BETTING SHOP CHARACTERS (reprinted by request)

That £950 must have done his liver the world of good.

I guarantee you could walk into a betting shop you last visited 25/30 years ago and recognise a face

Unlikely at my  former local its been fishmongers for the past two years.

Mine is now a cab office.

Saved from dying in the changeover.

Fantatic story squueze ( about the 950/1 winner )

It is, but I can't recall who posted it.

ttt

Up for Dobbo's new post

The boardmarkers thread reminded me of this.

One of our shops had a manager named Bill, but for some reason everybody called him Scobie. He looked nothing like Scobe Breasley or any jockey I know, he was short and fat. Before Saturday afternoons were over, he would have a pile of bets in front of him and be well behind with his settling because of arguing with customers who used to wind him up on purpose.

His desk used to face the security bars, and the board, which was out in the shop,  The boardman, named Sammy, was in his 60s, and he wasn't that quick going from one end to the other from the shows to the results. One of the wags in the shop once said to him 'Stay down there for the shows and I'll put up a few results for you.' He put a few correct results up, then put up a few dodgy ones to match his 10p patent

Unknown to the joker, somebody else in the shop had the same 3 horses in a larger stake yankee. Bill found the bet and saw what he thought was running up on the 4th horse, and phoned the boss at one of our other shops.

He looked at the results, went mad at Bill over the phone and arrived at the shop in less than 10 minutes to see what was going on. The bloke who wrote the results up had gone, but the punter w2ho had the yankee had no idea what was happening as he was in the pub at the top of the road. 

We had three cashiers/boardmarkers with the same surname, Stone, all from Plaistow, and none of them were related.

14 Aug 2005

Aberdeen 3 - 2 Rangers
HT 2 - 1 FT 3 - 2  

Russell Anderson (30)Steve Lovell (37)Jamie Smith (88)
Dado Prso (39)Peter Lovenkrands (49)Fernando Ricksen (s/o 55)

???

regarding post from skulduggery 20 Dec 1158pm

???

I agree with Kenny Mann

A more modern one, a guy named, Michael Murray uses the local Baldyfred shop, Hes a large lad ,scottish and full of wit and gift of the gab, anyway he hadnt been in for about 6 months and then turned up again, cashier asked him where had he been, and he said in jail. Why , was the inquisitive reply from the cashier. He said that he,d been to the shop that hires out costumes for fancy dress events and got himself a policemans outfit, He then went to the local dogging area and took a notebook and went round the cars and gave people a £60 fixed penalty notice to be paid immediately, if so nothing would be said about it or followed up, Apparently people were easily fooled and he made a right few quid, things went wrong on the third occasion when the real police arrived and he was arrested for impersonating a policeman, he proudly showed the tag which was still round his ankle.

Hahaha!

Brilliant.

lol, nearly as good as the Lucky Fred post.

Was hoping the story ended with him trying to fine a copper £60.

funny

This happened to me a couple of months ago in donny corals, the one opposite the frenchgate . Anyone who uses it will probably know this fella . As i walked in the shop there was a motor scooter parked up inside, looked something like a 125cc . I thought wtf!, must be a member of staffs, surely they would not allow a customer to leave it there . No one seemed bothered by this or the smell of petrol, after a while an asian fella caught my eye as i was looking at the scooter and said "its getting ridiculous, i'm going to stop coming in" as he walked away i noticed he had no shoes or socks on, i looked around but could not see any footwear, after a while i spotted tucked away in a corner 2 bags of shopping with a pair of shoes at the side, when i left a while later he was still wandering around barefoot .

Local Laddies, two blokes who have known each other for years always sit together to watch the dogs, one older than the other is a millionaire, bets in 20's but hates anyone in the shop winning, used to be you would get a back show in certain bookies inc this shop anyway the younger bloke gets asked by the older guy every time he has a bet " who have you backed " " what price did you get " this has been going on for years, the younger bloke tells the older one " trap 6 " when he has backed trap 3 & always says I got 3/1 ( its been cut to 5/2 ) after putting his bet on the younger bloke whispers in the older blokes ear " keep it to yourself about the back show otherwise it will all get stopped " the older bloke goes into the shop early the next day before the younger bloke gets there & asks the staff " why are you giving back shows to my mate but not to me" what the older bloke does not know is the younger one has spoken to all the staff telling them that he tells his so called mate he gets a back show when he actually doesn't, he has asked the older staff to go along with the charade & for the last six months he thinks the younger one gets a back show to wind him up he said the bloke is stinking rich, is a miserable old sod & if I can wind him up on a regular basis then he deserves all he gets.

good to see this fred again ,also "dodgiest betting shops " by goggles  was a cracking thread that be good to bump !

