Funny-strange -annoying sayings in horse racing

London to a brick on

Stone motherless last

I'm doing plenty (I've got the *rse out of my pants)

    I had something on the winner (I think I've bankrupt three bookies)

    I'm just about square (I'm nearly broke)

    the horse I backed was dead and buried (I don't think the horse was allowed to run on its merits)

    the jockey pulled the horse up (see above)

    the horse must have lost a leg in the float on its way to the track (the horse has drifted alarmingly in the betting)

    can you stand me a monkey? (can I have $500 with no intention of repayment?)

    they went out with a lantern looking for the horse I backed (the horse was a bit slow)

    I got overs (I procured very good odds)

    I took unders (I procured very poor odds)

    I backed it on the billy (I backed it on the tote)

    it was a big shortener (its price decreased profoundly in the betting ring or on the tote)

    it was a big drifter (its price increased profoundly in the betting ring or on the tote)

    it's got the blows (see above)

    it blew like a north wind (see above)

all classics ... and loved Trot's

"nailed him on the post"...

Thebas/Trot

Nice to see Ollie bounce back.

That one drove me crazy !!

Must have been said 20 times

3 wide on a limb

'next start it'

Short price fav gets beaten with my money on it!!

"Lost no admirers"...(to hell it didnt) 

Gone the EarlyCrow

Gone for home!

"They knew"

Funny to see others thinking how I do...

Wonby10
They knew

Yes...my wife always wants to know who are "they" when I say that ....

a question ... if the stewards knew who 'they' were ... would there be a need to question them (they) 

stone motherless last.....WTF does that mean

Not to mention :

Dead last

"three wide"

I never could see the logic of that.

If a horse is outside the leader it is said to be "one off the rail" but the horse outside of it is said to be "three wide".

So please, someone tell me where "two wide" is. No one ever says "two wide".

"in the drive to the line"

Taxi!!

"Kept safe on the tote" How do you do that?

"out in the cheap seats"

Who's Crow backing

Dives... Misses

#1...as I've posted 100 times, the absolute worst, most annoying, ridiculous, absurd comment by any commentator ever in the history of mankind....
Jimmy Jaques "NO MORE BETS PLEASE".....Jimmy you are not working on a roulette table!!
so you're sprinting across a TAB or you're trying to click your mouse to get that last second bet on and you stop in your tracks
because Jimmy J has declared "NO MORE BETS PLEASE" FFS as far as annoying goes it's in a league of it's own


#2...Craig Rail "further back than Walla Walla", FFS the horse raced about 80 years ago, is there anyone still alive who backed him?
every now and then maybe but he uses it over and over and over.....retire it ffs

"Horse A has been the best backed, it's come in from $10.30 to $5.50 on the tote. The favourite, Horse B, has drifted from $2.60 to $3.40"

Er ... no !

If Horse B is the tote favourite then Horse B has been the best backed on the tote.

Joel once gave a clue as to who "they" were

he wasn't sure who they were but he was sure they lived in trees

He's buried on the rails...(RIP)

NSW country trot caller somewhere - "horse X is a king brown away". Can't we just go with "a neck"?

Nov 6, 2014 -- 9:44AM, Village Kid wrote:

#1...as I've posted 100 times, the absolute worst, most annoying, ridiculous, absurd comment by any commentator ever in the history of mankind....Jimmy Jaques "NO MORE BETS PLEASE".....Jimmy you are not working on a roulette table!!so you're sprinting across a TAB or you're trying to click your mouse to get that last second bet on and you stop in your tracksbecause Jimmy J has declared "NO MORE BETS PLEASE" FFS as far as annoying goes it's in a league of it's own#2...Craig Rail "further back than Walla Walla", FFS the horse raced about 80 years ago, is there anyone still alive who backed him?every now and then maybe but he uses it over and over and over.....retire it ffs

Just as I read this the bozo at Mount Gambier Dogs said the same thing

Dooks good to see you're still around....I forgot that ridiculous King Brown comment, I saw a King brown one day that was maybe 10 feet long

and yes Joel there's actually a Jimmy J copy cat ffs

"First over crush"....I think that's what he's saying? Just happened at Albion Park. WTF????

Flying down the outside.....

(its a plane ..its a bird...what tha ..its a bloody horse)

The usual translation of "flying down the outside" is "passing tired horses".

Warned off

not sure about Chris Barsby and his borrowed American terms like "first over crush", "reaching for racetrack", "lights up the tote board" etc
is it that hard to be original? like his mate Chook Fowler "too late brothaaaaaaaaaaaa"
maybe he should practice adding up sectionals and giving the time for the first half as all good callers do

"HOLDS THE CALL"  started going to the races, trots and dogs 50 years ago. \Never heard the expression b4 these knob munching , tan tracking, flee bags on sky started using it. HOLDS THE Fcking CALL. should be HOLDS THE FCKING SLUG

ON THE NOSE

i was swinging the bag for bookies for many years. Melb cup day we would get a thousand punters whose experience of racing was the movie a "day At The races" On The Nose NEVER EVER acceptable on an Australian race track

A good one I heard from a caller when a horse "hosed up" was "he's going so well this boy he could touch mc hammer".

