If I could understand what the hell your talking about I would appreciate it

A meeting of forumites in the chambers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4nsKDJlpUbA

Cheers!

KDR is on the turps again

The five figures who entered the surgery later that day made quite an impression on a startled doctor. He quickly looked them over. A bald man bleeding profusely from what looked like a dog bite. A formidable looking woman with a large bust carrying a look of disdain. An aggressive hairy man of unpleasant aspect with darting eyes. A friendly looking chap who on closer inspection appeared to be dead drunk. And a very fat boy.

'Please,everyone,sit down. What seems to be the problem? The  four adults all started talking at once.

'I need stitches! He bit me. He might have rabies. Do I need shots? The boy needs shots too.'

'I'm not sure you're qualified. We need a gender expert. We could be talking gender reassignment here. The boy clearly has an enlarged clitoris.'

'Chop the fckker off I say. It's filthy. It is an insult to GOD.'

'Hey Doc,you got a bottle opener?'

The doctor raised his arms. 'Hang on hang on. Who exactly are the parents of this child?  Once again the four adults all started talking at once.

'I found him on the street. He was stark naked.'

'HOW DARE YOU try to bully us with your LOATHSOME gender stereotypes. This is not 1950. Get out of your conservative hetro-normative hate filled world and stop holding us back with your gender politics.'

'It's fckking easy. Just a little snip. I'll do it myself if you are too much of a fairy boy. Fckking STOOGE.'

'Hey Doc can I get a prescription for some ecstasy tabs? I think that  boy's been into my stash.'

The Doctor held up his hands again. 'Ok ok. How about I have a look at the lad and we'll take it from there. EarlyCrow went over and sat opposite the doctor. One look at the boy and the doctor sat up in his chair. 'Good Lord' he muttered as he observed EarlyCrow's bulbous cranium. The doctor reached in a drawer and got out a tape measure and put it around the boy's head. He whistled and mumbled Jesus Christ while taking some notes. The residents of the Chambers looked at each other. Then the doc asked the lad to take off his clothes. Once again he emitted a noise while looking at the size of EarlyCrow's large belly. He held a stethoscope to the boy's chest and back and asked him to breathe. Then he tapped the boy's knee with a little hammer thing to check reflexes. Nothing happened! He tried again. And again. DA burst out laughing. 'Fccking Hell Crow you got no reflexes what a DUD!'   The doctor spun around and said,' SHUT UP YOU DRUNKEN FOOL!!'  'Sorry.'  He went back to his champagne.

Then the Doctor asked EarlyCrow to stand on a table. He produced a camera and started taking photos of the nude boy. 'Yes that's good. Now turn around. Nice.'  He looked over at the perplexed faces of the four and said,'Just part of my research project.'   Da Judge looked over at the others and said 'I hope this cnnt's not a friend of the Elephant.'   DoubleAgent got into the spirit of the photo session by dropping his track pants and bending over to expose his buttocks and exhorting the doctor to 'Cop this one Doc,get a shot here mate!'  TeenQueen exploded in righteous anger 'For FCKKS SAKE DA can't you go anywhere without chucking browneyes? We're in a doctor's surgery for Crissakes. Show some respect for his Research Project'.   'Oh Fckk him. I'm going home. This is boring.Fckking peedo!'

By this time Da Judge was becoming increasingly concerned with the doctors' behaviour. When the doctor said to EarlyCrow 'I'm having a little soiree round my place tomorrow night. I'd love you to come and meet everyone. Pick you up about 7.'  Da Judge lost it. 'Right that's it. We're outta here.' He grabbed the boy and stormed out. The doctor called out 'don't be self conscious about your weight. Some guys really like that.'  On the way out they passed DA who was telling a woman that the best way to avoid cancer was by never using public transport . STS had found a marker and was drawing big circumsised knobs all over  the waiting room.  TeenQueen was fending off a lust filled Chinese man.

EarlyCrow never did get his shots.

promise

Get off the grass, Dumbo.

Mopey, be careful what you wish for, I feel anal probing is long overdue in this story

So what kind of man was this Live In Hope? By his own admission he had two great passions in life. Puntin' and Huntin'. He approached both pursuits with the same random haphazardness and achieved the same level of success. Which is to say,no success at all.

The previous Sunday LIH accompanied by his father and brother went on one of their many hunting expeditions. Three across the bench seat of an HQ ute. Two pig hunting dogs in the back. These dogs,one a bull terrier cross kelpie and the other some kind of pitty cross learnt everything about hunting from their master,and as a consequence had so far had killed as many pigs on a Sunday as LIH had winners on a Saturday. Usually upon hearing the approach of a wild boar the pair would make haste to the front seat of the ute, the pittie actually putting his paws on the steering wheel and willing the vehicle to get them the hell out of there.

The three Queenslanders considered huntin' with very wide strokes on a broad canvas. If anyone asked what they were huntin' they invariably replied 'feral pigs'. The truth of the matter is that they actually just liked shooting their guns and killing things. Anything really.  Roos, sheep ,cattle,wombats,koalas,native birds,pet dogs and cats,road signs. They were terrible shots and most of their kills came from running over things with the ute. They liked nothing better than knocking down a roo then jumping out and bashing the fckk out of it with their bare hands. It was considered a successful trip if they managed not to shoot  each other. All three had bullet holes in their forearms where while driving along one of them took a shot at something through the open window but only managed to hit someone's forearm resting on the sill. The roof of the HQ had been patched many times from where a firearm was accidentally discharged.

The trio drove along,dropping their empty XXXX bottles on the floor so that eventually  their feet couldn't  touch the floor.  Shooting at anything from asylum seekers to animals that looked like POOFS they couldn't be happier. The only thing that troubled LIH was his lack of punting success. That's why he went to Da Judge's.

And at Da Judge's that day he wasn't getting much satisfaction. Da Judge had an idea. 'Hey you know DA is pretty good betting on Rugby. Maybe he can help?'  LIH was not impressed. 'FCKK THAT. Rugby's a POOFS game. Private school POOFS and shirtlifters. No thank you. No offence DA.'  'What about you try Glen Polletts Mounting Yard Mail. It's only $33. I hear he has a winner on the odd occasion'.   LIH was still not impressed,'Who the FCKK is Glenn Pollett? You don't mean that ugly cnnt from the Punters Show that's always raving on about TQ so he can FCKK her? Thanks but no thanks. You Sydney CNNTS are all low dogs and POOFTAS. Can all GO AND GET FCKKED!! I'm going back to Queensland. Gods Country. NO POOFS. NO DAPTO DOGS. NO RUGBY .NO TRAPPIST ROCKSH1T CAT PISS. Just XXXX.  Youse are all CNNTS!!!'

EarlyCrow watched LIH go out to his ute muttering oaths and looked on in amazement as the angry banana bender got a 410 Mossberg shotgun out and blew Da Judge's letterbox into a thousand pieces. 'Cooool' thought EarlyCrow.

haaha hunting asylum seekers
very good

part of my life's story has vanished

im sure your Trilby covers the bare head and the tweed jacket if only done up by 2 buttons would cover the belly