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cows are pathetic dumb animals only existing to produce meat milk and leather.
so i am better than cows at most things. not better at being a renewable source of meat. not better and producing milk. would struggle to eat grass as effectively as a cow.
however,
i am better at changing tv channels.
talking
playing the guitar
selecting the correct radio stations
text messaging
putting on a coat
driving
playing golf (and i've only ever played golf once)
betting
ordering a curry (good chance it might even have cow in it! hahahah you stupid cow mugs!)
so i am better than cows at most things. not better at being a renewable source of meat. not better and producing milk. would struggle to eat grass as effectively as a cow.
however,
i am better at changing tv channels.
talking
playing the guitar
selecting the correct radio stations
text messaging
putting on a coat
driving
playing golf (and i've only ever played golf once)
betting
ordering a curry (good chance it might even have cow in it! hahahah you stupid cow mugs!)
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frasier. first 2 i agree with.
however, cows can't do sudoku, cos they can't hold a pen, cos they have hooves instead of hands.
however, cows can't do sudoku, cos they can't hold a pen, cos they have hooves instead of hands.
i'm better at hiding than a cow is.
how can a cow hide, it's a big stupid idiot, with no spacial awareness. wouldn't know if it was concealed or not. could only hide behind a shed or a building.
i could get away with hiding behind much smaller things and more effectively conceal myself. the cow wouldn't know if it had been spotted or not, it would probably just stand there chewing its jaw and waving it's tail about.
how can a cow hide, it's a big stupid idiot, with no spacial awareness. wouldn't know if it was concealed or not. could only hide behind a shed or a building.
i could get away with hiding behind much smaller things and more effectively conceal myself. the cow wouldn't know if it had been spotted or not, it would probably just stand there chewing its jaw and waving it's tail about.
Why would a cow want to hide?
How would you know which cow you are looking for?
How would you know which cow you are looking for?
A cow could at least match you on the spelling of docile.
you are wrong minjita.
you see, i thought it was dosile, and used that. now you've corrected me, i will remember it is docile.
a cow, the stupid idiot cow, couldn't take on that lesson for the following reasons.
no formal education. they can't even read books intended for babies.
they're stupid.
so you see, a cow wouldn't even get close to spelling docile. i dont even know if you are just saying it's docile instead of dosile to try to trick me, but i think docile looks correct.
a cow just stare at you and smell.
you see, i thought it was dosile, and used that. now you've corrected me, i will remember it is docile.
a cow, the stupid idiot cow, couldn't take on that lesson for the following reasons.
no formal education. they can't even read books intended for babies.
they're stupid.
so you see, a cow wouldn't even get close to spelling docile. i dont even know if you are just saying it's docile instead of dosile to try to trick me, but i think docile looks correct.
a cow just stare at you and smell.
kallisking.
if you knew that a person only looked after you with the intention of killing you for meat, would you not try to hide?
THAT IS WHY COWS ARE STUPID!
if you knew that a person only looked after you with the intention of killing you for meat, would you not try to hide?
THAT IS WHY COWS ARE STUPID!
i'm better at using extension cables to efficiently plug in things via one socket.
a cow would probably overload the extension, therefore causing risk a fire hazard.
stupid stupid cows.
a cow would probably overload the extension, therefore causing risk a fire hazard.
stupid stupid cows.
Also, they do at least give posties something to feel superior to, however misguided.
well what about that religion where cows are sacred!!
HAHA YOU FOOLS!
Cows can't even play subbuteo! i can!
HAHA YOU FOOLS!
Cows can't even play subbuteo! i can!
jackal..sorry to have to tell you but I think cows maybe better than you at growing horns.
Close call on who is the better at constantly wearing the same rancid, stinking balck and white look.
nestor, you have the intelligence of a cow, because the male version of a cow is a bull.
you cow brained deadbeat
you cow brained deadbeat
I suspect that cows would select a better football team to follow than the jackal
live forever, well done on correcting your mistake.
a cow wouldn't have a clue if it had made a mistake. cos it's so stupid and ignorant
a cow wouldn't have a clue if it had made a mistake. cos it's so stupid and ignorant
angoose, are you saying cows are gloryseekers when it comes to following football?
well that doesn't surprise me, cos they're so dumb
well that doesn't surprise me, cos they're so dumb
I have to give the cow the edge in reacting to changes in the weather too. Got to be better to sit down in a sheltered spot a few hours beforee you think it is going to rain than to see it is raining and think it appropriate to remove your top and parade your beer gut around the locality.
