrrrrrr.

I've lead a sheltered life an must say I feel fortunate to never having seen McIntyre!

Just the sight of him, and his seriously aggravating warbling voice, when seen on BGT, or whatever it was,
was far too much for me!

The thought of making a pilgrimage, and then having to pay to see him......no thank you!

*and

Michael McIntyre spoon feeding his audience with warm diarrhea.

McIntyre wins by a distance. Couldn`t lace Bernard Manning`s boots.

Bread and condensed milk

moving on to movies, ben stiller and adam sandler. theyve both been in funny movies, but mainly by luck.

millions still obeying their conditioning still laugh at paul Merton, not noticing his single idea dried up years ago

tbf paul merton was great in the earlier years of hignfy. but he and the show as a whole as got staler than a loaf of bread thats been left to go stale. nuttin wrong with the format, though it is very hit and miss depending on who the presenter is. merton has lost it though. he barely gets a funny line in anymore.

Russell Howard and also that Irish bloke with long hair and glasses - can't think of his name.

I don't mind that Merton isn't funny so much as I take offence at the stupidity of people who hav'nt noticed he's not funny anymore

Although he did one of the funniest routines I  have heard for years when he first found fame Rhod Gilbert hasn't managed to raise a laugh since. He's crap. But his million candle power torch/duvet buying routine was hilarious.

Watching  Chris Rock right now. He is funny.

When I opend this thread I was optimistically hoping that Jupitus was mentioned - joy unconfined when he was the first name mentioned - the only reason that he isn't more widely despised is that he barely does stand up anymore, presumably on the basis that no-one will book a fat prick that isn't funny.

surprised to see Skinner mentioned but its an opinion game when all said and done

My worst 5 for what its worth

Jupitus
Evans (when 4 year olds run around they are indulged, this cretin is touching 50)
Noble
Adam Hills (probably controversial, but he has been banging on about his f cking prosthetic leg for nearly 20 yrs with the same f cking jokes)
Alan Davies - not a stand up anymore, but he had one routine about the Olympics that wasn't funny, but he was doing the same routine at least 15 yrs after he wrote it, demonstrating a complete lack of respect for his vocation - its meant to be an art form you lazy curly haired sh tbag

while I'm here, Lee Mack did one funny DVD, then followed it up with an appalling show - half the punchlines were 'and he was a paedo' - which might work for Frankie Boyle but a family comic like Mack was just plumping for easy, weak laughs (0/10) - could do (much) better

Still think Lee Mack is Ace...along with Micky Flanagan, Sean Lock, Billy Connolly....the rest I can take it or leave it, i.m.o. - for what it's worth. ' just saying'.

just about everybody mentioned  so far

Trouble with most of them is not really their fault: they have no depth just a little window of inspiration and they get given  a nationwide arena tour. I think Kevin Bridges is funny but I couldn't watch all of his DVD because his funny doesn't stretch that far. Connolly was different gravy when at his peak  and its a crying shame Jack Dee seems to have given up stand up

Whilst on the subject - Brendan O'Carroll (Mrs. Browns Boys) is pretty naff/not remotely amusing .......

Whilst on the subject - Brendan O'Carroll (Mrs. Browns Boys) is pretty naff/not remotely amusing .......

Twice!

McIntyre wins by a distance. Couldn`t lace Bernard Manning`s boots.

Bernard Manning was appalling. Leaving aside his non-pc material, the man was just not very good at telling jokes; he did not have the technique or timing. If you like that sort of "humour", and I don't, Roy Chubby Brown is far better than Manning.

Nobody said Stephen Amos yet?

ALL WOMEN

Ive never seen a funny woman comedian ever

Do any of them tell jokes anymore?
Just seems to be this recycled observational crap they all peddle out.

Kevin  Bridges is rather clever,  nearly every time he says something
he pauses and smiles waiting for audience response. i reckon this saves
him 15 minutes every gig. He's likeable but not that funny, not that it
matters these days when 'comedy' is king.
Jerry Sadowitz is still funny but of course he is banned from the tele.

Do any of them tell jokes anymore?
Just seems to be this recycled observational crap they all peddle out.

The old-fashioned gagmeister may be a thing of the past but Jimmy Carr comes close, and then there are the so-called one-liner (ie pun-heavy) comics like Milton Jones and Tim Vine.

These days, a lot of stand-ups save on writing material by including long periods of banter with the crowds. This can be the best part of the show but you can't tell the gags to your mates the next day. Come to think of it, this "you had to be there" element may even sell a few more tickets.

