Forums
There is currently 1 person viewing this thread.
These 874 comments are related to the topic:
BETTING SHOP CHARACTERS (reprinted by request)

Post your reply

Text Format: Table: Smilies:
Forum does not support HTML
Insert Photo
Cancel
Page 5 of 22  •  Previous | 1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | ... | 22 | Next
sort by:
Show
per page
Replies: 874
By:
DarkDagger
When: 19 Aug 06 22:11
.
By:
Aspro
When: 20 Aug 06 07:45
JUST PICK 7

Stuart was a nice bloke and a regular punter, not really a 'character', but imo, this story has to be told.

In the summer of 1977, he walked into the shop and threw his car keys on to the counter. Having done his Jacksons at Harringay the previous night, along with Mick the Cabbie, and my future brother in law, Fred. He was almost skint. He had saved a few bob that morning for an M.O.T. on his Capri, but it failed due to a rusty suspension leg.

'My lucks p.oxed.' he said.

I told him I could get him a dodgy M.O.T. certificate, but it would cost him 7, but the car would still be unsafe, or he could borrow the money to get the car repaired.

' Nah, fk it. Can't be bothered' was the reply. With half a quid left he wandered up to the chippy and got something to eat for lunch. When walking back to the shop, he stuck his head in the door of the pub across the road. He spotted Fred, and went in for a quick chat, put his last 10p in a fruit machine and got 1 out.

They arrived in the shop and he said ' I've got a nicker, all I need now is a 100-1 winner.' Fred said 'Just pick 7 horses and have an acca.' Stuart, going from page to page of the Sporting Life on the walls kept mumbling 'Just pick 7, he says.' followed by ' I couldn't fkn pick one last night. Now its 'Just pick 7.'

By now, Mick had arrived, and geeing Stuart on, said 'Just pick 7, it's easy.'

He picked 7, and the only one I remember was Bertie Me Boy, which was about 4th of the 7.

He had a 50p each way acca, and the first 6 won.

The last one was at Redcar IIRC, and in those days it was Extel only, no pictures.

The commentator droned on until the last hundred yards when Stuarts horse was apparently coming with a wet sail. It was a photo, and Stuarts horse had got up.

The place was well and truly 'buzzing'

Within a few minutes there was the announcement 'Objection at Redcar.'

It took nigh on 15 minutes, and when the commentator said 'After the objection at Redcar,' it went deathly quiet, until the words 'Objection over-ruled, result stands.' and the place went mad.

Stuart collected 2,050, and Mick the Cabbie got hold of a picture of Derby winner Never Say Die, and it was stuck to the inside glass of the screen along with the bet. It stayed there until the shop was sold to 'the majic sine' some 6 years later.

Stuart got another car, bought his mum a new three piece suite, went racing, horse and dogs, for about 14 days on the trot and ended up skint again.

But he enjoyed it, and that's what the game's all about.
By:
Aspro
When: 20 Aug 06 07:46
'IS THAT AN A?'

Formerly known as ' CHECK IT AGAIN PLEASE MATE.'

R.I.P.

Old Bill Manning started betting in our shop in the early 1960s, he was already about 60 years old then, his wits were as sharp as a razor but his eyes packed up working properly in about 1990, when he started to develop cataracts.

I knew him for almost 25 years, and even though he knew my name he always called me 'mate.'

He worked every bet out to the exact penny, and if the return was under he would always say 'Check it again mate.' but not tell you how far out it was. It was never more than a dollar out, even on big returns, but if you offered him half a quid more to save doing it again, he'd say 'No thanks, I want it dead right.' All his bets were each way yankees, and if you overpaid him in the first place, due to settling at a quarter, not a fifth, you always knew as he'd put the extra change in the Barnardos box on the counter.

If I remember, it was late 1995 or early 1996, (and over the years he had some nice wins) he came in dressed as usual in his overcoat (whatever the weather) holding his walking stick that he didn't need, with a roll-up as fat as a cigar in his mouth.

This particular Saturday he was over in the corner where your own shadow goes over the form page you're trying to read. Struggling on, he was copying the horses names from the Life onto a slip, letter by letter. I could see he was having problems and asked if he was okay as the first horse race was due off soon.

'Here mate, is that an A?' he asked, so I walked out to him, looked at the horse and said.'Yes Bill, that's an A.'

He shrugged ' Cheers mate, me eyes ain''t what they used to be.'

I said for a laugh 'What did they used to be, Bill?'

He replied quick as a flash 'Blue.' and carried on writing his bet out, grinning.

He put it on and I chucked it in with the other multiples on the desk. After about 7 races had passed he had 2 winners from 2 runners, 7/2 and 5/1 I think, and as he hardly ever backed horses with double figure odds, I ignored the bet until later. About half an hour later he had got winner number 3 at 7/2.

The last horse was in the 4-50 race so I gave the bet to my boss. Firstly, because I would be settling football bets and the last race singles, and secondly, he could weigh the few quid up against any phone business on the race.

He made the same mistake as me 'only small odds' and chucked it in the pile for looking at later. Somehow, it got buried under a mass of phone bets. After the last race the boss was cheering as the favourite, beginning with the letter A, had been well beaten, and he had layed it on the phone for a nice few quid.

I said ' I suppose Bill had that jolly as well, that was his last runner, the 4-50.'

He dug it out from under the phone bets saying he had forgotten all about it.

He had a horse that started with an 'A' alright, he'd copied the first two letters correctly, then when he looked back he had copied the rest of the next horse down the card, that started with the same two letters.

It was the winner, and the SP was 100/1.

Over 2k for a 10p each way yankee.

He came in on Monday and said 'You'll never guess what I done on Saturday.'

