Joke...

Guy goes for a job in a timber yard in australia (my aussie bro in law told me the joke) he does all the usual bumf at the interview and they're still not sure, so he says to them that he can tell the type of timber, country of origin and year it was felled just from sniffing it. They take him up on the challenge, blindfold him and put a 6ft piece of timber in front of him. He runs his nose along the top edge making a big sniffing noise as he does so. savours the smell looking up into the air and says "turn her over" So they do and he has another long sniff and savour.

"Norwegian Fir" he says. "2006".

"** you're good" they reply "wel'll get you another one". Which they do and place it in front of him and he goes through the whole rigmarole as he does so. "turn her over" he says, and he gives it another long sniff then...

"Canadian Pine, 2002"

"Fek me right again" they reply. They mutter amongst themselves and hatch a plan. They go up to the blonde bit on reception and tell her there is a thousand bucks in her pay packet if she strips off naked and lies on the work bench out back for a couple of minutes. "no one will touch you" they say. "You just gotta lie there and not move or say anything" She agrees and takes her clothes off and lies on the bench. They get the blindfold guy back over. He has a good old sniff from ti.t to knee. Savours it like a bloodhound, head raised to the ceiling. "Flip her over" he says. From the arch of her back to the top of her thighs he ssniffs deeply. He lifts his head up and back and takes in all that his nostrils could contain. A smile covers his face before announcing....

"Ah you guys are good, you're real good. You're ragging me ain't you. That's the sh.ithouse door off a prawn trawler"