pointless things that bother you but nobody else

The wife grinding her teeth in her sleep.

Does she still do it ?

Told me she was going to stop.

When fastext is slow, drives me feckin mental

some accents

my colleague eating a sandwich with a bottle of OJ. a hippopotamus probably makes less chewing and slurping noises.

Dishes in the sink

Inappropriate Erections, buses etc.

toilet seats that don't stay up, so you have to adopt an awkward**over stance with dick in one hand and toilet seat in the other

People who press the button on a pelican crossing but cross the road before the green man, and are well out the way by the time the traffic stops. One day this will be the final push that sends me on a killing rampage.

^ that is fun

Bands that insist on playing their woeful dirges at full volume even though they're performing in a room the size of an ensuite.

Haven't bothered to read the thread, so there is every chance it's mentioned here somewhere else, although it's such a common, sickeningly life tilting piece of joke behaviour, that most men will presume it certainly does bother everyone else:
Women at cash machines, getting the receipt, mincing around with some tin pot purse, looking at the atm as if it's something NASA created and they need a degree to operate it. Then even having the gaul to count their money before departing from the required space, and glancing back at the machine as if it's unreliable and may have conned them! Absolute half wit **s.

LITTER

My missus went out and bought 'soft close' toilet seats (close slowly, like the Joneses have got).
EXCEPT she never puts the **in lid down anyway, so why bother?
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People who never empty the bin. My missus (again) and also a bloke I used to share a flat with who when he had something too big for the bin (like a pizza box) he'd put it NEXT to the bin. Why? Hoping that I'll dispose of it you lazy**?
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Train announcements that say we are arriving 'into' a station rather than 'at' one. Grrrrrrrrr!
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People who put their wine glasses (still full) on the floor (like my sister when she comes round) and you KNOW someone will knock it over soon. And they do!
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People who marvel at Chinese civilisation as they invented chopsticks. They're sticks! What about the guy who invented the fork, give him some credit ffs!
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People who put in apostrophes when none is required, as in plurals. Halfwits.
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People who sit in the McD's car park at 11am on Sundays with their kids chomping away at ** knows what for their Sunday lunch. Child abuse and it MUST stop!

HRH The Lager Khan 10 Nov 20:20
People who press the button on a pelican crossing but cross the road before the green man, and are well out the way by the time the traffic stops. One day this will be the final push that sends me on a killing rampage.

Oh yes. Especially at 6am when the one car within half a mile has to stop because dick head pressed the button automatically like a trained monkey.

The song 'American Pie'. I absolutely cannot stand this twee, up its own ar*e, "listen-to-me-i'm so meaningful", heap of shi*e. Every time it comes on the radio I have to turn it off immediately. Its not just a case of disliking the song. There's many cr*p songs out there but I can handle them.

The only thing worse is listening to a group of people singing along to it, nodding meaningfully to each other. Spew Central.

"Drove my Chevy to the Levy........." Give me strength.

Weather forecast, ffs!

Get up in the morning, go out and - oh, surprise - it's even rainy, sunny, cloudy etc. Don't have to have a mupped that tells me what it will be like (most of the time gets it wrong anyway).

Add to that all the pointless tactics to start a conversation. "Oooh, hot today, innit?" Glad you spotlight, would not have noticed myself, ffs!!!

When people make speech marks with their fingers, I get the urge to snap them off. Pretentious in the extreme. Anyone doing it in my presence may end up looking like Abu Hamza.

singing along to a classic song such and the good wife changes station... :0

*such as american pie

Yes - she would be a good wife!

Got to agree with HRH above.
And people who say 'methinks', 'anyways' and 'laters' get on my wick.

clifton methinks she is a good wife anways catchya laters dude!

When you're reading a paper and you can tell that the person sat/stood beside you is peering over and reading it too. The worst is when you don't even know the person. Petty? Yes, but it drives me mad!!!

In the office, people who bang on constantly about their kids, usually fat arsed ugly women with no social life or other interests.

If it's Tom Petty, that WOULD be annoying.

When you're sitting next to someone on a train and they are reading the paper and notice you're also reading it so they turn the page. P1sses me right off.

Those f&ckin stainless steel teapots you get in nearly every tea/coffee shope where its impossible to pour without it spilling all over the place...