We did.
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 20 Aug 06 10:40
Little Richard

To us, his pals, he was Lenny, but to many in the betting shops he was often referred to as Little Richard, because of his fanatical following of the rock and roll singer of that name - and especially through his impersonation of him. Lenny was a fellow of wild mood swings; in fact I can`t remember anyone else going from a state of great over excitement on the one hand, to foul temper on the other over the results of horse races. If he had had a cracking day in the shop, he would sometimes give a bopping and girating rendition of any one of a number of Little Richard songs: Long Tall Sally, Lucille, Tutti Frutti......A**bopaloobopalopbamboom........ Not a Little Richard fan myself, but I heard that one so many times in the car, pub and betting shop that I can still remember that opening line, and picture Lenny launching himself into it. The other side of the coin, however, could not have been more different. If results had gone badly and he had been cleaned out he would storm out of the betting shop and slam the door behind him.

It was basically the same when we went to the races - there would be three or four of us, with Lenny always insisting that we go in his car. This was an idea that not all of us were entirely happy with. You see, if he had had a good and profitable day, then he would be laughing and joking along with the rest of us, and occasionally would burst out into song - always a Little Richard number of course. On the other hand, a bad day would mean almost total silence from him on the journey home, and a 90mph white knuckle drive. No speed cameras nor so many speed restriction then.
I was always glad to arrive home safely, then go indoors and take something for my headache.
Lenny would go home to his saintly wife. She was what you would call, long suffering.

I havn`t seen Lenny, nor heard anything of him for many years, but often think about him whenever I see that moderate all-weather horse, Little Richard, is down to run. Lenny was quite a bit older than me, and was one of the original greasy haired rockers of the mid fifties - followers of Chuck Berry, Cliff, Elvis, Eddie Cochrane etc. Most of their generation did National Service and would be around seventy years of age now. One always imagines the crooning of the likes of Frank Sinatra, Perry Como and Nat King Cole coming from the bedroom windows of the old people`s nursing homes, but in just ten to fifteen years it will probably be drowned out by the sound of rock and roll, being played by a few of the "new generation" of residents.
In a decade or so in time, if I hear.....A**bopaloobop........being sung as I drive past one of these homes, I will know that Lenny has been admitted, and for sure, that he will have just backed a winner.
By:
andywef23i2gfhe4
When: 20 Aug 06 18:53
.
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 20 Aug 06 22:50
About ten years ago I used to frequent a betting shop that was close to a chinese restaurant, and so it attracted several of the cooks, waiters etc. One of them, a very small dishwasher called Stanley, was likeable, very chatty and would make himself known to all the regulars. His trousers often had seemingly a thousand creases in them, making it look very likely that he had slept in them. I was talking to him one afternoon and pointed out an old chain smoking chinese man who was in the same seat every afternoon with his Daily Mirror. "That`s Peter" said Stanley. "He has been working at the same job in the restaurant for over forty years and has nothing to show for it - three broken marriages, no money, just a few clothes and two suitcases. He has been coming into betting shops every day for over thirty years and, despite always working very long hours and studying the newspaper form, he has lost everything.

A year later, I realised that old Peter had not been in the shop for a few weeks - he had always been part of the furniture - so I asked Stanley where he was. Stanley told me that Peter had inherited around 250,000 from a very wealthy relative in Hong Kong, and had gone out there to live the good life.
About three years ago, and after a good absence from that shop myself, I decided to revisit the place and noticed that old Peter was back in his usual seat. Stanley came up to me in his usual inquisitive way and asked where I had been, what I been doing since he last saw me etc. After answering a few of his questions I then asked him why Peter had come back. "He has lost everything at the racetracks in Hong Kong - the entire inheritance has gone, and now he is back in his old job, working hard" was the reply. "He must be so depressed" I said. "Oh no" replied Stanley "he has been reading Confucious, and although he still can`t resist the lure of the betting shop, he is in good mental health and full of hope after reading the teachings".

So there was Peter, seventy two years of age, three broken marriages, flat broke after losing his quarter million pounds inheritance, and now having to work all hours in order to get his living - and yet he is optimistic. I told Stanley that I found it hard to believe - even allowing for the fact that he is reading the works of their greatest philosopher - that he can be so optimistic at his age, after all the misfortunes and stupidity of the past, combined with his present plight. Stanley looked at me and simply said: "Yes, but you are English - Peter is Chinese".
By:
Aspro
When: 21 Aug 06 07:41
A betting shop in the fulham road on a bank holiday afternoon in the nineties . A couple of opposition companies nearby had been robbed in the previous few weeks , so all the staff were on alert. The manager and cashiers all clocked a guy coming through the door, thin scruffy, with a large coat walking to the counter with obviously no interest in the racing. The manager met him at the counter screen and asked how he could help, the scruffy guy replied " you can start by giving me some money " despite his legs shaking the manager said " let's see it then " at which point the guy reaches into his coat and pulls out a ......

(LOL, I haven't got the next word or line, lost it in transit somewhere, perhaps the author will look in)

PIKEY JIM
Only ever a race by race punter, but one day he decides to have 66 x 50p sf doubles through the card at an evening dogs meeting. This was a small independent bookies & in the days before they had electronic tills & indeed betting slips. Bets were written on a slip of paper, handed over the counter & a ticket was given as a receipt, the other half of the ticket being stapled to the slip of paper.

Come the next day, Jim was waiting for the staff to open the shop. Youd never believe it but our Jim had picked all 12 winning forecasts & was confidently expecting to collect his winnings of just over 43k.

Unfortunately, instead of his expected windfall, poor Jim managed to cop for a 9 month stretch.

How he got caught.

Obviously the settler couldnt believe someone had picked every single winner & on closer inspection the ticket that was attached to the bet had 2 mysterious extra staple holes in it.

As it came out in court, Jim had got a pikey kid to hide in the toilets at the end of the afternoon racing & the staff locked up the shop with him still in there. Jim then went to the dogs, wrote down all the winners, went back to the shop & passed them through the letterbox to the kid inside. The kid then retrieved the original bet, replaced it with the new slip of paper & stapled the ticket to that. He then let himself out of an upstairs window.

