Im going to a dinner party hoster by two L esbians tonight.

Oh come on; pie jokes, fingers in dykes etc. Your wife is being unreasonable. I'm not suggesting a **phobic tirade, but a little levity at least.

My gay friends are very funny and would be horrified if a dinner guest sat there in terrified silence.

Take a video camera dor the action later.

Best to be open and crude about it imo

1.01 fish fingers to be served

Are they butch/femme? or butch/butch?

If you have seafood , dont ask for a finger bowl

Take a furry cup

be gutted if they dont ask you for a threesome ;\

surely his wife can make her own mind up

You could always steer the conversation around to Prisoner Cell Block H.

Kev , one is a hippo and one is a skinny cropped haired dyke that could pass as a dyke

The mention of a 3some has made me quite sick.. you would need a shovel to reach the big ones fufu

But by all accounts they are great drinkers.. therfore danger is getting bladdered and being unable to resit the Bille Jean King "strapadichtomy" joke from years gone by

RR - you should be yourself!

if cheese and biscuits come out try the -
"What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker."

is Rugoo on the menu

Was in the same poition (ahem) once. Ended up buying a bed off them by the end of the night.

At least it was clean.

Melon Fan(ny)
Roast Beaver
Flapjacks

nothing better than all gathering around the fire and munching away on their carpet

Just don't get into this state. Harry Enfield sketch when the gay son brings his boyfriend home for Xmas.

Boyfriend "Can I have a mince pie?"

Father "Sure, I'll get out of your way"

Boyfriend "What?"

Father "I thought you wanted to mince by"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pC5rpJgCUQ0&feature=related

I've never been to Lesbos.

This joke always goes down well with my lesbian mates.

Martina Navratilova visits her gynaecologist for a check-up.

As she gets dressed, she asks him how everything looked down there.

"Magnificent, Martina, quite magnificent" he enthused.

"Oh come on, there must be something not quite as magnificent as it should be" she asked

"No Martina, you are just perfect. I can only ask you,
'how do you keep everything so clean and tidy?' "

"Well, it's not all down to me, I have a woman in twice a week".

a lesbian is describing how she feels -she said as soon as i wake up i think about women ,when i am at work all i think about is women ,when i get home all i think about is women,
feck me for 49 years i thought i was straight ive just realised im a lesbian!

^ better punctuation would have helped that one...

Also like -

Q. What do you call an opened can of tuna in a lesb1an's flat?
A. Pot Pourri.

Ham on Ham (menu NAP) BON APPETIT

If you are pleased by the meal, offer to straighten them out.
If the meal displeases, subject them to a gayyist rant.

with that username just try not to come between them .

regvarney 14 Nov 13:17
luddite, 12.07.....i have posted that joke on here several times.....
....at least have the good grace to put me in the credits

Sandy Toksvig told me it on The News Quiz the other night

Sultans jokes are in the memory bank for later.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

"See you then - same time next month."

Think I will text to missus when she is sitting opposite me during the dinner those beauties

lol Rabbit - that's a must.

will report on progress tomorrow

Just got a text from Rampant. He says "Car keys have just gone in the bowl" :0

Q: How can you tell if two lesbians are twins?

They will not eat their brussels

Update imminent I would hope.

can't wait ;-)

I survived..

who would like to see what they look like?

if its 2 lezzas, they'll be fatties, i spoke to a couple in dundee, absolute shockers, they were also on benefits

I saw two walking along holding hands yesterday, I would have

google Ann-marie mcaleese.. BBC

that was one.

seen worse

irish munter

Her mate is much worse

perhaps we dont need to see her mate then

I don't suppose they used to run a pub on the suffolk/essex border about 6 years ago?

That had a hippo of a chef, and her cropped haired partner (who wasn't bad tbf) running it.

na Study. Ones a radio presenter and otherone a trainer of chefs..

last night ok, just tried hard to put it out of mind .. was almost going to detour from bog to their bedroom and see what tools they had in their top cupboard, but bottled it..

what happened to the car keys in the bowl?

I went to a Lesbian couple dinner party a few years ago with the wife. Turned up drunk and annouced that like the hosts I had a nut allergy.

Punter.. google Paula Mcintyre and click on images. she if the first one..

Keys in bowl didnt appeal as you will appreciate

now that is a munter, no wunner she's a lezza

on that note, check the bird on 2nd row, 2nd column, very do-able!

do you live near offas dyke?