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27 Feb 11
22:03
Joined:
Date Joined:
09 Apr 04
Paddy Power Imperial Cup day, gutted I can't go as it will be a great meeting.
Whoever tells the best joke gets them for nada.
Whoever tells the best joke gets them for nada.
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Just got a job at the British Brittle Bone Association, £650 a week......I snapped his hand off.
P.S. I don't want the tickets.
P.S. I don't want the tickets.
That rotten husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker," the housewife told a neighbor.
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is now paid up for six months!"
worth 2 slippy?
"You didn't do it, did you?"
"I have to admit I did -- though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven't done, though, is tell my husband the rent is now paid up for six months!"
worth 2 slippy?
Keep em coming, 5 free badges which are worth quite a lot. A token donation to the winner to the retired greyhound trust would be appreciated though having said that.
I don't want money Howdi, just a good joke will suffice.
OK Howdi, you win you can have all 5. Put up an e-mail addy and I will send them to you.
You have to go to the meeting though, no hawking them on e-bay
You have to go to the meeting though, no hawking them on e-bay
thanks for the offer slippy, unfortunately I could only use two...
It is with regret, therefore, that I have decide to withold my doubtless prize-winning joke on this occasion. May I take this opportunity to thank you for your enquiry and wish you the best of luck in the future.
It is with regret, therefore, that I have decide to withold my doubtless prize-winning joke on this occasion. May I take this opportunity to thank you for your enquiry and wish you the best of luck in the future.
Slippy if you get any for York Pontefract Wetherby Ripon,or any northern meeting, I am sure i can find a cracking joke in my locker.
OK Hugy I will bear that in mind, none of those tracks are on my circuit though but you never know what drops in the letterbox. Howdi, slippyblue@hotmail.com for your tickets even though the joke wasn't all that. Hope you have a great day at Sandown next month.
mrbadger, you can have two, Howdi can have three no worries there, just send me your address and I'll sort it tomorrow for you both mot a problem.
A horse and a greyhound are playing in Slippy's field. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the greyhound to go and get Slippy, the trainer, to help pull him out to safety.
The greyhound runs to the offices but the trainer can't be found.
The greyhound then drives Slippy's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the greyhound and the horse were playing in the field again and the greyhound, this time, fell into the mud hole.
The greyhound yelled to the horse to go and get some help from Slippy.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!"
So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my d1ck and pull yourself up."
And the greyhound did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:......If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes!
He calls to the greyhound to go and get Slippy, the trainer, to help pull him out to safety.
The greyhound runs to the offices but the trainer can't be found.
The greyhound then drives Slippy's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the greyhound and the horse were playing in the field again and the greyhound, this time, fell into the mud hole.
The greyhound yelled to the horse to go and get some help from Slippy.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!"
So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my d1ck and pull yourself up."
And the greyhound did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story:......If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes!
back Pipes horse in the Imperial he tends to win that alot
You can all have a badge each, I'm past caring. Night all I'm shattered.
thanks slippy, that'very generous of you - just checked with the other half and we're all systems go, will drop you an email
Mr Badger, I'm off out now and first port of call will be the post office to send you your two tickets, which will be guarenteed next day delivery before 1 p.m. so will need signing for. I'll save the other three for Howdi who needs to p.m. me his address soon as.
Very good Poppy
Very good Poppy
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the Kangaroo Island coast.
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.
'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'
The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef.
He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.
But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'
He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.
'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?
'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!
He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.
Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.
The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.
'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'
The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef.
He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'
The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn.
But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.
The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'
He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.
'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?
'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!
that admits one to the silver ring at folfestone UTI
Slippy
that cnut who got your email addy is sending a virus to people.
that cnut who got your email addy is sending a virus to people.
Slippy, are you still based in the south coast of Spain, or have you returned?
Mr W. I have deleted all my contacts on that e-mail address, it is a throwaway one that I have only ever used on here, I wouldn't dare used my work one. As you say, some sicko on the betfair forum has hijacked it for a laugh, it has got nothing to do with me trust me on that. In future people can send me a p.m. on here with their address as I got sent untold of amounts of free tickets and like to give them out to us lot when possible. In future it will be all by p.m. as I'm binning that e-mail addy as from right now.
Stewartyb, I'm back in London, the company that I worked for went bust owing me untold amounts.
Spain is completely bankrupt, it was very good while it lasted, in fact it was a dream thinking about it but if I had stayed out there for another few years I would have ended up in a padded cell.
Spain is completely bankrupt, it was very good while it lasted, in fact it was a dream thinking about it but if I had stayed out there for another few years I would have ended up in a padded cell.
slipp thanks
timcomley1002@yahoo.com
where shall i send gryhound donation to you???
timcomley1002@yahoo.com
where shall i send gryhound donation to you???
Howdi, I have sent you a message on beta, tell me your address via that medium and I'll post three tickets tomorrow, Mr.Badger got sent his two today, meet up with him for a beerio! The R.G.T is the place to send a tenner, that would be good, here is the link.
http://www.retiredgreyhounds.co.uk/
Good luck and hope you have a great day at Sandown.
http://www.retiredgreyhounds.co.uk/
Good luck and hope you have a great day at Sandown.
cheers pal will do you going to the festival ill buy you a beer
I'm working all that week Howdi so not unfortunately, put one in the wood for me and I'll have it next time.
OK mate. I sent my address on beta hope u got it never used that before let me know mate . I owe you owe 
Got it, will send them tomorrow, you will get them by Wednesday 1.00 p.m. They will need to be signed for. Nice part of the world you live in Howdi.
lived here 20 years mate from stoke originally not so nice 
Don't worry about it Howdi, what goes around comes around, that's my philosophy anyway.
Stoke, I read the naughty fourty book, loads of nutcases live in Stoke.
Have you jumped ship then Howdi? I thought you were part of the army. Nutters the lot of them.
Fair enough, poker table beckons for me now, will send the tickets tomorrow dude, good luck.
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