Daft thing is, if he hadnt been so greedy & had just tried to claim 5 or 6 winners, he would probably have got away with it. Always makes me laugh when I think of this, ingenious idea, but how fkin dumb can you be, especially as there was a 4k limit on overnight bets.


Union Jack Boy
Fot those who dont remember the union jack it involved 9 selections in a

123
456
789

format. It paid out trebles in a bingo style. This particular bookies had a particularly wide betting slip. Union jack boy would wander in, and draw his own union jack on a betting slip, but instead of having just one selection in each box he would place 2 or 3, making perms all over the place. Writing times, names of horses, odds sometimes (they priced up every race at 9am) in tiny letters, he would always have something to return. Yes those penny trebles sure would add up. The top copy would be a mess of red pen as the poor settler had to work his way thru all the days bets. Of course as soon as the last race on his bet finished he would be at the counter waiting for his money. He justified this bet by saying he could cover a whole days horse/dog racing for under a tenner. Idiot.
By:
keno
When: 21 Aug 06 18:37
top
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 21 Aug 06 23:00
Reddy Teddy

Sounds like another old rock and roller doesn`t it, but not so. Ted was given this nickname because of his love of cash, and his trademark cry, "Teddy`s got the readies" when he drew a hefty amount from the cashier, or was paid from the satchel on course - he never messed around and would lay it on thick. He was a good number of years older than me, and was an old soldier who had served in Korea during that war: 1951-53, and for many years after was a very slick operator as a chief accountant with a large company, but tried it on once too often and was instantly dismissed by his boss - by way of a recorded message. We got on very well and would often meet up on course or in a betting shop - never in the pub though; I like my pint at the bar, but he hated the pub, preferring to sit at home with his wife and watch TV over a glass or two.

Getting the sack was the worst thing that ever happened to him. He really fancied his chances of making it as a pro punter and raided his bank accounts to finance the great enterprise. Travelling around the courses, he found that the expenses were soaking up any winnings, and the cash soon dried up. Next he liquidated the assurance policies and to hell with future security. Ted now had a second bite at the cherry - his bank was back up to around 50k. He decided to abandon travelling around the country and to concentrate on telephone betting and daily visits to the betting shop.
Unfortunately he hit a bad run at the start and then, disastrously, began chasing his losses. If he had a winner he would shout so long and loud that you sometimes thought the ceiling was going to come crashing down. But winners were thin on the ground. I was present when he had his final large wager - 1,000 on the even money favourite in a hunter chase. It made a shocking blunder at the second fence and the rider did well to stay aboard, but his feet were out of the irons and all chance had gone. Ted suddenly disappeared - I guessed he was going home. Still, I went out after him to try and cheer him up a bit. There he was, with his back pressed back against the wall, eyes closed and breathing really heavily - in fact, gasping for air. I thought for a moment he was having a heart attack, but he recovered after another minute or so.

Ted was now skint - there were no more reserves of cash. He did the antiques fairs and boot sales and got rid of all the antiques and collectables he had accumulated over the years. The cash raised from the sale of these went the same way as the other monies, and as they say, he was now all washed up. There was still the house left, but thankfully it is jointly owned, and his wife is looking after things on that score. I would say with some certainty that his wife saved him from himself and complete ruin because all the signs were there that he had lost control.
Ted is now well into his seventies and he and his wife survive on pensions. He says he now gets just as much fun out of a 50p yankee bet as he did out of betting in hundreds or a thousand. Is that because he no longer has the money to bet big, or is it because he has mellowed with age? I`ll hedge my bets and say it is a bit of both.
By:
Aspro
When: 22 Aug 06 07:34
MR COULDN'T TELL YOU

Sat in the bookies on derby day, Mr Couldnt tell you was in as he always was. Commander in Chief wins (I think that was its name) and all my ante-post dreams on stablemate and 4/5f Tenby were in tatters. Over he comes to me with the following. "I knew that would win, couldn't tell you before i was sworn to secrecy". I dunno why he bothered, how could the Derby of all races be a fiddle. It really didn't help and I'll never forget as he waltzed up to the counter and handed over his 1 e/w bet. I dont think it even returned a tenner.

Mr Go home my son, go home

Anyone who has ever set foot in a bookies in Burleigh St Cambridge knows this guy. I thought he was some sort of punting guru, as every time a 16/1+ shot was in the frame near the line he would boom out "go home my son, go home". How was it he could pick out all these outsiders i wondered. I shuffled near him spying on the man mountain of betting slips in his hand. Sure enough 1p e/w doubles on EVERY horse in double figures.

Irish Peter

He would be first into the shop every morning and be gone by 10am. He would wander in later that afternoon, betting slips in hand, having been drinking all morning. He stunk of alcohol. He would look at the screens, mumble a bit, and hand his slips to my mate who would check his slips. 5 yankees were his main bet. He would bet on 4 number 14s (he lived at 14) on one slip, all horses with Irish in the name as he was Irish, horses with red in it, his front door was red after all, anything just coincidental really.

One particular day he handed over a slip for my friend to check, 20/1 winner, 16/1 winner 12/1 winner, and one to run in 20 minutes 14/1. My heart has never beaten so quickly as we watched this horse crashing through almost every fence and approaching the last it was in 3rd. If it could just jump the last his e/w portion would be home and hosed, there was nothing else near it. The first horse fell, it almost bought down the second and Irish Peters horse jumped the last only to be bought down by the horse lying on the floor. Had it won (I don't think it was going to) he would've won almost 500,000. As it was he won 28k (from memory). He was happy as Larry, i think he never truly understood how much he could've won. The mind numbing effects of alcohol I guess. That bet made it onto the wall for a few weeks.

