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I know most of you lot have probably heard it before but from his autobiography and for those that havent..
I WAS ASKED THE OTHER THE OTHER DAY WHAT I WOULD LIKE FOLK TO SAY AS THEY PASSED MY BODY LAID OUT IN AN OPEN COFFIN FOR FINAL INSPECTION. I SHOULD LIKE AT LEAST ONE OF THEM TO SAY"I THINK I SAW HIM MOVE"
:^0
I WAS ASKED THE OTHER THE OTHER DAY WHAT I WOULD LIKE FOLK TO SAY AS THEY PASSED MY BODY LAID OUT IN AN OPEN COFFIN FOR FINAL INSPECTION. I SHOULD LIKE AT LEAST ONE OF THEM TO SAY"I THINK I SAW HIM MOVE"
:^0
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He was a big fan of the Lidl norweign smoked salmon, said it was delicious for no money :D
I've just checked out the book on Amazon and Play, and it's over £50!
That is a must get book for me, used to see C.F. in the joke orals in Poland Street every now and then and he was always very pleasant to me. What a life that man had.
Saw a documentary on him the other day, really funny. It ended with him telling a joke that kind of went like this..
There's a drunk guy in a bar moaning that his wife's gonna leave him if he comes home drunk one more time, the guy then vomits all down his shirt. 'How the hell am i going to get away with this now?' he asks. A friend then says, 'dont worry, when you get home just take £20 out of your wallet and say someone in the bar was sick on you and gave you £20 for the dry cleaning'. The bloke heads home, his wife goes mad and starts packing her bags. He takes the money out of his wallet and explains. His wife looks at the money and says 'why have you got £40 in your hand then?' The guy ponders this and says, oh the other £20 is from the bloke who sh1t in my pants!
There's a drunk guy in a bar moaning that his wife's gonna leave him if he comes home drunk one more time, the guy then vomits all down his shirt. 'How the hell am i going to get away with this now?' he asks. A friend then says, 'dont worry, when you get home just take £20 out of your wallet and say someone in the bar was sick on you and gave you £20 for the dry cleaning'. The bloke heads home, his wife goes mad and starts packing her bags. He takes the money out of his wallet and explains. His wife looks at the money and says 'why have you got £40 in your hand then?' The guy ponders this and says, oh the other £20 is from the bloke who sh1t in my pants!
One of my customers told me the following story.
He and his mate were on the way home from Plumpton late one Monday afternoon and had done their dough. Both were reading the Sporting Life when one says to the other "I hope you've at least enough for our bus fare coz I'm potless" (they were on a train) His mate replied 2 No, we'll just have to **g walk". Over the top of his mates paper came a £10 note, without comment being made! Sir Clement, what a gent!
On a personal note, my Dad and I would race each other to read his column each Saturday and whoever was first would ring the other if it was particularly funny. When I lost him suddenly 18 months ago aged just 60, every Saturday for 6 months I would read his column aloud outside just for my darling Dad.(mad I know) I cried buckets when Sir Clement went so similarly to my Dad. I do hope that they are now entertaining each other.
He and his mate were on the way home from Plumpton late one Monday afternoon and had done their dough. Both were reading the Sporting Life when one says to the other "I hope you've at least enough for our bus fare coz I'm potless" (they were on a train) His mate replied 2 No, we'll just have to **g walk". Over the top of his mates paper came a £10 note, without comment being made! Sir Clement, what a gent!
On a personal note, my Dad and I would race each other to read his column each Saturday and whoever was first would ring the other if it was particularly funny. When I lost him suddenly 18 months ago aged just 60, every Saturday for 6 months I would read his column aloud outside just for my darling Dad.(mad I know) I cried buckets when Sir Clement went so similarly to my Dad. I do hope that they are now entertaining each other.
very good post tess
on a similar note I used to love reading his columns in the life, and would ring my sister to laugh over them, a very funny and wise man :)
on a similar note I used to love reading his columns in the life, and would ring my sister to laugh over them, a very funny and wise man :)
Is the name of his autobiography called 'Freud Ego?
a very funny man. Tess what a nice story, memories will always be with you, they will never leave you,as much as they make you sad sometimes, they make you happy as much other times, and in answer to your question i bet your dear old dad and clement get along just fine
I caught the end of that documentary the other week...think it was BBC 3 or 4. I hope that they show it again, he seemed to be a great character. :-)
Tess, lovely stuff.
Take those memories with you.
I rarely post on here but your love of your Dad and admiration for Clement, who was just a jewel on this Planet, so shines through and your post deserves recognition.
