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01 Jul 10
08:10
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Date Joined:
11 Apr 10
Herbie Hancock's mother, Delores Hancock was born in the same house that Anne Frank wrote her diary.
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The man who invented the standard QWERTY keyboard was dyslexic.
the man who invented the standard qwerty keyboard actually thought he was putting w a nke r on the keyboard, although i may be banned for telling you this 
Theresa May decided to call a General Election whilst on a walking holiday in the mountains of north Wales when husband Philip said, "I forsee a landslide".
Theresa May decided to call a General Election whilst on a walking holiday in the mountains of north Wales.
Michael Jackson was really Diana Ross due to the fact that they've never been seen in the same room.
The BBC employ a dedicated special effects team whose sole job is to produce that nice crisp "thwack" sound when a ball is struck as the actual sound is too insipid to carry well.
Barbara Windsor aka Peggy Mitchell never said "Get outta ma pub!"
Chit chat membership went up fourfold, when members voted for compulsory naked profiles at the recent AGM (apologies for absentees went on a bit).
It is only at the age of 18 that human beings completely comprehend social justice and world politics... after that their brains deteriorate.
The favourite will win the first race at Newmarket today
A former City currency dealer who was sacked and took a job at a branch of Sports Direct has appeared in court after police found £10,000 worth of trainers in his flat.
He was given a conditional discharge after the judge heard that a recruitment consultant had told the offender to treat it as an opportunity to take stock.
He was given a conditional discharge after the judge heard that a recruitment consultant had told the offender to treat it as an opportunity to take stock.
The human ear can detect the difference between hot and cold water being poured which is very important for advertising purposes as cold water doesn’t sell tea.
Pope Benedict XVI is an avid stamp collector.
It is rumoured that he was sacked after being caught steaming the stamps off St Paul's letter to the Corinthians.
It is rumoured that he was sacked after being caught steaming the stamps off St Paul's letter to the Corinthians.
St Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthians whilst stationed in what is now Albania and the stamps he used formed part of a series celebrating the work of Norman Wisdom who is still revered in that country.
Brexit is a fantastic idea it won't be long before even the U.S.A realizes they would be better off if they all split up and forgot this
United business..We are stronger apart surely they understand Unions don't last.
United business..We are stronger apart surely they understand Unions don't last.
Country music is so revered in the American Deep South it's afforded almost religious status there.
Billy Graham once formed a band with Dolly Prton and Tammy Wynette called the Hot Gospellers.
Billy Graham once formed a band with Dolly Prton and Tammy Wynette called the Hot Gospellers.
'Pearly Kings and Queens' were a London gang sponsored by a button manufacture whose declining sales threatened his business.
The ball point pen was patented by Hungarian inventor Laszlo Bic.
Bic's prototype razor failed as it left the user with ink all over their face.
Joanna Lumley had to have a plastic an*s fitted due to kinky cocaine use over many years.
In 1981, Oliver Reed went to a showbiz party with Alex Higgins at The Park Lane Hilton and they both drank Perrier water all night.
Titus Bramble, the howler-prone former Ipswich, Newcastle, Wigan and Sunderland defender is the nephew of Livingstone Bramble, the former world lightweight champion
Re Titus Bramble, I thought his dad played Albert Steptoe?
policeman who went racing 3 times after saying he was sick been caught lying has been made chief inspector
Dolly, the petite girl with the big rack who fell in love with Jaws in the James Bond film Moonraker after he crashed into the cable car building and she helped to free him, was wearing braces on her teeth at the time when they smile at each other and then walk off hand in hand.
I thought she was wearing braces as did half the internet, it is now an internet thing, with videos and a scientific explanation and you can even get Dolly was wearing braces T shirts.
I thought she was wearing braces as did half the internet, it is now an internet thing, with videos and a scientific explanation and you can even get Dolly was wearing braces T shirts.
Diane Abbott once gave Professor Hawkins private tuition for mathematics at Oxford University.
A Premier League footballer offered a spot on BBC's Match of the Day has turned down the role after he realised that the £120k pay package was an annual salary.
The inventor of the umbrella had intended to call his innovation the "brella" but hesitated when the patent office asked him what it was called.
In an attempt to circumvent the laws relating to prostitution, an escort agency in Manchester permits clients to pay for services with unwanted household items, electrical gadgets, CDs and the like which they then sell on various internet auction sites.
^^^^^^^^^^
Forgot to say, the name of the agency is T1T FOR TAT.