I suppose he is living proof that the scattergun approach to betting works, as he had 6 of Frankies magnificent 7 on a lucky 63 a few years later. I havent seen him for ages, I hope he is ok.




I work for sadcrooks and the day after Boxing day had to bank 4,500. When I got to the bank it was mobbed so went next door to Wetherspoons and had 2 pints of Westons cider (8%) and sorted out my horse bets for that day. Went back to the bank but was still mobbed, so popped into Billys and put a score in the roulette machine . Ended up doing 130 of my money so thought I would just borrow a bit from the banking, 800 later had a few dog bets 10 comb. tri casts managed to get one up and drew 1350 putting me 40 up. I got some stange looks from the staff as I'm only a 50p lucky 15 man normally. I now send my cashier to do the banking !!
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 23 Aug 06 10:27
Rob Roy

I was working in Aberdeen over twenty years ago and, if Perth races was not on, would often end up spending my few days off in a betting shop - usually Morrisons. I got to know quite a few of the regulars, including Andy, who had spent forty years as a top waiter in New York. He admitted coming back home with very little - mainly because of the American divorce laws, and a bit of a fondness for gambling. He said that he once calculated that over those forty years he had received at least 300,000 in tips, and reckoned, had he invested the tip money alone on the stock market or in property, he would have been worth at least 2 million. To me it seemed the only thing he retained was his Scottish accent.

Another regular was Rob, who I Christened, Rob Roy. He spoke in a machine gun-like staccato manner, and it was sometimes difficult to pick up everything he said. When he was talking to you, sentences usually ended with, or were punctuated by, the expression, "yer c_nt". It was yer c_nt this, yer c_nt that, all the time. If he spoke to you for three or four of minutes, that expression would come out at least a dozen times. Rob grew up in the tenement slums of Glasgow in the 1930`s, and so it was probably picked up as part of the everyday banter, just as**neys regularly intersperse their conversations with, "yer know" or, "know what I mean".

One Saturday I was standing in the betting shop reading the form, and two of the other customers began talking about Rob. Apparently about four years previously he had been made redundant and had received a big pay-off. However, he lost it all gambling - and in a very short space of time. This led to rows and eventual divorce from his wife. They sold the house and split the proceeds. Rob was doing his share in the betting shops, and apparently was down to his last couple of thousand. No wonder he had been in a bad mood the previous week - he was standing at the corner of the glass counter for most of the afternoon and would bang the glass and start effing and blinding at the manager and staff when yet another hot favourite got stuffed. They tolerated his behaviour because obviously they were coining it.

There was a shop that used to sell rolls and baps for just 1p each - they were from the supermarkets, and were one day past sell-by date. I used to go there myself - never could resist a bit of value - and with a slice of cheese and some pickle in them, they tasted as if fresh.
One day I met Rob in there. He came out with it all and told about his misfortunes and how stupid he`d been. How he once had a good redundancy pay-off, a house of his own and not a care. Now he had lost it all and was on the dole and living in a shared rented room. He asked me if he could borrow 30, which I gave him, even though my two-year contract was up in six weeks and I was heading back down south. After I handed over the money, I realised the prospect of getting it back was pretty slim; but I had done well for myself in Scotland, and wasn`t overly bothered, also I felt sad for Rob, who, apart from his shortcomings, was a decent fellow. He had also been muttering things like, "I feel like dipping somebody`s pockets". Things had got bad.

A few days days before I left Aberdeen I went into Morrisons` betting shop, and Rob was there. He had lost the previous weeks dole money in one day and told me he had been living off the penny rolls and tinned peaches for the past few days, and could I lend him a fiver to buy some fish and ***** I handed him the fiver, but just before he left the shop, spotted a dog that he had backed the previous week and said it had been unlucky in running. "It`s in Trap 6 today and will get a clear run" he confidently said. He walked up to the counter and put 3 on the dog - it came 4th. Rob walked out, then returned ten minuted later with just a bag of ***** That Trap 6 had obviously eaten the fish.

Four days later I drove out of Aberdeen, and although I`d be badly missing beautiful Perth - the racecourse and the City - I would be returning to my familiar stamping grounds of Ascot, Newbury Sandown etc. It had been a hard but very worthwhile two years, and I felt good. It could sometimes be tough being an Englishman working up there (perhaps relations are better now), and, apart from a couple of nasty incidents, I got on ok.
I havn`t since returned to see "the lights of old Aberdeen" but shall do so one day when I revisit Perth. I suppose I`ll then have to call into the betting shops and see if I can find Rob. Perhaps he`ll be having a good day and return my 35.
If he`s having a really good day, I`ll tell him that the loan was linked to the annual rate of inflation - err, that`s twenty three years at an average of 6%......that`s.........
By:
Isle of Tights
When: 23 Aug 06 11:50
Roy ''The Bore''--Youngsters beware!!
On the face of it a nice enough fellow and was watching him(must have been about 20, I suppose) and he had a nice pick up on some f/c doubles. Started chatting as kids are easily impressed and he gave me a rundown of how the 5th and the 7th races were UNLUCKY(a word Roy overused in years to come) as he had a 1st&3rd and a 2nd&3rd......eh!???
Over the years he seemed to plague me with his BADLUCK stories and being a Northerner he would pronounce loser as ''LOWZA'-a dreaded phrase to me now.........
Try and avoid this type of Punter kids, as boredom may be terminal!!!!!!!!!!!!
By:
Cosmo Kramer
When: 23 Aug 06 12:14
Has there ever been a sitcom set in a bookies?

