why aren't there all you can eat takeaways?

all you can stuff in a Ford Transit...like it

I prefer the concept of all you can eat lesbians.

probably because fast lard arse types would order a weeks worth of food

well the driver could sit in the corner monitoring

or have a webcam set up

We have a chinese restaurant that does help yourself stuff your face style menu with a hot buffet .They give you a large polystyrine container and you cram in as much as you can for @£8.It comes out like a dogs dinner though!

i need to binge eat for a bit

dropped to under nearly 10 stone in the last month or so

As a means of getting extra food for your money, nobody will ever top Alan Partridge sneaking his extra large plate in to the breakfast buffet.

canaryboy: bully for you.

Alan:??????? You?re always going on about Benjamin Netinyahu. Let it go, Lynn, you?re never going to meet him. Right, I?m gonna get a spot of breakfast. Oh, quick tip, Lynn. You know the breakfast buffet? Eat as much as you like, but from an eight-inch plate? See that? [Opens up his bag and partially reveals a dinner plate] Twelve inches. Keep it in my room! See you later.



[Lynn leaves. Alan heads for the restaurant, and meets Michael, the handyman]



Michael:? [In impenetrable geordie] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! Morning! Valentine?s Day today, eh? Love is in the air!



Alan:??????? [As if translating] It?s Valentine?s Day today, and love is in the air?



Michael:? Aye! Aye!



Alan:??????? Oh! I?m getting the hang of this! Mind you, I have been here ten weeks.



[Michael leads Alan over to his table]



Michael:? So, are you having the full English breakfast?



Alan:??????? Yes, please. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? So that they can only be identified by reference to their dental records.



[Alan sits down.]



Michael:? OK. Either that or their fingerprints, eh?



Alan:??????? Can you fingerprint a sausage?



Michael:? Yeah, well, I suppose technically you could, aye.



Alan:??????? I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Probably survive a couple of break-ins before they started to fall apart.



Michael:? Aye. Maybe just have, like, a beefburger for your palm, you know?



Alan:??????? No I think that?s a bit too far-fetched. I really do enjoy these chats in the morning.



Michael:? Oh aye.

Canaryboy it sounds like you would make a good jockey with such a low weight ;-)

:D Good work cb

i'm 6ft 2

6ft 2 and 10 stone? Are you Peter Crouch?

canaryboy 07 Jan 17:05


i need to binge eat for a bit

dropped to under nearly 10 stone in the last month or so

(thinly veiled aids victim)

no i'm canaryboy

been working a lot the last month and haven't had the time to eat as much as i'd like

Sounds as if you need a worming mate 6ft 2 and under 10 stone. Sounds as if a stiff breeze would knock you over.

not quite under 10 stone

pound for pound i'm an absolute beast

You really do sound like canaryboy - a low budget super hero with the head of a boy but the body of a canary. Watch in awe as he saves the planet and eats seeds.

would make for a great hollywood movie

Who would play you and your arch enemy, Big Charlie?

I'm thinking of casting Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys and Pat Roach from Auf Wiedersein Pet, er except he's dead.

annie would have to feature too

then i beat her in an epic duel

played by susannah reid off breakfast

susannah reid dresses like an old granny though :-(

Then I need to rewrite the script to include more nude scenes and token lesbianism, nothing to do with annie - this is for you and Big Charlie.

lol

All plot lines lead to the final scene showdown where Big Charlie tries to suck canaryboy out of his cage with a giant Henry vacuum cleaner.