Got Step Dad's funeral on Tuesday

Mainly just celebrate his life, too much is made about being sad at a death.

Be positive imo.

I tried it at my Dads funeral and couldn't get a word out.

I keep listening to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxAAspHOfF4

So sad

dont do that mr C

no good, best not to think just plan imo.

Best of luck mate.

I'd agree with Ibra, focus on a few aspects of his character that he should be remembered by. Don't go on too long though.

Also, plan out properly what you are going to say and if you aren't used to speaking infront of people run through it a few times, maybe infront of a friend. Just to help with you delivering it smoothly on the day.

Was thinking something along the lines of:

"Howard was one of life's great characters, loved by so many. You couldn't walk through the town without eight or nine people stopping to chat to him. He was a massive part of Mum's life for 20 years and without him, I don't think she'd be here today. He stuck by her through thick and thin and loved her to bits. He treated me and my two younger brothers like his own and we couldn't have hoped for a better role model. He loved his football and especially Newcastle United. He hated my team Manchester United, but knew I love them and respected that. Looking back now I wish Newcastle had won the title in 95-96, it would have made him so happy. I know he wouldn't want us to be sad on this day, he always told me life is too short to be unhappy, so let's celebrate his life today and say goodbye to a great friend."

Nice one Clarky

very good clarkey.

Maybe 'I would have LOVED it' instead of 'I wish'?

That's very good, Clarky.
Go with it.

Very moving mate.Agree with the suggestion of i would have LOVED IT if Newcy had won the league.Should deffo raise a smile.Good Luck.

All the best. :D

Thats a nice piece you have written,he sounded like a wonderful man.Now i`m a bit older i tend to refer to my mother as my mother instead of calling her my mum when i`m addressing somebody else.just a thought.i wish you all the best .Sorry to hear of your loss .All the best

clarky, whatever you say your beloved stepdad will love you whatever, i feel for you so much m8, the main thing is the love will never die, i lost my beloved mum, i know oneday i will give her hug and tell her i love her so much. take care m8.

GR8 M8

:( my mum is always in my thoughts, i can't explain how much i miss her, it breaks my heart. :(

sorry,wrong thread

My heart goes out to you Larrence i`m so sorry to hear about your loss,it can`t be easy :-(

wd clarky, great that you are planning to say a few words

maybe instead of saying "I don't think she'd be here today" about your mum, change it into more of a positive statemnent ie "he gave so much strength to my mum to help her through the difficult times" or something of that ilk.. just a thought, Pete

Got a funeral tomorrow, mate of 44, not looking forward to it, gl Clarky.

no-one exactly looks forward to a funeral

my dads is on friday.

Spoke at my Dad-in-law's a couple of months back. I did a brief history of his life. Many, many people there had no idea of his youth, WW2, early careers and so - 'they' said they enjoyed it as they knew little or nothing of his 8 decades.

BAMBOO thankyou for kind words m8, but she was taken from me when i was just 4, i am 39 now, but not a day doesn't go by and i think about her, oneday i do hope i can tell her i love her :x

Wedontneednostinkinbadges 15 Nov 13:25


my dads is on friday.

chin up lads, lost a great friend yesterday ..

Clarkey................so good that you want to say such positive things. Hope ypu and your family get through the day. Just a thought, try to always remember the good times.

yeah so sorry to hear casemoney, about your good friend's loss (life is so cruel!!). But try to stay strong m8, your friend would want it that way. Take care and sorry to hear anyone else on this thread who have lost someone. good luck all......

Wedontneednostinkinbadges 15 Nov 13:25


my dads is on friday.

Been there mate...................be strong !!!!!!

Got some flowers spelt out in his name in black and white.

Think he would have liked it.

clarky, i lost me mam a year ago. i ike to listen to this song and think of her. I hope tuesday is the best it can be for you, take care
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBjXWm_n4Ak

Good luck Clarky.

Went to my close nans grave today, she passed away 20th Aug this year.
Was a berra at her funeral along with 2 brothers, cousin, dad & uncle, Very proud moment :)

Clarky, dont do it
it will be emotional enough withought you having to go through that

Brilliant speach and very personal. A great tribute to an evidently lovely man.

great words clarky,he would have been proud of you

Be generous. Say nothing at all (realistically) negative. They say we should not speak ill of the dead - but the dead were often lacking. Give them a fair hearing, whatever. But this was not the case with you. Sorry. Future generations, and all that. Mother - is that you?

also clarky ask your mum how she feels about you doing it
dont for one minute think you have to do anything you are not comfy with, the day will be bad enough, or the service will.

Found out today that the flowers I ordered are 5 1/2 ft long!!!

Big day tomorrow. I hope it all goes well.

I'll spare you and your family a warm thought tomorrow Clarky. Hope it all goes well. Celebrate his life!!

