Turkish Barbers...

Be careful you could get the Colombian flu in them places

Many people smoke North African Woodbines in your village ?

They're mostly a front for selling illegal ciggies etc and money laundering Acey, should get a close shave though.

Never any hair on the floor!

any Romainian Nail Bars in your little village acey ?

and if so do they have a room through the back for 'special menu' stuff ?

The guy running the Turkish barbers near me sits reading a book all day , must average around 5 customers per week and does nothing to attract business = i'd probably back money laundering at 1.03.

didn't have you down as a country bumpkin acey

The new Curry Houses

Turkey's biggest export....

In the 70'S we were assured by rogue elements of the Sunday papers that Chinese takeaways were all linked up to facilitate the red revolution. Wonder what they'll make of this?  lol.

Only went in once but the **** burnt my ear when he was removing my ear hair....I jumped 5 foot in the air....No even an appology ffs.

Me no understand

Big scab on my ear for a Month and i am no joking.

He set fire to this fluffy ball thing and put it in my ear and left it in to long....Beginner ffs.

did ewe get ya phallus shaved?

My local barber is German.



..... Herr Kutt.

Have a word with the  council acey, ask who's bright idea it was, sounds like plenty of brown envelopes being passed around imo.
The Turk I went to put his prices up so I stopped going there, all I have is a grade 2 all over, it takes literally 5mins and the **** wanted £15.!! GTF.

Whats the village called Acey?

.... Craggy Island.

my barber is from Iran...£14

Madeupton

Uberalles16 Apr 25 16:33Joined: 23 Nov 02 | Topic/replies: 738 | Blogger: Uberalles's blog
Whats the village called Acey?.....Bgins with B and ends with E Uberalles and it's in England.

South West.

How many letters?

Said to much already layemall.

They getting the Monopoly in most towns and villages

raided the boy who was claiming to make £160,000 a month doing haircuts.

think he may have pushed it a bit two fahr ....

Greasy individuals tbf….

55 haircuts an hour, 12 hours a day, 30 days a month. 

seems reasonable

and apparently, which was reported recently, a countrywide increase in cases of ringworm due to lack of hygiene. How are 5 of them allowed in one village for example? I think Hayden and GC are along the right lines.

I guess some forum users are missing the days when Julian and Sandy were running these establishments.

been to places where there's 5 in a street. 

2 next to each other and one across the road.  all standing outside smoking, not cutting any hair.

Sounds like betting shops - five in every high street - none of them taking any bets - all just a front for the FOBT factories.

Dublin is full of tgese as well, along with the mobile phone repair shops. Same mo, multiple ones in the same street. Of course our government is advertising a 60k handout to any non national to come in and start a business while locals whose businesses are badly struggling get no help.

Just go to Sutton (Surrey) high street. They are challenging the bookies for industry representation. I just cannot understand how all of them can make money. Each shop must cost quite a bit to be kitted out given everything is brand new.

acey deucy 16 Apr 25 16:07

Only went in once but the **** burnt my ear when he was removing my ear hair....I jumped 5 foot in the air....No even an appology ffs.Plain

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get a mini ear and nose shaver thingy man...

£1.99...

German Donor Kebabs , Another moody Franchise

We have Turkish on one side of the road and a Kurdish guy the other.   They hate each other.   I prefer the Kurd he opens on a Sunday and charges £10 for pensioners.   I'm 74

I paid £15 (£16 including tip). I'm a pensioner too. But, the Kurds are very pleasant and friendly.

why are folk paying for a haircut ffs ?

just buy a pair of clippers and DIY...

£9.99 at Lidl just a few weeks ago.

https://www.argos.co.uk/product/3384620?clickPR=plp:1:34

WAHL...

£14...

all you need imv.

correct.  and a bunsen burner for your nose and ears

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c3677xzk56no

ear and nose trimmer...

Home Bargains £1.99 hulk.

The equipment are not expensive, a home visit is though. Anyway, its proliferation (the locals and Greeks could not make it work profitably) could be a disguise for something else and non-HMRC friendly.

A kurdish barber near me was depositing 120k a week in cash at the bank...Got raided, in the local news
It's open seven days a week but at roughly 12 quid a haircut that's 1,000 a week, or 140 a day... There's 2 of them, so 70 each a day in about 8 hours...!

Acey, I'm guessing Bishop Cleve...?