With all these characters we would never run out of material.
By:
Isle of Tights
When: 23 Aug 06 13:27
Yes it's called Eastenders.
Fick Nuckalldragger Fill was offering Evens a boy and 2/1 a girl.........DERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
By:
Aspro
When: 24 Aug 06 08:34
Jack The Hat

Local wino. Three sheets to the wind daily by 11am, looked a right state too. So named for the ridiculous trilby he always wore in all weathers, despite the fact that he looked like a tramp and his clothes were filthy. Would come in my shop in various states of drunkeness to have a punt and back something in every single race. Amazingly though he would generally punt at least a bottle at a time, usually a monkey, retrieving his balled up wedge of cash from his sock where he kept it! he'd stick the slip on the counter & then disappear from sight to retrieve said cash from his sock, then dump a screwed up ball of notes on the counter for me to count out (he was always to drunk to be able to count). He'd disappear from the shop every 10 mins to go get another drink & then come back again, until he got to the stage where he couldn't so much as pick up a slip, let alone write on it, so he'd come to the counter, slur & dribble his way through what he wanted expecting you to write it down, then do the usual disappearing from sight to retrieve the ball of cash from his sock which again, he would have to shove on the counter for me to count out. He'd do all his cash & stagger out again, only to be waltzing through the front door at 10.30am the next day!


SKINTY JOHN

In a central london *******, near an office of mine in the late 90s, I got to know a young lad named Skinty John, a rail-thin black man in his late 20s. He was smart, well-spoken; I remember he loved World War I histories, and would always be lugging a thick book along with the R.Post. Anyway, his favourite line was, "I'm dead broke." He'd tell everyone within earshot, "I'm dead broke," as if it was a sudden development, though I never knew him to have more than a pound or two to his name. Anyway, if I was having an all right day, I'd slip him a pound or two, which he'd proceed to **** away on a greyhound race. He'd always bet the dogs and he'd always bet the tricasts, and always str8 up. Being a decent capper, he'd inevitably get two or even three of the dogs picked right but not in the right order.

Anyway, one Friday evening in summer, I walk in to the shop and I'm shocked to see Skinty John holding court, waving around a ludicrously fat rolled wad of cash, mostly 50s, tied with a thick rubber band. He's drunk (something I had never seen before), and he runs up to me, practically hugs me, shows off his bank wad, and proceeds to tell me that he started the day betting the first BAGs race that morning and hit four str8 tricasts, and he magically kept running it up by betting higher and higher stakes. The dog races roll on, and he's betting like a madman. There's a crowd of his soused mates around, egging him on, and he's betting the dogs as usual -- only now he's graduated to 10 and 20 pound str8 tricasts.

"This is madness," I tell him. "Take the money and go home -- now"

He shoots me one of those looks. His mates just ridicule me. The two old men behind the class just smile and shake their heads as Skinty John keeps shoving the cash through the slot.

I can't bear to watch this lunacy and so I pick up and leave.

The next Monday, I stop in the shop late in the afternoon, and sure enough Skinty John is there, sober as a judge, studying the greyhound form. He greets me with a forlorn smile and these words, "I'm dead broke." Turns out he did his bankroll that evening, and spent the weekend in the shop, nursing his hangover and bumming 50p coins
By:
Aspro
When: 24 Aug 06 08:34
Willy from Loughgilly (reprise)


Willy passed away on Friday evening, aged 57. He had been complaining of a pain in the back and was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas which had spread to his liver, 10 days before his death. He never drank or smoked and hadn`t been in hospital since he was born. He was a harmless guy who lived alone with his brother. He walked the 25 miles round trip from Loughgilly to Newry every day, without fail, for as long as I can remember ( circ. 25 years ). He would have done so when the troubles were at their most severest and Willy, being a protestant, would have been treading on the most dangerous ground imagineable, yet he would have told you that he never had as much as a dirty look in all those years.
By:
Aspro
When: 24 Aug 06 08:35
Thanks to all these characters mentioned, their posters, and also those who never had names at the start of their posts.

The Sentry

CATWEAZEL

THE FORECASTER

The Muppet

LOTTO LADY

The Fortune Teller

HARRY THE LIAR (R.I.P.)

FRANKIES FAN

THE DISGRACE

ROBERT 'CRACKERJACK' AGIMBO.

DAMBUSTER

SMELLIE NELLIE

FAVOURITE BACKERS

GEORGE THE GREEK.

THE RACE COMMENTATOR

THE CARTOON RACE AFFICIONADO

MARKET GEORGE

LUCKY FRED

NENINIT (silent T)

MAD VIC

COLIN

THE PICNIC BOYS

GEORGE

BERN

PUFFING BILLY

JONAH

THE HOGGER

MR HIEROGLYPHICS

'EAVY 'ANDED 'ARRY

MR SQUINTS

MR.5P DOUBLES

THE DANCER

GRAND NATIONAL PUNTER

MR THANKING YOU

MICK THE BUTCHER

Hans (rip)

The Guy who likes to look like he is a shrewdie

Piggy in the middle

CHOCOLATE TASH

THE GRIM REAPER

SNOTTY RON

THE ARMY AND NAVY GIRLS

OXY YEN

ALL ON JIM

superstitious sally

FORM BOOK FRED

Big Stewie.

HAPPY DAYS

Yellow nutkin

AYRTON SENNAPOD

The Toilet man

Betty Etfair

The Kfin Dog Owner

BIG COL

"Odds on" Theo

THE SYNDICATE WATCHER

The CHIP SHOP MAN

Terry

SLIPPERS

SICK MICK *****

NERVOUS DOG FORECAST MAN

MAXXIE

NANNYGOAT PLACE

MAKE ME LUCK BOSS

10p SHORT

MONEY GONE, MONEY GONE

The Accountants

Charlie the Chinaman

SHY

THE FINE GENTLEMAN

THE EX-JOCKEY

THE BANK MANAGER

AUGUSTO

THE PRODIGY

DANGER HORSE

FIGGIS

EYES IN BACK OF HEAD MAN

THE DOGGY MEN

Typically Tropical

One Out Tom.......

The Professional........

Colonel Klink

Finally, from Oz, Ronnie

'IT'LL BUY ME A COFFEE'

The Knitter

RAY

JOAN COLLINS !

