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Roger The Butler
07 Dec 09 15:38
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Date Joined: 20 Aug 02
| Topic/replies: 3,511 | Blogger: Roger The Butler's blog
Before you ask it was outgoing, not incoming, debris that did the damage. Felt like the offending turd was covered in razor blades at the time and much pain was felt afterwards.

Have dumped out two inoffensively sized turds today that my jerry would normally sneer at but the pain now is shocking. Feels like I've been passed around the shower block of an African prison.

Will I ever be the same again?

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Replies: 30
By:
Early Morning Riser
When: 07 Dec 09 15:40
anal fissure 1.01
By:
Roger The Butler
When: 07 Dec 09 15:41
Tell me more, but not too graphic. Remedies too.
By:
dk1986
When: 07 Dec 09 15:42
Sounds like you had three Rustlers in one sitting, then held them in till they turned almost solid. A lamentable course of action.
By:
Roger The Butler
When: 07 Dec 09 15:42
Incidentally, I had smoked haddock on Friday night so you could be right.
By:
Early Morning Riser
When: 07 Dec 09 15:43
just stop bending down for your boyfriend for a few weeks and it should heal by itself
By:
Roger The Butler
When: 07 Dec 09 15:43
That was to Early Morning Riser, not dk.
By:
travelling_man..
When: 07 Dec 09 15:44
Prolapsed (NAP)
By:
Roger The Butler
When: 07 Dec 09 15:45
Could this particularly stubborn turd have caused a pile to pop out? If so could someone take a look just to confirm the diagnosis?
By:
Early Morning Riser
When: 07 Dec 09 15:46
your turds have been compressed by all that ass pumping you had over the weekend 1.01
By:
travelling_man..
When: 07 Dec 09 15:46
http://www.mgm.ufl.edu/~gulig/mmid/bugs/images/d7242.jpg
By:
Early Morning Riser
When: 07 Dec 09 15:47
Roger The Butler 07 Dec 16:45
Could this particularly stubborn turd have caused a pile to pop out? If so could someone take a look just to confirm the diagnosis?


get your boyfriend to stick his finger up and see if he can feel it.
By:
Desmond Orchard
When: 07 Dec 09 15:47
I badly injured my back many years ago and spent months in traction. Once went 10 days without curling one, despite any number of attempts to get things moving. When it did finally happen, it was like passing a breezeblock covered in broken glass initially, before descending through all the scales of turd known to man, until it was McDonalds Milkshake in consistency. It took over an hour in total and was the classic 4 flusher and the pan had more blood in it than was left in my body.

Good news is, I recovered, you'll be fine.
By:
Roger The Butler
When: 07 Dec 09 15:48
My sphincter is a one way street. I don't even let bicycles up it the wrong way.

And I'm definitely not going to look at whatever that pic is.
By:
SNOOCH
When: 07 Dec 09 15:49
Roger if that is really you, you need to see a good doctor.
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:00
lets cheer him up with some good music:


1. 'slip sliding away....'
By:
SNOOCH
When: 07 Dec 09 16:00
2 - Ring of Fire
By:
Zola's Back Heel
When: 07 Dec 09 16:01
I nearly "a Challenger" yesterday. I'm still too emotional right now to go into details. Suffice to say I had a coughinh fit at the wrong moment.
By:
Zola's Back Heel
When: 07 Dec 09 16:02
*I nearly did
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:02
2. i always feel that at times like those singing a good rousing chorus of 'the battle hymn of the republic' helps- the unusual range of notes which you will attain during outage will help to distract you
By:
SNOOCH
When: 07 Dec 09 16:04
don't force one out, just sit there and nature will take over. It is called sitting pretty.
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:05
get personal - try naming it:

Ruby's an appropriate name - a la

''Ruby - dont take your love to town'' as you ease her out

this should facilitate useful contractions....
By:
SNOOCH
When: 07 Dec 09 16:08
I always think of mine as a him
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:08
Take it to the limit one more time
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:08
Sultans Of Swing
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:09
Swing low sweet Chariots
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:10
One day at a time , SWEET JESUS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:11
or recite a bit of poetry, perhaps?


'parting is such sweet sorrow'
By:
lmfao
When: 07 Dec 09 16:13
you chose a fine time to leave me lucille
By:
Zola's Back Heel
When: 07 Dec 09 16:16
loose-stool
By:
History Maker
When: 07 Dec 09 16:17
Put some Deep Heat on it. Should do the trick.
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