Gone Beserks

I bought one of those JML  circular things for about 20 quid...
Bloody brilliant, do the bonce about twice a week, takes 5 minutes
Saving myself loads over the year

Regbutler16 Apr 25 19:02
A kurdish barber near me was depositing 120k a week in cash at the bank...Got raided, in the local news
It's open seven days a week but at roughly 12 quid a haircut that's 1,000 a week, or 140 a day... There's 2 of them, so 70 each a day in about 8 hours...!

Acey, I'm guessing Bishop Cleve...?.......Nope.

@regbutler

"depositing 120k a week ... 12 quid a haircut that's 1,000 a week, or 140 a day... There's 2 of them, so 70 each a day in about 8 hours...!"

You missed a zero.  That's 10,000 a week, or 1,400 a day, or 700 each per day, or one haircut per barber every 40s...

Thanks, Longbridge, you are right
I worked it out that way first, then thought I must be wrong
Should have used a calculator

A lot of haircuts, anyway

Ship them back to grease land…..only here to screw the promised land tbh….imo…

Turks come from Turkey, which is next to Grease land

All much the same reg tbh…

Consider yourself lucky to escape with a sore lug acey, bastards murdered 3 UN colleagues in Cyprus and slit their throats, Turkish Barbarism!!

Rodents….

In the absence of NHS dentists (they decided to go private and enrich their bank accounts) I'd welcome Turkey Teeth Dentists just as long as they don't give you Red Rum gnashers (like Klopp has)

Half of aint even Turkish ffs.....I dont mean to sound racist btw because i am certanly not.

Most acey, not half.

Perhaps they have a Brothel out the back?

Money laundering like the kebab shops lol

'acey', the barbers are overwhelmingly Kurdish these days. I'll ask my barber when I go in next. I've always wondered how they can make a profit when others cannot; I've not realised ML could be the objective.

What about car wash? Mine is a combination of Aghani, Kurdish and Iranian.

You'd think HMRC would welcome the chance to tax the criminals as they wash their ill-gotten gains.

You can never catch the organ grinders anyway only their monkeys , so might as well grab a slice of their action.

Just been to one. Embarrassingly I forgot to take some cash out and almost fainted when the chap said they take card payments. I thought all of those places were cash only.

Proof of income johnny

@impossible - hand car washes are the other obvious one.

You need:

- a business with no cost of sales (so all services, no or few goods that need to be bought and accounted for)
- predominantly cash business
- a casual and rapid-turnover workforce (so return of laundered cash after skimmage can be disguised as paying barbers/car-washers)

'longbridge', my car wash charges £12 (no interior). It takes about 10 mins max. If busy eg weekend and sunshine, there could be a long queue eg 20 mins until you'd get seen even with a two lane queue. This could mean £12 x 12 (6+6) = £144 per hour or £1440 per 10hr day or £10.08k per week. I think a dodgy one could easily claim or submit £50k per month or more citing bigger vehicles/interiors are charged more, etc, even during very quiet periods eg rainy days.

My Kurdish barber started off accepting cash and card. Now, it's only cash. The young boss (not seen there for over a year) drives a black Merc. His staff are entirely Kurdish and mainly relatives, very courteous and good at what they do.

how much money you going to give back if you're declaring £150,000 a month ? 


even if you're money laundering the tax mans going to be taking an absolute wodge off you.

All these undesirable people pouring in and bringing pain and sorrow require a hard boiled egg where the sun don’t shine tbh….

How does The Treasury income correlate with the population of taxpayers, and population of adults? Similarly, how does HMRC income, and the spend on welfare benefits?

"how much money you going to give back if you're declaring £150,000 a month ? "

Interesting thought.  If you're MLing £150k a month do you:

- declare it for tax, so it looks legit and is properly 'laundered'
- don't declare it for tax for fear of attracting attention?

I'm guessing the first, but I've never been in a position to have that choice to make...

@impossible

My Syrian barber takes only cash - it is literally the only transaction I use physical money for.

I suppose it's possible he finds he convenient to be able to pay his staff in cash, like it's the 1950s and everyone gets a brown envelope of notes on Friday afternoon?

Cash is preferable with most barbers as there is no credit/debit card fee to pay. Conversely the English barber does not take cash, only card for security and convenience.

yet more rubbish from unbearable. hard to credit this twerp is for real

and top right looks a bit like a young Clint Eastwood...I know what you're thinking punk

Robin Hood and his henchman.

Good one lads.

Elton Johns new song out - Like a Candle in the Ear