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Thing The Jackal is Better At Than a Cow

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Replies: 104
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:26
adding to this thread any time an activity pops into my head
By:
Dirty Diego
When: 26 Apr 07 09:27
Playing the Jam & Oasis at very loud volumes
Cooking fish fingers
Going to football matches

Them cows are fuggin useless jackal!
By:
nestor
When: 26 Apr 07 09:27
Are you better at going mooooooo jackal?
By:
Dirty Diego
When: 26 Apr 07 09:31
You gonna try**ging him to find out nestor?
Thought not, guess we'll never know then ;)
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:31
taking corners.
a cow wouldn't know where to hit the ball to, i'd be able to pick out a player waiting on the edge of the box to volley it home
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:36
i'm better at contradicting people.
a cow wouldn't realise if it was even possible to make a contradiction, it's just stare blankly with it's tongue hanging out
By:
Ken Masters
When: 26 Apr 07 09:37
But would a cow open a thread asking for a single thing and then reply in the plural? I DON'T THINK SO!
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:37
or even worse, it'd try to contradict somebody, but do it on a point that it actually agreed with, so it ends up contradicting itself! stupid cow!
By:
Dirty Diego
When: 26 Apr 07 09:38
I would guess that you'd be better at**ing as well
Can't see a cow being able to pull it off :D
By:
Coalville
When: 26 Apr 07 09:38
The Jackel for want of a better word you are in the opinion of the forum...THICK
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:38
at least i'm not as thick as a cow
By:
Dirty Diego
When: 26 Apr 07 09:38
OOPS, thought that would be sensored

Sorry Mr Mod :(
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:40
better at holding in p1ss
By:
Ken Masters
When: 26 Apr 07 09:42
You shouldn't drink fosters in the first place.
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:51
creative writing
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 09:57
sneaking about.
a cow couldn't sneak around could they? they'd make far too much noise, wouldnt be able to keep quiet.
i'd be much better at sneaking.
By:
nestor
When: 26 Apr 07 10:00
Not sure about that jackal. If you refer back to your mate's story, you have to admit that cow managed to sneak up on the bloke quite well.

Although to be fair I've never seen you sneak, and you may be world class at it.
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:01
right, think about it like this.

they were using shovels, against probably a hard concrete surface. bound to be making noise. plus they were talking. and it was outside. easy to walk up undetected.

but i'm on about like sneaking in a house. opening and shutting doors silently. not stepping on creaking floor boards, stuff like that
By:
Angoose
When: 26 Apr 07 10:04
sometimes it can be harder to sneak up on someone when there is a lot of backgrund noise so I don't think we can rule the cow out of the "sneaking up" test yet
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:05
how is a cow gonna sneak about a house. it'd just make loads of noise knocking things over
By:
nestor
When: 26 Apr 07 10:07
In the environment you describe, i agree you would be definitely better. Althouh fair play to that particular cow for its sneaking abilities. Because cows are big old units to get close without you noticing.
Still after the dumb f*ker got a shovel in the gob I doubt it'll try sneaking again.
By:
Angoose
When: 26 Apr 07 10:07
a bull in a china shop can be clumsy but a properly trained cow could easily move around a house stealthily
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:09
i have had no training at sneaking. i'm not a ninja.
so why should a cow get any training
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:09
i could put a tent up better than a cow easily
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:14
telling jokes. cos cows can't even speakm and have no concept of humour.
By:
Angoose
When: 26 Apr 07 10:15
but you were never in the scouts so I think that's a false claim ........
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:18
i've put up tents before at festivals
By:
nestor
When: 26 Apr 07 10:19
jackal. Do us a favour mate. Can you put that link up to your mate Joe fighting the coat rack. I had it in my favourites and like a tw@t accidentally deleted it. Hilarious stuff. Cheers.
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:19
just search for joe versus coats
By:
Angoose
When: 26 Apr 07 10:20
have you put up a giant marquee though, that's the real test for tent erectors
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:20
actually i did when i worked for the council, i helped to put up a marquee, and all the flooring and stuff that went inside it
By:
Ken Masters
When: 26 Apr 07 10:20
Was it a trouser-tent when Chumbawumba came on?
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:24
never seen chumbawamba in my life. scruffy stoodants
By:
Angoose
When: 26 Apr 07 10:25
ok, we'll accept that you'd beat the cow at tent erecting
By:
Ken Masters
When: 26 Apr 07 10:27
A cow would enjoy eating the same fish-finger and salad-cream sandwich no less than 4 times, and digest it using no fewer than 4 stomachs. Beat that!
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:27
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jwinfjspKs

theres the link
By:
nestor
When: 26 Apr 07 10:29
Cheers mate. Got it back and just watched it again,
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:29
the cow wouldnt even be able to cook it though, cos it's clueless. wouldnt be able to read the instructions on the pack.
By:
the jackal
When: 26 Apr 07 10:31
same kid, once we told him the bloke in the garage had his keys, even though they were in his coat pocket.
so he went back to the garage, on speaker phone, asking for his keys, being deadly serious. and he took back the items he'd just bought and left them there
By:
Angoose
When: 26 Apr 07 10:31
cow would be better at Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy than you .......
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