'JOES MUMS MATE'

MAKE UP LADY

STINKY NIGE

Time Lord

PIKEY JIM

JUST PICK 7

Union Jack Boy

MR COULDNT TELL YOU

Mr Go home my son, go home

Irish Peter

Jack The Hat

'IS THAT AN A?' Formerly known as ' CHECK IT AGAIN PLEASE MATE.' (R.I.P.)

SKINTY JOHN
By:
Aspro
When: 24 Aug 06 08:38
TEN2FOLLOWER 29 Jan 20:28
Excellent thread everyone. Many of these stories are good enough for publishing. With all of these phone and internet accounts we are going to lose these types of people. Bookies shops are changing for the worse with all of the Burberry gang on the machines.

I am going to print this thread off before it dies. But lets keep it on screen for as long as possible


TheBigDogg 29 Jan 21:07
Best thread in BF history, as I've said.
These stories should be published.
Well done, everyone


BillKiller 29 Jan 21:09
The fees for the copyright issues would keep Orioles in wigs for the rest of his life.

Delightful 30 Jan 01:57
AITL, I've been told to tell you this, "Great thread big man, Sabre approves and will add some when he comes back".


kingbrief 30 Jan 14:34
ROBERT 'CRACKERJACK' AGIMBO.
Has just knocked Oliver Reed off 10th spot in my own personal 'Greatest People Of All-Time' list
.

Tommy Toes 30 Jan 14:48
King brief, I've already asked AITL to pass on my regards to Crackerjack the next time he sees him, on another thread.

(I told him Tommy)
He's obviously a great bloke

Thanks to all concerned.
By:
Tommy Toes
When: 25 Aug 06 00:37
A superb thread. One that needs saving.
By:
CanaryYellow
When: 25 Aug 06 14:09
I was Union Jack Boy. Coming to think of it didnt i write that too?
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 25 Aug 06 20:28
Irish/Canadian Pat

I have attended the winter racing at the Florida tracks quite a few times, so there is too much to write about, so I`ll stick to the visit I made about eighteen years ago, when I teamed up with an Irishman who had lived in Canada for the previous twenty years. He was a 55 year old single man - very tall and thin as a rake. Unfortunately Pat suffered from diabetes and had to go away from time to time to give himself an insulin injection. He used to go down to Florida every winter to get away from the cold Canadian winters.
When in Canada, he was a bloodstock agent to a couple of very wealthy Canadians of Irish extraction. I asked Pat what was the most he had spent on a yearling. His reply was, $400,000. "Was it any good", I asked. "No" was the reply - he was a man of few words. "Did any of your purchases turn out to be good class horses"?, I enquired. Again, "no" was the reply. Crikey, I thought, I`ve been in the wrong job all these years. He was based at Greenwood - one of the best Canadian racecourses.

Pat was a member of the Total Abstinence Society, and never smoked or drank alchohol. However, he certainly more than made up for missing out on those vices, with another sin - gambling. I`ve never seen a gambling addict like him. He claimed to have no property or possessions, save the few neccessities he had brought with him to Florida. Every day he was dressed in a thick charcoal grey or navy blue cotton suit, clean shirt and tie, and highly polished black shoes. I suppose I used to dress up a bit myself - I`ve always believed in looking smart at the races. As a pair, we must have stood out like a sore thumb among all the other tropically dressed racegoers. The many Americans who I got to know used to call me England.

I travelled over to the United States on a 90 day visa. I went racing on 88 of those days - the only two days I missed was the day I arrived, and the day I departed. My motel - owned by a very friendly German lady - was just a ten minute bus ride from Gulf Stream Park Racetrack - much further of course to Calder and Hialeah. The last named has, I think, closed. To get to Hialeah you had to go down a street unoffically named "Crack Alley", so called because of the drug dealing in that area. Many racegoers were mugged and left badly beaten by the gangs of addicts - quite a few were killed. It was a beautiful racecourse, and in times gone by was the racecourse preferred by the socialites, actors and glamorous actresses.

Pat was always on the bus when I got on; we never said very much until we arrived at the track - I admit I often had a bit of a hangover. The entrance fee for the day was dirt cheap. I had bought a book of tickets for the whole meeting and it worked out at about $1 a day - my 3 month bus ticket was equivalent to 65 cents per day, so in sterling terms, transport costs and entry came to around 1 per day.
There were of course lots of local racegoers, or fans, as they called themselves, and some quite amusing ones too. One who used to make me laugh was a guy who I nicknamed, "Bigshot". He always dressed loud: white clothes, spats over his shoes, huge gold rings and bracelets, gold rimmed glasses and a big cigar. He never talked in dollars; it was never less than millions, and would often progress into billions - ten billion, 20 billion and ever upwards, and as loud as you like; always complaining about the lack of big owners, like those of old - the Whitneys, Vanderbilts, Rockefellers etc. We eventually became irritated by him, but had a good laugh in the end when it was discovered that he was a warehouse labourer.

We would always go for a meal before racing began. Pat would often talk about his times in Ireland; he was friendly with all the big, long established names - the O` Briens, Dreapers, Weld, Magnier, Oxx etc. He had never been back to his home country once since he left, and one day said he would love to return. Quite why he had never been back to visit I don`t know, and I never asked. He introduced me to some of his Canadian friends - mostly trainers and a few jockeys. They included one of the Doyles - father is famous bloodstock dealer, Jack Doyle; top jockeys Sandy Hawley and Dave Penna are names I also remember.

