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quality thread
thank you :) |
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Lloyd R.I.P.
My best mate (who was managing the korals by finchley rd tube) phoned me up half way thru the afternoon to ask my advice - he and the cashier had fancied going for a few pints that evening, but were brassic - the grand masterplan was to have a score (which they didnt have) on a 4 or 5/1 shot - if that lost,then double up on the next one... (guess where this is going!)- apparently this had been going on for about an hour and a half and they were a grand or so behind - hence the phone call,what to do?, As the options were limited my best call was to tell head office that an arab had walked and was wanting chunky bets and could they lay them (needed permission to lay over a certain amount before acceptence)-they said fire away- a hour or so later the cashier phoned to say Lloyd was lying on the floor shouting "i want my mummy",the punters couldn't get on and korals were sending security down to pick up the 10 grand or so that was supposedly in the safe - what should they do? With options strictly limited and time running out before security arrived, i told them to call head office to tell them to tell security not to bother, the arab had just had 2 grand on a 5/1 shot on the dogs but they couldnt get thru on the phone to tell them on time, then ring it up on the till and get rid of the film cassette in the canal when they shut that night. Unbelievably this worked,there was never any comeback, the boys ended up a couple of hundred up, went for a nice drink (i think think they needed it) and no more was ever said. |
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ttt
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A pleasing thread.
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JEFFREY
A mild mannerred West Indian around the Ilford area for years but always seemed to have a few bob to have a bet but would be in the shop for most of the day looking for his multiple bet to come in, would go between the Korals and my laddies. He was always about between afternoon and evening racing in the summer and would help move chairs whilst I swept the floor. After one such session, he was standing at the shop door and was narrowly missed by a lemon thrown from a passing car on Cranbrook Road I creased up as it was the 1st DRIVE BY LEMONNING I had ever witnessed, he did see the funny side later |
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The Albatross
Korals just outside Wolverhampton, John in his fifties, a huge fellow about 6 foot 6 with his Trilby hat on. Who arrived about an hour before racing began each day. Liked to study form from the wall mounted papers. He would take an age to choose his selections flitting between the Card and the Form, his wingspan was amazing and he would take up all of the room so nobody else could get a look in. He would then put on his 10p Lucky 15s and go, much to the relief of the regluar punters who used to say' thank feck hes gone, we can see whats running now'. |
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THE YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP MAN
Degenerate gambler, will rush around the shop for betting slips and pens so he can place his array of bets, most of which will include long odds on 'nailed on favs' on dogs, horses, virtual racing & football. Finds it hard to believe when one of his 'certs' get turned over and you know what he will say next '"you couldn't make it up" "this game is**as fk" and then rushes off to place another bet on the Virtual Racing! |
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He's in every shop. This thread has a lot of unique tales on it.
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the ultimate in rib tickling
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A good thread, though many of these are apocryphal imo
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I'll look that up and get back to you.
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I'll look that up and get back to you.
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Back by popular demand :D
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like a old friend :)
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The Kid
doesnt have a clue. Picks at random either by name or something that relates to events in his life. Tries to study form but always fails because he cant read. When he wins he makes sure the whole street hears him let alone the shop. Shouts "SHOULD HAVE BEEN FAVOURITE" Describes in a tea that does. |
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Thanks for bring this thread back :) I find it so amusing :)
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SHINY
Fulltimer 50ish west indian bloke and i mean fulltimer from lunch until close,bet £2 a race most of the time every collect he wanted to be paid in SHINY ONES he went to 3 willy's shops near me and always had the cashiers looking through the coin bags for the SHINY ONES, EH GUV U GOT ANY SHIIIIIIIIIINNNY ONES?????? (new £1 coins) |
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good thread
very funny |
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Bumped.
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I managed the Willy shop at the top of Church Sr Kensington off and on. It had a downstairs where we had to have seperate cashier and settler. We used to take turns down there. We had a regular punter came in most days and laid out £40 or so. A lot of money in 1978. His bet was always five or six horses £1E/w doubles, £2 trebles , £1 E/W accas that sort of thing.One day security came down with the hump. The guy had been understaking as a way of life and none of had ever checked his stake because his bet was so regular. We had overpaid him over and over again. I think they tried to do him for fraud but it ended up as just a ban and a sacked settler
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I always remember one saturday,dogs, 6 meetings etc,there was a guy called Joe who was almost a permanent resident in the shop,he was so inebriated most times he'd hand his tobacco tin and papers to strangers imploring them to roll him a ciggie,hed usually pick on a non smoking,non rolling newbie,and end smoking what looked like a lit trumpet,this particular day around ten past three the pubs had just emptied out and the betting shop was a heaving smoky mass of people full to the door, the boardmaker told Joe get out as he was a 'bleedin pest,with that Joe jumped up and grabbed his board rag and wiped every felt tip result of the board the lot gone in 20 seconds the place was in uproar ,it was total mayhem no betting shows,no one knew any results the boardmarker sat on his stool head in hands almost sobbing,someone grabbed Joe by the @rse of his trousers and coat lapels and threw him into the street,all people were muttering,what won this was that placed etc
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Good stories, especially the bloke wiping results off the board. :^0
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A mate of mine, who has managed various bookies in Glasgow for over 20 years told me the following story.
