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A Senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car salesroom.
Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100; enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nut case as he floored it to 120, then 140, then 160. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW and was surprised to see such a respectable looking old man behind the wheel. He thought for a second, then looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.
Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.
If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied,
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman
Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100; enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nut case as he floored it to 120, then 140, then 160. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW and was surprised to see such a respectable looking old man behind the wheel. He thought for a second, then looked at his watch and said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes.
Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend.
If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied,
"Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman
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Policeman loses his comedy card imho, there it was tee'd up for him and he gave it away.
My son was stuck on his new Nintendo DS golf game so I turned to the internet for help, but you try googling "Tiger Woods **s".
During a recent office security password audit, it was discovered that blonde secretary Dawn was using the following password:
MickeyMinniePlutoGoofyDonaldHueyDueyLouieParis
When Dawn was asked why she had such a long password she answered:
''Er Hello! When I took the job I was told company policy was that my password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital''
MickeyMinniePlutoGoofyDonaldHueyDueyLouieParis
When Dawn was asked why she had such a long password she answered:
''Er Hello! When I took the job I was told company policy was that my password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital''
Why, when your wife/girlfriend is pregnant, do all her female friends come round and rub and kiss her bump and say "Congratulations!", but none of them ever rub and kiss your c0ck and say "Well done!"?
I just got fired following the office christmas meal at the all you can eat Chinese. Apparently I badly misinterpreted what my georgeous female boss meant when she said she "Would eat me under the table."
i went into a chinese and saw my (smoker) mate sitting at a table with a huge pile of rice in front of him.He looked a little unhappy.
Hi I said - whats up?
Dunno , he replied- i only came in for 20 no. 6
Oi !
Hi I said - whats up?
Dunno , he replied- i only came in for 20 no. 6
Oi !
A new study shows that women with big breasts are smarter than women with smaller breasts.
Though to be fair, the guy who conducted the study admits he wasnt really listening.
Though to be fair, the guy who conducted the study admits he wasnt really listening.
A slow moving fairy knocked at the door of Santas house at 5-30 a.m.
'I know you been up all night and just got to bed' said the fairy, but I've got this xmas tree left over. What shall I do with it.'
So Santa told her...
And that's the reason the fairy is on top of the xmas tree.
'I know you been up all night and just got to bed' said the fairy, but I've got this xmas tree left over. What shall I do with it.'
So Santa told her...
And that's the reason the fairy is on top of the xmas tree.
I bumped into a man crying uncontrollably outside a department store in Liverpool yesterday, and all he could go on about was how he hates this time of year, dressing up in a ridiculous red outfit and embarrassing himself in front of thousands of people.
I said, "Look, Mr.Gerrard, you chose to play for Liverpool."
I said, "Look, Mr.Gerrard, you chose to play for Liverpool."
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