Haha Joel. As soon as I clock that you're reading it, I'd turn over EVEN if I hadn't finished the part I was reading. That's just how I roll....

people who get on trains/buses before everyone has departed. This isn't France ffs.

people who genuinely say 'simples', don't deserve the fragile gift of life quite frankly.

I will not even try to express the way I feel about anyone who says 'lol' in actual spoken conversation.

I agree bacontrout, I purposely bump into them if I am getting off. Have knocked a few old ladies down though.

I loathe the rubber mats on bars that have replaced beer towels. They just hold the moisture ready for me to stick my elbow in them. Whoever invented them wants to keep well out of my way; I would do my time cheerfully.

uneven paving....fked quite a few stilettos....barstewards!

When you're crossing the road (on foot) at a roundabout and the person turning left does not use their indicator so you walk out in front of them.

Suprised the ' absolutly' brigade have not been mentioned, it realy grips my s hit. Absolutly, absolutly used as a reply after every sentence.

Don't get me started on 'awesome' and 'amazing'.

Michael Winner

Sitting at a junction,waiting for all those cars to pass.
Then the very last one flashes you out X-(
WTF Just get passed you tw@

Leaf blowing machines. Why don't they get a sucker and suck them up rather than just blowing them into big piles that seem to stay there?

CJ 11 Nov 00:30
In the office, people who bang on constantly about their kids, usually fat arsed ugly women with no social life or other interests

especially when they bang on about how intelligent they are

The Daily Mail.

Even as I type I can feel the boilig rage festering from within.

people over 25 who use the word randoms

Seeing someone on the motorway with sat nav screen on at night.
Big fkukk off arrow saying straight on.

Having big plastic bags shoved through my letter box every other day with the words "WE URGENTLY NEED YOUR UNWANTED CLOTHES, PAIRS OF SHOES, HOUSEHOLD LINEN, BOOKS, CDs AND DVDs". I can't fill one of these big fu*kers up in a year let alone 2/3 a week. What do they think I go out and buy clothes everyday and only wear them once and throw them away, FFS.
I leave the empty bags on my doorstep ready to be taken away, but nobody takes them away.
So I end up filling my bin with the things, find all this very annoying

B-)

Hopefully I'm the only one bothered by the fact that a good 80% of the things mentioned so far bother everyone, not just the poster.

The word "peeps" used in a sentence.

Unfaithfulness.

That bothers me too MissP :)

Damn. We're as bad as the rest then Study.

people abbreviating names i.e P = Paul

:0

Men that read papers starting at the front, nine bob notes

people that dont know the difference between lend and borrow

can i lend a tenner off you? grrrrrr

Today i got extremely irritated by a bloke ordering a Latte and a Cappuccino at 4pm in the office coffee shop (i was waiting to order a black coffee), the member of staff had to froth milk and get the chocolate sprinkles and kept me waiting for at least 4 minutes.

I almost felt obliged to tell them that nobody should order Latte or Cappacino's in the afternoon, cause its a drink strictly to be had with breakfast. Bloody imbeciles.

Latte or Cappacinos are a drink not to be had at all in this country

a cup of tea is fine

tomz for tomorrow and soz for sorry make me want to slap someones face between two butter pats extremely violently

People who say "if" when they mean "whether"

People who pronounce the "h" in "Wolverhampton"

People who call Chasetown Chase Town

Child-proof wrappings

how do you pronounce Chasetown then?

With the emphasis on "Chase"

that I do, chasetun, if it was up to me anyway

I'm referring mostly to football commentators who refer to the football club as though they are from somewhere called Chase. Tyldesley did it tonight, but he's far from the only one.

what do commentators know anyway?

they're clueless

While we're on commentators, i hate the way they pronounce latin names as if they're natives yet don't bother when it comes to Scandinavian players.

Mellberg and Lundberg for example. The final 'g' in Sweden is soft and pronounced almost as a 'y'. Either pronounce them as they would in their country of origin or don't bother, don't do half and half.

People who call lunch dinner

cos lunch is dinner

ya "dinner" is actually yer tea

People on the 'phone - ins who start by saying "as I said to your researcher....."

Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!

