How do you 'beat' life?

Flushing whilst halfway through a piiss. Although this is guaranteed to open the taps on the reserve tank meaning I'll end up leaving Mrs Masters an acrid puddle of splashback every time.

The same trick should not be attempted during a number 2.

Why not? If done right, it can clean you out nicely, thus reducing the need for toilet paper.

I do a jobbie before taking my trousers down to save time.

log out when logging out

When making toast:

Put bread in toaster - you now have 2 minutes.

Fill kettle up & boil. Will be boiled just before toast is ready. Fetch butter, milk & toast topping from fridge / cupboard, open butter.

Get plate & mug from cupboard ready, get exact amount of butter ready on knife.

Put coffee in mug, pour just-boiled water into mug & add milk.

Toast will now immediately pop up. Butter quickly, spread whatever on it, and eat whilst HOT!

Whilst eating toast, put everything back to save even more time.

Sit back and smell the coffee... ;)

oh I forgot to add you have time for a PIDDLE midway through all this as well. :D

why not buy a robot and lie in bed all day.

Mavis, I'd be lying if I said didn't have my own time-saving methods around the kitchen. Yours is the kind of efficiency I like to think is being exacted all across the globe. :)

I just set fire to my money rather than betting on here.

:^0

I work like this too. Maybe made worse by doing "Time & Motion" studies at college many years ago and I never shook it off.

This year we had a go at camping. After two goes I can put up a 4 man tent, 2 airbeds, 2 air chairs, sleeping bags and cooker in less than 12 minutes. Trouble is I will probably never do it again, not really my thing. I did however enjoy watching other people spend an hour or so faffing around doing the same thing.

dk do you also underpay punters on their winning bets, knowing they'll lose it all back anyway, saves time counting out all those pesky notes?

If you naturally think like this you would do well to have a think about a career in project planning. A few quid on a Primavera course, (construction and engineering) or Prince2, (IT and public sector) and when the markets pick up your looking at £25/hr to start and £50-£60 per hour with good experience.

Haha blue piggy, if that was the case the shop needn't be opened. I'd just leave a sign on the door saying "Please deposit your average daily losses into a coin bag, then post through box. Thanks." ;)

Thanks for that post Jim.

I read a good book about this a few years ago called FASTER by James Gleik. It is lighthearted but looks at it form both sides. Did you know that on average we save 4 mins per day using a microwave and spend less than that time filling in important forms. It highlights the point that we are obsessed with saving time, and yet all we do is clutter our lives with other things that take more time up.

No probs DK.

Mavis do u stick toastie soldiers up ur jacks ?

.

:(

all this extra free time and all you do with it is post time saving threads on chit chat dear god!!

:)

:D

I love the banter on here!

How do you 'beat' life?

Try and avoid whisk-taking!

I think you and Mavis would make a good couple

Even having a flat-mate arrangement could work. I'd throw the toast behind me which he'd catch to butter, then he'd throw the teabags behind him and into the mugs just as I'm pouring the water. Would work like that. ;)

Actually it wouldn't because the mugs would be beside the teabags and the butter beside the toaster and plates. Still, it was a nice thought.

:^0

I wasn't going to , but I guess I'll have to post a couple more of my life-beating skillz later...

Please do, I'm on the edge of my seat... while waiting for the kettle to boil to half-fill tomorrow's pot noodle ;)

- always fill up your tank when getting petrol (unless you have a realistic chance of not being able to drive at all, why wouldnt you?)

I always do.. can't understand how anyone would run out of petrol

- get out £1-200 cash at ATM's every time, if I got mugged would be more of an issue losing my nice wallet & cards etc. & all the hassle
- always get a larger amount of cash if have to use 'fee machines' why get £10 out when paying £1.50, just get £100 out at least if no other choice

pi55 in the sink while brushing your teeth

The full tank petrol thing is a given. Costs me £30 every 15 or so days. :)

I put in the full £50 and often dont top up until gets near the red, I dont enjoy filling up on petrol every couple of days and queuing etc. like other people seem to do - putting in a tenner or twenty each time? just another 'drone ant' if you do stuff like that...

11:10....close position on 11:11 dogs
walk to kitchen while race is on, pre-cut bagel, leave in toaster, pull out milk and cream cheese (smoke salmon if I have any), get knife, put tea bag in cup, hit kettle return to desk.

Curse/cheer outcome

11:13 to 11:18 work the race.
11:19 walk to kitchen, hit toaster, put water in cup, get milk out of fridge
11:20 bagel up, apply creamcheese
11:21 remove tea bag, apply milk
return to desk

Curse/cheer outcome

11:34 return to kitchen, put away milk and cream cheese
return to desk

Please send help

I know a chap who puts the minimum amount of fuel in his car every time. He does this in case his car is stolen, so the theives won't get very far!

MU Dave :-)

Usually a £5 or 5-litre minimum isn't it? Could take it far enough I'd have thought. Not on Police Camera Action though, obviously.

I do the PC thing before cleaning teeth, then porridge on as take ages to cook/cool down, then shave/shower, turn off porridge & (importantly) put in bowl (as will go hard if left inpan to cool for longer than 2 mins) so has 5 or so mins to cool down while get dressed/make myself look pretty, then its ready to eat by my PC

dk1986 - always buy cinema tickets online - the extra 50p or so is worth it to 1) get decent aisle seats in middle 2) check/book tickets without waste of time if booked out 3) and just pick em up from machine outside with no queue at all usually ;-) (this is a 2-3 times a month cinemagoer talking here)

I floss my teeth while having a shoite

(oh...and obviously only arrive about 5 mins after start time to prevent having to sit through 17 adverts you have seen so many times it is painful - films normally start 15-20 mins after 'start time' fyi)

Partridge - you seem well accustomed to beating life. I will look forward to taking leaves out of your book in the future. :)

Fwiw I like having a walk up town on my days off, so popping in to buy them isn't going out of my way, if you will. Will definitely think about buying online though.

ps: I also do not work 9-5 so no traffic/stress etc. as see that as such a waste of life

SHAPESHIFTER


Please send help.....lol

Re "beating" life - It can't be done:

"All life is 6/5 against" - Damon Runyon.