Still around Village, just playing elsewhere these days.

all the best dooks, good to see you're still punching on

In the death seat!! 

(Is that the electric chair...buzzzzz )

wtf does first over crush mean anyway?


Steve Hawkins - following the harness boys (not sure if they still use it?) but he does >>>chewing steel
Paul Dolan - each and every single 1000m race at the Sunny Coast just as they are about to jump says 'One thousand the fly'......wtf?
These that i know of Greg Miles and Chook Fowler -horse in run and at finish 4 instead of fourth


He/She 'insert name of horse' is as GREEN AS GRASS....said horse can comfortably described as either bay, black, brown or grey

i'll have a PONY on Phar Lap....
i'll have a MONKEY on Kingston Town....
Then of course a GORILLA on Makybe Diva


how do these animals ride horses? most especially a pony?

I never like it when the caller says my horse 'finished later than a Lets Elope tip'

"and if you've backed the favourite you wouldnt want it over again"


why ??? if you have backed it and its won, you would want it over everyday of the week.

whats the alternative ? it loses....stupid comment

  classic bulldog

Jumping out of its skin

Quick get the sewing needle before its tooo late

Back in the days when I use to go to the races I noticed "you beauty" use to win a lot.

Trotlover;

Think it was more.."Youuuu beuuteee"

True Story -I was having a shocking night a few months ago betting on the flea-baggers when I decided to have one last bet . The dog I backed(cant remember its name, lets just call it " shaggy"  missed the start about 6 then went about 25 wide on the first turn even though there were no dogs anywhere near it and went out of the picture. The caller went through the field until he got to mine and the comment was "And shaggy is in another suburb" Even though I had lost plenty for the night and all accounts empty I laughed so hard I nearly fell off the chair.

"The smart money"

'the more you put on the more you'll get back'

... well you'll know more about that after the race than before it i reckon

'looks a picture'

.. what .. the horse stopped moving & breathing ?

secong, first over is an American term for the deathseath/facing the breeze/outside the leader
the one one is 2nd over, one out two back 3rd over etc
so if anything wins sitting outside the leader Barsby lets rip with the Americanism "first over crush"
if they win easily it "won in a hand drive".......come Chris get original!!
he did say once that the leader was "free balling in front"......I never knew horses wore Reg Grundy's???

and I forgot another annoying thing Jimmy J says "following the one one"

Backed off the Map.....      .Dora is that  you

'didn't raise a sweat' ... really ?

VK

Your NZ callers seem to use "first over" "second over" etc as referring to their finishing position, i.e. first over the line, second over the line etc.

The "death seat" is an interesting concept.

I wonder why it's called that.

It's not actually a bad position to be in. Plenty of horses win from there.

I have a theory. When I get into a car with a few passengers and I decide to sit in the passenger's seat at the front I often say "I'll sit in the death seat." By that, I mean that if the car smashes into a stobie pole I will probably be the one who gets killed.

Is that possibly the origin of the term ... that the position outside the leader equates to the front passenger's seat in a car?

The all time most annoying "value" .   aaaarrgh!!!!!!

thanks for the explanation VK

The starter say GO!!

(Thank goodness...one two three  potatoes was getting boring)...

A classic I heard  one day can't remember who it was I think it was at the locals somewhere such and such is pulling hard than a 14yo boy in running, I nearly pissed myself rolling around on the floor laughing.

Used to love Stuart Shenton's but this will get the bugs bunny for mine, another classic that local commentators used to use is covering more ground than the early explorers, drawn out in the swan river, didn't realise it had swim to start the race, drawn the river see previous comment, such and such has exploded away well if this things exploded how is it going to win???
Skipped nicely clear in regards to both galloping and or pacing if its skipped clear how is it going to win by skipping thought it was supposed to be galloping or pacing, slipped away if its slipped how can it possibly win, finishing like a shot out of a gun, pretty sure if a horse was shot out of a gun it would be dead, stopped as though shot well if it was shot of course its going to stop in its track. Finishing like the kalgoorlie express, finishing like a train, pulling like a train, brown bread, lump of lead, deader than julius caesar, this things swamping them what's it doing carry a swamp around to chuck around opposition horses, this thing's going faster than last weeks pay what happens if you haven't spent any of last weeks pay, you're clearly not going very fast then etc, etc, etc.

