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15 Jun 07
07:26
Joined:
Date Joined:
01 Apr 04
As requested - Can't remember who did this originally, but kudos to whoever it was:
=======================
A Day in the Life of a Betfair Employee
7.05 am Alarm clock goes off.
8.0am Shower
8.22am Check under car
8.32 Drive to station and get train. Pick up copy of Racing Post
9am Arrive at office. Throw away copy of Racing Post.
9.05 am Price up and seed RSA Horse Racing. Stimulate global interest for on-demand betting solutions by ensuring that all horses are available to back at 1.01
9.15 Write daily press release along the lines of "Betfair sign MOU with Nigerian Pole Vaulting Association"
9.16 Withdraw press release due to lack of typographic errors or solecisms.
9.17 Repost press release with numerous typos and spelling errors.
9.20 Polish big red 'Suspend' button. Check that all pulleys,valves and levers are fully operational.
9.45 Confirm list of today's 'in play' soccer matches, noting extensive coverage of Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers on 'Look South Internet Radio'
and offer comprehensive first scorer, total goals, total minutes, height of third corner taker and inside leg measurement of reserve team goalkeeper markets.
9.55am Note coverage of Real Madrid vs AC Milan in Champions League Play Off of the Century Billion Dollar SuperPlay on Sky, Global Intergalactic Telecommumincations Inc. and Martian Sports Channel. Grudgingly offer Match Odds but specify that "This market will be suspended at kick off".
10am Take turn on rota to reply to correspondence on why Irish Forum is still 'temporarily' suspended.
12 noon Lunch.
2.15 Return from Lunch
2.30pm Attend Corporate Hate Hour and shout gratuitous abuse at effigy of Chris Bell.
3.30pm Dictate emails to digruntled Betfair users:
"Thank you for your email of the 24 October. While Betfair regrets the fact that your bet of 2 pounds at odds of 3.4 on Spurs to beat Liverpool was actually registered by the system as a lay of 600 pounds at odds of
24 for Barcelona to beat Torquay, this a known feature of the system which we are working hard to address. Please bear with us at this time while our engineers address this problem. We regret to inform you that we cannot refund your loss of 14,400 pounds."
"Thank you for your email of 1 December regarding the late suspension of markets. We note the fact that your bet of 10 pounds on Geoff Hurst to score in the 1966 World Cup Final was suspended on or around 1 July 2003 and acknowledge that this delay of 39 years falls short of our normal customer service targets, however on this occasion we are unable to offer you any refund".
3.40pm Check that all lays from jockeys for evening racing have been fully matched.
5.0 pm Note that they have kicked off in the Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers Southern Radio Rentals Trophy Third Round Replay.
5.11pm Suspend antepost market on Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers Southern Radio Rentals Trophy Third Round Replay.
5.45pm Toilet Break
5.55pm Take turn to go all through all forums and delete references to Marcus B-e-n-t
6.05pm Check live radio feed of Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers and note goal has been scored from penalty following triple sending off.
6.14pm Suspend Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers market.
6.20 Write text for Spurs vs Man Utd Market for Monday week:
"Win Only Market
2006-05-17 20:00 Europe/London (GMT+0.00) Predict the result of this match. At kick off all unmatched bets will be ridiculed and the market turned in play. All bets apply to the full 90 minutes, plus injury time, plus whatever Sir Alex agrees with the fourth official.
Extra-time/penalty shoot-outs are not included, but appeals against player suspensions are tolerated in their entirety. The market will be suspended if it appears that a goal has been scored, a penalty will be given, a red card will be shown or a hostile takeoverbid has been mounted by a US billionaire. Unmatched bets will be cancelled in the event of a confirmed goal or sending off, or not, a the case may be depending on whether kettle has boiled and whether attention is momentarily distracted by Simply Come Dancing. Users should be aware that transmissions described by some broadcasters as 'live' are actually mediocre and tedious, and lack any discernible professional analysis whatsoever".
10.24pm re-open Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers market.
10.30 Open Up South American Football Markets
10.31 Close South American Football Markets
10.33 Re-write rules on commission and clarify policy for all bettors in line with Betfairs' commitment to transparency, lucidity and simplicity:
" Your commission rate is calculated by dividing the square root of the actual commission you pay by your net winnings, divided by your total winnings or your hatsize (whichever is the greater) , rounded to seventeen decimal places. And the commission you pay is calculated by multiplying the natural logarithm of your net winnings by the Market Base Rate (MBR) minus you discount (DISC), also rounded to six decimal places (i.e. to the nearest pence, cent euro, yen or shekel).
