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if you had a 1 year old child and you are married and also have met someone else and have spent a night out together and left in the morning which was fantastic and made you feel alive again what would you do ?
only helpful advice please ?
only helpful advice please ?
Show More
NM- in that case you have made your decision. Good luck- you will need it.
Try dealing with Cancer.........It wont seem much of a problem then.
If you gonna go, go now, so your wife has a chance to meet someone else ans so your daughter can have a father full time in her life, someone she can call Daddy, and you will be the bloke who comes to pick her up once a week when she would rather be with her 'parents' or playing with her friends.
You say you love your wife, which is bollo x , you are just trying to ease you guilt and make what you are doing acceptable. If you dont love her, fair enuff, you cant force love. Then you have to decide the trade off between your daughter and a new life. You cant have it all, your wife and you, in the first year of a new baby, have gone throught a big transition, I have been there, and felt just the same. But I cant tell you how much joy I get each day, after a bad day at work, seeing my little girl running down the hall screming with Joy, ''Daaadddyyy".
Life is never perfect all the time, but if you get a little bit every now and then, you are doing better than most. If you think this new women you have just met will ever give you that feeling, then she must be quite something.....
To be honest, unless you wife is a complete nightmare, and you have not suggested she is, then, you are being a bit of an ar sehole to be honest.....
Relationships go up and down all the time, but time makes them stronger. But if everytime you hit a low you jump into bed with someone else, then you are better off going now, and give your wife and daughter a hot at long term happiness.
Be honest with yourself, if you cant stick with it, then go....... but dont cry about the consequences........
You say you love your wife, which is bollo x , you are just trying to ease you guilt and make what you are doing acceptable. If you dont love her, fair enuff, you cant force love. Then you have to decide the trade off between your daughter and a new life. You cant have it all, your wife and you, in the first year of a new baby, have gone throught a big transition, I have been there, and felt just the same. But I cant tell you how much joy I get each day, after a bad day at work, seeing my little girl running down the hall screming with Joy, ''Daaadddyyy".
Life is never perfect all the time, but if you get a little bit every now and then, you are doing better than most. If you think this new women you have just met will ever give you that feeling, then she must be quite something.....
To be honest, unless you wife is a complete nightmare, and you have not suggested she is, then, you are being a bit of an ar sehole to be honest.....
Relationships go up and down all the time, but time makes them stronger. But if everytime you hit a low you jump into bed with someone else, then you are better off going now, and give your wife and daughter a hot at long term happiness.
Be honest with yourself, if you cant stick with it, then go....... but dont cry about the consequences........
you will also have to accept that for the next 15 or sao years your wife will probably systematically brainwash your daughter to the point she will probably despise you as well. if you do leave, make sure you get some legal advice first and nail down as much regular and frequent contact as you can and stick to it
Your wife has probably been through the mill the last 2 years what with being pregnant, hormomnal and bringing up a baby, you have to be prepared to take a bit of a back seat at certain times and wait for the better times (as far as your concerned) to return.
My wife's cousin has a husband who is 'confused' and keeps disappearing every few months to 'find himself' and deal with his 'issues', what a crock, he needs to get off his arse stop feeling sorry for himself, start acting like a father and a husband and not some laddish disgruntled gods gift to women prat.
You used the phrase
being honest to myself i love my wife and would never harm her
well bully for you, what does that mean.?
The words bed and lie in it and cake and eat it spring to mind here.
My wife's cousin has a husband who is 'confused' and keeps disappearing every few months to 'find himself' and deal with his 'issues', what a crock, he needs to get off his arse stop feeling sorry for himself, start acting like a father and a husband and not some laddish disgruntled gods gift to women prat.
You used the phrase
being honest to myself i love my wife and would never harm her
well bully for you, what does that mean.?
The words bed and lie in it and cake and eat it spring to mind here.
formcast 07 Sep 10:24
Who has the biggest t1ts?
'bigger', not 'biggest'.
Some of the grammar on here is most unsatisfactory.
Who has the biggest t1ts?
'bigger', not 'biggest'.
Some of the grammar on here is most unsatisfactory.
ultimately i never want to hear my daughter ever call anyone but me dad so i have no choice like some of you have said and as mt bestman said, i will have to put my happyness a side til my daughter gets older.
many men go off their partners when they have a had a child ...the "tightness" goes ...
its the female equivalent of having a small d1ck imo ..
the guy finds a tight one.... and the female equivalent finds a bigger d1ck ...
a bit shallow , but it happens all the time ....
...SIZE MATTERS !!.... ;-)
its the female equivalent of having a small d1ck imo ..
the guy finds a tight one.... and the female equivalent finds a bigger d1ck ...
a bit shallow , but it happens all the time ....
...SIZE MATTERS !!.... ;-)
Londis- I would of thought the grammar on hear would be better two!
i will have to put my happyness a side til my daughter gets older.
Damn right you will.
You brought her into the world and you have a responsibility to her that far outweighs your own selfish desires.
Damn right you will.
You brought her into the world and you have a responsibility to her that far outweighs your own selfish desires.
drift apart = lack of effort.
new bird is obviously gonna be exiting but thats all it is.
come to your senses sharpish or you will regret it badly imo
new bird is obviously gonna be exiting but thats all it is.
come to your senses sharpish or you will regret it badly imo
"i no longer fancy her anymore" -a lot more to it than that.
You sound a shallow,selfish g1t
You sound a shallow,selfish g1t
formcast 07 Sep 10:36
Try dealing with Cancer.........It wont seem much of a problem then
Some of the grammer on here is...................................Well shallow just like this thread................Dip your bread and pray for good health.
