Bit of a sad sight

Thinly veiled 'I've got a full head of hair' thread.

I have a great barber, notable for many reasons.

He only charges me a fiver.
The walls are festooned with Victorian pornography.
No woman has ever set foot in the place.
You get a cup of coffee.
He takes the piss out of your hair, openly.
If a black man went in it would scare the living bejzus out of him.
Also it's called Mr R - his name is Rob - which is fine until you say you're going to Mr R's.

Good for him! That's a lot of money!

"I take my dog for a walk each morning and ..."

For a minute I thought this was going to be a sad animal story... thought you were going to tell us that your dog found a dead duck or something.

My local barber in Newham was a Maltese bloke named Al. He was fast, but because he was prone to nicking an ear with a razor, he got the nickname 'Suicide Sid' as his shop is virtually next door to the local cemetery.

I often recall the early Saturday morning rushm and the one time when I was first in line. As I went in it was about 8-15 a.m. and he was watching cricket from somewhere on a television high up on a bracket on the wall.

He was also peeling an apple.

He gestured towards the only barbers chair, so I sat down and he put the cloth over my clothes and tucked it in around my neck, he continued to peel and eat the apple, cut my hair and watch the cricket simultaneously. 

From the time I sat in the chair to to the time I stood up and paid him, was 8 minutes, and I had hair to cut, so it wasn't a once over with a razor. It cost a fiver.

I also recall when me and Mrs SF were off to Cumbria immediately after one of my visits, as 'Sid' knew her, she came and sat in the shop instead of waiting in the car.  The jovial banter was Mrs SF asking 'Can you make him look like George Clooney?' to which he replied 'I cut hair darlin', I don't do miracles.'  

Please note that this was a barbers shop, not a gentlemans hairdressing salon.

It was strictly 'No gayers' territory. 

Meanwhile, in Barking Road, was Italian Tony's salon, where an hour wait was nothing unusual.

Once you got in the chair, his female assistant, rumoured to be his niece, who had curves in all the right places, would thrust her cleavage inches from your face while draping a towel over your shoulders.

100% of the men wanted a haircut, but unusually for men, 95% of them also had their hair washed. Whilst massaging shampoo into your scalp, you were treated to several glmpses of cleavage in a low cut top.

The cut itself by Tony was slow, and you were asked at least 3 times if you were happy with it when facing the mirror.  It was £10, and that was in the early 1990s, before I swapped to 'Sid'

Fashionable young men and gayers went to Chris and Pete's salon about 500 yards away. Not even a busty assistant, and the charge was £12.

These days, Mrs SF cuts it, but there's no glimpse of cleavage, and no charge.

fack off

better now?

if they get really bored i can upload a video of me giving myself a #3.

that had crossed my mind. it really depends on what they are into.

The jovial banter was Mrs SF asking 'Can you make him look like George Clooney?' to which he replied 'I cut hair darlin', I don't do miracles.'



the long winter nights must just fly by !

it was a good post Squeeze, beautifully written, for me.

KM knows his unyans.

Actually, your highness, your posts are the same as SF in a way.  I read your posts sometimes after many posters have replied, so although the post in question has made me laugh or is interesting I usually do not reply.  So you are funnier than you think as others are probably in the same situation.

So do I

pp
HRH The Lager Khan

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http://tinyurl.com/ccnzfx7

brilliant david..made me and the mrs guffaw.

What a generous bunch of chit chatters we have on here..if i can get a few more i'll hire a minibus and drive you there myself..9.am outside victoria coach station ok with everyone?

Passed said barbers this morning and two customers in the chair..quite lightened my mood so it did