Your fave 'Baize-boy', and how you'd spend an afternoon with him....

nice one parkie ;) you really seem to have got the hang of this thread :^0

I wouldn't mind a game of hide and seek with Dene O'Kane

Any more?

An afternoon on the pop & a titty bar with the angelic Shaun Murphy

I'd like to go galloping through the glen with Peter Ebdon

Clearing up dog foul in the park with Dave Harold(fully plastered)

Out of my manor on glue (shoplifting in IKEA) with Barry Pinches

atit all day with jimmy and ronny wood

Tobagonning with Tony Drago followed by a pie and pea supper

david grey singing and playing snooker and drinking of course!!

drink driving with dean reynolds,then a road kill curry

A beetle drive with Steve James and Angles McManus

Any more?

Taking Stephen Lee to the **ing cleaners ...

On the afternoon it will be trainspotting with Patsy Fagan, and at some point i will ask him if he has got over his problems with the rest.

The following afternoon i will be going to an origami class with Tony Meo.

Oh and i forgot to mention, me and Billy Snaddon are off to the cinema this Saturday for a Saw-athon, all six films back to back, should be fun. He wanted to bring Chris Small but i talked him out of it.

I' pay a lot of money for a booze cruise down the River Dart with Len Ganley.

I'm not saying there wouldn't be any reach around action but i most certainly would not make the first move.

No sir.

Len is a gent and would clean your balls first, before attempting the easy brown.

one of the funniest threads ive seen on here - craft fair with tony knowles had me in stitches. :D

tree hugging with Marcel Gavreau in the New Forest.

Just had a quiet cry knowing that I will never accomplish a long-cherished dream.

Would have loved to go to a different town centre at lunchtime each day with the late great John Spencer, performing 'street theatre' or 'performance art' or 'being workshy idiots doing nothing of any earthly value' or whatever it's called these days.

John and I would perform various skits from assorted 'Carry On' films, with Spence excelling himself as the various Barbara Windsor characters, and your humble author doing the Kenneth Williams and Sid James parts.

Our 'showstopper' would involve us standing completely still, pretending to be statues, generating awestruck looks and responses from deluded passers-by, who would empty the contents of their wallets and purses into our begging bowl, then go home and wonder why they massively are in debt.

I think you will agree, a beautiful dream, tragically never to be realised. Quite frankly I just want to wash that dream right out of my head.

Decorating my spare bedroom with Perry Mans, after which I would treat him to a Chinese and a couple of episodes from my Curb Your Enthusiasm box set as a token of my gratitude

Doing some graffiti and petty vandalism with Steve James

connect 4 with Dave Harold

just spotted this

always my ambition to have an afternoon emptying the bins with 'Steady' Eddie Charlton

binge eating on Xmas selection boxes with Peter Francisco

A quiet day pottering around Ludlow with Marco Fu.

And then an evening of vigorous bumsex.

browsing charity shops in Potters Barr looking for cake stands with Terry Griffiths, one of us in a wheelchair to save our legs for the running machine at GymBox later

Limo and Shampers with Brian 'blaster' Combe

I would like to spend an afternoon walking barefoot through a park in Glossop, listening to a Catherine Cookson audiobook on Jason Weston's IPod.

An afternoon spent with Graham Miles,Les Dodd,Terry Griffiths and Michael Holt,it would consist of an indoor games competition,cluedo,
connect four,crossfire and ker plunk.Holt would be warned in a Frank
Dobermanesque manner not to bang hes fist on the table during the
ker plunk discipline.

I'd like to trol the ancient yuletime carol with Mark King...got a problem with that?

Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the sawathon with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

riht - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just looking at the floor and feeling awkward

Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the 'sawathon' with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' up the river dart LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

right - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just probly looking at the floor and feeling awkward...

Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the 'sawathon' with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' up the river dart LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

right - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just probly looking at the floor and feeling awkward...

Yes - it still lives!!!!
Liking the 'sawathon' with Pinches and the Ganley 'reach-around-action' up the river dart LOL!!! Awesome effort people - isnt it time the bbc took this up as an actual prize next tournament???

right - im off to sit in a dark room with Ding just probly looking at the floor and feeling awkward...

Whitewater rafting with Graham Miles.

Knock down ginger with Chris small

Nothing I'd love more than ...

Picking up spares playing Ten-pin Bowling with Murdo Macleod...

TTT

Playing spoof with Martin Clark while drinking warm ginger ale in the Sedgeley British Legion.