Try dealing with Cancer.........It wont seem much of a problem then
Some of the grammer on here is...................................Well shallow just like this thread................Dip your bread and pray for good health.
clarkson 07 Sep 11:06
SDK - Do you work for relate.?
============================
Having been involved with many females ..I got to learn a thing or two .. :-)
SDK - Do you work for relate.?
============================
Having been involved with many females ..I got to learn a thing or two .. :-)
HELLO..........HELlo...........Hello..........hello........ ;)
formcast 07 Sep 11:22
formcast 07 Sep 10:36
Try dealing with Cancer.........It wont seem much of a problem then
Some of the grammer on here is...................................Well shallow just like this thread................Dip your bread and pray for good health.
As for some of the spelling ....
formcast 07 Sep 10:36
Try dealing with Cancer.........It wont seem much of a problem then
Some of the grammer on here is...................................Well shallow just like this thread................Dip your bread and pray for good health.
As for some of the spelling ....
Thinly veiled "Now we've got a baby I'm not the centre of attention and my Mrs ain't putting out so much anymore, my solution is to nail the first piece of fluff to get my hands on."
flatliners advice was a good one for a thread, lets get one set up...
SUNDANCEKID 07 Sep 11:23
Having been involved with many females ..I got to learn a thing or two .. :-)
====================================
Is that how you know what a female feels like with a small dick inside her ? :D
Having been involved with many females ..I got to learn a thing or two .. :-)
====================================
Is that how you know what a female feels like with a small dick inside her ? :D
Dick Quax 07 Sep 10:18
Batman/Superman costumes for sale on ebay.
_______________________________________________________
Actually laughed out loud - post of the year imo!! :^0
Batman/Superman costumes for sale on ebay.
_______________________________________________________
Actually laughed out loud - post of the year imo!! :^0
Looking into the future I see:
"Someone" finishing buying his house while gifting it to his wife.
Being hated by his ex-wife.
Having his daughter turned against him.
Being dumped by the new girlfriend.
Ending up a skint,lonely,middle-aged saddo living in bedsit-land.
"Someone" finishing buying his house while gifting it to his wife.
Being hated by his ex-wife.
Having his daughter turned against him.
Being dumped by the new girlfriend.
Ending up a skint,lonely,middle-aged saddo living in bedsit-land.
we have spoken today and a Marriage Guidance Counsellor looks to be the way forward. once again thank you all for your input and today me ,my wife and daughter had a very enjoyable day together in hastings on a day out.
NW, I've been there and followed the 'love' route. The wife left me, taking our two children and moving 40 miles away. Needless to say the relationship with the new girlfriend didn't work out and I'm now left alone. I've been lucky in that I have lots of access to the children and still get on well with my ex-wife. I certainly agree with the posters that say you should give the realtionship with your wife a chance. There's nothing worse than having to say goodbye to your children after a visit.
My 16 month old son is the light of my life. Losing access to him would be the worst thing in the world.
Luckily I also adore my wife (for all her faults), so not tempted.
We have been together for 12 years.
Lust fades, love (for children and partner) endures........
good luck Nomadic, think of your daughter. Glad to see you are taking steps in the right direction. It will be worth it, to see your child growing up
Luckily I also adore my wife (for all her faults), so not tempted.
We have been together for 12 years.
Lust fades, love (for children and partner) endures........
good luck Nomadic, think of your daughter. Glad to see you are taking steps in the right direction. It will be worth it, to see your child growing up
if u tell the missus then u will p1ss her off. big time. she will throw u out of yr house, which u probably pay for, and ruin u financially. then - remember its yr fault, so she will be multo spiteful about this - she will make access to yr children difficult and poison the poor kid against u, by brainwashing it into thinking that their father is a rite, selfish**ah.
and she has a point. u have a child and life isnt all about u now, is it? u dont come first anymore - the child does.
-----
so, u have 2 options.
a. dump tartybit and act like a real man and be a father to yr child
b. u shoot yr wife in the face. dead.then move yer new doris in.
PS. never, EVER forget, most wimmin are evil, spiteful vermin. if they had a choice of doing a good deed and being happy, or making somebody elses life miserable and being unhappy themselves, they would go for the double misery route. i really dont know why - but that, im afraid, is wimmin.
and she has a point. u have a child and life isnt all about u now, is it? u dont come first anymore - the child does.
-----
so, u have 2 options.
a. dump tartybit and act like a real man and be a father to yr child
b. u shoot yr wife in the face. dead.then move yer new doris in.
PS. never, EVER forget, most wimmin are evil, spiteful vermin. if they had a choice of doing a good deed and being happy, or making somebody elses life miserable and being unhappy themselves, they would go for the double misery route. i really dont know why - but that, im afraid, is wimmin.
Good luck Nomadic - but I cannot believe ANYONE has an enjoyable day out in Hastings ffs
do English people pronounce "women" as "wimmin"?
not really, I pronouce "women" as "birds", I dont know why but the English language can be odd at times
For a definative answer I checked out wikipedia and I quote , "women are Split Arses".
Nomadic Way 07 Sep 10:12
if you had a 1 year old child and you are married and also have met someone else and have spent a night out together and left in the morning which was fantastic and made you feel alive again what would you do ?
I'd grow up and stop behaving like a horse's arse.
