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Clockwork
24 Jan 10 19:20
Joined:
Date Joined: 11 Dec 01
| Topic/replies: 1,886 | Blogger: Clockwork's blog
The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English will be adopted as the
official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other option.

As part of the negotiation Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling left some room for improvement
and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that will be known as Euro-English.

In the first year the soft "c" will be replaced. Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will
be dropped in favour of the "k".This should clear up Konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter less.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by the "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplicated
changes kan bekome possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of duble leters, that have always been a
deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgasful and it
should be droped.

By the 4th yar,peopl vill be reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" vith "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ziz fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. zer vil be no mor trubl or dificultis und evri vun vil find it ezi to
onderstand ech ozer. Zen ze drem vil finaly kum tru!!
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Report Toop Toop • January 24, 2010 7:24 PM GMT
again

ffs
Report Clockwork • January 24, 2010 7:25 PM GMT
The European Commision has just announced an agreement whereby English will be adopted as the
official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other option.

As part of the negotiation Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling left some room for improvement
and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that will be known as Euro-English.

In the first year the soft "c" will be replaced. Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will
be dropped in favour of the "k".This should clear up Konfusion and keyboards kan have one letter less.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by the "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplicated
changes kan bekome possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of duble leters, that have always been a
deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgasful and it
should be droped.

By the 4th yar,peopl vill be reseptive to steps such as replasing "th" vith "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yar, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be
aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After ziz fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. zer vil be no mor trubl or dificultis und evri vun vil find it ezi to
onderstand ech ozer. Zen ze drem vil finaly kum tru!!
Report macarony • January 24, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
English is more is spoken by more people around the world than German. EU in common sense shocker
Report punterfleecer • January 24, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
joke as old as the hills
Report punterfleecer • January 24, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
joke as old as the hills
Report Tevez is God • January 24, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
thanks clocky, one of my favourites of all time and I lost it when my hard drive got trashed :D
Report Clockwork • January 24, 2010 7:50 PM GMT
Nein problem, Tevez.
Report delz • January 24, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj




(Replaced 'z' with 'j')
Report Ovalman. • January 24, 2010 7:51 PM GMT
English is more is spoken by more people around the world than German. EU in common sense shocker

We should all learn Mandarin.
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