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I take my dog for a walk each morning and on the way to the park i pass a barbers shop that has recently changed ownership.The previous owner was an old guy who used to cut oap's and childrens hair..he did ok.Sometimes he used to shut his shop on speck and go for a game of golf with his regulars.
The new owners have spent a few quid on the place and modernised it.However, the new guys (think they are brothers)are Bangladeshi and after a couple of weeks i have been their only customer.This morning i went past and they were cutting each others hair just for something to do..its such a shame because they are really nicepeople and gave me the best haircut i have had in years..all they need is a chance so if you happen to live in Hornchurch , Essex give them a try (opposite the Harrow pub in Hornchurch high rd). Many thanks.
The new owners have spent a few quid on the place and modernised it.However, the new guys (think they are brothers)are Bangladeshi and after a couple of weeks i have been their only customer.This morning i went past and they were cutting each others hair just for something to do..its such a shame because they are really nicepeople and gave me the best haircut i have had in years..all they need is a chance so if you happen to live in Hornchurch , Essex give them a try (opposite the Harrow pub in Hornchurch high rd). Many thanks.
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Thinly veiled 'I've got a full head of hair' thread.
St Andrews Park?
My best mate moved to Hornchurch from Newham, and who can blame him.
He's in Wych Elm Road.
Alas, he's bald, so the barber won't see him.
My best mate moved to Hornchurch from Newham, and who can blame him.
He's in Wych Elm Road.
Alas, he's bald, so the barber won't see him.
I have a great barber, notable for many reasons.
He only charges me a fiver.
The walls are festooned with Victorian pornography.
No woman has ever set foot in the place.
You get a cup of coffee.
He takes the piss out of your hair, openly.
If a black man went in it would scare the living bejzus out of him.
Also it's called Mr R - his name is Rob - which is fine until you say you're going to Mr R's.
He only charges me a fiver.
The walls are festooned with Victorian pornography.
No woman has ever set foot in the place.
You get a cup of coffee.
He takes the piss out of your hair, openly.
If a black man went in it would scare the living bejzus out of him.
Also it's called Mr R - his name is Rob - which is fine until you say you're going to Mr R's.
On a recent tot up, it was calculated that my barber has raised over £700,000 for charity in the last 5 years. One week a year to raise money, he has superhero week, and comes to work each day dressed as a superhero. I got him on his Batman day.
This Sunday, he is pulling a truck with the army and some friends around half a mile. He got into charity work heavily after his 11 year old son died of a brain tumour.
This Sunday, he is pulling a truck with the army and some friends around half a mile. He got into charity work heavily after his 11 year old son died of a brain tumour.
Thinly veiled 'I'm a Bangladeshi barber in Hornchurch" thread.
"I take my dog for a walk each morning and ..."
For a minute I thought this was going to be a sad animal story... thought you were going to tell us that your dog found a dead duck or something.
For a minute I thought this was going to be a sad animal story... thought you were going to tell us that your dog found a dead duck or something.
Step1- Buy Babyliss hair clippers.
Step2- Don't pay for haircuts anymore.
That is all.
Step2- Don't pay for haircuts anymore.
That is all.
My local barber in Newham was a Maltese bloke named Al. He was fast, but because he was prone to nicking an ear with a razor, he got the nickname 'Suicide Sid' as his shop is virtually next door to the local cemetery.
I often recall the early Saturday morning rushm and the one time when I was first in line. As I went in it was about 8-15 a.m. and he was watching cricket from somewhere on a television high up on a bracket on the wall.
He was also peeling an apple.
He gestured towards the only barbers chair, so I sat down and he put the cloth over my clothes and tucked it in around my neck, he continued to peel and eat the apple, cut my hair and watch the cricket simultaneously.
From the time I sat in the chair to to the time I stood up and paid him, was 8 minutes, and I had hair to cut, so it wasn't a once over with a razor. It cost a fiver.
I also recall when me and Mrs SF were off to Cumbria immediately after one of my visits, as 'Sid' knew her, she came and sat in the shop instead of waiting in the car. The jovial banter was Mrs SF asking 'Can you make him look like George Clooney?' to which he replied 'I cut hair darlin', I don't do miracles.'
Please note that this was a barbers shop, not a gentlemans hairdressing salon.
It was strictly 'No gayers' territory.
Meanwhile, in Barking Road, was Italian Tony's salon, where an hour wait was nothing unusual.
Once you got in the chair, his female assistant, rumoured to be his niece, who had curves in all the right places, would thrust her cleavage inches from your face while draping a towel over your shoulders.