Want to know what's wrong with the country? Look no further than irresponsible pillocks like this guy. The complete inability of people to look beyond their own feeble-minded needs has provided us with a nation of morally bankrupt, gutless good for nothing **s who spend their time blaming everybody else for the ills of the world without realising it's their own spineless selfishness that's taking us all to hell.
It's no wonder none of you can maintain a relationship, the men on here seem to exhibit the emotional maturity and usefulness of a pedal car.
Other than that, no strong feelings about the issue really.
if you had a 1 year old child and you are married and also have met someone else and have spent a night out together and left in the morning which was fantastic and made you feel alive again what would you do ?
I'd grow up and stop behaving like a horse's arse.
Want to know what's wrong with the country? Look no further than irresponsible pillocks like this guy. The complete inability of people to look beyond their own feeble-minded needs has provided us with a nation of morally bankrupt, gutless good for nothing **s who spend their time blaming everybody else for the ills of the world without realising it's their own spineless selfishness that's taking us all to hell.
It's no wonder none of you can maintain a relationship, the men on here seem to exhibit the emotional maturity and usefulness of a pedal car.
Other than that, no strong feelings about the issue really.
Well sayed Mr QC
we all have rocky patches all i can say is my daughters are 10 & 8 and the last 10 years have been the best of my life & wouldnt swap them for the world so think on NW and get real........
we all have rocky patches all i can say is my daughters are 10 & 8 and the last 10 years have been the best of my life & wouldnt swap them for the world so think on NW and get real........
*particularly like the bit about taking us to hell.....in a hand cart
I am wise beyond words Bertie and arrogant beyond belief; it's what makes me so damned lovable!
I never di like the one about "self praise is no praise"
missed a d sorry.....these 5o clock starts for the daughters swimming play havoc with my typing....
Ouch, I had a week of that with my god-daughter. The parents' dedication was astonishing.
nomadic - if yr still alive, cast yr mind back to aTV programme called GMTV and an interview with the one-legged, money-grabbing lunatic that is heather mills. remember those bulging, psychotic eyes, the deranged rantings? thats what yr wife will be like, when she has found out that u have found, in yr opinion, something better.
u know how the sex life between u and yr wife has 'gone downhill' recently? she wont 'experiment' or 'try something new'? well, she will when u leave her for this new piece. that weekend every month, when yr allowed access to yr child (who, by the way, now despises you), she will be getting slotted all over the shop, by blokes who will be doing more 'experimenting' on her, than isaac newton ever did on a pound of apples.
yer new doris wont last long, once she has got u away from yr family. she will start being different, saying that 'its all going a bit quick' and 'u should be yrself for a while'. then she will say that she is 'sorry, but its all over. the relationship started out the wrong way - i guess its a karma thing'. u will subsequently hear, that 'she is facking some other married bloke - thats what she has done for yrs. i told u not to go there!' from yr best mate.
u will be left all alone, except for that precious weekend with yr child (who facking hates u and wont speak to you) and an aging collection of crusty bongo mags (u cant afford new ones, because yer ex missus takes 50% of yr wages in maintenance). yr parents will cry themselves to sleep, not being able to see their grandchild and all yer friends will disown u (that ex-wife of yrs can be very 'persuasive' - especially when she is nailing yr best mate)
so yr skint, losing yr hair, getting fatter by the minute, friendless and hated by yer parents (who cant understand why u would ever leave such a wonderful mother) and loathed by yr child.
or, of course, u could get THE one. u know, THE woman, the dream. and it is all a dream, hunting for that woman. the woman who is nice, caring, understanding, funny, sensible and not selfish.
but, like the loch ness monster, does such a woman exist, or is it all a myth?
u know how the sex life between u and yr wife has 'gone downhill' recently? she wont 'experiment' or 'try something new'? well, she will when u leave her for this new piece. that weekend every month, when yr allowed access to yr child (who, by the way, now despises you), she will be getting slotted all over the shop, by blokes who will be doing more 'experimenting' on her, than isaac newton ever did on a pound of apples.
yer new doris wont last long, once she has got u away from yr family. she will start being different, saying that 'its all going a bit quick' and 'u should be yrself for a while'. then she will say that she is 'sorry, but its all over. the relationship started out the wrong way - i guess its a karma thing'. u will subsequently hear, that 'she is facking some other married bloke - thats what she has done for yrs. i told u not to go there!' from yr best mate.
u will be left all alone, except for that precious weekend with yr child (who facking hates u and wont speak to you) and an aging collection of crusty bongo mags (u cant afford new ones, because yer ex missus takes 50% of yr wages in maintenance). yr parents will cry themselves to sleep, not being able to see their grandchild and all yer friends will disown u (that ex-wife of yrs can be very 'persuasive' - especially when she is nailing yr best mate)
so yr skint, losing yr hair, getting fatter by the minute, friendless and hated by yer parents (who cant understand why u would ever leave such a wonderful mother) and loathed by yr child.
or, of course, u could get THE one. u know, THE woman, the dream. and it is all a dream, hunting for that woman. the woman who is nice, caring, understanding, funny, sensible and not selfish.
but, like the loch ness monster, does such a woman exist, or is it all a myth?
Relationships go up and down all the time, but time makes them stronger. But if everytime you hit a low you jump into bed with someone else, then you are better off going now, and give your wife and daughter a hot at long term happiness.
Be honest with yourself, if you cant stick with it, then go....... but dont cry about the consequences
perfect.
Be honest with yourself, if you cant stick with it, then go....... but dont cry about the consequences
perfect.