Various punters had been complaining of the smell of sh*t in his shop one day, he jokes with them and behind the bandit screen he can't smell it anyway. Eventually he is going around the shop, tidying up and he nearly throws up with the smell. He starts looking around for the source and spots an old tramp, so he rounds on him and starts shouting "Get out of my shop, you dirty old bugger." The old guy pleads ignorance, but my mate is having none of it and shouts "you have ** yourself" and with the vocal backing of the shop's punters he grabs him by the scruff of his coat and ejects him from the shop. A while later he is approached by a sheepish looking shop regular, who asks for a wee word in private. He explains that he ** himself earlier and had left his soiled pants in the gents!!! |
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Who the feck would own up to crapping their pants in a shop ?
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It was in the sixties,I was working in the building trade.In those days if it was p1ssing down the site would be 'rained off' and everyone sent home.All the building trade locals would congregate in the same boozer playing cards,darts,crib until closing time which at the time was 3pm.Thats how I got to know Tommy and Bob, two brothers who ran a small firm.They were both a good laugh and usually flush, the lads all knew that if they were potless Tommy and Bob were good for a fiver until pay day.They always drove round in one of those Bedford vans,the ones with the sliding doors at the front, which were always propped open.Story goes that they were driving round when Bob spots Macker riding his push bike and gets Tommy to drive close so he can give him a push as they drive past.Bob sticks his leg out to give Macker a kick but Tommys going too fast and Bobs leg snaps back broken in several places.I'm in the boozer on the Saturday lunch and they're in,Bob on crutches, leg in plaster. Anyway Tommy says to me fancy making a few quid? I need a lift with something this afters cos' Bobs out of action.Sure I reply. About 3:30pm we all jump in the van and Tommy drives to the bookies.It's an indy run by a guy called Charlie who always has a half bottle of Bells in his jacket pocket, he's no staff just an old guy called Ernie that marks the board on Sats.Ernie finishes about four on Saturday cos he does a paper round for a bit of beer money and after that Charlie puts up the winners. Charlie has all the cash in a wooden drawer under the counter and although he always locks it he usually leaves the door open when he comes out to mark the board.Thing is Tommys worked out that if one person lifts the counter another can pull the drawer out and thats why I'm there to lift the counter. Quick as a flash when Charlies out in the shop we're behind the counter lift, dip,close drawer, drop counter and out.Tommy had been pulling the stunt for ages apparently and because he hadn't been greedy Charlie hadn't caught on.I suppose because he was the only person handling the cash Charlie didn't bother balancing or he'd have spotted the discrepancies. Tommy and Bob reckoned they were the only two in town that hoped Charlie had had a profitable Saturday.
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It was in the sixties,I was working in the building trade.In those days if it was p1ssing down the site would be 'rained off' and everyone sent home.All the building trade locals would congregate in the same boozer playing cards,darts,crib until closing time which at the time was 3pm.Thats how I got to know Tommy and Bob, two brothers who ran a small firm.They were both a good laugh and usually flush, the lads all knew that if they were potless Tommy and Bob were good for a fiver until pay day.They always drove round in one of those Bedford vans,the ones with the sliding doors at the front, which were always propped open.Story goes that they were driving round when Bob spots Macker riding his push bike and gets Tommy to drive close so he can give him a push as they drive past.Bob sticks his leg out to give Macker a kick but Tommys going too fast and Bobs leg snaps back broken in several places.I'm in the boozer on the Saturday lunch and they're in,Bob on crutches, leg in plaster. Anyway Tommy says to me fancy making a few quid? I need a lift with something this afters cos' Bobs out of action.Sure I reply. About 3:30pm we all jump in the van and Tommy drives to the bookies.It's an indy run by a guy called Charlie who always has a half bottle of Bells in his jacket pocket, he's no staff just an old guy called Ernie that marks the board on Sats.Ernie finishes about four on Saturday cos he does a paper round for a bit of beer money and after that Charlie puts up the winners. Charlie has all the cash in a wooden drawer under the counter and although he always locks it he usually leaves the door open when he comes out to mark the board.Thing is Tommys worked out that if one person lifts the counter another can pull the drawer out and thats why I'm there to lift the counter. Quick as a flash when Charlies out in the shop we're behind the counter lift, dip,close drawer, drop counter and out.Tommy had been pulling the stunt for ages apparently and because he hadn't been greedy Charlie hadn't caught on.I suppose because he was the only person handling the cash Charlie didn't bother balancing or he'd have spotted the discrepancies. Tommy and Bob reckoned they were the only two in town that hoped Charlie had had a profitable Saturday.
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Not nice, he was only trying to make a living.
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ha ha, some cracking new additions.
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:^0
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Merry Xmas
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Anybody not read it ?
These are taken from people in bookies all over the UK, and a few from Oz. |
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still here :)
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Great thread
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