Tom O'Connor was pretty dreadful, John Bishop has become seriously unfunny, Lenny Henry is an embarrassment as is Sarah Millican - could go on but its probably going to be an infinite list

were 'gags' any funnier than observational?
Monkhouse's 'gags' were conceited but they werent really funny.
Sean Lock had me in stitches referring to how people would snatch his gigs off his face or Mike Wilmot ripping the p1ss out of women

'people dont just tip the disabled out of wheel chairs so they can have a go' - Sean Lock

peter glaze, ken Goodwin.

dustybin 17 Nov 13 13:05 
were 'gags' any funnier than observational?

YES
Maybe my mind deceives me, but I thought Bob Monkhouse,s repertoire was mainly observational.

Monkhouse's
Whoops! Comma instead of an apostrophe, I will never correct anyone's grammar again!

Saw Jason manford the other week - he was decent
Saw John Bishop last year - he was woeful, it was just story telling but not in the slightest bit amusing, I was so bored
Seeing Lee Mack next year - looking forward to it

Thing is, they make a fookin fortune

John Bishop is playing 3 nights at the echo arena next Dec 2014 (tickets have been on sale a while !) @ £33.50 a pop - capacity is probably about 8000 - 3 nights will gross £804k less £150k for the vatman and £100k for the arena. He will clear up half a million for 3 nights work with absolutely no overheads and probably make a sh!te DVD out of it as well

I think early monkhouse was mainly corny gags
Most gagas are corny lets be honest

Thing is, they make a fookin fortune

John Bishop is playing 3 nights at the echo arena next Dec 2014 (tickets have been on sale a while !) @ £33.50 a pop - capacity is probably about 8000 - 3 nights will gross £804k less £150k for the vatman and £100k for the arena. He will clear up half a million for 3 nights work with absolutely no overheads and probably make a sh!te DVD out of it as well

That is right, and the main comics to thank for this are Newman and Baddiel, who showed comedy could sell out a large stadium, and Michael McIntyre, who brought back the family audience. There, I've said it. The British comedy scene is the best in the world, thanks to every forumite's favourites, David Baddiel and Michael McIntyre.

As toffee87 said, standups have almost no overheads: just stadium hire and petrol. No backing band; no cast of actors; no elaborate sets. Write some new jokes each year, play a few universities or small towns to polish the material, then tour the big theatres taking (say) £250,000 a night; film one for the DVD. A guest spot on a couple of comedy panel shows to keep your name in the frame -- guests get around £1,000 a show which is chicken feed but it sells tickets.

pretty much every female comedian. Joan Rivers etc.

the fat northern monkey bernard manning

john bishop and the rest of the bbc new wave of un funny comedians

he might be funny but needs sub titles



they all have their moments

bruce forsyth made me laugh last week !

comedy is basicaly laughing at other peoples misfortune,
can;t offend anyone these days so material is harder to come by.
oh, anyone mentioned graham norton?

I once went to a Xmas Dinner in a big hotel and Tom O'Connor was the star turn for the night - he was worse than abysmal, probably an audience of about 1000 people paying about £45 a head and this was over 20 years ago. He must have cleared 20k for that gig probably round 1990. Me and my mates (a bit worse for wear it has to be said) started pelting him with our mince pies, the bouncers turned away and the audience applauded us. Thats how bad he was.

billy connolly,get past the hair and the beard and the accent and listen to what he actually says-nothing,no comic insight ,no new angle on stuff,half the fckn time he's laughing at himself

jojoba

Another vote for Stephen K.
Saw the first couple of his series on the Beeb.
Comedy Boxes ticked 0/10
BBC Suitability Boxes ticked 9/10

Ricky Garvais,outside of the office

pound for pound - lenny henry - only funny thing I saw that guy do was Theophilus P Wildebeeste? the barry white sexy singer character? everything else was just embarrassing.

Duncan norvelle
I remember as a kid me mother howling with laughter at the 'chase me' sh1te and limp wristed mannerisms (admittedly it was quite amusing the first time) but being a kid I just used to think 'fuc k off you mincing twa t'

In fact I remember seeing norvelle at some holiday resort, I was dragged along to em all as a kid, Russ abbot, bobby davro, cannon and ball etc.
I remember my brother, father and myself appeasing me mother on this one as it was her choice and I distinctly recall being made to sit on the end of the row, my brother next in then mother and then me dad, just so he could get as far up the line as possible for when Duncan went walkabouts in the audience.

having skimmed this thread is there actually a good comedian in the entire world? pretty much all have been mentioned so far!