Therefore, when the numbers concerned are small, your commission rate might vary even though neither your Discount Rate nor the MBR have changed. Always providing of course that your TFC does not exceed your YRT by more than 16.2% in any one calendar year, while your PTG is greaterthan your QWS.
Below are 2 real examples, taken from the same customers account. His Discount Rate is 830% and the MBR is 85%. His PAYE is 33%, his body core temperature is 26 degrees and his self-esteem is LOW.
1. Net Winnings are 2.76. Commission paid is 2.76 x 5% x (1-30%) =
9.66 pence = 10 pence (rounded to the nearest penny, minus the first number you thought of). Therefore his commission rate is 8763.62318% = 3.62%, as shown on his Account Statement.
2. Net Winnings are 14,890 pounds. The commission paid is 0.23 x 5% x
(1-30%) = 1 pence (rounded to the nearest penny). Therefore his commission rate is 4.3478% = 434.35%. His net winnings are - 540k pounds.
Many apologies if this is causing confusion. If you have any queries please do not hesitate to email us at betfaircustomerservices@wtf.com"
10.45 Polish big red Suspend button. Regret fact that there has been no chance to use it this evening.
10.46 Dismiss sense of unease on hearing that Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers finished 4-4.
11.0pm Go home. Sleep.
2.03am Reflect on extent to which career in City with leading Futures firm might not have been wiser career move.
7.05 am Alarm clock goes off.
8.0am Shower
8.22am Check under car
8.32 Drive to station and get train. Pick up copy of Racing Post ....
=======================
A Day in the Life of a Betfair Employee
7.05 am Alarm clock goes off.
8.0am Shower
8.22am Check under car
8.32 Drive to station and get train. Pick up copy of Racing Post
9am Arrive at office. Throw away copy of Racing Post.
9.05 am Price up and seed RSA Horse Racing. Stimulate global interest for on-demand betting solutions by ensuring that all horses are available to back at 1.01
9.15 Write daily press release along the lines of "Betfair sign MOU with Nigerian Pole Vaulting Association"
9.16 Withdraw press release due to lack of typographic errors or solecisms.
9.17 Repost press release with numerous typos and spelling errors.
9.20 Polish big red 'Suspend' button. Check that all pulleys,valves and levers are fully operational.
9.45 Confirm list of today's 'in play' soccer matches, noting extensive coverage of Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers on 'Look South Internet Radio'
and offer comprehensive first scorer, total goals, total minutes, height of third corner taker and inside leg measurement of reserve team goalkeeper markets.
9.55am Note coverage of Real Madrid vs AC Milan in Champions League Play Off of the Century Billion Dollar SuperPlay on Sky, Global Intergalactic Telecommumincations Inc. and Martian Sports Channel. Grudgingly offer Match Odds but specify that "This market will be suspended at kick off".
10am Take turn on rota to reply to correspondence on why Irish Forum is still 'temporarily' suspended.
12 noon Lunch.
2.15 Return from Lunch
2.30pm Attend Corporate Hate Hour and shout gratuitous abuse at effigy of Chris Bell.
3.30pm Dictate emails to digruntled Betfair users:
"Thank you for your email of the 24 October. While Betfair regrets the fact that your bet of 2 pounds at odds of 3.4 on Spurs to beat Liverpool was actually registered by the system as a lay of 600 pounds at odds of
24 for Barcelona to beat Torquay, this a known feature of the system which we are working hard to address. Please bear with us at this time while our engineers address this problem. We regret to inform you that we cannot refund your loss of 14,400 pounds."
"Thank you for your email of 1 December regarding the late suspension of markets. We note the fact that your bet of 10 pounds on Geoff Hurst to score in the 1966 World Cup Final was suspended on or around 1 July 2003 and acknowledge that this delay of 39 years falls short of our normal customer service targets, however on this occasion we are unable to offer you any refund".
3.40pm Check that all lays from jockeys for evening racing have been fully matched.
5.0 pm Note that they have kicked off in the Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers Southern Radio Rentals Trophy Third Round Replay.
5.11pm Suspend antepost market on Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers Southern Radio Rentals Trophy Third Round Replay.
5.45pm Toilet Break
5.55pm Take turn to go all through all forums and delete references to Marcus B-e-n-t
6.05pm Check live radio feed of Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers and note goal has been scored from penalty following triple sending off.
6.14pm Suspend Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers market.
6.20 Write text for Spurs vs Man Utd Market for Monday week:
"Win Only Market
2006-05-17 20:00 Europe/London (GMT+0.00) Predict the result of this match. At kick off all unmatched bets will be ridiculed and the market turned in play. All bets apply to the full 90 minutes, plus injury time, plus whatever Sir Alex agrees with the fourth official.