Spatchcocking a brace of guineafowl with Cliff 'the tasche' Thorburn

getting on the powder with ronnie ;-)

**le-picking with Liang Wenbo at sunset in Morecambe Bay followed by a night out in Blackpool.

I´d like to spend an afternoon arranging my CD collection in alphabetical order with Andy ´the cream of Devon´ Hicks.

Urinating on left over snow with Jim Meadowcroft,swords crossing.

Squeezing the spots on joe johnsons back

cooking meatloaf with alain robidoux

an afternoon trying to drop pub gamblers with Stefan Mazrocis, leading to a rowdy p*ss up round northampton.

There isn't one of us who would turn down the chance of an afternoon with those marvellous Francisco lads.

In an ideal world we'd all be completely skint, and forced to sing for our supper (and more importantly our betting money) outside shops in the High Street. We'd deliver a Jive Bunny type medley of Bananarama hits and Glenn Miller classics. Our showstopper though would be doing 'Ice Ice Baby', doing rapper moves, looking sinister, taking it in turns to do the verses, then joining in together on the chorus.

Obese women would swoon at our feet and empty the contents of their purses in admiration. When our collecting hat ( one of those berets from the Manchester Commonwealth Games) had reached 100 quid, we'd head for L abdrokes, and spend the afternoon doing mug accas and forecasts on the Monmore dogs. Each time we won, we would do the Haka, complete with adrenalised stare at the shop manager.

Heaven.

I fondly remember the summer of 1986 - Alain Robideux and I hooked up and flew out to Cali. Geez - we cruised them beaches with aviator shades and no frickin tops on dude. It was all about catching rays, flipping frisbees, balling chicks and smoking doobies. Oh man - we were 'the guys'...

Surely a lovely seafood restaurant meal followed by a power-walk on the promenade with Stefan Mazrocis must rate highly on everyones list of 'Five things to do before I Die?' Shirley?

I would love to watch Gary Wilkinson do blues off the spot for 5 hours

.

Oh i dream of potholing in the yorshire dales with the dapper red vested welsh lothario Dominic

Restoring this thread to its rightful place on Finals Night

Illegal dog fighting with Sandy Higgins in the afternoon followed by an evening of hell-raising in Hartlepool. In just our pants...

A night out in Moscow with the Wizard.

I wan to go to Chessington World of Adventures with Terry Griffiths.

Bumped by popular demand.

Have to say the early ones are def the most classic - lets hope for a good final tonight!

I'd go watch Leicester with Selby.

a game of dominoes and a bottle of stout with Cliff Wilson

Designing waistcoats with Jon Birch.

LOL, how many here actually got their wish?

Steve Davis at a poker table... Achieved! The man is such a gent, and I could have picked his brains for days.

west wing boxset sesh with Willie Thorne

Well Well Well what a thread.

Personally I would "come dine with me" and have a mixture of old and new.

Firstly I would have to invite the lovely Allison Fisher along.  Just as eye candy.  Lovely lady.
Secondly it would have to be Kirk Stevens.  I would make him wear his famous "dappers" and bring the champers.  I would defo ask him if he wanted to punch SilvinoFrancisco when he accused him of playing snooker under the influence of stimulating narcotics.
Thirdly would have to be Steve Davis.  Spitting Image called him "interesting" in the 80's and I think he would actually be very interesting.  It would be good to get the Spitting Image puppet at the same time to perform a "Punch & Judy Act".
The fourth and final memember would have to be Jimmy White.  He would bring the contents of the bar.


NOW:  I would also have entertainers.  Firstly, I would ask Rob The Voice Walker to assist the evenings events, and maybe assist as the butler for the evening.  he could annouce "Lets get in the mood 7 eat some food" etc.

Secondly I would have to ask Virgo and Davidson around and rig up a table for a quick game of "Big Break".  We have the four players so where would the contestants come from you may ask.  Well that is easy.  I would ask acouple of friends around. (forgive me but I am going to pretend that they are all alive - sorry)  Firstly - Spike Milligan, scondly - Oliver Reed, thirdly - Frank Sinatra, and finally George Best.


This is not too much too ask.

I think it would be a fun event.   [;)]

Topless Snooker with Murphy and Lee, with Alan Chamberlain refereeing naked (except for the white gloves).

Id quite fancy a game of eye spy with  Mark Davis while Barry Hawkins does a little jig  for us both,tea to follow.