It's about mid 1970s and I am trainer manager at an independent and one of the managers who I worked with was heavily into gambling and the float, likeable chap though,spit of Rigsby from Rising Damp. Every morning he would be there, Sporting Chronicle & Sporting life strewn on his desk studying form. Anyway one day he phones all the managers saying I have had a dream that this horse wins @ 10/1, the horse was called Billy Liar (I think), anyway all the managers have a tickle and sure enough this thing wins @ 10/1......only to get chucked out in the stewards. All the managers are phoning him up giving him loads of greif and he says "The fcuking missus, I'm gonna kill her, she woke me uo before the weigh in!!"

Nice to see AM I TOO EARLY, sevenone, Big Charlie, JackCole, SqueezeFirmly and mr winkle back.

You have to go to actually come back Kenny

Hilarious thread

Great to see this National Treasure back on display.

lol pumpy

Great thread this

may have put this story on the dodgiest betting shop fred  ,memories not as good as it once was  but hers the gist of it  , back in the 1980s or early 90s , I got lumbered with a dodgy £20, I must have been well pissed or stoned or probably both  when I was passed it as it was such a bad forgery that stevie fookin wonder would have refused it , anyway I attempted  to do  the right thing and repatriate it but it was no fooking good no fecker would take it shops, pubs, bookies, kebab shops , I tried the lot all to no avail . after a while I gave up flogging a dead horse no one would take the dodgy score so just  kept it in my wallet.
one day I was in my local bookies  with a mate and think we n had done our  dough and was as bored as fook so decided to have a bit of fun with the moody score ,got my mate to sit on the benches facing me while I  put the £20 note on the floor and stood on it making sure my boot had about 80% covered with just a tantalising portion of the score on show under my boot I was also leaning against the waist high benches that you write the bets out on and holding on to the bench gave me a good steady pressure on the £20  note,  the plan was as soon as there was any interest in the £20  my  mate would give me a  signal .e he would raise one of those betting shop pens to his mouth if any interest was shown in the score .
sure enough after a few minuets the signal goes up and we have action ,some dodgy bastard has dropped his newspaper on the floor right by my foot and he is making out to pick it up and leaning against me trying to get me to move so he can get the score but I am sitting tight and can feel the fooker tugging on the score trying to release it but I just increased the pressure on my foot and sat tight pretending to be  watching the racing on the screens after a few mins the dodgy  fooker gave up ,but it wasn't over as a few minuets later  he tried a different tactic  ,he is standing by the racecards on the wall and says to me in an attempt to get me to move ,"excuse me can you tell me what the favourite is in the 3.15 as I haven't brought my glasses with me and cant see properlly ..............i says sorry mate cant help ya i cant read .to cut a long story short this went on for ages with a few different dodgy fookers trying to nick the score,not one of the fookers had the decency to say "excuse me mate buti think you have dropped a score on the floor  !  ........... just goes to show what a fookin dishonest lot punters are ! fookin disgrace imo

Great story Foyle. I bet you got more than £20 of enjoyment out of it.

We had the one in our shop where the corner is torn from a note and glued to the inside of an envelope with most of it sticking out.

Or years ago, sticking a £1 coin to the floor with superglue.

Foyle

I been absent from the forum for some time due to various reasons having got back to some normallity logged in to see this  grand old thread was still going strong,your posting of the dodgy note episode was probably one the funniest i have ever read on here and believe me i have read a few the smile on my face and laughter was a lovely tonic.Thankyou

Foyle

I been absent from the forum for some time due to various reasons having got back to some normallity logged in to see this  grand old thread was still going strong,your posting of the dodgy note episode was probably one the funniest i have ever read on here and believe me i have read a few the smile on my face and laughter was a lovely tonic.Thankyou

Foyle

I been absent from the forum for some time due to various reasons having got back to some normallity logged in to see this  grand old thread was still going strong,your posting of the dodgy note episode was probably one the funniest i have ever read on here and believe me i have read a few the smile on my face and laughter was a lovely tonic.Thankyou

bleedin shakes

Hello Huggy, chin up mate.