The new sort you have met is an irrelevance - funny that you are even beginning to compare your wife and mother of your child to a woman youve spent one night with - grow up, man!
Your problem was created a while back now, people do drift apart and fall out of love, but usually it takes a little longer than a couple of years! how you can be in this position with a 1 year old child is beyond me, you clearly didnt love your partner when you conceived (if you think you did, you dont know what true love is). As Oriole said, this story is far too familiar in the UK these days.
Got married, had kids, kids grown up, been together 20+ years and then got tired of each other and want to move on??? fine and understandable...
...but for this happen so soon is unforgivable - I feel very sorry for your child.
Your problem was created a while back now, people do drift apart and fall out of love, but usually it takes a little longer than a couple of years! how you can be in this position with a 1 year old child is beyond me, you clearly didnt love your partner when you conceived (if you think you did, you dont know what true love is). As Oriole said, this story is far too familiar in the UK these days.
Got married, had kids, kids grown up, been together 20+ years and then got tired of each other and want to move on??? fine and understandable...
...but for this happen so soon is unforgivable - I feel very sorry for your child.
I haven't read anything else on here but if I know one thing, I know chit-chatters. Get stuck in son, ditch the miserable wife and get elbows deep in your new pet slapper. You can always have other kids.
THIS IS AN HISTORIC MOMENT!!!!!
After 5 years plus on here-I actually agree with something Orioles has posted!
Bring out the champagne! :)
After 5 years plus on here-I actually agree with something Orioles has posted!
Bring out the champagne! :)
My butler's name is not Jeeves!
I hope this clarifies the matter!
I hope this clarifies the matter!
And I'm just separating the milk solids and water from the fat.
I hope this clarifies the butter.
I hope this clarifies the butter.
Removing water from it does not clarify the butter.
I hope this clarifies the matter!
Dr Aristotle Slicer PhD MB BS B Pharm MRCVS DRCOG Cert BHD
Professor of Dairy Scientology North Southeast Mumbai University
I hope this clarifies the matter!
Dr Aristotle Slicer PhD MB BS B Pharm MRCVS DRCOG Cert BHD
Professor of Dairy Scientology North Southeast Mumbai University
hi, its been six weeks now since i moved out into a bed sit.I'm still paying half towards all my wife and daughter bills (mortgage,nursery ect.). To be honest I've only got about £350 to live off once everything has been paid out a month.
Looking back now i never left my wife for this other 'woman' just the fact my heart and mind were no longer as one together. I've lost around 2 stone in 3 months and now my weight has finally leveled off. stress can crush anyone young or old. but living a life where you stay together for the sake of your children is worse in my opinion.
My wife lets me see my daughter and has taken everything that belongs to me down within the home she hated me but too this day she don't know i had **ed on her.
Advice for anyone who is not in love and **ing on their partners stop **ing and be honest with yourself and your partner love can't be controlled and can't be bought by money and can't be true contained.
I'm not completely happy only seeing my daughter twice a week but at least i'm true to myself and one day my wife will be loved for true once again by another man. i'm still a good fater as my wife would agree with but husband i am not. their is a big difference between the two.
thanks for all the honest and good advice that was given. I'm still seeing the other lady and very happy and can say with my hand on my heart i'm at peace .
poem,
true love is just like a ghost we all think and talk about it but very few ever felt one.
Looking back now i never left my wife for this other 'woman' just the fact my heart and mind were no longer as one together. I've lost around 2 stone in 3 months and now my weight has finally leveled off. stress can crush anyone young or old. but living a life where you stay together for the sake of your children is worse in my opinion.
My wife lets me see my daughter and has taken everything that belongs to me down within the home she hated me but too this day she don't know i had **ed on her.
Advice for anyone who is not in love and **ing on their partners stop **ing and be honest with yourself and your partner love can't be controlled and can't be bought by money and can't be true contained.
I'm not completely happy only seeing my daughter twice a week but at least i'm true to myself and one day my wife will be loved for true once again by another man. i'm still a good fater as my wife would agree with but husband i am not. their is a big difference between the two.
thanks for all the honest and good advice that was given. I'm still seeing the other lady and very happy and can say with my hand on my heart i'm at peace .
poem,
true love is just like a ghost we all think and talk about it but very few ever felt one.
good luck nomadic, hopefully the path you have chosen will give you a chance at true happiness
_londis_lagerhound_ 07 Sep 11:05
i will have to put my happyness a side til my daughter gets older.
Damn right you will.
You brought her into the world and you have a responsibility to her that far outweighs your own selfish desires.
Awful, awful post
Its not because you have children your life is over you know. No-One should have to live in misery for the sake of keeping the boat still for the kids
Do you realise the environment of bitterness and resentment that child could be brought up in?
i will have to put my happyness a side til my daughter gets older.
Damn right you will.
You brought her into the world and you have a responsibility to her that far outweighs your own selfish desires.
Awful, awful post
Its not because you have children your life is over you know. No-One should have to live in misery for the sake of keeping the boat still for the kids
Do you realise the environment of bitterness and resentment that child could be brought up in?
I have been in a very similar situation in the past.
1 year after birth of our daughter and 4 years together I started seeing my bosses PA. She was young, sexy and good fun. This went on for about year and a half and my relationship crumbled with my partner. I did stop the affair eventually as the situatuion was very grim, a mixture of guilt, my mistress wanting me to move in with her and the fear of being found out and not seeing my daughter every day. In the end I ditched the mistress and moved out to be on my own and now I have joint custody of my daughter (although if I ever got caught I wouldn't have as I was always warned 'if you ** you won't see your daughter much!').