Forgot to say, the name of the agency is T1T FOR TAT.
Despite his incredible natural talent, Lionel Messi cannot play "Keepie uppie". To date, his personal record for juggling the ball with his feet is a paltry seven.
Brendan Foster, bbc athletics commentator is to retire from commentating to take up a place playing alto saxophone in the André Rieu and his Johann Strauss Orchestra's next world tour.
The average age of the combat soldier in Vietnam was 18
Before she became a superstar, singing sensation Adele worked in the accounts department of a biscuit factory.
The chirpy cockney songstress dedicated one of her recordings to her stint in the credit control section.
The chirpy cockney songstress dedicated one of her recordings to her stint in the credit control section.
The rock samples taken back from the moon by Mr Neil Armstrong have not got the same chemical compound as the missing rocks that were taken away from area 51 on the same month.
My grandfather invented the 'Little nipper mouse trap' when he was a Little nipper as the house was overrun with the little buggers and his father couldn't catch them just throwing darts.
You can see the Moon from the Great wall of China !
Theresa May is ready, willing and able to take Britain out of the EU on a no-deal basis if necessary.
Julia Roberts is due to commence filming her new movie in January.
It is a biopic about a woman so obsessed with rock and pop that she would always have a music magazine by her bedside so she could read if she woke during the night.
An studio insider has informed me that it will be entitled "Sleeping With The NME".
It is a biopic about a woman so obsessed with rock and pop that she would always have a music magazine by her bedside so she could read if she woke during the night.
An studio insider has informed me that it will be entitled "Sleeping With The NME".
My local council has prevented me from calling my new coffee shop 'chinwags' because it may encourage violence towards the partners of footballers.
A 32-stone passenger who was asked to purchase two seats for his flight from Manchester to Athens won a claim for compensation after the court heard that the budget airline allocated him one seat in row 24 and the other in row 31.
The Gambling Commission have announced that online bookmakers may no longer restrict accounts just because someone wins. From 1st January 2019 all account restrictions must be removed, and bets accepted up to a liability of £300.
i_agree_with_nick 25 Sep 18 22:59
Julia Roberts is due to commence filming her new movie in January.
It is a biopic about a woman so obsessed with rock and pop that she would always have a music magazine by her bedside so she could read if she woke during the night.
An studio insider has informed me that it will be entitled "Sleeping With The NME".
Julia Roberts is due to commence filming her new movie in January.
It is a biopic about a woman so obsessed with rock and pop that she would always have a music magazine by her bedside so she could read if she woke during the night.
An studio insider has informed me that it will be entitled "Sleeping With The NME".
50 % of the Country think there is going to be another Brexit Vote 
Death Watch Beetles have been confirmed in Canterbury Cathedral.
The ceremony also confirmed 2 mice, a bullfrog and a collection of bats in the belfry.
The ceremony also confirmed 2 mice, a bullfrog and a collection of bats in the belfry.
Amongst the items recovered from Osama bin Laden's house in Abbottabad was a Ronan Keating Greatest Hits cd.
The whole internet weighs about the same as a graprfuit
when actually it weighs the same as a large strawberry
when actually it weighs the same as a large strawberry
Post It Notes were, in fact, invented by Henry Ford.
They never really caught on due to his reluctance to offer a range of colours.
They never really caught on due to his reluctance to offer a range of colours.
Legendary trainer Luca Cumani will have his final runner on Thursday,daughter Francesca is thought to be taking over the reins with Oli Bell working closely behind her.
On the 3rd October 1952 Britain tested its first nuclear device on Canvey Island.
Bob Holness played the saxophone on the record Baker street ..
When Girls Aloud were on tour and faced with a tedious drive between venues, they would often while away an hour or two with a game of "In What Order Would You Do The Following Chit Chatters?"
The game was abandoned on the 3rd night after fights broke out over who would get to use lybertyne first.
When Question Time first started the first 29 journalists to appear on the show 1979 - 1982 were all from the Guardian, the BBC held the view they were the only paper who could send someone who held a balanced view!
One match once finished at 90 minutes mark at Old Trafford
whilst United were not winning !!
Later the referee was burnt to death with a hairdryer !!
whilst United were not winning !!
Later the referee was burnt to death with a hairdryer !!
If the Population of China ALL jumped up in the air at the same time
when they landed the bump would send the Earth out of orbit and crashing into
Uranus .
when they landed the bump would send the Earth out of orbit and crashing into
Uranus .