This was a great thread when it first appeared, the bloke who thought of it must have been a genius.

The original ran for quite a while but was taken off by moderators 10 years ago.   

Well worth a read for newcomers, these are from (mostly) ex-betting shop managers from all over the UK, and include stories from racecourses in Oz.

glad it gave you a lift huggy ,hilarious at the time !

I don't think TSO found it funny though. Would have been his biggest ever lift in a bookies.

Good to see you posting again Huggy mate, hope you are coping OK. The very best of British to you.

This tremendous thread would be gratefully received on the horse racing forum

It was, 10 years ago.

.

i knew a kid who worked in a mecca shop in church lane east finchley.
this was a pokey little shop and the manager/settler would be in a back room and no one could see him.
well this kids sitting there oblivious to whats going on when the cashier starts screaming so manager runs out to witness the board man standing on a ladder with his trousers round his ankles having a handy shandy whilst some old dear is writing out a bet.
to make matters worse there was a horse called rix-woodcock running at the same time and a couple of punters were shouting give it some **** and of course the boardman blows his beans and showers the old dear.
manager calls area office and they dont believe him and think hes been drinking.
after an investigation they sack the boardman.
2 weeks later police call mecca and enquire about boardman as he got a job in a petrol station and one night a girl pulled in and he run out from behind the counter stark bollok naked saying let me fill you up.
and i am sure meccas slogan was where the customer comes first

Almost spat my beer out.

.
http://community.betfair.com/horse_racing/go/thread/view/94102/27602321/dodgiest-uk-betting-shops?pg=2

Read through all this until 3:30 this morning. Excellent.

The one about the old Chinese man that gambled away all his inheritance was pretty deep.

Glimmer's JK Rowling moment

quality thread great read

ttt

This AITL chap deserves a knighthood for this thread.

I'll have a word in Her Majesty's shell-like.

ttt

You mean characters like this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3aDO8P-BAM

ilikewavingatbuses - that is a good forum name!

A want me munny back. How many times did he say that. Feckin mug givin punters a bad name.

the even funnier thing is aka - someone put birmingham actually beat
liverpool that weekend so all the time he had a winner in his hand

Great to see J P McEnroe 81 and custardcream64 back.

Probably best thread ever to appear on the betfair forum

Good thread it looks, only just started reading it but the
first thing that springs to mind is how are the posts posted so
close to each other - no one could type & think that quick

Ron-Russian
Date Joined:    18 Dec 10
Add contact | Send message
27 Mar 16 20:12 Joined: 18 Dec 10 | Topic/replies: 6,267 | Blogger: Ron-Russian's blog
ilikewavingatbuses - that is a good forum name! LaughLaugh


Thanks mate

Copy/pasted already i guess

Yes there was a thread before but got taken down for some reason.

Its a classic, like Pumphol says, the best  thread on the entire forum imo, and you know they're real people, brilliant.

Glimmer's finest.

It's a good thread but maybe not the best.

I like SDK's one about tracking down two druggies that had nicked a car, think it was his daughter's. ' As I strode towards them they suddenly realized that odds of two against one were not so good' and... 'I reached for my waistband and pulled out the gun'  Still makes me laugh thinking about that more than 10 years on

Other great ones like the day in the life of a betfair employee and many more. Glimmer's is probably top ten though.

He will be pleased to hear that

Been some beauties over the years. agree with the day in the life one and laugh when remembering the share Setana one as well.

Mar 27, 2016 -- 6:09PM, pumphol. wrote:

He will be pleased to hear that

And so he should be

2
"day in life"
must be a ken/minja creation ?

It was Frasier

0h ok

ttt

Great, many thanks,



Jon

There you go.

deserved bump.