Since my eyes have recently gone, and I need advice on how to cope, I'd go for an afternoon at Specsavers with Steve Newbury.

Thanks to Groupon these baize-boy afternoons are now cheaper than ever before! The other day in Tavistock me and Andy Hicks had a full body lazer hair removal session AND a colonic each for under 20 sheets. We went  to Greggs after...

.

good to see this all time classic thread back up where it belongs

I'd love to spend long afternoons excitedly wrapping up Christmas presents with Lee of Trowbridge, then together we'd take them down to the Post Office (singing Carols loudly as we do so), and send them by First-Class 'Signed For' mail, or "International Tracked and Signed" for overseas parcels.

I'd like to go on a Ripperesque killing spree with Ray Edmonds, later benefitting from Ray's expertise in forensic science to incriminate Rex Williams.

i often look out of the window wistfully and ponder cruising the fjords with the reliable darren morgan.

I think that is the best thing about Darren...His availability.

As the day arrives of the start of the 2015 renewal of the World Professional Snooker Championship, let this thread take its place once more at the very top table that our sport can offer.

I'd visit Rex Williams in Broadmoor and taunt him with pictures of Ray Edmonds' moth collection.

Perry Mans because every time I think of him I am transported back to being a little boy in the 1970's. Always dressed immaculately too.

Sometimes Alun it is only this thread and its warm sepia-toned imaginings of convivial afternoons spent in the company of top sportsmen that keeps me going...

I agree my friend. Some of the greatest ever forumites also graced this thread in its early stages. Sadly many have left us since.

A whole day in the bookies with the whirlwind doing 50 quid reverse forecasts on the dogs one race after another.

Sounds fab.

sex with cliff Wilson .

As the 2016 feast commences, let this thread once more take its rightful place at the top table.

Once more it emerges like Godzilla from the murky depths...It cannot be killed!

Looking  back at the start if this thread makes me miss the contibutions of Snookerbacker. Fair play to the guy, his blog is pretty darn good.

Trainspotting for a whole afternoon in Leeds with Nigel Bond, both of us in matching leather jackets (of course).

Milking goats with Tony Meo

I hope one day I'll be able to fulfil my dream, and take Alain Robidoux to one of those 'self-help' seminars.  We would pay 650 quid (each) to be taught how to write down a list of goals, do collages of the things we like, and learn how to stroke and caress one another lovingly.

To begin the day, I'd take him and a professor of Pythagoras Theorem to a joiner's workshop to get his perfectly triangulated beard even more perfectly triangulated.  This would be aligned in perfect symmetry to his sharply triangulated nose.

We would then spend lunch time snacking on Dairylea Dunkers and watching the 'Ronnie O Sullivan 147' box set.  Off we would then trot, to our afternoon seminar.

After visiting the forest to find some suitable wood for a new cue, the Canadian hunk of man meat and myself would retire to a Ronnie O Sullivan-themed log cabin, where the stroking and caressing (mainly of the beard and nose areas) would commence.

I think I would get more out of it than he would.

Back to where this thread belongs, for the World Championship.

Standing side by side out the back of the snooker hall, **** in hand, with Wayne Jones, staring up at the mist caressing the mountain, sighing.

That was the slang word for cigarette by the way ...

Cheesy karaoke with Ding Junhui.

I've often thought that an afternoon playing Scrabble with Igor Figueiredo would be time well spent - I wonder if he practises on a smaller board than we use when he's in Brazil and then has to adapt his game when he comes to Europe.

Not that Words With Friends rubbish either - proper Scrabble, with the bonus squares exactly where one would expect them to be and not placed willy-nilly around the board as if by a Battleships maestro.

afternoon at leeds castle with dotty, chasing each other round the maze

Sadly this would probably never happen, but for a long time I have fantasised about seeing Coventry City vs. Steve Davis.

This annual treat should be brought back to life.....

A round of golf with Liang Wenbo would go down a treat

I'd like to talk about big silver coats with Darren Morgan, and then nip off to visit Ryan Day where we could sit down and watch an episode of family fortunes.

I'd like it to be a Saturday morning please. If I could, I'd like to spend a few hours with Fergal O'Brien while mending our bicycles together in my back garden. We'd tell each other a few jokes, and then have a Pot Noodle for lunch... sigh...

Sit around enjoying a crack pipe with jimmy and alex while listening to snooker loopy..

Back to its rightful place for the 2019 feast.

Sure to be a few new baize boys who will find a home here.