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16 Jan 10
13:38
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Date Joined:
30 May 05
1: If you are unfortunate enough to be trapped in a smoke filled burning builing, insert a hosepipe into your toilet. There is a supply of fresh air on the other side of the U-Bend.
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Its a good job i carry a spare hosepipe with me just in case.
A condom can hold an enormous amount of water, if you're caught in a desert, at an oasis, have an urgent lunch appointment some distance from the oasis and don't mind drinking spvnky water.
A wet suit gives good protection from stomach acid if you're swallowed alive by a whale.
The urine of a healthy man is sterile and can be drunk if you're in dire need of water. Female urine is unlikely to be sterile for reasons that need not concern us here.
Regarding the hose pipe problem...The intelligent ones will use the shower hose or the hose from from one of thos shampooing thingies.
The sarcastic ones are gonna die. Goody! :D
The sarcastic ones are gonna die. Goody! :D
If you ever find yoursel in Harlem, New York, wearing nothing but a sandwich board proclaiming 'I hate n i g g e r s', make sure you have a gun taped to the inside of a board.
If your plummeting down in a falling lift at 3,000 miles an hour simply jump up just before it hits the bottom and you will be ok.
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