Top and tail of it is I was much happier before I started the affair and I now realise I really did love my ex and I still miss her a lot. I have had subsequent brief acquaintences but nothing significant and I really don't think I will meet a woman who will be my soulmate like my ex was.
The lesson I have learnt is, 'you don't know what you got until its gone.' Ditch the mistress, work hard with your wife at putting things right. If it doesn't work at least you have tried and will not have regrets. Good luck and be careful what you wish for.
1 year after birth of our daughter and 4 years together I started seeing my bosses PA. She was young, sexy and good fun. This went on for about year and a half and my relationship crumbled with my partner. I did stop the affair eventually as the situatuion was very grim, a mixture of guilt, my mistress wanting me to move in with her and the fear of being found out and not seeing my daughter every day. In the end I ditched the mistress and moved out to be on my own and now I have joint custody of my daughter (although if I ever got caught I wouldn't have as I was always warned 'if you ** you won't see your daughter much!').
Top and tail of it is I was much happier before I started the affair and I now realise I really did love my ex and I still miss her a lot. I have had subsequent brief acquaintences but nothing significant and I really don't think I will meet a woman who will be my soulmate like my ex was.
The lesson I have learnt is, 'you don't know what you got until its gone.' Ditch the mistress, work hard with your wife at putting things right. If it doesn't work at least you have tried and will not have regrets. Good luck and be careful what you wish for.
Sorry never realised date of original post and the update! good luck
thank you for your very kind relpys.
to be honest if i stayed i reckon i would have ended up in a mental home with a broken soul. i was becoming very run down and sad towards the end losing weight even having 2 cold sores one after the other which my doctor said he had never seen before in 14 years.
everyone will say how can you leave a wife with a 1 year oldchild. well the answer is simple you can't , but my health was becoming a major issue and i still can't believe how even my wifes family sad and angry as they are/were they seem to have re opened the door for me as they also knew how hard my choice was.
once again thank you for your helpful posts.
to be honest if i stayed i reckon i would have ended up in a mental home with a broken soul. i was becoming very run down and sad towards the end losing weight even having 2 cold sores one after the other which my doctor said he had never seen before in 14 years.
everyone will say how can you leave a wife with a 1 year oldchild. well the answer is simple you can't , but my health was becoming a major issue and i still can't believe how even my wifes family sad and angry as they are/were they seem to have re opened the door for me as they also knew how hard my choice was.
once again thank you for your helpful posts.
Mate of mine has just left his missus and two kids for another bloke - now that has caused heartache ...
Sounds like you did the right thing, Nomadic. Good luck.
Jeez, wires, that must have been really tricky.
Jeez, wires, that must have been really tricky.
My advice would initially be to see if your wife is happy to wear a mask during lovemaking.
Is there any particular reason why you no longer 'fancy' your wife?
nomadic - 3 months in and yr new bit still luvs u, eh? well, from personal experience, they can usually keep up an act of being decent, normal human beings for a maximum of 6 months. then the act stops, the mask drops and the real evil and spite surfaces.
good luck and hope yr ex dont turn yr kid against u so much that she resents u for the rest of yr life, eventually refusing to see 'the man that ruined my childhood and life.' mother have a lot of power over their daughters, u know - especially when u aint there to defend yrself.
i genuinely hope u have found a 'rogue doris', a bird who slipped 'under the radar' of vileness and she is that most mythical of creatures - a decent, sane and kind woman.
good luck and hope yr ex dont turn yr kid against u so much that she resents u for the rest of yr life, eventually refusing to see 'the man that ruined my childhood and life.' mother have a lot of power over their daughters, u know - especially when u aint there to defend yrself.
i genuinely hope u have found a 'rogue doris', a bird who slipped 'under the radar' of vileness and she is that most mythical of creatures - a decent, sane and kind woman.
and? has she poisoned yr childs mind against u yet?
i grew up in an environment where my parents clearly didnt get on with each other, it was only once i left home that they decided to go their seperate ways. i wish they'd done it years before...
I doubt many of you will care and for anyone going through that tough patch keep your head up.
It's been over a year now and for anyone who feels scared of not seeing their child or children don't be.My divorce as it still stands is a mess,but new hope has grown.I've met someone and so far so good.
My problem is the grass is always better in the other field? My ex hate's me and them dreams of one day sitting down and eating in a meal somewhere,well who was i kidding there are no winners and only losers.
I still see my daughter and she's fit and well.She is 2 years old now and finds it hard saying goodbye.We all think were tough but I can assure you when someone you love clings to you when saying goodbye you'll break inside.Many times my wife's tried to ruin whatever goes on between me and my daughter but i've learnt a few things-
count how many problems you've got?
when was the last time someone you care about really asked how you are?
if your un happy why?
be truthful to yourself because otherwise youll destroy everything.
Anyway at the moment everything is very well and in a way i was surprised how humble you can be when people stick togehter.
If you feel numb and are becoming more like your partner and less like yourself you'll understand how tough it is to find the strenght to think and look after yourself? perhaps your already ill and not taking care of yourself ? only you know that.
For the 1st time in a long time i'm happy and i'm tony again.thats worth more that anything . As I once was told.''if you can't look after yourself you really ain't much help to anyone else''...
be yourself not someone else.
It's been over a year now and for anyone who feels scared of not seeing their child or children don't be.My divorce as it still stands is a mess,but new hope has grown.I've met someone and so far so good.
