Another non-runner with a huge deduction factor

Take any more out and I'll be owing them if the horse wins.

Not much use getting the price right when it was beaten but it was backed down to 5/4.

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'



Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crzy, but a good idea!




A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence

6-20
DANCE THE STAR (2.5) comes out a clear winner at the weights

Got the lead but couldn't hold on to it when it mattered, got beaten by a short head. 

7-20
BLUE NOODLES (4.8) comes out best at the weghts

Made hard work of it, but it won at 7/2

panglima Joined: 26 May 05
Replies: 10101 30 Sep 10 13:30 
A sad day as I was named after him !

Curtis ?

Newmarket   
2:00  E.b.f. Maiden Stakes(4) 1m
Pos. (draw)     Dist.     Horse     Age     Weight     Jockey         In-Play Price     SPs and Advantage
                                                            High     Low     BfSP     IndSP     +/-    
1 (9)           Auden (USA)     2     9-0     Ahmed Ajtebi   11     -     8.20     7.50     5%    
2 (6)     1¼     Academy (IRE)     2     9-0     Ryan Moore      -         1.50     7.01     6     14%    
3 (2)     ½     Trumpington Street      2     9-0     Robert Havlin   -     3     55.63     41     30%    


2:35 Weatherbys Nursery Handicap(3) 1m
Pos. (draw)     Dist.     Horse     Age     Weight     In-Play Price     SPs and Advantage
                               High     Low     BSP     ISP     +/-    
1 (7)           Mariachi Man     2     8-12      21     -     13.73     11     21%     3.90
2 (12)     ns     Indigo Way     2     9-0        -     1.03     9.20     7.50     20%     2.64
3 (10)     nk     Poplin         2     9-1        -     1.68     9     8     9%     3.19

Test your rubbish on financials forum or US racing forum, like I do.

my joke was the best one

6-15 Wolverhampton

ORPENINDEED comes out best at the weights with 2 pounds advantage over Excusez Moi, and has form at this track.

Excusez Moi comes in 2nd best and he's 5 pounds clear of the rest,

Tne next 5 are all within one pound of each other.

The alleged no-hopers are Apache Ridge, Cavitie, Gone Hunting and Ajara.

Place bet ORPENINDEED for me, at about 2/1

pumphol. 01 Oct 10 16:37   


I agree



I have had a rethink

I only had a place bet anyway.

5-10 Recar  (seller)
RESPLENDENT LIGHT

If it can't get in the frame at these weights it wants sending to the knackers yard. First run at basement level today.

Next best, imo, is Island Chief at a big price (7 pounds behind Resplendent Light)

Then come Eastern Gift, Kielder, Knights Victory and Peaceful Rule, all 9 pounds behind the selection

The rest are 11 pounds or worse behind the selection.

Place bet RESPLENDENT LIGHT - we're going in - both tills

================================================================================
7-00 Wolverhampton  (claimer)
FLOWING CAPE just about comes out best over Samarinda, who narrowly gets a vote over Imprimis Tagula, who should finish in front of Dubai Dynamo.

Catherines Call, Fol Liam and Southanmdwest won't be far behind.

I don't fancy the likely favourite, Sabatini, at the weights, but it's all very close among the first 6 in the betting.
 
A tight race all round - no selction, for me.

There was no A v B market up (this was midnight) but that may be worth a look in the morning.

Something will be odds-on and may be worth a lay.

ffs

twice in one night.

COMPETITION RULES

ALL SELECTIONS MUST BE NAMED

RACECARD NUMBERS WILL BE IGNORED

SCORING

Handicaps - 16 or more runners

Winner - 4 points
2nd - 3 points
3rd - 2 points
4th - 1 point

Races of 8 to 15 runners and non-handicaps of 16 runners and over
Winner - 3 points
2nd - 2 points
3rd - 1 point

Races of 5 to 7 runners
Winner - 3 points
2nd - 2 points

Races of 4 runners or less
Winner - 3 points

It's all about PLACES

You get the above scores PLUS 1 point for each point of S.P. for a horse in the frame

EXAMPLES :

BARBER SHOP COMES SECOND IN THE GOLD CUP AT 20/1

then its 2 points for coming second & 20 for the SP - total = 22 Points

DENMAN COMES 4TH IN THE GRAND NATIONAL AT 16/1

then it’s 1 point for 4th plus 16 for the SP - total = 17 Points

KAUTO STAR WINS THE KING GEORGE CHASE AT EVENS

then its 3 points for winning & 1 for the SP - total = 4 Points

NON-RUNNERS

In the event of selecting a non-runner you will be on the S.P. favourite

In the case of co/joint favourites, you will be on the beast with the lowest racecard number


NON-RUNNERS CANNOT BE CHANGED ONCE THE FIRST RACE IS OFF


BONUS POINTS
Are awarded for the following
FIRST 4 SELECTIONS IN THE FRAME - 10 POINTS
FIRST 5 SELECTIONS IN THE FRAME - 20 POINTS
FIRST 6 SELECTIONS IN THE FRAME - 50 POINTS

NAP OF THE DAY

A CHANCE TO DOUBLE YOUR POINTS ON ONE HORSE

MARK YOUR DAILY NAP EACH DAY FOR DOUBLE POINTS

Your nap SHOULD be in the same post as your normal selections.

Failure to post your NAP with your selections means that your NAP will be taken as your selection in the first race.

If your NAP does not run, you revert to the NON RUNNER RULES, but you will get DOUBLE POINTS if the favourite gets placed.

Naps CANNOT be changed once the first race is off

ttt

5-00 Windsor (claimer)

Cut The Cackle is well clear at the  wieghts but probably won't stay 10 furlongs

Nothing in the race has form on heavy going, so may as well lay the front 2 in the betting at about 2 to 1 ON combined

Can't do much harm

5-00

the jolly won by nearly 4 lengths from the 2nd best, who was 8 lengths clear of the 3rd.

FFS!!! just looked at Apt To Run

8.6 WIN

2.86 PLACE

Missed all the value

I'd be inclined to back Apt To Run for a place at around  3/1 or over (currently 3.6)

Should have backed it last night

2nd

WD Winkle


still I have to make a note





LATEPOSTERIST


REPORTED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!