I hope it goes well and feel for you. Practice saying your remarks beforehand and you won't find it so hard. Speak to the people at the back when you talking.

Good luck Clark9 - some nice people here :)

Hi clarky, Our thoughts will be with you tommorrow m8, i am sure it will all be fine (even though terribly sad, for you and your family!!). Stay strong m8 as he would want you to.

all the best clarky, be strong.

Thanks guys.

Will let you know how it went tomorrow night

take care m8.

A few years ago, we lost the first one of "our circle" to cancer. He had been battling for years and lived on his own till just four days before the tumour in his head took over.

It was the first time since I moved from Canada that I truly felt a million miles from my friends. I called in a favour and got a seat on BA and headed back.

For his family, it was a trip to Montreal from out west as well and we gathered at the pub in Westmount he had been going to for ten years. The speeches started. One by one they said how "life would not be the same without him". After the third or fourth speech that carried the same message, I found myself sensing Jamie would find this all too serious for his liking.

I wasn't supposed to speak but went up when I found a chance. The room was so heavy and I felt a bit for his parents. They had accepted their son was going to die before them. His friends, though, who had been with him through the rough years, had not.

It doesn't matter what I said. But what I did was reached back through the years and found four or five adventures that made us laugh. Seriously laugh. Not embarrasing him or anyone. Just moments that were legendary. His mother and father were howling as I recounted something from our teen years that at the time got us both grounded for four weeks, his father now seeing the funny side of their family mercedes floating down the Ottawa River after a series of quick events that were of Ferris Bueller proportions as the "untold story" came out.

And I also announced to everyone that on my last visit to James I had found a box in his flat by the door with around 200 unopened envelopes from the City of Montreal. His car had an Ontario license plate which makes conviction on fines difficult. He had racked up over $6,000 in fines over two years parking wherever he wanted, when he wanted! :D

When I finished and returned to the bar, my friend Alaster said "thanks, it was getting pretty depressing in here." And the rest of the evening, a sombre event was full of circles sharing tales with each other.

It is always hard when we lose someone. They are part of the fabric of our life. I still miss Jamie. His 50th birthday will be this year. But with death as it is with life, it's important to find that moment to make everyone laugh. It will be the domino that clicks happy memories for everyone and will make a cloudy day seem sunny.

Some nice posts on here, and some very moving ones. Surprising how decent most people actually are, especially when you look at some of the threads on this place.

GL tomorrow, that looks a good speech.

larrence,

I feel for you. Reminds me of my dear old dad who never knew his dad, as he was killed when my dad was a baby.
When my dad was dying with cancer one of his brothers told him how thrilled to bits has dad was when he was born. When my dad told me that his brother had told him that a huge smile lit up his pained face. Still chokes me up thinking about it.

Hopefully you still have some memories of your mum and how much she loved (and hopefully still does) you.

Definately plenty of good folk on here, and if we can give each other a lift when needed, that is what life should be about and as i said previous our thoughts will be with you clarky m8.

SonofDunc 16 Nov 23:02


larrence,

I feel for you. Reminds me of my dear old dad who never knew his dad, as he was killed when my dad was a baby.
When my dad was dying with cancer one of his brothers told him how thrilled to bits has dad was when he was born. When my dad told me that his brother had told him that a huge smile lit up his pained face. Still chokes me up thinking about it.

Hopefully you still have some memories of your mum and how much she loved (and hopefully still does) you.

Thankyou for kind words and sorry to hear about your dad's loss.
Sadly i was only 4 when my mum died, she went in hospital with an asthma attack and never came out again, found cancer.
So sadly i never knew her m8, it so breaks my heart thinking about it, but i have the belief, there is life after death and i will have a reunion oneday, give her a kiss, tell her how much i have missed her and love her, and we will never lose each other again, promise me mum i would say.
Good luck to you in your life......

gl sir. Dont know you from Adam but i wish you well with this difficult task and in this difficult time..

gl sir. Dont know you from Adam but i wish you well with this difficult task and in this difficult time..

Hope all went as well as it could clarky, even knowing how difficult it was for you and your family m8.

whata thread inspiring stuff.

very nice stuff larrence, hope it went ok clarky9

Thought I was going to be OK when we arrived, but then my Mum was in floods of tears as we were following the coffin in and I broke down.

My two younger brothers and I went up and said a few words which went down quite well. My Uncle who was over from Ireland gave me some money towards the funeral, as I had agreed to pay for the whole funeral.

We then went back to Howard's favourite pub for a few drinks.

clarky, you are a good man, your step dad would have been proud of you, no shame about the tears m8, we have all been there. God bless your step dad and gl to you m8 and family.....

Nice words Larrence ;)

Wd Clarkey mate.. Good luck now and for the future

Clarkey: Well done mate but dont forget your mum, she will need lots of help and support.

Good luck pal.