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Tevez is God
07 Jan 10 19:41
Joined:
Date Joined: 31 Mar 07
| Topic/replies: 5,825 | Blogger: Tevez is God's blog
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been f****d?'

The fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'

She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'
Pause • Switch to Standard View FEMALE COMPASSION
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Report annie. • January 7, 2010 9:12 PM GMT
:)
Report ladycakes69 • January 7, 2010 9:12 PM GMT
:D deary me
Report STEPTOES YARD • January 7, 2010 9:14 PM GMT
stub-ist
Report annie. • January 7, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
It is no surprise that out of only three that replied to this thread titled 'FEMALE COMPASSION' two were women. I think this proves that men are not interested in female emotions, just female bodies :p
Report HRH The Lager Khan • January 7, 2010 9:48 PM GMT
An outrageous slight on my character Madam!
Report brendanuk1 • January 7, 2010 9:49 PM GMT
is this tale true?
Report rustyboy • January 7, 2010 9:50 PM GMT
7/10
Report Gallivanter • January 7, 2010 9:50 PM GMT
It's no surprise that the females laughed.
Report Tevez is God • January 7, 2010 9:51 PM GMT
it was me rusty :(
Report Max and Paddy • January 7, 2010 9:51 PM GMT
Not at all, love. It's just that hordes of men are currently staring at the topic and shaking their heads.

FEMALE COMPASSION is like GREAT ITALIAN MILITARY HEROES or NICE SOUTH AFRICANS. It is a concept that simply does not exist.
Report STUDYFORM • January 7, 2010 9:51 PM GMT
5/10 :)
Report annie. • January 7, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
You are excused, your highness. You are one of the few men on here that actually gives a toss about a woman's mind. Plus you opened the thread!!
Report rustyboy • January 7, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
:(
Report Gallivanter • January 7, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
11/10 for M&P
Report rustyboy • January 7, 2010 9:52 PM GMT
garibaldi and ernie els.

next.
Report a bitofinterest • January 7, 2010 9:53 PM GMT
hard but fair buttock spanking is the solution
Report Gallivanter • January 7, 2010 9:53 PM GMT
Garibaldi is taking the biscuit.
Report annie. • January 7, 2010 9:54 PM GMT
Max and Paddy 07 Jan 22:51
Not at all, love. It's just that hordes of men are currently staring at the topic and shaking their heads.

FEMALE COMPASSION is like GREAT ITALIAN MILITARY HEROES or NICE SOUTH AFRICANS. It is a concept that simply does not exist.



You have proved, once again, why you are single. You do not understand women at all.
Report mitchell downie • January 7, 2010 9:54 PM GMT
Blimey Tev, not heard that for years. I remember it as a woman in a wheelchair sat by the river bank. Similar conversation takes place but the man hurls the wheelchair into the river.

I used to tell it a lot, but wouldn't now.
Report HRH The Lager Khan • January 7, 2010 9:55 PM GMT
Thanks annie, and thanks again for your post yesterday afternoon -I spent this morning printing a copy off and then I thought it best to laminate it too.
Report big-game-player • January 7, 2010 9:57 PM GMT
will you two get a room ffsnice generalisation on the men in here annie given you dont know a jot about me :)
Report annie. • January 7, 2010 9:59 PM GMT
:) :) :)

Your highness, if you ever leave this forum for another, please PLEASE tell me where you are going. I would miss the laughter dreadfully.
Report HRH The Lager Khan • January 7, 2010 10:01 PM GMT
I'm currently in your shed on the laptop with wireless broadband and it's facking freezing.
Report annie. • January 7, 2010 10:01 PM GMT
sorry, bgp, I will try not to tar all men with the same brush.
Report Easter 1916 • January 7, 2010 10:02 PM GMT
5/10. a lot of the men were locking horns on the quiz when this was first posted, hence many of us not seeing it.
Report Max and Paddy • January 7, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
I am single for several reasons - and one of them isn't for the want of trying! But I have seen enough mates get turned over one way or another by bints to make me very happy that I'm single.

Incidentally, I am well aware that blokes can be twáts to girls as well. But we're not discussing that here.
Report Big Charlie • January 7, 2010 10:09 PM GMT
That joke is older than cannyman and cannnyman.
Report Gallivanter • January 7, 2010 10:10 PM GMT
Max, most of them aren't worth a light. We all know it but when we're young we're not thinking. I landed lucky, very lucky, after quite a few false starts. Just because I got a good un doesn't mean everyone does. From what I see, there are even less decent sorts now than 40 years back. There aren't enough to go round, that's for sure. I'm glad I'm not a young man in these days. I never was one for buying second hand.
Report big-game-player • January 7, 2010 10:18 PM GMT
yeah cheers annie cos im sure that for the most part not all real or chat chat or real women are sl4gs :)
Report Max and Paddy • January 7, 2010 10:21 PM GMT
As a mate of mine said recently:

"In time, you will learn that it's the guy who doesn't get the girl who wins the biggest prize."

:)
Report big-game-player • January 7, 2010 11:22 PM GMT
so he is ugly then? and won the lottery the day after :)
Report what do i do now? • January 8, 2010 9:22 AM GMT
a joke i was told over christmas rather sums up many male opinions of this freds title.

why did god create wimmin?

to carry 5perm from the bedroom to the toilet.

when a woman shows compassion, there is nearly always an ullterior motive.
Report what do i do now? • January 8, 2010 9:22 AM GMT
a joke i was told over christmas rather sums up many male opinions of this freds title.

why did god create wimmin?

to carry 5perm from the bedroom to the toilet.

when a woman shows compassion, there is nearly always an ullterior motive.
Report HRH The Lager Khan • January 8, 2010 9:28 AM GMT
So the consensus is;

Men only show compassion to women to get in their pants.

Women only show compassion to men to get in their wallets.

What a great meeting of minds this place is! I love a good stereotypical joke, but either this place is full of really good poker players or a fair few actually believe the above to be true.

The comment about tarring every member of the opposite sex with the same brush after a bad relationship or two is very apt.
Report CUPRA • January 8, 2010 9:29 AM GMT
Talking of which, where is Ericster?
Report Capt__F • January 8, 2010 9:31 AM GMT
8 here for Tevez
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