Ze Chermans v El Spaniardos

'It's the World Cup underachievers against the World Cup overachievers. If you don't know which is which you might, just, be watching the wrong channel,' noted Gary Lineker. The first **** in the armour of Joachim Löw's boys might have been the revelation that Paul the Psychic Octopus was tipping that Spaniards for this one. The last time the two sides met, the Spaniards won and the Germans complained of 'death of one thousand passes.' Lineker made the interesting observation that it would get harder and hadrer for the Germans to keep on producing on the big occasion the longer the tournament went on. Shearer agreed. Hansen looked dubious. Lawro, interviewed in the ground, went for the Spanish too. Del Basque pulled the first big surprise - not so much dropping Torres, that's been coming for a couple of games at least, but rather in replacing him with Pedro rather than Fabregas.

The first half was a game of chess between two grand masters. Cagey yet with moments of furious pace and attack-counter attack. Spain were the better side early on but, you occasionally felt, always wanted that one pass too many. Sometimes, those eight passes to many. Germany came back and were probably the stronger side in the second half of the first half. But, from both sides you felt it was the final ball every time - from both teams - that was letting them down. The approach play and the passing in beautiful, but the one thing acking was that killer, defence-splitting ball. In the closing seconds of the half, the Germans had a stonewall penalty turned down - Sergio Ramos clipping Ozil's heals.

The second period was equally fascinating and equally frustrating in the places. The Spanish seem,ed reticent to really go for it and, when they did, they missed a couple of glorious changes. The Germans, missing Mueller, didn't seem able to carve out any decent changes. Finally, the deadlock was broken when good old mad-haired Puyol powered in a bullet header from his curly bonce from a set-piece. After that, the Germans laid seige to the Spanish goal and, for the first time in the tournament it was they were were being caught on the counter-attack rather than the other way around. Ha! Now you know how WE feel! The Spanish, to much scratching of heads, took Villa off and brought Torres on. Time ran out. Joachim Löw had a face like a smacked arse. The Spanish went bananas. Or, should that hbe oranges? The man from delmonte, he say 'yes.' We will have a new name on the World Cup on Sunday. Which will be good for football. Particulary as, I confidently predict, I have already seen the winners of the 2014 tournament. They're called Germany.

Goals: 139
Red Cards: 15

This has been a great read all the way through the tournament.
Thanks GP.

excellent stuff. I'd love to see ze chermans win in the heart of Brazil

I wish all the matches were like last night's one

The Netherlands v Spain
Ontspanje. That's a Dutch word meaning, essentisally, 'relax.' But also, more literally, it means 'De-Spain.' And, with that lingustic example of rank cleverness, welcome to the end of the world. Gary Lineker, in the thoroughly tasteful suit and tie, kicked off the BBC coverage with little montage of the tournament's memorable moments with an Alabama 3 soundtrack. Tasty. Lee Dixon then claimed that when he met Nelson Mandela and shook his hand, 'shivers went down my spine.' I'd get that checked out if I were, mate, it might be polio. The two Alans and Dicko were also, like Gary, besuited. And looked very nice. Clarence Seedorf, meanwhile, was wearing a bright orange replica kit and making no bones about whom he was supporting. I couldn't tell you what the shower on ITV were up to. I'd made my choice! In fact, they'd made it for me. Early highlights of the coverage included a brief bit of the opening ceremony with Nelson looking a bit bewildered smiling in all the right places. And then, one of the great meeting-of-mind moments of the World Cup, Garth Crooks interviewing Howard Webb. The beeb picked out an England flag in the crowd with 'can't Play, can't Ref' on it. Then, Shearer - never Howard webb's biggest fan - said 'Team spirit and organisation has taken the Dutch to this final. Take Wesley Sneijder out of their team and they don't have any other really great players.' I think Arjen Robben might have something to say about that, pal! Then, Garth did a supern interview with Rudi Krol who seemed terrifically confident. Jonathan Pearce produced a rather thoughtful little piece of changing Dutch attitudes to winning with, or without, style. But still the panel seemed to sniff at any vague suggestion that anyone other than Spain was going to walk this. 'I'm trying to build a case for the Netherlands to win the game and it's very difficult,' said Dixon.

