** A Tremendous Earvening. **

Theobald Blenkinsop rubbed his inner ear with David's outer ear. Colin's earlobe immediately arrived, sirens blaring, cotton wool buds at the ready. Yes, that's right - cotton wool buds at the ready!! Maud Chearsecake's left nostril and right ear were also in attendance, as were Sir Terry Nappy's inner & outer ear & earlobe combo, and Lord Meargaret Pencil's crusty ear behind. Finally, Ceardric McBunion's right / left earhole arrived accompanied by his favourite earwig, whom he affectionately called Brian The Idiot.

'Ear We Go' was playing on the jukebox, with a tribute to inner & outer ears being read out by Jeffrey E.R Lobe, founder of the decorated earlobe and first man to circumnavigate his own ear using just a bag of toast and a pickled onion. 'Are You Earing Things' and other poetry was read out by local children, whilst pints of eer were £1.98+ an earwax donation. Famous pornstar **ear' was also providing adult enteartainment inside a large ear trumpet.

It was a tremendous earvening for everyone involved.

I'd like to thank earveryone for your support and donations, from the bottom of my inner ear.