BETTING SHOP CHARACTERS

Have they all gone now?

well worth dipping into again

one of the best threads ever

you get a lot of screamers in the bookies... get up there.. come on get up there.. yes, go on ya b***ard - do it... do it. yes yes... fk no, what are you doing... no no. fk me nooooooooooooooo. ya knut.

i like to place a bet and walk out. i'll scream at home.

Happy Xmas forumites best fred ever this is.

I think zorro getting the bookies mixed up with his last visit to a soho cinema.

LOL, Aspro

A betting shop in the fulham road on a bank holiday afternoon in the nineties . A couple of opposition companies nearby had been robbed in the previous few weeks , so all the staff were on alert. The manager and cashiers all clocked a guy coming through the door, thin scruffy, with a large coat walking to the counter with obviously no interest in the racing. The manager met him at the counter screen and asked how he could help, the scruffy guy replied " you can start by giving me some money " despite his legs shaking the manager said " let's see it then " at which point the guy reaches into his coat and pulls out a ......

(LOL, I haven't got the next word or line, lost it in transit somewhere, perhaps the author will look in


Aspro, he put a plastic bag on the counter which clearly had some metal in, I said let's see it then and he pulled out a Charity identification tag and asked if we would make a donation. One of the girls was having a panic attack behind me and I literally kicked him out of the shop.

Peter

Lol Aka, I think he might have been a very naughty boy and not told us about these visits!  Perhaps it was Madam Olga's?  Dr Slicer, do you know anything about this?

Enjoy a copy of the original thread & a few other good 'uns on my website
http://www.smashiton.com/others/Betfair_Great_posts.htm

The your selection appears to be perched upon a fence was a cracker, along with many from the ppking stable.
I thought this one was a classic :-


Professional Sports people you have played

quincey 14 Feb 10:04
My mate once went in boxing ring with Bomber Graham at Butlins. A few others went in ring first Graham put his hands behind his back and you had to try and hit him no one got close. Ginge went in ring put gloves on then when Bomber Graham wasn't looking he went over and started hitting him funniest thing ever, he landed 2 or 3 good shots then Graham nearly knocked Ginge out with a punch and he got thrown out the ring LEGEND

My first regular bookies was a small independent in west Bridgeford owned by the former forest player Ian storey Moore.martin O'Neill had an interest in the business and used to pop in and out occasionally usually very quickly and first team coach of forest at the time loan o kane was always in .It was managed by a fantastic Londoner called Alan who was top notch as a bloke as well as the best lbo manager I ever came across.The first character i have to present to be forum was a little scruffy super Mario lookalike called JACKO...used to work the outdoor markets selling curtains when he wasn't punting...loved a jack berry jolly.trouble was he would have to bet in every race including dogs and was always on the scrounge. Once he was doing a placeppt race by race and when he had 4 legs up offered me half the bet for 17 quid which I passed on.last leg was a bumper and ad 2 jfav at 15/8 And he was buzzing around everyone for 25 minutes driving everyone mad..I remember that he copped and it paid 316 quid. Character number 2 was introduced to me the first time he rushed into the shop one Saturday afternoon and JACKO announced top of his voice "it's daft Phil"what a character he was 6"5 ish and very pale with white grey hair and red cheeks...prone to get bright red when flush or embarrassed. Always had the sporting life dressed quite smart which couldn't have been easy as he was the shape of an upright walrus. Got his nickname because when he had an interest used to stand underneath the screen rocking forwards and backwards increasing the tempo towards the business end of the race...never saw him back a winner in 3 years.The best though in the character profile was Alex...Or the pro..as I christened him.A young Sir Trevor McDonald lookalike and soundalike loved to namedrop and give the impression had the game sussed,best aftertimer I ever came across and like  daft Phil"what never saw him back a winner

saw Bomber Graham do that in cullompton no one got near £5 a shot

mind u most had a pint or too first

must have taken £1k easy 2 hours

There would also be a guy called Scrumpy in there who used to keep all his losing slips, save them up and then ask the cashier to check if he had a winner or any non runners just to fcuk them off.

Deserved bump.

Indeed. A classic. As pumphol said, probably the best thread ever on the forum.

Frasier had some beauties

Bump !

I have never seen a person managed to balance as much **** ash as old George. Of course that's in the days before those lefty t0ssers banned having a **** indoors!

great read . for added authenticity the thread should smell of tabs and stale pi ss.