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"i hope your plane back home's a DC10"
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Replies: 41
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Are DC10s famed for crashing? If so, I think that the line is a bit off :(
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yes...
i thought it was funny |
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Time flies by when you're the driver of a train,
Speeding out of Trumpton with a cargo of cocaine. Under bridges, over bridges, to our destination. Careful with that spliff, Eugene, it causes condensation. mate used to love this when we were about 15. i always thought they were shyte. he was a massive fan so there are at least 2 of you :) |
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ONCE YOUVE BEEN WITH ONE GINGER BREAD MAN YOUVE BEEN WITH THEM ALL
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God I could murder a Cadburys Flake
'Cos their adverts promote Oral Sex |
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I MIGHT NOT BE A REAL MAN BUT I TASTE NICE
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IVE FIISHED WITH YOU ITS OVER BUT CAN I STILL DUNK YOU
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And after only five minutes, you were down to ten men, cos he'd sent off your right back for taking the base from his left winger,
Come to half time, you'd be losing four nil, each and every goal, a hotly disputed penalty... |
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My girlfriend looks like Peggy Mount
What am I supposed to do I'm up the creek And nevermind the paddle boy I haven't even got a cannoe |
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"If Jesus came to Earth today
Theyd crucify him straight away Upon a cross of MDF And theyd use No Need For Nails" |
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You can lead a horse to water
But a pencil must be lead, mate |
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Everybody's doing the Len Ganley stance
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You said youd found me helpless on the A47
Shouting at the passers by that Alan Brazil Seems to be the singer in the Goombay Dance Band And now you want to put me in the ambulance But I dont want to go in the ambulance. http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/ |
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God gave us life god gave us life so that we all could take sweets from strange men in big cars and get driven to the woods to see imaginary puppys
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And you can thank your lucky stars that you're not
The ba5tard son of Dean Friedman, |
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Oh I was walking round my local store
Searching for the ten pence off Lenor When suddenly I bumped into this guy On seeing who it was I gave a cry |
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Mildly surprised Titmus got through :D
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Walking around my local store searching for the 10p of lenor.
In one they sum up the people of this nation |
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Mention the Lord of the Rings one more time & I'll more than likely kill you
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they go to one day cricket in fancy dress...
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We sat and decided as the seasons collided that our love was fairly utopian
If it wasn't for my pills, my psychiatric pills and your unreliable fallopian |
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They mocked me in my mocks
And embroidered in my socks The barstard son of Dean Friedman |
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If only youd give me my Lev Yashin poster back
six months ago i returned your brown anorak but you keep forgetting and its far too upsetting so baby Ferenc Puskas to you, to you Baby Ferenc Puskas to you (with boots on) |
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Nero fiddles while Gordon Burns
In his Joy Division oven gloves |
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"I'm off to see the Bootleg Beatles; as the bootleg Mark Chapman." End of discussion.
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I didnt take much time convincing her
Baby, Im from the Wirral peninsula A merciless despot, with nothing to lose In my Dick Quax running shoes ;) |
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Their knickers are made of crepe-de-chine, their shoes are made of python,
Their halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with head of bison. |
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When you walk through a storm,
You get wet. |
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No draft
'Cos that'd be daft A feather acknowledges Newton And a ball and chain Let loose on the pane Can only smash your nerves In the hibernating season Pick the best It stands to reason No complaing When it's raining Thanks to Mr Moult. (Wey-hey) |
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the nauseating bashfulness of early Diana, makes me want to set fire to commemorative tea towels
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"to the tune of he's got the whole world in his hands"
they got a german shepherd, his name is prince they got a german shepherd, his name is prince they got a german shepherd, his name is prince the one called sheba died! classic line form painballs coming home... a song about the majority of of th uk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxR0JY-FMh8 |
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i heard a lovely rumour that bett middler had a tumour
so gleefully i went to tell my friends http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE_CUkUeWk8 |
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Theyve got the whole world in their house
Theyve got the whole wide world in their house Theyve got the whole world in their house To see the new conservatory They didnt choose their cat, their cat chose them They didnt choose their cat, their cat chose them They didnt choose their cat, their cat chose them And what do you know its got its own website They made some real good friends on Henman Hill They made some real good friends on Henman Hill They made some good friends on Henman Hill And now they all meet up for boxercise They buy soup in cartons, not in tins They buy soup in cartons, not in tins They buy soup in cartons, not in tins And keep a torch in the back of their car They go to one-day cricket in fancy dress They go to one-day cricket in fancy dress They go to one-day cricket in fancy dress And choose the pub thats got the ball pond for the kids They treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe They treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe They treat the Mercury Music Prize with awe Obviously thats just jealousy on my part They seem to think its a really good idea They seem to think its a really good idea They seem to think its a really good idea To hire a stretch limousine He gets over-emotional when hes drunk He gets all too emotional when hes drunk He gets over-emotional when hes drunk And says |
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A mistake has been made
Its a fact they cant hide Though Im partly to blame, it cannot be denied There aint no use defending It seems Ive been tending The wrong grave for 23 years A letter dropped onto my doormat one day And I thought: |
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Theyve got the whole world in their house
Theyve got the whole wide world in their house Theyve got the whole world in their house To see the new conservatory They go ten pin bowling after work They go ten pin bowling after work They go ten pin bowling after work And theyre getting married on a Caribbean beach Theyve got a German shepherd dog called Prince Theyve got a German shepherd dog called Prince Theyve got a German shepherd dog called Prince The one called Sheba died They know where things are in B&Q They know where things are in B&Q They know where things are in B&Q And theyve got The Joy Of Sex video If I were a linesman I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides They were due on the Crystal Maze Yeah, they were due to go on the Crystal Maze Yeah, they were due on the Crystal Maze But they got mugged in Florida They went up in a hot air balloon They declared their love in a hot air balloon Yeah, they drank champagne in a hot air balloon And had a row on New Years Eve Theyve got nothing but total respect for Theyve got nothing but total respect for Theyve got nothing but total respect for Annie Lennox And if Id known they were coming, Id have slashed me wrists Note there have been many live variations on the song, the most well-known being this one, recorded for a BBC Session in 2004: Theyve got the whole world in their house Theyve got the whole wide world in their house Theyve got the whole world in their house To see the new conservatory |
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A doyen of Topiary once told me,
That one day he would like to grow a maze, It seemed to be quite logical That this should be his wish. And with that We both went our separate ways. |
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Oh darling sugar honey
when it was nice and sunny and when we had some money we could go and see Echo and the Bunny............men |
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Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants,
weavers cottages devoid of tenants, a market town that lacks quintessence, that's Chatteris without your presence... |
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Shes the main man in the office in the city
And she treats me like Im just another lackey But I can put a tennis racket up against my face And pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki |