Cheltenham Festival
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1) Nicky Henderson accused of corruption after pulling a flanker with one of his leading hopes for the Champion Hurdle only after it has drifted like a barge;
2)An epic cyber squabble of Chisora/Haye proportions breaks out as to who will get up the hill in the Arkle on the Cheltenham forum;
3) Some sad **** posts an inane countdown to the festival along the lines of " ...only 21 sleeps to go...."
4)Some equally sad **** claims to have a Tony Martin handicap good thing for the [ ] Handicap chase/hurdle (insert and delete where appropriate ) but will not name the horse ,source or anything else about the selection until two seconds before post time by which time it is too late to properly lay the **** out of it after it has been backed lemminglike off the boards by the recipients of an unamed chain letter/tipping sheet .
5) Jonjo and JP remain stoically silent as to any number of horses intended running plans claiming various outside factors need to be taken into account before a final decision can be made whilst knowing full well exactly which race they intend to have off .
6) Even the Guardian starts to include some sort of racing coverage.
7) Mark Winstanley found to be suffering from severe exhaustion after attempting to be a panel guest on every Cheltenham preview breakfast/lunch/dinner in the world.
2)An epic cyber squabble of Chisora/Haye proportions breaks out as to who will get up the hill in the Arkle on the Cheltenham forum;
3) Some sad **** posts an inane countdown to the festival along the lines of " ...only 21 sleeps to go...."
4)Some equally sad **** claims to have a Tony Martin handicap good thing for the [ ] Handicap chase/hurdle (insert and delete where appropriate ) but will not name the horse ,source or anything else about the selection until two seconds before post time by which time it is too late to properly lay the **** out of it after it has been backed lemminglike off the boards by the recipients of an unamed chain letter/tipping sheet .
5) Jonjo and JP remain stoically silent as to any number of horses intended running plans claiming various outside factors need to be taken into account before a final decision can be made whilst knowing full well exactly which race they intend to have off .
6) Even the Guardian starts to include some sort of racing coverage.
7) Mark Winstanley found to be suffering from severe exhaustion after attempting to be a panel guest on every Cheltenham preview breakfast/lunch/dinner in the world.
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4, 5, 6, 7 classics!
seriously there are only 15 sleeps to go.... im sooooooooooooo excited
you gotta point though budd....the monday is like christmas eve...i'd like to pause on the monday for a few days just to savour the anticipation for longer, the moments before every thing oes t1ts up, when all the hope is still burning bright.
Quite agree Duffy - and I always find the Friday night and Saturday like January 2nd.
I'm on night shift Cheltenham week. I'll be getting paid to put the finishing touches to the form study!
Great thread - love 1).
Funny, I was in C orals at lunchtime today and the manager gave me an invite to a preview evening they're sponsoring in the City with special guests Paddy Brennan, Simon Clare and ...........................................Mark Winstanley !
Funny, I was in C orals at lunchtime today and the manager gave me an invite to a preview evening they're sponsoring in the City with special guests Paddy Brennan, Simon Clare and ...........................................Mark Winstanley !
You know it's Cheltenham when....
Surprised we haven't had a " Hurricane Fly is out" topic, followed by "in his field nibbling grass" post.
Surprised we haven't had a " Hurricane Fly is out" topic, followed by "in his field nibbling grass" post.
Have to add a few more to an excellent list.
8) Some equally sad **** abuses the fact that there are by now at least five separate threads for each race on the forum, tipping up a different horse as a banker in each one, only to bring everyone's attention to it after one of his/her selections actually scrapes home.
9) At least four or five "Sh*t! Why is the [insert race title here] market suspended?" threads appear at every major confirmation stage,
10) Some even sadder **** starts a thread along the lines of 'thank God the Lincoln is almost here'.
For what it's worth, number 10 poster should be banned for life! Let's not kid ourselves, these next three weeks are the stuff of dreams!
8) Some equally sad **** abuses the fact that there are by now at least five separate threads for each race on the forum, tipping up a different horse as a banker in each one, only to bring everyone's attention to it after one of his/her selections actually scrapes home.
9) At least four or five "Sh*t! Why is the [insert race title here] market suspended?" threads appear at every major confirmation stage,
10) Some even sadder **** starts a thread along the lines of 'thank God the Lincoln is almost here'.
For what it's worth, number 10 poster should be banned for life! Let's not kid ourselves, these next three weeks are the stuff of dreams!
The Lincoln is the most depressing race of the year.
the period in between the Cheltenham festival and the Grand National meeting is the most depressing time of year
The Lincoln makes me feel ill. As the quality slides from Cheltenham to Aintree, then from Aintree to Punchestown, I am haunted by the thought that we have essentially 6 months of total dross to content with.
Need the break mate,its welcome to me,recharge,nice bit of Sun on my back, and get back fit and well for October!!
LOL....""10)[i] Some even sadder **** starts a thread along the lines of 'thank God the Lincoln is almost here'.""
....it is written in the stars and is forum custom that some complete muppet probably already sat at his keyboard waiting to push send on his Lincoln message once the Grand Annual is run decideds that this is a worthwhile sentiment to share ....agree the c**t should be banned.
....it is written in the stars and is forum custom that some complete muppet probably already sat at his keyboard waiting to push send on his Lincoln message once the Grand Annual is run decideds that this is a worthwhile sentiment to share ....agree the c**t should be banned.
Lincoln day is time to look at the fixtures for Stratford, Worcester and Market Rasen 
...and the ante post markets for Cheltenham 2013.
1.) The Paul Jones Weatherbys Trends book arrives
2.) You've read / listned to so much you've an urge to back every horse in every race (and that's before the Cheltenham preview evenings start)
3.) ....the Cheltenham Festival Preview cottage industry swings into action.
4.) Simon Claisse hits the water taps!
5.) ....and some people still say 'if we get a heavy ground festival then xxxxx' is in with a chance
6.) The Martin Julien mailshots increase to one a day instead of one a week
7.) Monsignor is cruelly sidelined for yet another Festival.
2.) You've read / listned to so much you've an urge to back every horse in every race (and that's before the Cheltenham preview evenings start)
3.) ....the Cheltenham Festival Preview cottage industry swings into action.
4.) Simon Claisse hits the water taps!
5.) ....and some people still say 'if we get a heavy ground festival then xxxxx' is in with a chance
6.) The Martin Julien mailshots increase to one a day instead of one a week
7.) Monsignor is cruelly sidelined for yet another Festival.
)
I thought Monsignor was entered for the veterans' chase at Donny today as his Cheltenham prep.
Must have been mistaken.
Must have been mistaken.
i would back myself against most of the immbeciles on these preview nights
winstanley is the worst ever ---
winstanley is the worst ever ---
Where is the "What's the weather like in Cheltenham today?" thread?
i can tell when cheltenham is near as on the monday the missus will suddenly come up with a list of jobs that need doing, lawn needs mowing , the kitchen needs painting, and those heavy paving slabs in back garden need to be put down .
just hope she dont make too much fecking noise doing em and disturb me while the races are on !
just hope she dont make too much fecking noise doing em and disturb me while the races are on !
Paddy Power will offer up festival promotion to ensure everybody has some ammo in their account.
People start backing The Iliad for no logical reason.
Very good most those lol...esp this one....4.) Simon Claisse hits the water taps!
8/ the festival form papers come out.... only 6.99
9/ forum overuse of the phrase "it's a machine"
8/ the festival form papers come out.... only 6.99
9/ forum overuse of the phrase "it's a machine"
The Bookmakers slash all the prices for the Guineas whilst the festival is on
You are no longer interested in sex, even with the mistress.
All my good Ante Posts get withdrawn at the 5 day stage
Spending most of my evening on the same sites (RP, Odds, BF etc) with very little patience for small talk, too busy !! Come back in April.
I have an exam at 10am on the Tuesday and got the day off work on the Monday for study leave.
I will be studying hard allright, but I don't think I'll pick up too much to help me in my exam on Long Term Care!!
The comedown after Friday is worse than when I went raving in the early 90's!!
I will be studying hard allright, but I don't think I'll pick up too much to help me in my exam on Long Term Care!!
The comedown after Friday is worse than when I went raving in the early 90's!!
Luckily us Irish have St Paddys day on the saturday to keep us going a little bit longer
it's my birthday on Gold Cup day so it will either be a big kick a$$ party or drowning the sorrows depending on the outcomes
THE DREAMS THE DREAMS OH GOD THE BLOODY DREAMS. I woke my wife up last night gibbering 'Please send him to the Triumph Alan, ghhhnnnnnnn.'
Indeed, as with everything in life, it's the hoping / dreaming that kills you!
Paul Jones book arriving is the first massively exciting moment, released tomorrow
We are off on our annual spring holiday to Portugal on Monday, returning on March 10, so although I will be logging on most days, I will miss a lot of the useless rumour and speculation about the Festival. The Festival proper starts with dinner in Nailsworth on Monday 12th with the same group of 10 racing fans as for the last 10 years to get in the mood. My oldest clear Festival memory was Pas Seul winning the Gold Cup watched at a friend's house after school but 52 years later, the buzz is still there.
You start hearing that jockeys suspensions will see them miss the Festival
In the not so distant past it was Adrian Maguire getting a 'festival-stopping' injury
That was a relief Roger. Cos if he didn't get injured beforehand, trying deperately to to win a £879 race at Plumpton, we would have to endure watching him throw some knackered old hack, 45 lengths off the pace, at the old second last, giving it a crack whilst in the air and bury himself upto his shoulders. On those rare years that AM made the festival, the ambulance used to follow him round.
I loved watching him mind, but a complete lunatic and wouldn't have got anywhere near one of mine.
I loved watching him mind, but a complete lunatic and wouldn't have got anywhere near one of mine.
Lucky lucky ,? no backstage ,been void ,how do I PICKUP 6 FIGURES Studied for 6 weeks on 5 lines , back to drawing board .
Will paddy give me another tenner to pay the midnight oil ?
Best stick to candle light .
Trainers known for some time charming fellow .
LOOKING FOR A GOOD SUBSTIUTE.....?Start afresh ,forget the dropouts ..line under them ..?
Will paddy give me another tenner to pay the midnight oil ?
Best stick to candle light .
Trainers known for some time charming fellow .
LOOKING FOR A GOOD SUBSTIUTE.....?Start afresh ,forget the dropouts ..line under them ..?
Somebody starts a thread saying they've backed something in a double at 12/1 to win today's race and 50/1 to win the Gold Cup, and how much they are looking forward to their monster 662/1 payout. This then sparks a 50,000 post debate about related contingencies which becomes increasingly ill-tempered by the day.
There is a higher than ever list of pre-after-timers. Definition = people claiming to have been on at stupidly high prices for fancied horses in the big races, and, by doing so before the racing actually takes place, hoping to get away with the fact that they have added a 0 on the end of the price they actually have.
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