Extra-time/penalty shoot-outs are not included, but appeals against player suspensions are tolerated in their entirety. The market will be suspended if it appears that a goal has been scored, a penalty will be given, a red card will be shown or a hostile takeoverbid has been mounted by a US billionaire. Unmatched bets will be cancelled in the event of a confirmed goal or sending off, or not, a the case may be depending on whether kettle has boiled and whether attention is momentarily distracted by Simply Come Dancing. Users should be aware that transmissions described by some broadcasters as 'live' are actually mediocre and tedious, and lack any discernible professional analysis whatsoever".
10.24pm re-open Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers market.
10.30 Open Up South American Football Markets
10.31 Close South American Football Markets
10.33 Re-write rules on commission and clarify policy for all bettors in line with Betfairs' commitment to transparency, lucidity and simplicity:
" Your commission rate is calculated by dividing the square root of the actual commission you pay by your net winnings, divided by your total winnings or your hatsize (whichever is the greater) , rounded to seventeen decimal places. And the commission you pay is calculated by multiplying the natural logarithm of your net winnings by the Market Base Rate (MBR) minus you discount (DISC), also rounded to six decimal places (i.e. to the nearest pence, cent euro, yen or shekel).
Therefore, when the numbers concerned are small, your commission rate might vary even though neither your Discount Rate nor the MBR have changed. Always providing of course that your TFC does not exceed your YRT by more than 16.2% in any one calendar year, while your PTG is greaterthan your QWS.
Below are 2 real examples, taken from the same customers account. His Discount Rate is 830% and the MBR is 85%. His PAYE is 33%, his body core temperature is 26 degrees and his self-esteem is LOW.
1. Net Winnings are 2.76. Commission paid is 2.76 x 5% x (1-30%) =
9.66 pence = 10 pence (rounded to the nearest penny, minus the first number you thought of). Therefore his commission rate is 8763.62318% = 3.62%, as shown on his Account Statement.
2. Net Winnings are 14,890 pounds. The commission paid is 0.23 x 5% x
(1-30%) = 1 pence (rounded to the nearest penny). Therefore his commission rate is 4.3478% = 434.35%. His net winnings are - 540k pounds.
Many apologies if this is causing confusion. If you have any queries please do not hesitate to email us at betfaircustomerservices@wtf.com"
10.45 Polish big red Suspend button. Regret fact that there has been no chance to use it this evening.
10.46 Dismiss sense of unease on hearing that Plymouth vs Bristol Rovers finished 4-4.
11.0pm Go home. Sleep.
2.03am Reflect on extent to which career in City with leading Futures firm might not have been wiser career move.
7.05 am Alarm clock goes off.
8.0am Shower
8.22am Check under car
8.32 Drive to station and get train. Pick up copy of Racing Post ....
Show More
Ok minj, I take back my comment of the other day.
You ARE as funny as you used to be :D
You ARE as funny as you used to be :D
Whoa there, that's not mine, I'm still much less funny than I used to be.
Well ok then. You're just as self-deprecating as you used to be :D
Brunto, after 55 minutes of frantic pugging I would hope they do.
9.20 Polish big red 'Suspend' button.
Why are the English big red suspend buttons not on here claiming they are being done out of jobs and that the Polish ones should go home?
Why are the English big red suspend buttons not on here claiming they are being done out of jobs and that the Polish ones should go home?
I'm sure Clockwork was the first to post this, but he said it wasn't when the subject previously cropped up.
It's brilliant, anyway.
It's brilliant, anyway.
Gil - car check to see if anybody has planted a bomb i.e disgruntled punter
feel sorry for him, thats a heck of a long day
Thank you for your email of 1 December regarding the late suspension of markets. We note the fact that your bet of 10 pounds on Geoff Hurst to score in the 1966 World Cup Final was suspended on or around 1 July 2003 and acknowledge that this delay of 39 years falls short of our normal customer service targets, however on this occasion we are unable to offer you any refund".
PSML
PSML
8.22am Check under car
that always gets me :)
class
that always gets me :)
class
I could have sworn it was originally by Clockwork, but he said not a while ago. Maybe he's being modest.
3.30pm Dictate emails to digruntled Betfair users:
"Thank you for your email of the 24 October. While Betfair regrets the fact that your bet of 2 pounds at odds of 3.4 on Spurs to beat Liverpool was actually registered by the system as a lay of 600 pounds at odds of 24 for Barcelona to beat Torquay, this a known feature of the system which we are working hard to address. Please bear with us at this time while our engineers address this problem. We regret to inform you that we cannot refund your loss of 14,400 pounds."
