*** LIST OF THINGS TO DO BEFORE THE WORLD CUP ***

find out the difference between slovakia and slovenia

do not underestimate teams you have seldom seen play............

Remove any talk of a group of death during world cup discussions.

thought I better tell the wife the final is on our wedding anniversary, we are now going out for Sunday lunch instead of evening meal that day, Phew!

find out what time the games kick off in british summertime

arrange to be away from desk

buy a pith helmet

Tot up the broadcast hours per annum that EastEnders, Loose Women, Desperate Housewives and Gok Wan add up to when combined.

This will enable you to quickly slap down the the inevitable "There's going to be 200 hours of football in one month!?" comments that will eminate from her after reading female chat magazines from May onwards.

Start building my mark lawrenson effigy and get prepared for setting fire to it 3 days into the competition

Affix St Georges cross to your car

Turn down the sound on you TV to avoid listening to those fecking horns. Will ruin the World Cup imo.
Bet large on the Germans at 14/1. Lay off some of it when they get to the final.

Buy 32 sets of team kit.

dust off the england car flags that are in the loft

Make a list of people you know who currently have no interest in football so that when the World Cup comes along and you find them all giving it the big 'un like experts you can tell them to" FVCK OFF YOU KNOW NOTHING TW4Ts"

only thing to do before world cup is
lay england

resist the urge to punch tim cahill in the mouth every time i see him

Ring Derren Brown to find out what the half-time score is, what the full-time score is, which team triumphs, what the attendance is, how many people are wearing glasses, how many ants died during the tournament and what are the chances of John Terry appearing on the next series of Wife Swap!!

Ring Ocean Finance Hand in Notice Buy beer Buy a villa when Mexico win the world cup