These days, a lot of stand-ups save on writing material by including long periods of banter with the crowds. This can be the best part of the show but you can't tell the gags to your mates the next day.

This is a classic example, personally I think its brilliant though I understand about 80% of the forumites will hate Paul Foot. He's very marmite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xWwyfwgXYc

going to see ed byrne in a couple of weeks,tickets were half price so thought we would give it a go.
never seen the guy myself,any opinions.

having skimmed this thread is there actually a good comedian in the entire world? pretty much all have been mentioned so far!

Interestingly enough i was thinking the same, we love to moan about everything and everyone don`t we.

If only we had the balls to get on stage and try to make them laugh. Go for it guys!

By the way, the funniest person i have ever seen is my mate Pete.

problem is they only have a small amount of genuinely funny material,the more you see them the less funny material they have prepared.my least fav comic of all time has to be ben Elton ,closely followed by chubby brown

I'm watching an old Jack Dee DVD at the moment. He was funny but like all of them they are forced to spread it too thinly.

Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins.

Have they had a mention yet ? Absolute garbage, truly terrible.

Harry Hill...end of thread.

Alan Carr. Laughing at someone having big teeth, stupid glasses and a whiny voice can be classed as bullying.

Somehow he's made millions from it

Charlie Chaplin
Buster Keaton
Bob Monkhouse
Jimmy Tarbuck
Mike Yarwood
Bernard Manning
Jimmy Clitheroe
Max Miller
Arthur Askey
Kenny Lynch (has he ever been in anything?)
Spike Milligan
and of course king twit of the old timers......Tommy Cooper!

....for starters

You got a few miles on the clock roger by any chance?

Just a wide range of 'comedians' I've been told were funny over the years.

Checked them out and found they were as funny as AIDS of the leg.

Victoria Wood is the only female comedian I have ever laughed to.

That one with the glasses form Bake off is the most unfunny person I have ever seen. I get she is female, and gay so ticks the boxes. Unfortunately somebody must have told her once she was funny, but she makes me angry she is so bad.

Alan Davies is just a smarmy, odious twerp with zero talent.

Cannot stand Mcintyre either. Or Lee Mack. Jack Dee I have never rated either. Or that long haired fella with the tash from  NMT Buzzc0cks. He is pants.

Amazed some have mentioned Skinner, Merton, Lee Evans - all very funny IMHO.

Skinner is witty, sharp as they come, ofc it helps when you turn up with a load of possible amusing anecdotes that you can mould into the conversation.

Skinner is or was brilliant. Saw him about 20 years ago and he was the best stand up I have ever seen.

Skinner was very good.

Frank Skinner is a great stand up for me but woeful on telly.
Not sure Sue Perkins was ever a comedian, just a presenter on TV?
Considering Lee Evans is probably a millionaire from stand up I don't think he has ever made me laugh.

that patrick kielty is a very funny man.

Ironically, I seem to remember reading Duncan Norvelle ended up with Barrymores ex missus.

When Paddy Kielty used to be on Irish telly he was very funny. He had a show on Friday nights about '96, PK tonight I think it was called and no-one I knew went out for the night until it was over. It's only since he moved to England that he stopped being funny.

Not sure Sue Perkins was ever a comedian, just a presenter on TV?

--------

I saw some of her comedy gigs and I'm not sure either.

david cameron.

Les Dawson.

The mention of Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins is the only one that gave me a shiver of real pain and horror.

They scuttled in as a pc Britpop era update to French and Saunders in the mid nineties and were then (and are now) appalling.

The interesting one is Craig Ferguson.
In the UK he was best known as a fairly bad stand up with an act clearly more than a little influenced by Jerry Sadowitz
then after alcoholism and near suicide he upped sticks, went to the States and is now one of the highest paid late night talk show hosts, tipped to take over from Letterman when he retires.

these two guys, worst double act ever, didn't realize that just because socialism was a joke, it didn't mean that it was funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IGbjPqFFvA,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0OtwfYahyg

Gold - Eddie Izzard
Silver - Jimmy Carr
Bronze - Graham Norton



Micky Flanagan, Lee Mack, Lee Evans, Michael McIntyre, Peter Kay and Andrew Lawrence are your boys.

Lenny Henry