My problem is the grass is always better in the other field? My ex hate's me and them dreams of one day sitting down and eating in a meal somewhere,well who was i kidding there are no winners and only losers.
I still see my daughter and she's fit and well.She is 2 years old now and finds it hard saying goodbye.We all think were tough but I can assure you when someone you love clings to you when saying goodbye you'll break inside.Many times my wife's tried to ruin whatever goes on between me and my daughter but i've learnt a few things-
count how many problems you've got?
when was the last time someone you care about really asked how you are?
if your un happy why?
be truthful to yourself because otherwise youll destroy everything.
Anyway at the moment everything is very well and in a way i was surprised how humble you can be when people stick togehter.
If you feel numb and are becoming more like your partner and less like yourself you'll understand how tough it is to find the strenght to think and look after yourself? perhaps your already ill and not taking care of yourself ? only you know that.
For the 1st time in a long time i'm happy and i'm tony again.thats worth more that anything . As I once was told.''if you can't look after yourself you really ain't much help to anyone else''...
be yourself not someone else.
thank you..one thing i've learnt is you can be a good father and a terrible husband..never confuse the 2.
good man nomadiac
interesting read- its fecking hard keeping a relationship going but i'd hate to lose my daughter even if it was just weekends
sometimes my partner annoys the hell out of me- lack of sex, lack of spark together etc but coming home to my daughter and her running to the door when i come home from work is the highlight of my day
but if the love is gone then maybe so should you
interesting read- its fecking hard keeping a relationship going but i'd hate to lose my daughter even if it was just weekends
sometimes my partner annoys the hell out of me- lack of sex, lack of spark together etc but coming home to my daughter and her running to the door when i come home from work is the highlight of my day
but if the love is gone then maybe so should you
thank you all for you replys and Sharky ^ thats vwas ery brave off you to admit that to yourself.
You can flit from filly to filly and cause chaos and heartache for yourself and any children that may be born during your drifting, but one day you will look back and realise one lady was the best thing that ever happened to you, the lucky/wise man never needs this hindsight because he spends the rest of his life with this lady.
dunno what happened me then.
i was happy enough , decent guy , certainly not perfect but we had a lot of good times. helped her through 6 years of uni , with 2 children , mortgage , tried to keep several weekends and good holidays twice a year etc , wasnt a total drag to live with , she didnt have to work for the 10 years we were together.
she just up and left with another guy out of nowhere.
not much i can do about that.
had kids week on / week off for 2 years , then she said i was only to have them 2 days a week , in court and was a lamb to the slaughter.
now shes taking them to another country and nothing i can do.
sort of miffed at guys that can make the decisions to keep it all together. like its their decision , dunno what i did wrong like
i was happy enough , decent guy , certainly not perfect but we had a lot of good times. helped her through 6 years of uni , with 2 children , mortgage , tried to keep several weekends and good holidays twice a year etc , wasnt a total drag to live with , she didnt have to work for the 10 years we were together.
she just up and left with another guy out of nowhere.
not much i can do about that.
had kids week on / week off for 2 years , then she said i was only to have them 2 days a week , in court and was a lamb to the slaughter.
now shes taking them to another country and nothing i can do.
sort of miffed at guys that can make the decisions to keep it all together. like its their decision , dunno what i did wrong like
stevie - why do you say there is nothing you can do about her taking them abroad?
because im currently in the middle of a court case to stop it.
its just a total joke , i have to fight tooth and nail to justify that i am a parent ? yet she pishes all over the system and has only her own interests at heart and is treated like a victim? its crazy!
i went to the court to try and stop the move after hearing from the kids about it. i walked in expecting fairness , well anything was better than her attitude of " im moving and theres nothing you can do to stop me , legally or otherwise , ive looked into it"
day one in court , went from an active parent of 12 years , 2 years shared custody to 2 days a week on a supposed interim period.
5 months later of what i would consider to be emotional abuse by her , the courts granted her residence order and contact for me of 2 days a week.
i was seeing less and less of my children and she was , for want of a better term "turning them against me" wouldnt have believed it years ago ,but she was blaming me for the situation etc , kids thinking i was the bad guy , she was involving 2 young children in something they should of been protected from.
out of nowhere she went to court and asked for the kids to be interviewed and asked what they wanted.
this was done in her home etc and the kids said they wanted to be with her and wanted to move away etc.
in fact they couldnt of said it better if they had a script in front of them.
so now the courts will wipe their hands of it saying they are following the kids best interests. bullsh1t!
i have one last chance to stop this in march.
ive no chance going by whats went before.
my kids are not nor ever have been religious and especially not Catholic. now she has them enrolled in a convent school called light of christ or some sh1te.
i spend most of my time thinking about this and i know deep within my soul that this move is so wrong for them on so many levels , i wouldnt need to describe the worst case scenarios for lost teenage girls.
they are two of the most fantastic girls , such good children.
tears me apart to see the selfish interests of their mother jeopardise the balance and stability they have in their formulative years.
all i can do is be there for them , they are sitting beside me now settling down to watch a movie.
sometimes i think that the people who try to do the right thing are the most sh1t upon.
so many guys couldnt give a toss yet they are begged by the mothers to be involved. she wants the opposite , wants this new guy to be the role model and me to be the ** who gets them on the odd holiday and the scapegoat for all their future problems.
its just a total joke , i have to fight tooth and nail to justify that i am a parent ? yet she pishes all over the system and has only her own interests at heart and is treated like a victim? its crazy!
i went to the court to try and stop the move after hearing from the kids about it. i walked in expecting fairness , well anything was better than her attitude of " im moving and theres nothing you can do to stop me , legally or otherwise , ive looked into it"
day one in court , went from an active parent of 12 years , 2 years shared custody to 2 days a week on a supposed interim period.