I got to know a few of the track trainers - one or two who`s knowledge, it has to be said, of horses, the training of horses, and the sport in general could be written on the back of a postage stamp. I asked one of them, Bill, how he managed to get owners, despite the fact he never trained winners. He said: "I just bull_hit my way around". Bill introduced me to an ex trainer who had the good fortune to train a Kentucky Derby winner. He was now totally skint - and looked it. Rumour was that he had become a "Stooper". These are the men who stay behind after the racing has finished and walk along the stands and concourse, stooping down all the time to pick up the discarded Pari Mutuel tickets, and then taking them home to sort through later (probably all night, looking at the bagloads some of them took away) hoping to find some winning tickets - quite a regular occurence apparently.

Another fellow I got to know well was Bob. He used to eat and sleep the game - reckoned he was a pro punter, or professional handicapper as they are known in the States. Paddy, myself and Bob would usually stand together at paddockside. Bob was a nice bloke and a character and, in his southern drawl, would chivvy-up every jockey in every race as he passed by on his mount: "Go get em Larry, you`re lookin good Jerry, Mr Jean Cruget - mighty fine, all the best Bobby - bring him on home" etc.
Bob`s pro punting did not stand the test of time, however, as three years later, when I next bumped into him on the racecourse he was selling the Daily Racing Form from a news stand. He also earned extra cash by leading up some of the horses from the barns down behind the backstretch to the paddock for a few dollars.

When the racing began, Paddy would go into overdrive; he would start off by doing the Pick 6, Pick 3, and on each individual race he would do the Trifecta and Perfecta - he would then add these selctions to others in the race and would Box them, Wheel them and God knows what else. He so seldom made a profit on a race, and regularly drew a blank. He used to get so excited during a race, swaying around like a tall tree; he also had the unfortunate habit during a tight finish of violently shanking the change inside his trouser pocket, so that for all the world he gave the appearance of committing an obscene act.
If it was a photo, we would go inside and watch the replay. In the betting hall there was a little Hispanic who used to always be shouting at the top of his voice and giving a vituoso performance - holding up his fingers and playing to the hispanic section. It seemed as if he was acting as bookmaker and taking bets on the outcome. Pat would wind him up when he disagreed. One day, Pancho (I named him after the Cisco Kid`s sidekick) got mad with Pat and spat at him and called him a Ratfink (an American insult name). Pat threw down $50 dollars on the floor as a bet. The hispanic threw his fifty. The result was then announced - Pat was right. However, the hispanic claimed he had nominated the winner. They started to wrestle, but security men arrived and they were both taken away and warned that if they breached the gaming rules again they would be handed over to the police and that full charges would be brought against them both. As it was, they were banned from the course for a day.

Pat could be very argumentative sometimes, but that was just his way. We both were fans of the works of William Shakespeare and were always throwing quote`s from plays at each other during the day. For instance, if he said something like: "Jack looks very smart today", I would reply: "The apparel oft proclaims the man", and if I said, "I can`t believe my horse lost that photo, I`m almost speechless, he would say: "speak man, give sorrow words, the grief that whispers to the o`er fraught heart and bids it break". It was great fun. He was very into high culture and loved opera and religious music. I once asked him what was the greatest moment in his life, and he replied: "being at St Paul`s Cathedral and listening to Beniamano Gigli singing the Panis Angelicus" (a solemn but very tuneful piece of music sung at times during catholic Mass - I think. I`m a protestant).

After the last race had been run, Pat and two Canadian pals would then jump into a car and speed off to either Hollywood or Flagler dog tracks for another fourteen races to wager on - well pat would be anyway. I went with them on the odd occasion, and it wasn`t really for me - not after so many horse races anyway. Pat, however, would be firing with both barrels, as usual. He was always cashing in cheques. I never asked him about his finances, but the losses must have been horrendous.

We saw some good horses that year: Unbridled won the Florida Derby, and went on to win a leg of the Triple Crown - I think, and Sunday Silence beat Easy Goer in the Breeder`s Cup Classic. The 2nd`s rider, Pat Day got a rough ride from the punters, as they adjudged him to have ridden a bad race. For the next two days sections of the crowd booed him as he came out onto the track for each race. When I asked one of the more knowledgeable punters why they insisted in continually jeering Pat Day, he replied, "ah, that`s the two dollar punters doing that".
Unbridled has turned out to be a top class sire, and Sunday Silence a great one - in Japan.
On a sad note that season, two grooms were shot dead in their sleeping accomation. I cannot remember whether it was Gulf Stream or Calder.The latter, I think. What the motive for the killings was I never found out

I called my daily Florida routine the 5 B`s:-
1. Breakfast
2. Beach
3. Betting
4. Bar Rooms
5. Bed

Prior to going out to Florida on that occasion, I`d had some fairly bad times, business and personal, but that three months completely cleared out my head of all the bad stuff, and I arrived back in Blighty to begin the struggle again.
I tried later to contact Pat, but to no avail and never saw him again in later visits. I feared the worst, as he sometimes looked so unwell - obviously the debilitating affects of the diabetes. He made my visit that year so much more lively and enjoyable than it would have been had I not met him. I often think about Pat. He loved horses, and the racing - sometimes. He once said he hated the game for what it had done to him financially and personally, but would then say, "A bad day at the races is better than a good day at the football match". He was a great character.
By:
Tommy Toes
When: 27 Aug 06 00:41
Great story, Henry.
By:
oggsbog
When: 27 Aug 06 01:13
Henry, that was one of those posts that looks excessively long when you first view it, but then you decide to read through it properly, and feel humbled that you ever doubted the experience would be worthwhile.