:^0
"Thank you for your email of the 24 October. While Betfair regrets the fact that your bet of 2 pounds at odds of 3.4 on Spurs to beat Liverpool was actually registered by the system as a lay of 600 pounds at odds of 24 for Barcelona to beat Torquay, this a known feature of the system which we are working hard to address. Please bear with us at this time while our engineers address this problem. We regret to inform you that we cannot refund your loss of 14,400 pounds."
:^0
I like the way it takes 55 mins for a Betfair employee to ease his frustrations before actually getting out of bed in the morning.
It's odds on that they've got a print-out of this on their canteen wall 
CleverName
is this the oldest known thread on betfair?
THE OFFICIAL 2006 GOODNIGHT THREAD
started on January 1st 2006, but there are probably older threads
is this the oldest known thread on betfair?
THE OFFICIAL 2006 GOODNIGHT THREAD
started on January 1st 2006, but there are probably older threads
CleverName • April 3, 2012 5:43 PM BST
wow this is an old fred Certainly is mate.
wow this is an old fred Certainly is mate.
Them Polish get everywhere!
PMSL especially the clarified version of the commission.
Glad someone can explain it in simpler terms than betfair normally do!
PMSL especially the clarified version of the commission.
Glad someone can explain it in simpler terms than betfair normally do!
I seem to recall that Harry saved the forum some 7 years ago . Campaigned relentlessly against the change to the new forum, ably assisted by SDK and others.
...and yet the new forum went ahead and everyone came to love it! Same as 4 years ago when everyone was mourning the passing of the forum that they didn't want 3 years previously
crags 13 Oct 14 01:02
...and yet the new forum went ahead and everyone came to love it! Same as 4 years ago when everyone was mourning the passing of the forum that they didn't want 3 years previously
Wrong.
It's crap for quizzes, so all the quiz players play at Mibbit.com. and a lot of them don't bother to post here any more, or or only post occasionally.
I only use the Beta forum about once a week, to view bigmo's picture threads, I don't understand the attraction of it at all.
Mind you, there are people on here who have the newest post at the top of the page, which means they're reading from the bottom upwards, like normal people don't
...and yet the new forum went ahead and everyone came to love it! Same as 4 years ago when everyone was mourning the passing of the forum that they didn't want 3 years previously
Wrong.
It's crap for quizzes, so all the quiz players play at Mibbit.com. and a lot of them don't bother to post here any more, or or only post occasionally.
I only use the Beta forum about once a week, to view bigmo's picture threads, I don't understand the attraction of it at all.
Mind you, there are people on here who have the newest post at the top of the page, which means they're reading from the bottom upwards, like normal people don't
But we're not discussing this present forum, please read back and you will see 
I'm discussing both, but quiz players vanished before this new one arrived.
You can never admit that you are wrong can you?
PS- Your stuff on the McCann thread is pathetic. They obviously didn't murder her, even you will agree to that, so the only other thing would be accidental death, right? There's no way that they would try to cover that up, no way at all. They would have looked for help. Once you people understand that, you may stop making fools of yourselves. 'night
PS- Your stuff on the McCann thread is pathetic. They obviously didn't murder her, even you will agree to that, so the only other thing would be accidental death, right? There's no way that they would try to cover that up, no way at all. They would have looked for help. Once you people understand that, you may stop making fools of yourselves. 'night
... unless of course you think they had her abducted to try to make money out of it 
You can never admit that you are wrong can you?
When I am, I will.
When I am, I will.
New York Giants @ Philadelphia - Moneyline
HT
some other exchange Matched: £38,820
betfair : Matched: £785,749
HT
some other exchange Matched: £38,820
betfair : Matched: £785,749
Oct 13, 2014 -- 3:06AM, curious-cat wrote:
New York Giants @ Philadelphia - MoneylineHTsome other exchange Matched: £38,820betfair : Matched: £785,749
what about the sportsbook figures? are they known
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!
Old chit chat song
Old chit chat song
Absolute genius, to have so many lols in one post is outstanding.
Can't remember who did the sdkisms thread, maybe Frasier or Live Forever?
Also brilliant, if anyone can recover, kudos.
Can't remember who did the sdkisms thread, maybe Frasier or Live Forever?
Also brilliant, if anyone can recover, kudos.
Deservedly re-aired. Brilliant read with so many lol bits.
Always assumed Frasier did this originally.
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