5 months later of what i would consider to be emotional abuse by her , the courts granted her residence order and contact for me of 2 days a week.
i was seeing less and less of my children and she was , for want of a better term "turning them against me" wouldnt have believed it years ago ,but she was blaming me for the situation etc , kids thinking i was the bad guy , she was involving 2 young children in something they should of been protected from.
out of nowhere she went to court and asked for the kids to be interviewed and asked what they wanted.
this was done in her home etc and the kids said they wanted to be with her and wanted to move away etc.
in fact they couldnt of said it better if they had a script in front of them.
so now the courts will wipe their hands of it saying they are following the kids best interests. bullsh1t!
i have one last chance to stop this in march.
ive no chance going by whats went before.
my kids are not nor ever have been religious and especially not Catholic. now she has them enrolled in a convent school called light of christ or some sh1te.
i spend most of my time thinking about this and i know deep within my soul that this move is so wrong for them on so many levels , i wouldnt need to describe the worst case scenarios for lost teenage girls.
they are two of the most fantastic girls , such good children.
tears me apart to see the selfish interests of their mother jeopardise the balance and stability they have in their formulative years.
all i can do is be there for them , they are sitting beside me now settling down to watch a movie.
sometimes i think that the people who try to do the right thing are the most sh1t upon.
so many guys couldnt give a toss yet they are begged by the mothers to be involved. she wants the opposite , wants this new guy to be the role model and me to be the ** who gets them on the odd holiday and the scapegoat for all their future problems.
stevie
Jeez that is incredible - you must be in bits.
I presume part of the reason you are at your wits end is because you feel like you have explored every opportunity to stop this and you have already contacted anyone or any organisation you think could help. Has the court then already said for sure they will side with the Mother on allowing her to relocate, despite your protestations? I know what you mean about the resident parent putting words in to the kids mouths even if your relationship with them is fine, but with the best will in the world this is bound to happen.
I went through something similar a couple of years ago and was advised by both my solicitor and FNF (families need fathers) that I would be unlikely to stop a move abroad if she could prove that the kids would be in a decent home and school and she could sustain them. I ended up agreeing to it through gritted teeth, but with reasonable access, and a lot of insistances.
Jeez that is incredible - you must be in bits.
I presume part of the reason you are at your wits end is because you feel like you have explored every opportunity to stop this and you have already contacted anyone or any organisation you think could help. Has the court then already said for sure they will side with the Mother on allowing her to relocate, despite your protestations? I know what you mean about the resident parent putting words in to the kids mouths even if your relationship with them is fine, but with the best will in the world this is bound to happen.
I went through something similar a couple of years ago and was advised by both my solicitor and FNF (families need fathers) that I would be unlikely to stop a move abroad if she could prove that the kids would be in a decent home and school and she could sustain them. I ended up agreeing to it through gritted teeth, but with reasonable access, and a lot of insistances.
Anyone ever been involved in a situation where for many years they have been secretly seen another woman behind theres wifes back for days out , fancy meals , long phone calls etc but the intimacy has never got beyond the occasional awkward hug at the end of the evening - does this count as an affair ?
wires I think you mean seeing a friend of the opposite sex.
I know - but in secret because the wife would hit the roof ...
Women don`t tend to understand this friends of the `opposite sex ` especailly wives contrary to myth - hence the secrecy .
Do other chit-chatters have women friends who their wives feel comfortable about their husbands seen on a regular basis( not work related) ?
Women don`t tend to understand this friends of the `opposite sex ` especailly wives contrary to myth - hence the secrecy .
Do other chit-chatters have women friends who their wives feel comfortable about their husbands seen on a regular basis( not work related) ?
hrh
it is incredibly difficult. and there is so much more to the story.
but i am strong. i know what im fighting for is right and true and that helps.
i dont think ill stop the kids moving.
it is 50/50 i reckon and i think if i do stop her she will just appeal it and continue the fight.
and that is no good for the kids, i can maybe stop her for another 6 months with appeals etc but where does that leave them?
so ill drop it and support them.
important for them to know i am supportive and that they can talk to me , it wont be easy for them being in a new place and they dont understand.
i need them to be able to open up to me about it all.
they then can ask em to come back if thats what they want.
they will eventually.
its so complex and i am easy going and have incredible insight.
i know this move will hurt them and it is open to failure in so many ways. or i would have accepted it and tried to be positive and prevent the pain and cost of the courts now.
maybe i can stop her with the catholic thing , surely thats not gonna work out. i am not anti christian but my kids certainly arent brainwashed and wont last 5 minutes in a convent fecking school.
so thats not in their best interests.
but she has school , doctor , house , job etc etc all lined up.
as far as the court system goes i am a man, i am not a parent.
i do not have equal rights regardless of the sh1te they promote.
i have 100% the kids best interests at heart.
i am only a ** in there , because i am male i am automatically unfit to be a parent.
so ill wait and try again in march , likely that will fail like everything else in the court.
then i will have to be all happy and positive for the kids watching my little angels be ripped from me with little or no thought or care for our relationship.
but they will come back , of that i am certain
it is incredibly difficult. and there is so much more to the story.
but i am strong. i know what im fighting for is right and true and that helps.
i dont think ill stop the kids moving.