'Spain are in such good form and their ability on the ball is unmatched. The Dutch do have match-winners in Arjen Robben, Wesley Sneijder and Robin van Persie, though - they'll need all three to turn it on for them to have a chance tonight.'

And so to the match. The BBC had gone for Guy Mowbray as their commentator, a bit of a surprise, perhaps, as Pearce had been widely expected to get it. he gave a poetic little flourish to begin with about destiny that brought something of a disgruntled 'humpf' from Mark Lawrenson beside him. What fllowed was a desperately disappointing first half. Spain were pretty on the ball - and had loads of it - but had no final pass and no penetration. The Dutch, on the other hand, just never got going at all. In the first fifteen minutes, they were all over the place but, then they seemed to buck their ideas up and go for Plan B. Kick the Spanish up aheight. As for goals, they seemed to be waiting for Robben to have a moment of inspiration. The game was niggly and littered with fouls. Howard Webb produced five yellow cards including two - for Van Bommel and De Jong - which might easily have been another colour. The latter's throat-high kung-fu-kick on Xabi Alonso had Lawrson producing the finest moment of the first half. 'I hope none of you are having your tea at home!' Guy Mowbray summed up the half thus: 'The game has lost its edge, lost its pace. The Netherlands have stopped Spain from dominating but they haven't taken control themselves. For me, the match is at a very iffy stage.' Two hopelessly missed chances just before the break at either end - from Mathijsen and Pedro summed the half up even better. Horrorshow.

Half-time was a succession of rants from Hansen ('total football? Total thuggery!') calmed down somewhat by a little bit more sensible comments from Shearer and Dixon. The Dutch, they noted, had realised that they couldn't, possibly, play Spain at the their own game so they'd gone for Plan C. Stop them playing. And it was working. 'If this had been a group game, the Netherlands would probably already be down to nine men - at least,' noted Shearer.

The second half was better although only marginally - not that you'd believe it if you listened to miserable old Hansen at the climax. There were lots more yellow cards, Spain tried to pass the sodding ball to death and the Dutch had a great chance when Robben got through one-on-one with Casillas but the Dutchie's arse fell out. David Villa had an even better chance but his shot from six yards was charged down by Heitinga. Into injury time, with other options available, Sneijder - who'd had a total nightmare of game - tried ambitious shot from the half way line. And almost - almost but not quite - hit the corner flag. Desperate. But, nowhere near the worst Wolrd cup final ever.

Extra time: Suddenly, we had an open, end-to-end classic on our hands. Chances at both ends, last ditch tackles, outrageous dives. And that was just in the first five minutes! 'The first signs here that this is starting to open up' noted Guy Mowbray. Fabregas had a great opportunity at one end, Robben at the other. Still no goals. Lawrenson said he though this was the best period of the whole game. Iniesta missed. Time ticked onwards. Inevtiably, with the number of cards that had been issued, you knew it wasn't going to end eleven-a-side and. sure enough, five minutes inot the second half of extra time, Johnny Heitinga pulled back Iniesta on the edge of the box and took the long walk. Replays suggested the Spaniard had made a bit of a meal of it. Then in the space of a couple of minutes, everything went wrong for the Dutch. A corner they should have had wasn't given, a foul against Elia wasn't given and, up at the other end, the ball broke to Iniesta, who scored. Chaos ensued. Spain won.

Goals: 144
Red Cards: 16

More entertaining than the cup itself.
MBE for GP.

What happened to all the talk in the papers a couple of weeks ago about how the european sides were being outclassed by the south americans.  They're so goddam fickle, a few results go a certain way (easily covered by statiscal anomalies) and they start trying to re-analyse the whole state of the game.  2 european finalists and 3/4 semi finalists.  Only lowly youaregay made the semis from outside europe.

A shame Mandela was not their to watch spain (whose fans regularly taunt opposition black players with monkey chants and whose former manager, and major architect of this side, referred to opposition black players as monkeys) win so popularly.

excellent thread.


tmf failing to cut it though.

reading other day yo need a special visa that lasts as long as wc is on.