Wonderful post. Thank you.
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 27 Aug 06 09:16
Thanks men. I have written my postings as a racegoer and betting shop punter only, and have never worked for a bookmaker, unlike so many on this excellent thread who have been shop managers for many years and have been used to dealing with lots of strange and colourful characters, with their often extreme and eccentric behaviour. It is a job that must require a lot of patience. It is doubtful if there is any other sport in the world which throws together such rich diversity from the broad spectrum of humanity. Betting shop managers would probably make good psychoanalysts. Good luck.
By:
Tommy Toes
When: 28 Aug 06 20:41
"Betting shop managers would probably make good psychyoanalysts"
You may well have a good point there, Henry.
By:
batleyboy
When: 29 Aug 06 23:08
.
By:
Young Inca
When: 13 Sep 06 15:31
Saving
By:
Tommy Toes
When: 14 Sep 06 00:11
Great retrieval.
This is one of (if not the best) threads to appear on Chit Chat.
It should be here permanently for people to enjoy.
Whether for new forumites to enjoy, or for people to reread it.
It certainly beats 99% of the tripe that is on here lately.
By:
Flantastic
When: 14 Sep 06 11:43
where is aitl ?
By:
Tommy Toes
When: 15 Sep 06 00:16
Unfortunately, he's been permanently banned, Flan. This forum needs him reinstated .
By:
J P McEnroe 81
When: 15 Sep 06 00:29
Definitely.Bring him back!
By:
HENRY the Seventh
When: 15 Sep 06 11:17
John The Philosopher

I first got to know John in the mid sixties. He was in his middle fifties, not well dressed, but the same few clothes he wore were always clean. He either rode his moped, or an old black bike which had a basket on the front - I never knew him to catch a bus. He smoked, drank and gambled - all three in moderation. His beer was always in half pint glasses, making one half last a long time. His roll-ups would come from other people`s discarded dog-ends. John would quite unashamedly go round to all the ash trays in the pub and pick out any dog-ends and store them in his old tobacco tin, and would repeat this trick a second time later on. Nobody seemed to take any notice of this habit, but then I suppose John and his generation would have been around in the 1920/30`s inter-war years during the Great Depression when this sort of thing would probably have been quite normal.

John`s horse racing bets consisted of around thirty selections per day from the two cards - two daily mid-week fixtures was then the average. He would scribble his selections on two or three old scraps of paper, with squares, circles, loops and arrows all over the place, together with abbreviations showing the different combination bets - Up and Down, Round Robins, Any To Come etc. It would have been impossible for anyone else but him to decipher the instructions.

John had lived in cheap lodgings for years with an elderly couple. Apparently he had never showed the slightest interest in women - he definitely wasn`t gay. John was almost certainly what was once known as a "neuter", someone who has no interest whatsoever in s-x, and fills his leisure time with alternative interests - in John`s case, smoking, drinking and gambling.

His occupation for most of his life was working on the dustbin rounds - in the days when they had to lift and carry heavy metal bins loaded with anything and everything, including ashes. It was hard and heavy work on the rounds, and over thirty years of lifting and swinging those bins up on his right shoulder had worn out John`s right hip and damaged his lower vertibrae. He was awarded a generous compensation package and pension by the council and never had to work again.

John was a bit of a philosopher on the side - in the simplest of terms - and was always coming out with his usual doom-laden sayings, such as: "If ICI doesn`t get you, then The Bomb will", referring to the east-west tensions of the time and the big chemicals firm, which was causing scares then with some toxic leaks. He had lots of sayings and would have a habit of talking to you in riddles too - especially when taking his regular pinches of snuff, which would be heartily snorted up each nostril, quickly followed by the hankerchief being flicked back and forth under the nose - stand well back. He rarely looked at you when in conversation, and often had the appearance of being in another world.

John used to drive the local bookie mad with his bets. This bookmaker was a real Timothy Tightar-e, with no chairs or carpet provided - just a concrete floor and a hard bench, no TV to view BBC or ITV coverage. There were no betting slips to freely take - you had to ask for them. They were blank pieces of poor quality paper, and when you wrote out the bet, you would hand it over and it would be put through the till, which produced to small receipts - one for you, and one to be stapled to the betting slip, which was retained by the bookie.
In the wintertime there was no proper heating, just an old parafine heater which seemed to give out more fumes than heat. Perhaps that was the idea - get the punters drowsy and stupified so that they will not be able to interpret the form properly.

Whenever John walked in, this bookmaker`s face would drop. John would always ask for six slips. It would sometimes take an hour for him to write out his myriad of 5p combination bets (240 pence to the back then), and the bookie would wearily put them through his till. After John left, this bookmaker would sometimes say something like: "He`s hard work, I can`t beat him - always seems to get a big priced winner alongside several short ones in at least one of his bets and it takes me longer to go through his slips during the afternoon than the bets of a dozen other punters put together".

In his own small way, John not only waged financial war on the bookmakers, but a psychological one too. "Don`t let the bug-ers grind you down" was one of his favourite and oft repeated sayings. He certainly knew how to grind down this particular bookie. John was a good man, if a little odd, with his own special brand of philosophy on life. He was considered an eccentric by many. Maybe, but still a bit too clever for some.
By:
the £100 000 000 question
When: 15 Sep 06 17:00
.QUALITY NOT ONE BAD READ.
By:
AM I TOO EARLY
When: 01 Oct 06 17:27
Trying to find the last SUPREME QUIZ quiz thread, not found it yet, but found this...:)
By:
johnn
When: 01 Oct 06 20:44
A fantastic thread, a credit to all who have contributed. Well done.
By:
cannyman
When: 01 Oct 06 20:51
Thank you johnn, still think Lucky Fred is the best.
By:
johnn
When: 01 Oct 06 20:52
Worrying how many lunatics were called John, cannyman :^O
By:
cannyman
When: 01 Oct 06 20:53
lol, just read Henry's piece which I hadn't before. Very well written and nicely described.
By:
AM I TOO EARLY
When: 01 Oct 06 22:46
Henrys stories are longish, but well worth reading.
By:
Tommy Toes
When: 02 Oct 06 21:10
They are.
Page 5 of 22  •  Previous | 1 | ... | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | ... | 22 | Next
sort by:
Show
per page

Post your reply

Text Format: Table: Smilies:
Forum does not support HTML
Insert Photo
Cancel
‹ back to topics
www.betfair.com