Who would win a fight between...

I would back the chimpanzee,you should see the damage they can create at Knowsley Safari Park!

The winner would be whoever filmed it.

I would be laying 10s the chimp.

Is the Lion annoyed or livid?

Even a livid lion is no match for a machete wielding chimpanzee imo.
Did you know chimpanzees have something like 98% of the same genes as humans, 100% in the case of some humans imo.

A lettuce has 95% of the same genes as us though.

There's a website where such mythical matchups are discussed, animalfightclub.

I had no idea what a nasty little b*stard a wolverine is...they reckon it scares off wolves and bears and would batter a baboon!

Would think the chimp would lose because I can't imagine the chimp having the power or the knowledge to disable the Lion quickly. One thwack and the lion would rip it to shreds

Probably relies on the chimp getting the first blow in and making it a good un.  Lion a 1.08 shot imo.

Lion a bit short at 1.08, probably more a 1.2 shot imo. If chimp gets off to a good start, could be anyones game

Watched a TV program once about Marvin Gay. He owned both a bull terrier and a monkey.
One day the dog and monkey had fight in the back yard. Not only did the monkey win the fight, it also b ummed the dog.

Just watched oougar Vs eagle. Eagle never stood a chance.

Jimbo747 20 Jul 10 21:40 
Lion a bit short at 1.08, probably more a 1.2 shot imo. If chimp gets off to a good start, could be anyones game

£5k to £1k the Lion please.

Is it on PPV ?

If you give a 1000 chimps a 1000 machetes, eventually they'll come up with the complete works of Shakespeare all cut to shreds all over the floor.

Who would win a fight between Charles Hawtrey and Alan Carr?

Watched a TV program once about Marvin Gay. He owned both a bull terrier and a monkey.
One day the dog and monkey had fight in the back yard. Not only did the monkey win the fight, it also b ummed the dog.

One way to avoid it going to the judges' scorecards, I suppose.

Where can I get odds on this happening in Mayweather - Pacman?

macarony Joined: 13 Mar 05
Replies: 951 20 Jul 10 22:40 

Who would win a fight between Charles Hawtrey and Alan Carr? 

Being dead would be a bit of handicap for charles, though one would still end up getting bummed.

there is absolutely no doubt in my mind the chimp would be cat food in about 3 seconds. Now a bear and a lion thats a miss match too i wouldnt lay a grizzly at 1.01

Everything's Gone Green 21.01     


A lettuce has 95% of the same genes as us though.

99.9% in your case, son.

lettuce is very good for helping you sleep, its natures sleeping pill, not a lot of people know that

Very good, boggle.

Nice one crags.

Don't give up the night job.

Cabbages (what percentage IAYO's)?

The chimp would drop the machete in the melee.

I think it might depend on which end of the machete the chimp was holding.

They were discussing domestic cat vs squirrel this morning.  Surely the cat would eat a squirrel for breakfast.

I'd expect lion to beat a chimp.  Whereas, strangely enough, I'd say a human would have a better chance (allbeit negligible) vs a big cat or bear or whatever than a chimp.  Reckon MIke Tyson at his peak would have no chance v an enraged chimp.

If every creature on Earth was scaled up or down so that each was the same size (say the size of a large dog) who would be the winner?

I reckon the Quarter Finals would be :


Scorpion v Wolverine
Siberian Tiger v Goliath Beetle
Japanese Hornet v Killer Whale
Hyena v Ant (the mad ones not the normal ones)

If every creature was scaled up to the same size, Each Way would piss on the whole fkin lot of us.

Ants can lift about 50 times their own body weight or more (according to wiki) so they'd just pick everything else up and hold it in the air till it died, or chuck it, sumo style, out of the place of combat.

I want to see Prescott v Prescott. Sir Mark v John. Who would win? The cigar-chomping baronet or the tubby sentence-mangler?

they'd just pick everything else up and hold it in the air till it died

What of? Natural causes?

Yes, an ant can hang from a blade of grass for 8 weeks by its mandible without letting go.

Ants have their skeleton on the outside. If they were the same size and weight as a human, don’t think they could walk never  mind fight

Baracouda v Ronald McDonald. My moneys on the clown.

Aardvark v badger could be a close run thing.  Badgers are vicious little bassas.

a honey badger taking on a wolverine would be one of the ultimate animal kingdom face offs.

Michigan is nicknamed the Wolverine State despite only one sighting of one
over the last 200 years.
Tasmanian Devil is also a nasty little creature.

History Maker • July 21, 2010 10:46 AM BST
I want to see Prescott v Prescott. Sir Mark v John. Who would win? The cigar-chomping baronet or the tubby sentence-mangler?


Sir Mark would easily lose the 1st 3 fights but the 4th event if he was allowed a stone in hand he would be dangerous

Not sure which of the above will be covered but tonight BBC1 9:00 The Hunt