Thanks for that jackal. But like your rectification of the spelling of docile, I shall now remember that cows don't have horns and thus prove that I'm also more intelligent than a cow.
LF. nice try.
however, i'm able to use the internet to check 5 day forecasts. i can plan easily if i should be wearing a coat or not. plus i could easily go in a bar or in my house or whatever, if it happens to start raining when i'm outside.
and i've never once felt the urge take my top off just cos it gets cold
however, i'm able to use the internet to check 5 day forecasts. i can plan easily if i should be wearing a coat or not. plus i could easily go in a bar or in my house or whatever, if it happens to start raining when i'm outside.
and i've never once felt the urge take my top off just cos it gets cold
another thing that i can do much better than a cow is fasten buttons. like on shirts, or jeans.
imagine a cow trying to put a shirt on with its stupid massive back, and clumsy hooves. it'd probably rip the shirt, but if somehow it got it on, how is it gonna fasten the buttons? f'cking idiot cow.
imagine a cow trying to put a shirt on with its stupid massive back, and clumsy hooves. it'd probably rip the shirt, but if somehow it got it on, how is it gonna fasten the buttons? f'cking idiot cow.
cows indulge in exceedingly deep and thoughtful analysis prior to creating threads on public forums
don't think so mate.
all a cow thinks is "should i walk over there and eat some grass, or should i walk over here and eat some grass. oh look somebody is stood near the fence i'll walk to them"
all a cow thinks is "should i walk over there and eat some grass, or should i walk over here and eat some grass. oh look somebody is stood near the fence i'll walk to them"
Animals are funny and cute
some Humans are souless known as Torys
some Humans are souless known as Torys
i'm guessing here, but I reckon you'd be better at walking downstairs than a cow
just a thought
just a thought
laughing at people who are customers of richard branson
better at playing darts than any cow.
better and organising things than cows
better and organising things than cows
adding to this thread any time an activity pops into my head
Playing the Jam & Oasis at very loud volumes
Cooking fish fingers
Going to football matches
Them cows are fuggin useless jackal!
Cooking fish fingers
Going to football matches
Them cows are fuggin useless jackal!
You gonna try**ging him to find out nestor?
Thought not, guess we'll never know then ;)
Thought not, guess we'll never know then ;)
taking corners.
a cow wouldn't know where to hit the ball to, i'd be able to pick out a player waiting on the edge of the box to volley it home
a cow wouldn't know where to hit the ball to, i'd be able to pick out a player waiting on the edge of the box to volley it home
i'm better at contradicting people.
a cow wouldn't realise if it was even possible to make a contradiction, it's just stare blankly with it's tongue hanging out
a cow wouldn't realise if it was even possible to make a contradiction, it's just stare blankly with it's tongue hanging out
But would a cow open a thread asking for a single thing and then reply in the plural? I DON'T THINK SO!
or even worse, it'd try to contradict somebody, but do it on a point that it actually agreed with, so it ends up contradicting itself! stupid cow!
I would guess that you'd be better at**ing as well
Can't see a cow being able to pull it off :D
Can't see a cow being able to pull it off :D
The Jackel for want of a better word you are in the opinion of the forum...THICK
sneaking about.
a cow couldn't sneak around could they? they'd make far too much noise, wouldnt be able to keep quiet.
i'd be much better at sneaking.
a cow couldn't sneak around could they? they'd make far too much noise, wouldnt be able to keep quiet.
i'd be much better at sneaking.
Not sure about that jackal. If you refer back to your mate's story, you have to admit that cow managed to sneak up on the bloke quite well.
Although to be fair I've never seen you sneak, and you may be world class at it.
