O/T Best mans speech

thebestmanspeech.com - even has lines for situations where there are 2 best men

where is Highstacks when you need him :D

I would have one of you just pure pulling pish and the other serious in that order.

Na, I told my brother he can take the pish and so if I start doing that too he's gonna get in a mood (he's like a child at times) I just wanna say a few nice things about my dad and make people laugh.

I'm thinking of saying how my dad always wanted to play American football and be a tight end, but the next line eludes me at the moment

But instead he is now a wide receiver (if fat and gay) !!! :D

He's fat but he is getting married for the 2nd time and has 3 kids so gayness is unlikely!

does he play for Wales Rugby team ;)

Really? Does he play rugby by any chance?

too slow :)

get back to your own thread, I had punctuation and everyfink

That site is good but I don't wanna pay a tenner for the speech, although a few of the lines there did make me laugh.

Tell your brother it is £20 and his half is £10. Or pay for it yourself, it's not that much really

The golden rules are not to make any sexually explicit jokes and never say anything rude about the bride.

People will more or less laugh at anything, but dont make them uncomfortable by being too near the knuckle or too rude.

"I was really honoured when Dad asked me to be his Best Man. Although I was fairly nervous about it, he told me that if I do a good job I can do his next one too" :)

Your gags should be at anyone but the bride and groom as that is your brothers target so the last one is not really for you, but I had great fun delivering it to my mate. Here are a couple I remember from doing one a long time ago.

We had trouble deciding upon the seating arrangements for the big day, and so we decided to go with the biggest presents nearest the front, the smallest at the back. A special hello goes to xxxx for the salt and pepper pots *wave* can you see alright from there?

And a special thanks has to go to the two most important people here today. I am sure you will all join me and raise a glass to xxxx & xxxx the barstaff.

I struggled with this speech and so decided to look in the dictionary for some words that summed up my dad. And it worked, it came up with Solid & Well Rounded. If you don't believe me lookup Knob for yourself. I did the same for the bride ... it just came up Gin & Tonic!

How about

"Me and my dad have done lot together, and thank christ none of them have turned up today".

Good luck

Start off by saying


" I get very nervous having to stand up in front of an audience so I asked one of my friends for advice ... he told me to prepare a few lines, and I would be fine... so I took his advice, and he is right, having just snorted them, i feel a lot more relaxed"

Instant ice breaker - when you first stand up and you're as nervous as hell - show everyone your speech and say "i'm not saying i'm nervous but this isn't the first time today i've risen from a warm seat with paper in my hand"

And compare notes with your bruv beforehand so you don't nick any of his jokes!

Good luck!

Best one ever was my cousins wedding. My other cousin his brother was the best man and hes known as a bit of a joker anyway. My cousin as some of you know is a pro footballer and also must be the tightest bloke on the planet.

During the best man speech his brother brought up the infamous Leicester City La Manga incident, as my cousin was caught up in that. It caused a few raised eyebrows as it caused the family a lot of upset at the time. He says, "We all know James was totally innocent right from the start, as soon as it was reported the girls were drinking Dom Perignon that night we all knew he was in the clear"

^^^ nice

I also did a best mans speech for my dad earlier this year, opened with

"This is my first best man's speech, but I shouldn't be too nervous considering the similarities with some other first times of mineL Firstly, I'm nervous as fkuc. Second, I've no idea what I'm doing, and finally it'll probably be a massive disappointment."


Good luck. Can't remember it exactly but it was along those lines :)

So how'd it go?

Surprisingly well, everyone laughed at the right places and Dad seemed happy.

Got plenty of comments from people afterwards saying how good it was.

I went with a theme about what you should learn from your father and explained how my dad taught me about Beer football and women and then listed things that I'd also learned from him that were probably not so worthwhile like how to swear at a referree and how to p1ss all over the toilet seat etc.

Thanks for all the help guys :) nicked a couple of lines from best manspeech. com

oh, and there was a fire at the reception hall later on which was mildly amusing