Bunter

people who get bothered
period

People pointing out things that bother them

Shirts not tucked in makes me SEETH.

who owns all these houses and what lives do they lead

:0

people who phone & say "I'm at the BMW/Mercedes garage" You're at the garage, that's all

Private plates that mean feck all

People who answer the phone with their own number.

"05994 434247"

... NO SH*T ** I JUST F*CKING RANG IT!

Wrong numbers.

A security pen on a ball chain 3 links too short.
Visitors badge pouches with a sprained clip that doesn't clamp on your shirt.
Automatic doors, which despite five signs on the approach that try to convince you all will be well, that they are indeed automatic. Still fail to detect you. Resulting in the dance of the sherbert fountain. Bobbing about in front of any black blob that could be a sensor to make the thing work.

The recorded announcements on London buses and trains that mispronounce station and place names (presumably the intention is to help tourists by pronouncing them according to the spelling).

people standing outside pubs smoking - wimps the lot of you

Speedy, I once ripped one of those pens off its chain in frustration (I'm left-handed and it didn't reach) and the bank's security bod appeared to give me a dressing down.

I was a reasonably good customer of theirs and complained to the manager. A week later, a box of pens (WITH chains!) arrived with a letter of apology. I never knew bank managers had a sense of humour.

men who carry their change in a purse

trains that "go forwards" to the next station

announcements on trains: where it's from, where it's going, next "calling point" (it's not a "calling point" it's a "stop" ffs), confirming the fact that the train will be "going forwards to" the next "calling point" - well i never i thought the train would be going sideways - no mobiles in the quiet carriage, the fact that my £35 saver isn't valid on this train and a new ticket will cost me £350, and there's no buffet as they have staff shortages despite record unemployment 'cos you need a PhD in fluid dynamics to pour tea and then we've just stopped at a "calling point" to pick up some more "customers" so we'll do all the sodding announcements all over a-sodding-gain aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

topkat knackering the thread :|

poorly designed user interfaces

surely a betting exchange's chat facility should be able to accommodate a scream?

Men who can't watch telly without telling you they'd like to** any woman who wanders across the screen.

People in Tescos that have all their packing done from a massive trolley, then get their purse out and fann y about for ten minutes getting their cards out and worst of all find some discount vouchers.. I could stick a knife in their c huff.

they are always women

Grandps.. all the guys in James herriots house always gave their darrabhy number. and it was only 3 digits

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

Clifton..

I feel the same about Frankie by the pointer sisters as do about American Pie..

Having to press enter after entering my PIN: surely the computer should be able to count up to four key-presses.

Teenagers...hangings too good

Classic thread

People who go on and on about the great holiday they just had. wtf is really interested? Sister in law appeared last week to show us all her holiday photos from America that she had transferred on a usb stick and stuck in the telly. Over 600 f****** photos! They don`t have that in the Getty Photo Library ffs.

People who have cash but give you stingy Xmas presents. I spend about 100 quid on a lifelong friend and his wife every year and what do they give us in return? 3 miniature pots of f****** jam every bloody year!

Return the favour, Mac.  Buy 'em a haggis for Burns Night.  Should last a month if kept cool

Cameras and pictures. And people using them to save 'fond memories'. If I have fond memories, i would rather enjoy them in the moment instead of saving them on my camera and wait when i am sad as feck and look at those memories and feel sadder.

People who call Instagram Insta and Facebook Facey.

Standing in a queue at a shop when some smelly, lazy git pulls out his lotto vouchers and asks the person at the till to check if they've won anything. NO, do it yourself you lazy f**ker. It's all I can do to stop myself from grabbing them out of their hand and ramming them down their throat.

I hate watching a TV/News program where a presenter does a "long shot" talking and walking towards the
camera amongst a big crowd of people. I don't know why this bothers me - it just does......

Women in sandals, with the toes creeping out over the edge.

Buy some properly fitting ones you feckers !!!!

Tribute Bands

Tw*ts in Iceland who ask for home delivery,

and then pick there a*se

whilst the poor cashier struggles to fill bag after bag of frozen sh*te.

By then the store is empty, apart from a queue of guys like me trying to buy cheap booze!

Smokers outside Pubs....I wanna Machine Gun the lot of them.