On a slightly different tangent there was a classic form comment in the GP racebook one night many, many, years, ago, Abe Brown - hasn't won for many moons and unlikely do so tonight, guess what it duly saluted.

you couldn't have found it with a black tracker very politically incorrect these days, couldn't run out of sight on a dark night translates to a very, very, slow horse, a victorian one or one I hadn't heard until I went to victoria year years and ago now I' mcast or totally cast, meaning I'm broke,  this is all over bar the shouting,  he's gone for home, gone for the lick of his life there's a million of these, that make up the great tapestry of racing terminolgy.

you couldn't have found it with a black tracker very politically incorrect these days

... lol yes probably so

maybe ... "couldn't have found it with an indigineous tracker" would get through

either way it's a compliment to the skill of the tracker i guess

but one of those funny sayings nonetheless

Lets...good to recall these that you mentioned:

exploded away

covering more ground than the early explorers

its skipped clear

finishing like a shot out of a gun,

stopped as though shot

finishing like a train,

this thing's going faster than last weeks pay

biggest boilover since Polly put the kettle on

"a roughie" wins

roughie (ˈrʌfɪ)
n
1. (Animals) a small food fish of the family Arripididae, found in southern and western Australian waters. Also called: orange roughy, ruff or tommy rough

No one has ever bet enough on a winning horse

punters off to a bad start (after 2 favs beaten in the first 2 races).....or, punters in trouble here (fav having no luck in the run)
WHAT???? are the 2 winners of these races not backed at all???

cheeses me when they NEVER say FAVOURITE punters off to a bad start or similar...brain dead commentators

I was fielding last Sat and the gay on-course doctor - who bets with me all the time, says to me with a cheeky grin " hey bookie, your blowing the Favourite"
To which I replied "It hasn't come to that yet Doc"!

We all had a laugh

Village Kid--I was there when Polly put the kettle on--After she put the kettle on she took off all her clothes,went to the bed room and yelled out "Hey whiskers,---Can you please close the bedroom door and go and put the rubbish bin out.Then you can wash the dishes and sleep on the couch. Ill see you in the morning"

Whiskers:

"she took off all her clothes"

???

Secong,

You're right about favourite punters.

Overlay punters generally don't back favourites, but on those days when the favourites are winning nearly every race you never hear the race-caller say "It's a shocking day for overlay punters".

lol finally we agree PP

I think for commentators there are only two groups, favourite punters and bookies.

" he's going backwards"

I 'd like to see that

"He blew the whistle"
A Steve Hawkins fave.

He blew the start

At least he didn't blow the starter.

"....and he's fallen out of a tree to win". Said by a lot of dog callers as the winner races past the pack.

such and such has jumped or is jumping out of the ground late.... what the fark was it doing in the ground in the first place???

jumping out of the ground

fallen out of a tree to win

"so-and-so is coming home with a wet sail"

uh-huh. So you're saying this is a boat-race

This thing has come from the clouds, what the fark is it doing in the sky in the first place??? This thing's flying home, well if it can fly surely that's an unfair advantage and it should be disqualified.

Pitts and Lets

He'll need a pogo stick to win from there....

Strike me pink he's threaded the needle and won

Nov 22, 2014 -- 9:50AM, henryluca wrote:

He'll need a pogo stick to win from there....Strike me pink he's threaded the needle and won

I wonder how many traders he screwed with that gem.

All but called it incapable of winning.

A UFO could fly down and vaporise your horse a metre from the winning post and a dozen morons would be lining up to say 'well that's racing!'. 

Nothing is good, bad, medium or indifferent.  Whatever happens they mindlessly repeat the same thing to avoid thinking or having an interesting discussion at all costs.  Saying 'the sun is hot' would be less boring.

Brilliant call because even the wizard himself (Pike) thought he was farked at the time.

Lets-

-go to Perthracing and follow prompts to tv and the race...for some reason the call..impromptu remark about the pogo stick has imo made it very memorable race..without thise words it simply gets a split and wins but the calls gives it so much flavour

It's my understanding Sporting Equipment is banned from Ascot, a pogo stick could possibly be classed as sporting equipment, so perhaps the horse should be stripped of the race.

i think in fairness to the horse's owners it should be asked to prove that a pogo stick would have benefited it in the run

i mean where would it carry the pogo stick and at what point in the race would the horse have mounted the pogo stick on its hind legs to give it an unfair advantage ?

unless of course it wasn't the horse .. but a ring-in ... then a disqual is in order

http://www.pogostickusa.com/pogo/pony.htm

and i agree Henry .. it was a great call with great colour ... 

and the day racecaller's start thinking about protecting in-play traders over the atmosphere of the race as a whole well all is lost imo

fark in play traders if you have to rely on the race caller calling the race for you to understand whats happening in the run you zero idea what you're on about anyway, bad workmen as always blame their tools. Macca's Railway call was one of his best.

When Crow steps in, the unders begin

Stewards quizzed Nutman as to why the horse wouldn’t participate before the jockey’s master Garry Frazer stepped in.

"Why don’t you ask the horse,” Frazer said.



A horse is a horse of course of course....the famous Mr. Ed

Looked like a "boat race".....

Since when have horses looked liked boats

He's gobbling up the ground!!

( theory...dont feed your horse prior to its race...so he gobbles up the ground)