Just come in from pub

I would go back if I was you.

WE GOT ANOTHER UPDATE AT 1715, AND SURE AS JESUS THEY FKED UP AGAIN

Not a lot then.

there was a young man named rock
who instead of a condom used a sock
there was a bit of a fracass
when it got stuck up her @ss
untill he discovered his best m8 in the frock

Bloke is on business out in Thailand. In his hotel when he gets a knock on the door. Open's it, and standing there is this gorgeous bird, mini skirt, stockings. "Can I do anything for your Sir," she asks? "No," the bloke replies, "I'm happily married." "Come on," she says, "How about I give you a hand job, won't do any harm." So the bloke thinks about it, and says, "Well, are you any good?"
She takes him by the hand, leads him over to the hotel balcony and points, "See that Ferrari over there. I got that by giving the best hand job in Thailand." He says, "Go on then," lies back on the bed and has the best jack off ever.
Next day, same time, knock on the door, same bird. "Can I do anything for you Sir? "No, I'm happily married," comes the reply again. "Come on," she says, "How about I give you a blow job?"
He thinks about it and says, "Are you any good?"
With that, she takes him by the hand, leads him out onto the balcony and points. "See that villa over there, the one with the expensive tiling, the biggest pool, the palms.......it's mine, I got it through giving the best blow job in Thailand." "Come on then," he says, and he lies back on the bed and has the most amazing blow job ever.
Next day, same time, knock on the door, same bird. "Can I do anything for you Sir?" "Yes" he says, "To hell with the wife, I WANT YOU!"
She takes him by the hand, leads him over to the balcony and says, "See that yacht out in the bay, the big one, helicopter pad........." He 's stops her mid sentence, "Don't tell me it's yours!"
She replies, "No," "But it would be if I had a f@nny."