If the population of the UK ALL jumped up in the air at the same time
when they landed there would be over 4 million claims for injuries.
when they landed there would be over 4 million claims for injuries.
I recently flew up to heaven on my winged horse to have word with God ,but when I arrived,there was a notice “Gone to lunch back in one hour”having hired the horse for 1 hour only,I had to fly back,so typicle of my luck.
When Paul McCartney undergoes root canal treatment or has a tooth extraction, he always declines the offer of anaesthetic in an attempt to transcend dental medication.
Ostriches are extremely good at flying but rarely bother as they don’t like to show off
Cottage cheese is neither a cottage or a cheese but is in fact seagull sh1t
The Great Wall of China is the only man-made object visible from the moon, Goldfish have a memory of only 3 seconds, there are more people alive now than have ever died, I can lick my elbow.
At the age of 14, Diane Abbott became a member of Mensa.
Dizzee Rascal started his musical career by being an extra in his Uncles pop video aged 8. His Uncle being none other than Ian Wright. ( I think he played football as well
)
)
Thought this belonged in here 
Its a well known fact that women never answer video calls after 9pm because their faces have been restored to factory settings
Its a well known fact that women never answer video calls after 9pm because their faces have been restored to factory settings
When quizzed about possible candidates for the managerial vacancy, a spokesman for Arsenal FC said the club were looking to appoint someone with more than four syllables in their name so the fans can't chant the 'Only Fools and Horses' theme tune in the event he is not an immediate success.
Nicola Sturgeon is a native German. Her mother gave birth in the local Krankenhaus.
American soldiers were awarded more Purple Hearts then London Mods in the 60s consumed.
In celebration of Brexit rugby officials have announced that from next season they will be reinstating the 25 yard line.
Two for you.
1/ After Brexit, the NHS will receive £350 million extra a week.
2/ Daniel Defoe, who wrote Robinson Crusoe, was the first black man to have a book published.
1/ After Brexit, the NHS will receive £350 million extra a week.
2/ Daniel Defoe, who wrote Robinson Crusoe, was the first black man to have a book published.
Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter speed so fast that it can take pictures of women with their mouths closed
As from next Monday the BBC will be introducing a "Comments" section at the foot of each article on their website.
After Brexit, the NHS will receive £350 million extra a week.
NHS funding 2015/16: £127.1 Billion
NHS funding 2020/21: £143.4 Billion
£313,461,538 a week more. Nearly there.
NHS funding 2015/16: £127.1 Billion
NHS funding 2020/21: £143.4 Billion
£313,461,538 a week more. Nearly there.
The young girl on the TV test card from yesteryear grew up to be a clown in the circus.
It would take a passenger plane, in the region of two days, to fly all the way round our planet....
To put that into perspective, and using imagination, it would take almost three years, to fly around the biggest known star
in the universe!
To put that into perspective, and using imagination, it would take almost three years, to fly around the biggest known star
in the universe!
The number of double-decker buses reaching from the Earth to the Moon is exactly equal to the number of double-decker buses required to cover an area the size of Wales.
If the as yet unnamed 2020 coronavirus continues to grow at its present rate, by the end of the Brexit transition period on December 31st , the world will consist of an enormous ball of germs expanding outward at the speed of light.
Of the Deveoped Countries it is the UK that has the highest average number of legs per person. And that average still stands at under 2.0
Which means virtually all of us have above the average number of legs.
It would take a genetically engineered division of three legged warriors to push the average back up to two. Or a platoon of eight legged spider cross breeds.
Racehorses seem to have evolved better, they have an ideal average of four.
Which means virtually all of us have above the average number of legs.
It would take a genetically engineered division of three legged warriors to push the average back up to two. Or a platoon of eight legged spider cross breeds.
Racehorses seem to have evolved better, they have an ideal average of four.
Country singer Johnny Cash invented the ATM machine
Johnny Rotten played classical violin and achieved a Merit at Grade 7.
It is actually a requirement of the United States Constitution that presidential elections are run like a clown car.
Pope Francis owns a chain of vape shops in his native Buenos Aires.
Transferred from the " strange but true " section.
From the famous movie , of the whole " I'm Spartacus " scene , only Kirk Douglas survives .
What ? Too early?
From the famous movie , of the whole " I'm Spartacus " scene , only Kirk Douglas survives .
What ? Too early?
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