My old Dad passed away on Christmas Day 2009. His last words directly to me, when I asked "is there anything you need me to get for you?" were "yes, get me the William Hills 2010 Racing Diary."
He was 88 and knew he was dying. He also loved the Clement columns.
Good for you for a great, true post.
Bunter
Take those memories with you.
I rarely post on here but your love of your Dad and admiration for Clement, who was just a jewel on this Planet, so shines through and your post deserves recognition.
My old Dad passed away on Christmas Day 2009. His last words directly to me, when I asked "is there anything you need me to get for you?" were "yes, get me the William Hills 2010 Racing Diary."
He was 88 and knew he was dying. He also loved the Clement columns.
Good for you for a great, true post.
Bunter
good on your old fella too bunter, seemed to be a charachter to the very end
Not a crime to proud of your old man Tess and I'm sure he's proud of you.
Nice words Tess and Bunter.
Crisp, if you are on Virgin TV it is on the TV catch up
Crisp, if you are on Virgin TV it is on the TV catch up
The man was pure class ,sounds like ur dad was in the same league aswell tess.
Bunter : I hope that brought a smile to your face.I mean that in the most respectful way.
Thanks to you all. Bunter it sounds like your Dad was one of a kind too. True characters are just totally irreplacable and the lives of those around them change forever once they have gone.As an only child, we were very close, he was only 17 when I was born and my parents had to get permission from a court before they could marry! (My maternal Grandfather refused consent) My Mother has been like a lost soul these past 18 months, at 62 she's done her best to stay poistive for me and my 3 children, but I know that deep down she's been in hell.
However, yesterday she received a call from a dog rescue centre to tell her that a rescued Shtizu puppy was available (she's been on the waiting list) and she collected him yesterday afternoon. It was pure bliss to hear her so genuinely happy and excited.
Bunter, coincidentally, Im a Hills Manager! Your Dad's final words to you made me smile. I put the Racing Post, Hills slips and pens and a pair of reading glasses in my Dad's coffin. Didn't want him unprepared if there's a branch in heaven!
However, yesterday she received a call from a dog rescue centre to tell her that a rescued Shtizu puppy was available (she's been on the waiting list) and she collected him yesterday afternoon. It was pure bliss to hear her so genuinely happy and excited.
Bunter, coincidentally, Im a Hills Manager! Your Dad's final words to you made me smile. I put the Racing Post, Hills slips and pens and a pair of reading glasses in my Dad's coffin. Didn't want him unprepared if there's a branch in heaven!
Tess 27 Jan 21:01
One of my customers told me the following story.
He and his mate were on the way home from Plumpton late one Monday afternoon and had done their dough. Both were reading the Sporting Life when one says to the other "I hope you've at least enough for our bus fare coz I'm potless" (they were on a train) His mate replied 2 No, we'll just have to **g walk". Over the top of his mates paper came a £10 note, without comment being made! Sir Clement, what a gent!
On a personal note, my Dad and I would race each other to read his column each Saturday and whoever was first would ring the other if it was particularly funny. When I lost him suddenly 18 months ago aged just 60, every Saturday for 6 months I would read his column aloud outside just for my darling Dad.(mad I know) I cried buckets when Sir Clement went so similarly to my Dad. I do hope that they are now entertaining each other.
^ I'm not a cynic but when he passed away that post was on his thread word for word.
One of my customers told me the following story.
He and his mate were on the way home from Plumpton late one Monday afternoon and had done their dough. Both were reading the Sporting Life when one says to the other "I hope you've at least enough for our bus fare coz I'm potless" (they were on a train) His mate replied 2 No, we'll just have to **g walk". Over the top of his mates paper came a £10 note, without comment being made! Sir Clement, what a gent!
On a personal note, my Dad and I would race each other to read his column each Saturday and whoever was first would ring the other if it was particularly funny. When I lost him suddenly 18 months ago aged just 60, every Saturday for 6 months I would read his column aloud outside just for my darling Dad.(mad I know) I cried buckets when Sir Clement went so similarly to my Dad. I do hope that they are now entertaining each other.
^ I'm not a cynic but when he passed away that post was on his thread word for word.
there is always one hearts ffs...
nice words tess whoever you are.. i used to be a hills manager too so i know your pain in that regard... how are the shops? i go tout when the machines became the be all and end all
nice words tess whoever you are.. i used to be a hills manager too so i know your pain in that regard... how are the shops? i go tout when the machines became the be all and end all
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