Although to be fair I've never seen you sneak, and you may be world class at it.
right, think about it like this.
they were using shovels, against probably a hard concrete surface. bound to be making noise. plus they were talking. and it was outside. easy to walk up undetected.
but i'm on about like sneaking in a house. opening and shutting doors silently. not stepping on creaking floor boards, stuff like that
they were using shovels, against probably a hard concrete surface. bound to be making noise. plus they were talking. and it was outside. easy to walk up undetected.
but i'm on about like sneaking in a house. opening and shutting doors silently. not stepping on creaking floor boards, stuff like that
sometimes it can be harder to sneak up on someone when there is a lot of backgrund noise so I don't think we can rule the cow out of the "sneaking up" test yet
how is a cow gonna sneak about a house. it'd just make loads of noise knocking things over
In the environment you describe, i agree you would be definitely better. Althouh fair play to that particular cow for its sneaking abilities. Because cows are big old units to get close without you noticing.
Still after the dumb f*ker got a shovel in the gob I doubt it'll try sneaking again.
Still after the dumb f*ker got a shovel in the gob I doubt it'll try sneaking again.
a bull in a china shop can be clumsy but a properly trained cow could easily move around a house stealthily
i have had no training at sneaking. i'm not a ninja.
so why should a cow get any training
so why should a cow get any training
telling jokes. cos cows can't even speakm and have no concept of humour.
but you were never in the scouts so I think that's a false claim ........
jackal. Do us a favour mate. Can you put that link up to your mate Joe fighting the coat rack. I had it in my favourites and like a tw@t accidentally deleted it. Hilarious stuff. Cheers.
have you put up a giant marquee though, that's the real test for tent erectors
actually i did when i worked for the council, i helped to put up a marquee, and all the flooring and stuff that went inside it
never seen chumbawamba in my life. scruffy stoodants
ok, we'll accept that you'd beat the cow at tent erecting
A cow would enjoy eating the same fish-finger and salad-cream sandwich no less than 4 times, and digest it using no fewer than 4 stomachs. Beat that!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jwinfjspKs
theres the link
theres the link
the cow wouldnt even be able to cook it though, cos it's clueless. wouldnt be able to read the instructions on the pack.
same kid, once we told him the bloke in the garage had his keys, even though they were in his coat pocket.
so he went back to the garage, on speaker phone, asking for his keys, being deadly serious. and he took back the items he'd just bought and left them there
so he went back to the garage, on speaker phone, asking for his keys, being deadly serious. and he took back the items he'd just bought and left them there
cow would be better at Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy than you .......
not thick, just easily wound up when hammered.
used to get to the stage when drunk where he had no clue what he was doing, but instead of falling asleep, like most people would. he would just still be awake. like he was incapable of sleep
used to get to the stage when drunk where he had no clue what he was doing, but instead of falling asleep, like most people would. he would just still be awake. like he was incapable of sleep
My brother doesn't sleep when he's p1ssed. He'll suddenly decide to make a curry at 3 in the morning when he's incapable of speech or thought.
i never said they couldnt, i just said they were worse
just thought of a great one.
planning for things. like i can have my phone bill to pay next monday, so i'll make sure theres at least enough to cover in the bank.
cows cant even use a phone cos theyre so stupid
planning for things. like i can have my phone bill to pay next monday, so i'll make sure theres at least enough to cover in the bank.
cows cant even use a phone cos theyre so stupid
Don't need to plan to pay bills though, do they? Make sure that they can get hold of their mates without paying a phone company. More fool you
the point was planning for things. like budgeting for things. or not wearing a certain shirt on a thursday when you go out cos you fancy wearing it on saturday
i'm far more better than a cow is at copying a cd for my mate.
for a start with it's stupid cow hooves, it wouldnt be able to hold the cd correctly and would probably end up scratching it.
for a start with it's stupid cow hooves, it wouldnt be able to hold the cd correctly and would probably end up scratching it.
Cows do not engage in any sexual activity until after noon. Not fair.
Going back to the curtains thing, a cows are made of beef.
aye, of course it was mate
bet you seen a ufo on that day as well, did you
bet you seen a ufo on that day as well, did you
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