100% of the men wanted a haircut, but unusually for men, 95% of them also had their hair washed. Whilst massaging shampoo into your scalp, you were treated to several glmpses of cleavage in a low cut top.
The cut itself by Tony was slow, and you were asked at least 3 times if you were happy with it when facing the mirror. It was £10, and that was in the early 1990s, before I swapped to 'Sid'
Fashionable young men and gayers went to Chris and Pete's salon about 500 yards away. Not even a busty assistant, and the charge was £12.
These days, Mrs SF cuts it, but there's no glimpse of cleavage, and no charge.
I often recall the early Saturday morning rushm and the one time when I was first in line. As I went in it was about 8-15 a.m. and he was watching cricket from somewhere on a television high up on a bracket on the wall.
He was also peeling an apple.
He gestured towards the only barbers chair, so I sat down and he put the cloth over my clothes and tucked it in around my neck, he continued to peel and eat the apple, cut my hair and watch the cricket simultaneously.
From the time I sat in the chair to to the time I stood up and paid him, was 8 minutes, and I had hair to cut, so it wasn't a once over with a razor. It cost a fiver.
I also recall when me and Mrs SF were off to Cumbria immediately after one of my visits, as 'Sid' knew her, she came and sat in the shop instead of waiting in the car. The jovial banter was Mrs SF asking 'Can you make him look like George Clooney?' to which he replied 'I cut hair darlin', I don't do miracles.'
Please note that this was a barbers shop, not a gentlemans hairdressing salon.
It was strictly 'No gayers' territory.
Meanwhile, in Barking Road, was Italian Tony's salon, where an hour wait was nothing unusual.
Once you got in the chair, his female assistant, rumoured to be his niece, who had curves in all the right places, would thrust her cleavage inches from your face while draping a towel over your shoulders.
100% of the men wanted a haircut, but unusually for men, 95% of them also had their hair washed. Whilst massaging shampoo into your scalp, you were treated to several glmpses of cleavage in a low cut top.
The cut itself by Tony was slow, and you were asked at least 3 times if you were happy with it when facing the mirror. It was £10, and that was in the early 1990s, before I swapped to 'Sid'
Fashionable young men and gayers went to Chris and Pete's salon about 500 yards away. Not even a busty assistant, and the charge was £12.
These days, Mrs SF cuts it, but there's no glimpse of cleavage, and no charge.
^^^^^^^
I didn't type all that for fack all.
Even one simple 'fack off' would have been nice.
I miss redbag.
Note to upside downists
the arrows in line one of this post are wasted on you lot
I didn't type all that for fack all.
Even one simple 'fack off' would have been nice.
I miss redbag.
Note to upside downists
the arrows in line one of this post are wasted on you lot
if they get really bored i can upload a video of me giving myself a #3.
It has to be better than you having a no.2 (sniff)
that had crossed my mind. it really depends on what they are into.
My wife shaves my head,she has gorgeous big boobs and does not charge!!!!!!!!!!"thinly veiled as lucky ba5tard thread"
The jovial banter was Mrs SF asking 'Can you make him look like George Clooney?' to which he replied 'I cut hair darlin', I don't do miracles.'
the long winter nights must just fly by !
the long winter nights must just fly by !
I think the problem with posts, SF, is that readers of them like myself will only some of them a long time afterwards and thus it seems silly in a way to comment or to post a laugh when you have also to say exactly what you are replying to.
it was a good post Squeeze, beautifully written, for me.
I'm pretty sure George Clooney is a keen forum lurker, and is now planning on seducing Mrs SF when the old man is off to Cheltenham next March.
Actually, your highness, your posts are the same as SF in a way. I read your posts sometimes after many posters have replied, so although the post in question has made me laugh or is interesting I usually do not reply. So you are funnier than you think as others are probably in the same situation.
If I don't get the adulation I crave, I just log in under one of my other aliases and cover the place in smilies.
SF 
So touched am I by this story that I am going to jet in to Hornchurch from Thailand and get a haircut, despite only having a haircut last week.
Agree with dave. I am taking the day off work to go and get my haircut in hornchurch, even though i shaved whatblittle is left off on friday.
What a generous bunch of chit chatters we have on here..if i can get a few more i'll hire a minibus and drive you there myself..9.am outside victoria coach station ok with everyone?
Passed said barbers this morning and two customers in the chair..quite lightened my mood so it did
2 in 1 chair....no wonder he doesn't get many customers...!
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