how would you perform the perfect bank robbery?

someone's on a bad run

get derren brown to hypnotise all the bank staff

Hack into bank computer and make every screen show Chit Chat forum. Whilst staff are staring blank eyed and open mouthed at 'Order you would do Spice Girls' or 'Wet,smelly dribble' threads, just walk in and pick up the readies.

Shoot them in the face

go to their online banking and login with username "password", and password "password" and wire 40 billion pounds into my own bank account with them.

If you try to rob the bank itself, you'll be on CCTV as soon as you enter the building. This means you need to don your disguise outside, where the public will see you

Assuming you get to a counter, you now now need to pass a DNA-free note to the cashier as shouting 'Give me the facking money' trends to attract attention that you don't need

The banana or gun that you have inside your carrier bag is now pointed at the cashier. If you get caught, the judge won't care if you had a banana, you will get sentenced as though you had a gun, so you may as well carry one

When the cashier has given you bundles of money, you will have unwittingly received a dye-pack, that will explode when you get 25 to 50 metres from the doors of the bank, rendering your haul useless 

So, robbing the bank is out

Now you change your direction to a security van, out in the street in full view of the public, cameras and any have-a-go heroes.  The guards will hand over the money with no resistance, and you can fire shots into the air to warn off heroes. The gunshots will also cause pandemonium as people run in all directions to get away. When this happnens, nobody will remember what you look like after 2 minutes

You run to your vehicle and get away

When you get to your hideout and open the case(s), the money, as in the 'inside the bank' robbery, will also  be covered in red or purple dye

Conclusion - it's all a waste of time

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However, if you wish to get hold of an equivalent amount of cash, go to a town where nobody knows you, ask about, and buy some cheap drugs. Move to a different part of town and do the same again. Keep watching the street dealers, who will lead you to the supplier, and in time, you finally get to know who the Kingpin is.   

Now go and get your crew, get tooled up and go in blasting. Turn the place upside down floorboards, lofts, sheds, everything. Take all the cash, all the drugs that you flush down the drain, and leave no witnesses

Scum wiped out, drugs disposed of, which is a double good deal, unless local plod were on the take, which is why you go to a town where nobody knows you

you obviously don the disguise as you enter the bank. not whilst on the streets.

good post though.

i'm not telling you how i pulled it off

I think I could do it, but impressing Cowell or the phone voters is another thing.

My act would be called Robin Lloyds.

aman201
31 May 12 14:48   
you obviously don the disguise as you enter the bank. not whilst on the streets.

Still doesn't overcome the dye-packs

And all ATMs bar one of the big banks, are also fitted with dye packs

1) You and your gang barge in on a quiet Saturday afternoon. Sawn off's, knives the whole hog. One of them grabs a cashier and holds a knife to her throat.

2) You get another cashier to let you in to the back office which is where all the cash is kept. You warn any potential hero's that your friend with the knife will decapitate the cashier if anybody tries anything.

3) Grab the cash and throw it in a bin bag.

4) Thank everybody for their hospitality...

5) throw it all on trap 6 in the afternoon trap challenge.

how would you perform the perfect bank robbery?

Need a GAS where by it knocks out all human baked beans for say half an hour.

Said GAS, should be invented and used on planes within hijack situations.

Hope this Hops.

Eboue,

How is it coming?

Mr Eboue
31 May 12 18:45   
1) You and your gang barge in on a quiet Saturday afternoon. Sawn off's, knives the whole hog. One of them grabs a cashier and holds a knife to her throat.

And there was me thinking that they now open on Saturdays so those who work midweek can get in there. And you need long arms to grab a cashier by the throat through a small gap in the glass

Be easier to rob one of the big bookies shops on a dark wonters night, where the bosses are out wining and dining at by 9-00 pm, while the staff are in shops with no bandit screens as 'they give the wrong impression'

A Ladbrokes was hit this week where I live.

A ' substantial ' ammount stolen.

I hope the manager had at least a monkey selotaped under the counter for himself
and passed it to one of his mates inside a newspaper before calling the police

@pints:

grab one of the workers at the front desk and hold her at ransom. this gains you access to the part on the other side of the glass. where the money is.

Thats what I meant.

how would you perform the perfect bank robbery?


By not getting caught

just wear a cap like jim from corrie. can't fail surely