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16 Jan 10
13:38
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Date Joined:
30 May 05
1: If you are unfortunate enough to be trapped in a smoke filled burning builing, insert a hosepipe into your toilet. There is a supply of fresh air on the other side of the U-Bend.
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Its a good job i carry a spare hosepipe with me just in case.
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Yeh, like you'd have a hosepipe handy.
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I sell hosepipes if you are interested
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A condom can hold an enormous amount of water, if you're caught in a desert, at an oasis, have an urgent lunch appointment some distance from the oasis and don't mind drinking spvnky water.
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have you found my stash, minj?
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A wet suit gives good protection from stomach acid if you're swallowed alive by a whale.
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The urine of a healthy man is sterile and can be drunk if you're in dire need of water. Female urine is unlikely to be sterile for reasons that need not concern us here.
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Regarding the hose pipe problem...The intelligent ones will use the shower hose or the hose from from one of thos shampooing thingies.
The sarcastic ones are gonna die. Goody! :D |
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If you ever find yoursel in Harlem, New York, wearing nothing but a sandwich board proclaiming 'I hate n i g g e r s', make sure you have a gun taped to the inside of a board.
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If your plummeting down in a falling lift at 3,000 miles an hour simply jump up just before it hits the bottom and you will be ok.
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wur :^0 :^0 :^0
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Tru. I saw that in the 'Road Runner' cartoons.
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http://www.amazon.co.uk/Worst-Case-Scenario-Survival-Handbook-Handbooks/dp/0811825558
good book on such things |