it is 50/50 i reckon and i think if i do stop her she will just appeal it and continue the fight.
and that is no good for the kids, i can maybe stop her for another 6 months with appeals etc but where does that leave them?
so ill drop it and support them.
important for them to know i am supportive and that they can talk to me , it wont be easy for them being in a new place and they dont understand.
i need them to be able to open up to me about it all.
they then can ask em to come back if thats what they want.
they will eventually.
its so complex and i am easy going and have incredible insight.
i know this move will hurt them and it is open to failure in so many ways. or i would have accepted it and tried to be positive and prevent the pain and cost of the courts now.
maybe i can stop her with the catholic thing , surely thats not gonna work out. i am not anti christian but my kids certainly arent brainwashed and wont last 5 minutes in a convent fecking school.
so thats not in their best interests.
but she has school , doctor , house , job etc etc all lined up.
as far as the court system goes i am a man, i am not a parent.
i do not have equal rights regardless of the sh1te they promote.
i have 100% the kids best interests at heart.
i am only a ** in there , because i am male i am automatically unfit to be a parent.
so ill wait and try again in march , likely that will fail like everything else in the court.
then i will have to be all happy and positive for the kids watching my little angels be ripped from me with little or no thought or care for our relationship.
but they will come back , of that i am certain
stevie
Sadly, you seem to know the score and it certainly isn't a level playing field! I won't even offer advice on the bleedin' obvious as you come across as an informed bloke and a decent man and father. I wish you well and hope your longterm relationship with your kids stays as strong as you deserve, even if it ends up at a distance.
Sadly, you seem to know the score and it certainly isn't a level playing field! I won't even offer advice on the bleedin' obvious as you come across as an informed bloke and a decent man and father. I wish you well and hope your longterm relationship with your kids stays as strong as you deserve, even if it ends up at a distance.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence...........except when you get there and you realise you need to maintain the F**king stuff. :^0 stick with the wife imho. You wont regret it.
thanks hrh.
happens more and more often these days.
ill never walk away from them and i know they will be back, maybe take months, years , many of them.
life goes on too.
happens more and more often these days.
ill never walk away from them and i know they will be back, maybe take months, years , many of them.
life goes on too.
best of luck Steve and Nomadic Way.
BestrRevenge is to live a good and happy life.
BestrRevenge is to live a good and happy life.
stevie
just read your post(s), all the very best to you mate, one day the clouds will lift, never underestimate kids, they can pick up if a parent is being a bit to one sided, keep being a dad as best you can, you will always be their dad no matter what, one day they will be old enough to make their own judgements..all the best
just read your post(s), all the very best to you mate, one day the clouds will lift, never underestimate kids, they can pick up if a parent is being a bit to one sided, keep being a dad as best you can, you will always be their dad no matter what, one day they will be old enough to make their own judgements..all the best
stevie_p 15 Jan 23:12
as far as the court system goes i am a man, i am not a parent.
i do not have equal rights regardless of the sh1te they promote.
i have 100% the kids best interests at heart.
i am only a ****** in there , because i am male i am automatically unfit to be a parent.
That's something that's got to change, the idea that men are less than human. In most cases, we are seen as sperm donors and walking wallets, objects of fun and ridicule. Just look at any tv channel or read what the ball-deficient members of parliament have to say. There is no justice for men in British courts if they are up against a female.
Women don't vote for the common good, they only ever vote for their own good. They consume more than men from the welfare state yet contribute far less.
Because of the brainwashing of outdated chivalry, men have been led to believe that tender feelings are from their 'feminine' side, as though loving and caring are beyond masculinity.
Most divorces are initiated by females and, once divorced, most fathers are excluded from their children's lives and are then derided as deadbeat dads.
Families Need Fathers works with Mothers Apart from Their Children, so don't expect much help there. Fathers 4 Justice could use your support, though. The feminazis hate them and lie about them so they must be good.
Good luck.
as far as the court system goes i am a man, i am not a parent.
i do not have equal rights regardless of the sh1te they promote.
i have 100% the kids best interests at heart.
i am only a ****** in there , because i am male i am automatically unfit to be a parent.
That's something that's got to change, the idea that men are less than human. In most cases, we are seen as sperm donors and walking wallets, objects of fun and ridicule. Just look at any tv channel or read what the ball-deficient members of parliament have to say. There is no justice for men in British courts if they are up against a female.
Women don't vote for the common good, they only ever vote for their own good. They consume more than men from the welfare state yet contribute far less.
Because of the brainwashing of outdated chivalry, men have been led to believe that tender feelings are from their 'feminine' side, as though loving and caring are beyond masculinity.
Most divorces are initiated by females and, once divorced, most fathers are excluded from their children's lives and are then derided as deadbeat dads.
Families Need Fathers works with Mothers Apart from Their Children, so don't expect much help there. Fathers 4 Justice could use your support, though. The feminazis hate them and lie about them so they must be good.
Good luck.
Boy am i glad I didn't get married... this is exactly what I was worried about....
I walked out on my wife and two kids. She was bitter and although she married again she made life very tough. Pre-arranged visits were cancelled at the last minute or the kids would be elsewhere when I phoned. It led to a lot of tension and rows which just upset my two girls so I just stood back and left well alone. They grow up fast and by the time they were twelve/thirteen they could arrange there own visits and we eventually built a nice life and relationship together (my current wife has been an angel.never taking sides,never interfering.) Now my daughters are in their thirties and we have a solid,proper relationship. It worked out well in the end.
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