Rorys Rally

Brilliant callit !

Like it -wd calli.
Could be an anthology by the time Rory is finished.

Well done! You should have included

A little each way
On Westwood was done
The fat lad f*cked up
And left me to moan.

Ok -the muse has just paid a visit and so .....

Some people say Rory was lucky
At the PGA gig in Kentucky
'Twas no walk in the park-
Finished up in the dark-
But I say the lad was plain plucky.

He showed courage ,commitment and skill
To see off Rickie , Henrik and Phil;
He'd a mountain to climb
But his shots were sublime
As he slowly moved in for the kill.

Rory McIlroy now stands supreme
His career is just building up steam;
He will generate stories
Of triumphs and glories
And of many more majors will dream.

Fascinating to see how he fares
Facing up to the world's best players
But I humbly suggest
He will pass every test -
Is he British or Irish -who cares !?

There was a young fellow called Rory
Whose golf skill was once the big story
His tryst with the Dane
Meant he started to wane
Since he ditched her he's headed for glory.

You lads are excelling yourselves !

There once was a golfer called Monty
Who could be a little haughty
Show some respect you sh1ts
At least he still has great t1ts
Unlike Tigger who was just plain naughty

Monty has the tits alright....pity he never got himself a pair of balls.

talking about Rory -it must be a sporting mystery how he missed the cut at the Irish Open ...
(or else it's a stronger tournament than we thought.)

It can be noted though how several Irish Open champions go on to perform significantly better afterwards e.g Donaldson and Ilonen. It must have something going for it when all is said and done.

No mystery Vub......that's the last time I backed him!!

Some brilliant limericks from Vubiant,pity Ozymandius came along and lowered the tone.

His contribution reminded me of Robert Frosts comment on blank verse,its like playing tennis with the net down.

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.

Margaret Thatcher

Fair play to the lad.....you'd have to take yer hat off to him after last sunday night.....tremendous bottle shown and the ability with it......every orange man must be proud of the guy.....an iconic figure for the Unionists.....and some will say after the death of George Best and Alex Higgins.....his rise to stardom is well timed....the one thing that leaves a bad taste is the repeated attempts by the paddies to claim him.....a bit like they did when Darren Clarke was in his pomp....well hes as Irish as Ian Paisley so why do the paddies still claim him.....everyone knows hes British.....and so what if he is.....it is irrelevant really....but not to the thick paddy it isn't.....

You are mercurial.

One minute you are blaming Thatcher for the Middle East crisis the next you are quoting her in an unashamedly boastful way.

Paulie also mercurial.

An old and dying James Dillon described Ian Paisley as a man proclaiming to be British but on every utterance showing himself to be what we all know an excitable Irishman.

I never blamed my heroine Thatcher for anything.  That would be your legendary inability to understand kicking in.

What time are your Meals on Wheels arriving today?

That's a city thing certainly not around here.

Probably another free service its no wonder ye all want free food when you go to the Curragh.

Do you actually pay for anything ?

Do you have someone who comes in and 'does for you' Dan or how do you cope with domesticity?

Its just when you see the Curragh as a great place for a bite to eat and with sparkling toilets and the like, I start to worry about life Chez Dan.

the local lady in the boozer does give Dan a hand every now and then....but only when its his turn as she can be quite busy.....as there are quite a few who avail of her services......

Hardship wouldn't bother me but one of the joys of parenthood is dutiful daughters,they come in and have the place looking like a picture postcard cottage regularly.

You still haven't told us the last time you were at the Curragh.

one of the benefits of breeding like a rabbit; there will always be free help around the place.

Childless loveless and unable to answer a relevant question.

It certainly ain't free but it was definitely worthwhile.

She charges you?  So much for loving duty.

Raising children costs you time and money and some aggravation but I wouldn't have it any other way.

especially given your allergy to latex.

Never saw a reason to muzzle a good dog.

Woof!

You finally dragged me down to your level.

Norman , cries aloud about HER INDOORS been subject to the horrors of the Curraghs toilets , a rather English way of saying the wife , I'd lay long odds on  , HER INDOORS ain't a female...

that's you blocked again, Wonks, I'm afraid.

Grow up ffs Norman its only a bit of banter ...